Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, apart from my laptop. Oh well. This means that although I cannot make any money from the wonderful JKR's characters, I can make them play out scenarios in my strange imagination. That's good enough.
When Ron woke up the next morning, he knew something was wrong.
He certainly felt different. He was having trouble remembering how long ago he had started wearing baby blue nightdresses, and who had used a charm on his hair while he slept?
They had made it go all bushy and chestnut! Ron panicked, leaping out of bed with a speed only achieved by top Quiddich players.
Dashing over to the mirror on legs that were much more slender than he was used to, he glared frantically at his reflection, which glared back in a way he had seen just the before.
When he and Hermione had been fighting.
Ron realised that, despite the fact that this could not be happening to him, all the evidence appeared to point to him being in Hermione's body.
A yell that he had heard before, issuing from his own mouth though, from the direction of the boys' dormitories. 'The boys' dormitories?' he thought 'then I'm in the girls'…. 'Morning, Herm' Ron span round to see a scantily clad Lavender Brown, yawning and padding over curiously to him.
'What's wrong Hermie?' she asked tenderly, and Ron wished she would giving him these awful nicknames, blushing bright red at what she was wearing 'Are you still upset about last night?'
Ron felt an odd tingle in his spine. Hermione sounded like she had been more upset than him!
'Umm, yeah, I just need to see Herm…Ron' he stuttered 'Oh, good, I hope you patch things up with him!' Lavender called at Ron's retreating back as he hurried out of the dorm and down the staircase to the boy's dorms.
Ron pounded at the door he knew must contain Hermione, as that is where his own scream had come from earlier. The door opened a crack, and a hand grabbed the front of his nightdress and dragged him in.
He entered to find Harry, Seamus, Neville and Dean, along with his own body, in various states of undress (his own body was tightly wrapped in a dressing gown). (A.N. for all you Americans, that's a bath robe, I think…)
Harry, Seamus, Neville and Dean were all sniggering, and to his horror, he noticed that Hermione's hand was clutching a very intimate area of his newly acquired anatomy.
'Get out! Now!' he bellowed, very aware of the fact that her hand was still in his chestal area. He noticed Hermione head for the door with the others, and hurriedly called to her 'Not you, umm, Ron'. Attempting in vain to ignore all the cat-calls coming from the reluctantly retreating boys, such as 'Get in there Ron!' (Dean) 'Way to go mate!' (Seamus) and a simple 'Woo-hoo' (Neville). Only Harry looked at the pair strangely before leaving.
When the door was safely shut, Ron turned furiously to Hermione and hissed 'Do you think you could remove your hand from my breasts? You're making me look like a pervert!' Hermione blushed, placing her hand at her side. 'I don't see why you're making such a fuss. They're my breasts in any case' she said briskly, trying to cover her embarrassment.
'Not while I'm in you!' he yelled, suddenly realising how this would sound to the boys, who were almost certainly listening downstairs. Lowering his tone, he continued 'Well, how did this happen? Did you see a spell made for only the most intelligent wizards ever, and think you'd have a go?' 'Well, yes' Hermione conceded, 'But it was hours ago and it went perfectly!' highly affronted that Ron would suggest that she had performed less than perfectly in any task she attempted. 'Well, how then? Who would hate us enough to do this to us?' They simultaneously replied 'Malfoy'.
They began to debate who should be the one to confront him. This was a slightly unusual argument, in that they both had to argue that they had the best chance of getting Malfoy to lift the spell.
Hermione thought that Ron could use his 'Feminine charms' on him, for as she rightly said, Malfoy was a player and would go for anything in a skirt. Ron said he didn't have any feminine charms, and insisted that as a fellow pureblood, Hermione should try to reason with him on his own terms.
To cut a long story short, Ron lost and that is how, two hours later he ended up in Hermione's dorm, trying on her clothes.
'But Hermione, I can't wear that!' he cried, while Hermione held out an almost indecently low-cut top, which Ron never knew existed. Probably only wore it around Krum, he thought with a stab of jealousy.
'You can and you will' she replied firmly. Hugely embarrassed, Ron complied, knowing that arguing with her was pointless, when the worst pain he had ever felt ripped through his abdomen, leaving him reeling helplessly, screaming soundlessly on the floor.
'Ron, that's a bit of an overreaction, all I asked was you to wear a skirt' tsked Hermione, looking disapprovingly at the stricken Ron.
As the pain subsided enough for Ron to speak again, he gasped out feebly 'Hermione, you have no idea how painful this is. It's worse than the cruciatus curse! I think I'm dying! GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL WING!'
Ron fell into his helpless writhing on the floor again. Hermione stared for a while, before checking a calendar on her wall. The she collapsed into desperate giggles.
Horrified at this cruel reaction to what he thought must be his last moments on earth; Ron cried 'What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you care that I'm suffering worse pain than you could ever imagine?'
Hermione laughed harder, replying 'Trust me, it isn't! This is just what my time of the month feels like, and because we've switched bodies, it's now YOUR time of the month!' Ron gaped, unable to believe that half the world's population had to go through this once EVERY month. Was this why he had told Hermione to 'Stop fussing, you're blowing it out of proportion, I'm sure it can't hurt that much'?
A small box landed next to his head. He picked it up, and it was shortly followed by another. He read the first, which was labelled 'Aspirin'. 'What are these?' we asked weakly, staring up at an indifferent Hermione. 'Aspirin' she replied, 'for the pain'.
Ron quickly swallowed two of the little pills before Hermione snatched the box off him 'Hey, I NEED those!' he protested. 'No more' she replied, storing the box safely in his trunk and pocketing the key.
'Now we need…something else' she muttered, as if half of her wished he would not hear her. '
What?' he asked, hoping for more painkillers, but he was shocked when as a response to embarrassment, Hermione switched to business-like mode. 'Well, first thing is, we're going to Myrtle's bathroom' Ron groaned vainly 'Not Moaning Myrtle!' he wailed 'Why hers?' Hermione stared coolly at him for a moment before replying 'Because no-one ever goes there, and we'll need some privacy'. Ron paled.
Ten minutes later, they arrived at the flooded bathroom, and said 'In you go'. Ron lingered nervously at the edge, looking uncertain. 'What're you waiting for?' she asked impatiently. 'It's a girl's loo' he replied, glancing around in case someone happened to be passing and see them in there. 'Oh, for goodness' sake!' Hermione dragged him into the cubicle, and slammed the door behind him.