I cradled Bella in my arms for what seemed like hours. Every once in a while I would trail kisses down her neck and over her closed eyelids, feeling her shudder beneath me. I never wanted to move; no one could make me.
"Edward?" Bella said faintly. I could feel her mouth moving against my chest.
"Mmm?" I sighed into her soft hair.
"I missed you." Her thoughts were sad as she remembered all the pain she had gone through without me by her side. How could I ever have left her? Did I honestly believe we would be better off without each other?
"I'm so sorry, Bella." I touched my cold lips to her temple. "I missed you too; more than one could imagine." I didn't include the anecdote of which I sat pathetically on the ground for days on end. Instead, I tried to come up with the words to describe how I had felt. "The moment I left you in these very woods"—I could feel Bella tremble at the memory—"it was as though someone had caught hold of my one loose string. The longer I was gone, the more I could feel the string thinning. The farther away I got from you the farther it was unraveled. In the end, I had no covering. Just a thin thread connecting my heart back to yours."
Bella's head lifted from my chest and her honey-colored eyes met my dark ones carefully. "Mine wasn't like that at all," she said quietly. "The first few minutes after you left I knew there would be no string to pull upon. I had no covering from the start. It was not a gradual pain. It was staggeringly powerful and painful—but most of all, constant." The thought of my causing Bella that much pain was bad enough; to see the agony on her face was a new misery altogether.
I could think of nothing to say to ease her distress, so I requested a favor.
"Run with me."
A smile slowly appeared on my love's face. I smiled back, taking in a deep breath and letting her seep in.
"Where to?" Bella questioned.
"Does it matter?" I wondered. She beamed and grasped my hand tightly—I could feel the new vampire strength in her fingers. Our feet started quickly and soon we were up to speed. I was surprised—Bella was able to keep up with me even at my fastest.
I needn't ask where we were going—our legs carried us toward an old familiar area of the forest. We saw the light at the same time; I felt Bella's grip on my hand tighten.
When we reached the meadow, we lay in the middle, directly beneath the sky. We didn't mind that it was still raining, although I was worried for Bella in only a blouse and jean capris. We rested in each other's arms, her head tucked beneath my chin and our legs entwined.
I realized that for some reason I could now hear her thoughts, but I courteously blocked them out. I wasn't sure if this was a good time for questions, but there were too many burning the tip of my tongue to hold back.
"Bella?" I whispered through the crashing thunder above us.
"Yes?" her sweet voice answered me.
"Why…" My thoughts raced on how to ask this delicate question—the most important. "How are you a vampire?" She had to know it would be coming sooner or later.
"So you're accepting it?" I could hear the grin in her voice.
"For now—maybe. If you tell me a believable explanation." I tried my best to sound threatening.
"What happens if I don't?" Bella mocked me. "Will you not believe me? Will you lock me up and throw away the key because I'm a lunatic?" Even though her tone was light, I knew she was not-so-casually trying to find a way to avoid the subject.
"Bella, please…" I breathed into her ear. Her wet body shuddered in the rain, water droplets falling from her long hair and sliding down her arms.
"You'll be very angry," she warned.
"I'll be angry no matter when you tell me, Bella," I reasoned with her. The dreaded feeling in my gut began to twist me even further.
"I know." Bella sat in silence for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts. I couldn't help myself—I had to peek; I unblocked my mind from her thoughts.
What I found was surprising. "I can't hear your mind anymore," I told her wonderingly. The disappointment was apparent in my voice.
"I know," she teased. "That's my special ability."
I didn't understand. "What is?" I asked.
Bella smiled and shook her head, sending a wave of her new, magnificent scent over me. The sensation was just as alluring as her human scent—but not in a bloodlust sort of way. In a completely different sort of way altogether—the way a man should want a woman.
"Your inability to hear my thoughts." My silence let Bella know I was still misunderstanding her. "I can choose who is able to effect me," Bella went on. "Since I don't want you to read my thoughts right now, you can't. If in a few minutes someone came along and I wished to keep our conversation private, you would be able to hear my thoughts again."
"Wow." I realized how wonderful of a gift that would be to have. Of course my Bella would be the one to receive it—no one was more special than her. "Does this work for everyone?" I wondered.
"Well, I haven't exactly tried it on everyone," she teased, "but I'm pretty sure it does, yes. It's worked on all the vampires I've fought off so far."
I felt my grip on her tighten automatically. "All of them?" I choked out. "Exactly how many vampires have you been fighting while I was away?" Bella's thoughts opened unexpectedly.
"Only one; you," she remembered sadly. It broke my frozen heart. I tried to hear more, but she closed her mind to me once again.
"It was a joke, Edward," she laughed softly. "I haven't been fighting any vampires. Relax."
I only brushed my lips over her jaw line as a response. I didn't like the idea of Bella being on her own, fighting vampires, struggling to drink from only animals. Suddenly I was worried.
"Did you ever drink from…" I paused slightly, not wanting to sound inconsiderate. I wasn't sure how sensitive Bella was on the subject of her lost life. "…a human?" I finished.
"Not once," she told me joyously. She was so proud of herself that I couldn't help but to be ecstatic right along with her. My mouth bent to meet with her forehead, kissing her tenderly where her divine mind lay beneath.
"You're amazing," I told her. I knew how hard it was for a vampire to resist humans, especially right after one had been changed. Jasper had enough trouble even today, with our whole family helping him stay strong. I couldn't fathom Bella's self control. Alone, only just changed; it couldn't have been more than five months she had been one of us. How had she done it? After first changing, the difference in intensity of our senses is frightening. Vampires are much more advanced with all sensations—they arrive much stronger. I was contemplating how powerfully Bella must have felt about restraining from human blood when she spoke.
"Edward, what are you thinking about?" Her gorgeous features were worried.
"Look how the tables have turned," I chuckled, remembering the question that usually came from my side of the conversation.
Bella grinned and rolled her eyes. "But really—what's with the look?"
"What look?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
"The"—she made an impression of my expression before, showing worry and astonishment—"look." I couldn't help bursting out in laughter.
"Edward!" she cried, pushing me lightly on the shoulder. I pulled her back in, her head under my chin and my nose buried in her dripping hair.
"I was just in awe," I replied simply. "You obviously know now how attuned a vampire's senses are, and when you were hunting for the first time I'm surprised you didn't take down all of Forks," I joked. "Especially since you were alone." My voice held traces of wonder and pride. My beautiful Bella was not only the most astonishingly, wonderfully gorgeous vampire I'd ever laid eyes on, but it seemed she was in the running for the most powerful as well.
She stiffened in my arms as I commented about her lone situation. "Edward?" she whispered.
"Yes, my love?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to know what she felt she needed to be so guarded about.
"I… I wasn't exactly alone." Bella shifted beneath my arms in discomfort. What did she mean, she wasn't alone? Had she found someone new to love? That didn't coincide with what she had told me earlier.
"You weren't alone?" I confirmed. She nodded her head, her chocolate hair brushing my chin and neck. "Well, who were you with?" My voice shook unconsciously.
Bella hesitated; her breath drew in but not out. I could feel her mind in the works even if I couldn't hear the beautiful voice that accompanied it. "I was with Carlisle."
"Huh?" you think. I do not blame you. I think "huh?" myself. Like I think it to myself right now as to why I ended this chapter the way I just did. I was getting tired of writing and if I really ended this where I wanted to--then it would basically be another few days until I had it posted. So I apologize. :D Tell me what you think! R&R! Bring me cookies!