Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If you want me to own Harry Potter, please send money to the following address. The second I get about one trillion billion, I'll buy Harry Potter, and re-write it so it's basically Ron/Hermione all the way. I'm waiting :).

A.N. How's this for quick updating? Haha. Better not get too used to it, I'm being attacked by plot bunnies leaving me with only half a story. Got a lot of ideas, but no idea how to link them all together. Thanks to all my absolutely fantastic reviewers, you keep me writing.

Thanks.

Only the thought of putting up with the kind of pain he had felt earlier could force Ron Weasley to attempt to seduce Draco Malfoy. He sighed, and knocked at the huge stone door, which was suspiciously answered by a weasel-eyed first year. 'What do you want, Gryffindor?' he asked rudely, and Ron came close to clouting him, but that would blow his cover.

'I need to speak to Draco Malfoy' he said tremulously. The first year nodded, and stepped by to let him past. Ron staggered in across the cold stone, and was met with equally cold glares. 'What the Hell is a Gryffindor doing in here?' asked a nameless Slytherin from one side. Then Ron spotted the stormy grey eyes gleaming from a corner. Draco Malfoy was lounging there easily, and his eyes were lapping up the sight of Hermione's half naked body. Ron shivered.

'What's up, Mudblood?' he sneered, stalking over to Ron. Ron saw his opportunity. 'Oh, Draco, thank goodness! I didn't know who else to turn to! You have to help me' Draco smirked 'And why would I do that, Granger?' Ron threw himself into Draco's arms. 'Because I love you! I just can't' Ron choked 'Resist you anymore. Harry and Ron threw me out because they found out. They said I was a traitor'

Draco looked stunned. 'You love me?' he asked, his lips curling up into a shark-like leer. 'Well, why don't we go and talk about this in privacy?' Ron nodded, pretending to cry 'My bedroom is just across here, my father paid for it', Draco smirked at the Slytherins in the common room, leading Ron by the hand into the huge chamber.

Ron sat down on the massive green and silver bed, and Draco put his arm around him, staring blatantly down Ron's torn top. Ron was very uncomfortable with the attention, but continued 'I've felt strange since last night, do you know why?' Draco ignored him, sliding closer, but Ron pressed the point. 'Seriously, I've…not been myself since then' Draco stared at him. 'I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Granger' Draco replied 'But I know a way to make you forget about all that' He smirked suggestively.

'Let me put it another way' giggled Ron, feeling like a traitor 'I know you know what I need. If you need a little persuasion, that's ok'. He leaned into Draco, who had other ideas. 'Oi!' Ron shrieked, slapping his hand away from a part of Hermione's anatomy he had himself stared at in the past. 'Chill out, Granger, I'll be gentle' said Draco, reaching out again to press Ron into the bed.

Back in the library, Hermione was vainly searching through old textbooks, hoping to find out what it was had caused them to switch. One potion caught her eye, and she wondered where she had seen it before. Oh, she remembered, it was just the potion they had made yesterday in class. She flicked on. The potion. The one they had made yesterday, that had spilled all over her and Ron. Uh-oh.

Ron and Draco heard a first year's voice squeak from outside 'Oi, Gryffindor, you can't go in there!' and an enraged Hermione burst in. Draco suddenly looked terrified; he knew what happened to boys that tried to 'get to know' Hermione when Ron Weasley was around.

Ron scrambled up from beneath Malfoy's grip, and ran to Hermione. He hadn't realised before why some girls were afraid of guys, but then again he hadn't realised how much stronger he was as a guy. Thanks to Quidditch, Draco was no fairy, and he had been truly scared for a while there. Thankfully he threw himself into Hermione's arms, and felt much safer having them wrapped around himself protectively.

Playing in character, and angry that Draco had almost taken her virginity (and she wouldn't even get to experience it for herself) Hermione began to rant lividly. 'Draco Malfoy, if you ever come anywhere near Hermione again I swear, by all the Gods ever invented, I shall murder you. She is not yours to touch, you scum!' Hermione enjoyed testing out her new muscles, bloodying Draco's smug face with a blow, and beginning to feel sorry for the boys she had caused Ron's wrath to come down on in the past. He was one powerful lad.

Draco drew his wand with a triumphant look, and Hermione had to put her hands in the air. Who knew what an apprentice Death Eater could do in his own territory, and she didn't have her wand, she had left it on her nightstand, what with one thing and another. Draco smirked evilly at her, and snaked his arm around Ron's waist. Oh, Jeese, Hermione thought. He actually thinks Ron likes him. This ought to be good. Feigning horror, she backed away to get a better view.

