Chapter Four

Lizzie definitely wasn't sleeping. After tossing and turning for a good ten minutes she allowed herself to accept the fact that she'd have to do something to try and help herself sleep. The ceiling wasn't helping.

She left Miranda's room quietly and walked across the hall to the bathroom. Just to pass the time, she told herself, not so that I can pass the guest room and get Gordo's attention. She excited the bathroom and heard change jingling coming from the guest room. Mission accomplished!

"What was that?" Lizzie asked innocently as she poked her head into the door frame and Gordo looked up at her smiling.

"Ohh I was just emptying my pockets…" he moved closer to Lizzie who had walked into the room now, "can't sleep?" Lizzie nodded and entered his now open arms. She rested her head on his shoulder while his arms wrapped around her waist, leaving his hands on the small of her back. She sighed and relaxed into his body, taking in the moment and taking meticulous mental notes of the entire situation. Lizzie turned around and Gordo's hands moved from her back to the waist band of her pants. They stood in silence for a few minutes, both unsure of where they were going from there,

"Hey Liz, you remember that night last year on vacation when I kissed you?" Gordo broke the silence and Lizzie instantly tensed. What a night that'd been.

flashback

It'd been a long rainy day at the beach, and Lizzie was tired mentally and physically. She and Gordo had a huge fight that morning and it created drama for everyone in the house. He of course had apologized, but Lizzie still hated the way things felt.

They'd been teasing the boarder of taking it too far for the past week. Gordo was still dating Brooke and Lizzie definitely hadn't been expecting to be this close to him. But there they were, holding hands late at night and hugging for too long when no one else was in the room. Everyone noticed but didn't say anything, and the one time it'd been brought up both wrote it off as people making "something out of nothing".

Everyone was getting ready for bed and Lizzie found herself on the edge of Gordo's bed to "say goodnight". She was staring off into space, again, and Gordo couldn't help but notice. He rubbed her arm gently to get her attention and she looked at him.

"What's up?" his eyes were pleading with her, and she quickly felt her insides melting at the sight of it.

"I just… it doesn't matter" she started to pull away but he grabbed her arm carefully, pulling her face closer to his.

"No, what is wrong?" he wanted to know, badly, he hadn't seen her look like that in years and it was scary to see her so sad. She pulled away again, and he pulled back, pulling her all the way down so her head rested on his shoulder.

"I just, shouldn't have gotten mad this morning. And I'm sorry that I acted so dumb." She sat back up and looked at his face, he smiled and shook his head,

"That was then; you're not acting stupid now so it doesn't matter." Lizzie smiled back at him, of course he understood. Their gazes locked and Lizzie became totally unaware of the world around her until,

"Alright guys, I'm turning out the lights" Miranda flicked the light switch and settled into her bed.

"Okay" Gordo called out, without breaking his gaze with Lizzie. Miranda rolled over and Lizzie started to get up to go to her own bed when Gordo, a little forcefully, pulled her down so she was resting on him again.

"Where are your legs?" Gordo whispered into her ear and Lizzie should have realized then that she was not going to bed anytime soon.

"Right here" she answered, even though she knew he wasn't looking for that answer. He reached down and pulled her legs onto him. He started running his fingers up and down them, and Lizzie knew he loved how smooth they were. They stayed in that exact position for two hours, Gordo's hand moving from her legs to anything and everything he could get his hands on. Legs, arms, face, stomach, back they went everywhere and even though Lizzie knew that they'd definitely crossed that line she didn't mind. She pulled herself up closer to his face, closing her eyes and gently placing her nose onto his.

Lips.Hands. That line was further away than ever.

Lizzie barely had time to register what was going on and how they'd gone from nose to lips without her noticing. All she knew was that he was kissing her. She pulled away quickly and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that was, I'm sorry." Gordo hurriedly whispered in her ear, Lizzie nodded into his shoulder. Of course he was sorry, he didn't really mean this and he didn't really want it. In a few days he'd be home to his girlfriend and Lizzie wouldn't matter.

"end flashback

Lizzie wanted to turn around to Gordo and tell him that yes, of course, she remembered that night. In fact she thought about it every damn second of the day. Instead she nodded; she thought she might throw up if she opened her mouth. Butterflies seemed to be attacking her insides-their numbers multiplying every second.

"I didn't say I was sorry because I didn't want to do it, I said I was sorry because I thought I made a mistake." Forget the butterflies; Lizzie's stomach had officially hit the floor. She didn't know what to do, there was so much that she could say but she wasn't quite ready to tell him all of those things.

"I'm going to bed now" she turned around too quickly and embraced him. He squeezed her tight and when she pulled away she could have sworn he looked hurt by her lack of response. But she had to get out of that room. This wasn't the place or time for this to happen. It didn't mean anything. It didn't mean anything.

a/n: the lack of reviews is making me feel like this story isn't worth writing. please review :)