'You're wasting your time, blood traitor' Draco sneered, and Hermione giggled silently as Ron's ears began to redden. 'Granger loves me'. He grabbed her face and forced a kiss from Ron. 'She's hopelessly fallen for me, haven't you?' Draco purred. 'I know you're pathetically smitten, blood traitor, but this is my plaything now' Ron's red ears became accompanied by a bright red blush. 'Find your own Mudblood'

Draco became suddenly aware of someone pounding his chest as hard as they could, but instead of finding ? stone of tough, Quidditch-trained muscle, he was amazed to find Ron's new but tiny fists raining down on him furiously. 'Don't ever call her that, you slime!' Ron screamed. Draco caught Ron's fists easily, and wrenched him off him. He leered disgustingly. 'Looks like your blood traitor boyfriend doesn't care, mudblood' said Draco, wrapping his large, pale hands around Ron to keep him from fighting 'I suppose I'm free to have you make up for that, then'.

Enough was enough. She had to stay in character. Now, what would Ron do, Hermione wondered. That was easy enough. Draco Malfoy found himself being thrown by the scruff of his neck out of his own bedroom and Hermione carried a shaken Ron out of the room, and out through a common room full of amazed Slytherins, who were helping Draco back to his feet and whispering excitedly. Great. Now there would be rumours of Hermione sleeping with Draco Malfoy. Just what they needed.

When Ron had calmed down from his rage at Malfoy's 'mudblood' slight on Hermione, she told him what she had found out. 'Ron, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I know how to switch us back. The bad news is the potion takes a month to brew, it's honestly worse than polyjuice'. Ron looked horror stricken.

'There's one more thing we need to sort out tonight' muttered Hermione awkwardly. Ron just looked at her, puzzled. 'Sleeping arrangements' said Hermione. 'I can't very well sleep with the girls now I'm in you, can I? They'd freak out. Actually, Lavender would be all over me, which would be worse, just to get back at me' she noticed the gleam in Ron's eyes and slapped him. 'I know what you're thinking, and no, I will not be turning lez anytime soon. Honestly, boys!'

'Fine' answered Ron, rubbing some life back into his arm. 'It's simple, you sleep in my bed and I'll sleep in yours. Who knows, it could even be fun' he chuckled 'I'd love to see what happens at night in these girls' dorms. Will there be underwear pillow fighting?' Hermione sighed. This was going to be more difficult than she had expected.

'Can I trust you to not try and jump any of the girls in my room?' she asked, irritated. 'Not even Lavender?' she continued bitterly. Ron pretended to look hurt. 'Never! I swear I'll be the perfect gentleman with them. All I'll do is go to your room, I'll close my eyes when they undress, maybe have a good look at you in the mirror as I change into tiny underwear in which I can run around the great hall proclaiming your everlasting love for Snape…'

Hermione glared back at him. 'I swear, if you do that, you will be professing to the whole common room that you can no longer live a lie, and ask Neville to marry you'

Ron laughed. 'Ok, ok, I promise I'll be good if you keep my dirty little secret. Can I at least still wear the tiny underwear?' Hermione looked daggers at him. 'I don't own any tiny underwear. And believe me, you will shut your eyes when you get changed. Otherwise I will be treating the Gryffindor girls to a thorough show whether you deserve your place on the list in the girls' bathroom: Hogwarts' sexiest guys'

Ron looked thrilled 'I'm on that? I thought it was just a rumour. Who's above me?' Hermione sighed. 'Well, obviously Harry has the whole celebrity-thing, so he's popular with the younger girls, and he comes in just above you. At the top, above him, is, of course, Draco Malfoy. Everyone knows he's top, you just have to look'

Ron was turning red again. 'I'm third? Wait…Draco Malfoy? The guy who almost raped me today? Head of Death Eater youth!' Hermione retorted angrily 'Who cares? It's hot, not nice. You've seen him. Stormy grey eyes, Quidditch-toned body, dark past, gorgeous hair you just long to run your hands through…' she broke off, uneasily aware of Ron glaring at her and muttering death threats at Draco and every Malfoy for the next thousand years.

'Don't look like that' she pleaded 'At least you beat Snape'. Ron looked utterly disgusted. 'Snape's on there?' Hermione rolled her eyes, before explaining 'He's dark, he's mysteriously unattainable, he's incredibly intelligent, he has the most intense eyes and a sexy smooth voice that makes your toes curl up in anticipation' Ron threw her one last filthy look before storming up the stairs to her dorm.

It was only then that Hermione realised she had sent an angry, jealous Ron Weasley up into a room of semi-clothed girls. She groaned. All she could do now is hope he kept his promise.

If any of you wonderful people has anything you would like to happen in the story, review and tell me. I'd appreciate the help. If not, just review anyway :)