Disclaimer: I still don't own Charmed, but I think that, with all the great stories out there in the net: Charmed should belong to every one of you more than any TV-boss, really. They may have the copyright, but the soul belongs to us!
A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews! Keep at it!
A/N: 22/6/2007: Chapter is now fixed! Thanks Rachel!
Chapter two: No escape …
"Chris...CHRIS!...!" Phoebe yelled while shaking her violently screaming young whitelighter awake. "Come on now, wake up- you're safe, just wake up please!"
The eyes of the heavily panting boy fluttered open. Chris needed some time to recognize where he was. As he became aware that Phoebe had witnessed a part of his dream he winced. Had she recognized the "brother-thing"?
Oh goodness, the last thing he needed right now was another interrogation!
His screams must have been heard not only by his aunt, but also outside of the room. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the Halliwell-bunch chose to join in too.
He immediately backed away on the couch. What should he say now? How would he explain the heavy nightmares about his past that he had been having for weeks now? Chris felt that in this weak state of stress and sleep deprivation he would not stand the questioning. He would spill out his secret sooner or later.
Maybe Phoebe would not ask?
Yeah right, dream on Christopher! This is your aunt Phoebe, the nosiest person ever seen in history!´
The expression on her face told the boy that she would defend her title tonight. He could already see the questions on her face.
She would ask for sure!
So Chris did the first thing that came into his mind.
Just as Phoebe opened her mouth to question him, the young whitelighter orbed away.
Chris found himself up at the place that gave him some space to think and eventually some peace for his troubled mind.
The wind up on golden gate bridge blew only slightly but cold and in the air was the moist of the sea.
He sat down on the cold steel and leaned against a large steel-strut.
High up above the sparkling lights of the sparse night traffic below, he looked out over the far city, which seemed to be asleep and only lightened by the starry chains of the street lamps. This picture was so peaceful, so calming.
The images of the nightmare faded slowly.
This wasn't a place to survive in. This was a place to live.
He smiled a sad smile at the thought of a carefree life in this city along with his family. Or what the Halliwells would call "a carefree life"… and his smile widened.
He once knew this life. As a child he was surrounded by all the love and care his crazy, very special family could give.
And there had been a lot of love…
…now there was only hate and neglect. Was this his destiny, to make everyone hate him sooner or later?
Was trying his best not enough?
Slowly Chris´ warm thoughts of home collided with the harsh present reality.
Dampness soaked his thin shirt which made him feel ice cold, and he began to shiver slightly. What he thought would keep him awake only made him drowsier. Soon he wasn't able to keep his eyes open anymore. He felt his eyelids slowly closing.
Chris attempted to stay awake. He could not fall asleep on a bridge, no way! But he had not the strength anymore to orb away or at least simply to open his eyes again.
The need for sleep and the exhaustion overcame the fears of his dreams…..
…..there he was again!
Back at the place he swore he would never return to. The spot so filled up with fear, pain and bare desperation, that he thought it must have self exploded by the power of emotions.
The demon had at least brought the badly injured and unconscious young whitelighter into one of Wyatt's high security cells, which meant no orbing, no powers and - no escape !
But the messed up boy, who was lying stretched out on the hard steel floor, was so totally exhausted, that the demon could have left the door open without any attempt of escape from the kid.
Chris had literally used all of his remaining powers to the decline for his last strike.
The demon eyed the boy he had delivered to his undoubtedly terrible fate tonight.
He could be only 16... at most 17 years old. But the aura that was around him even in this weak state was the one of a grown up man, a warrior even.
For a short time he was worried the boy's low breathing would stop completely.
Seconds of intense staring at his chest went by, till he could recognize a slow up and down of the whitelighters chest again.
The demon left the cell to report to his lord.
The prey he had delivered was alive, so he knew that he and his family would survive this night too.
Later that night, as Chris reached consciousness again he kept his eyes closed. He didn't need to see who was sitting beside him, waiting for him to wake up—
Wyatt!
He gave himself some time to assess his current state. After the first careful attempt to simply tense his muscles, he felt his worst suspicions painfully verified. He was indeed very seriously injured and, in addition to that, as powerless as a new born baby.
There was no way to stop the inevitable, so he slowly opened his emerald green eyes and looked straight into the now steel-grey cold eyes of the thing that he´d once known as his brother.
Seeing his little brother in such a miserable state, Wyatt felt the strong urge to put him into a soft and warm bed and to heal him immediately.
The - in the last year grown up, but in his opinion still too feeble - boy, who was now lying crouched before him, looked so pale, so fragile. It had to break everyone's heart just to look.
Wyatt's frames softened by this thought and he got lost in some long buried childhood memories.
Soon his vision blurred and his face hardened again.
This wasn't his baby brother in need – this was a member of the resistance, someone who Wyatt believed deeply would kill him on the spot, if given the opportunity. This dirty little traitor earned no mercy.
But something - one strangely soft and tiny something inside of him, insisted to stop his cruel thoughts.
It told him, that he was going to hurt the one he loved the most, in this crazy lonely world.
Wyatt was surprised about his odd feelings.
I thought I had overcome this stupid little thing a long time ago!´
But the annoying thing called heart was very persevering.
He would have to take care of this stinging little problem in the near future!
As Chris locked eyes with the black dressed man he formally knew as his brother, his empathic side was suddenly overwhelmed with a huge amount of feelings.
Love, hate, fear, confusion…………..all of Wyatt's feelings overcame him at the same time and he had no strength left to build up an effective blockade. Everything crashed down hard into his brain and began literally to scream in his mind.
"Save him! Kill him! You love him! Make an end to this little brat! NO! YES! KILL!"
Chris´ head seemed to explode. He had to end this!
Chris screamed until his throat wasn't willing to form the slightest sound anymore. He pressed his hands hard on his temples as the feeling his head would burst grew stronger and stronger!
He gathered his strength for one last desperate scream: "STOP IT NOW WYATT!"
…
Leo was sitting next to the charmed ones young whitelighter on the golden gate bridge.
Phoebe had called him in concern for Chris.
She had told him that she'd seen Chris getting attacked by a demon. The witch was not sure at all, if she had seen the past of the boy or had a premonition. There were only fragments that had flashed through her mind and she had not been able to make out anything specific.
Leo had sensed for the youngster, who was, much to his surprise, not blocking him as usual. So he had orbed to the bridge, not quite concerned but willing to talk to Chris, and to bring the stubborn boy to his senses again.
There was no way the whitelighter could let his personal life influence his job to protect the charmed ones, and most especially, Wyatt! He had to fulfill his duties.
As he saw the crouched up, miserable looking form of the whitelighter, he couldn't yell at him anymore. The boy seemed to be fast asleep. Remembering how tired and exhausted Chris had been for the last few weeks, he decided to give him some more minutes of peaceful sleep and to guard over him so that he didn´t fall from the small space he lay on.
He sat down beside him and his thoughts began to wander around…… he reflected about the many times he knew Chris had been sitting secretly besides Wyatt's bed to protect him, the same way Leo as doing now.
Shame overcame him as he thought that that should be his job. A father's duty. But the stupid elders wouldn't let him leave him upthere´ all that often.
Without any complaints, Chris did more than he had to do, and how badly he was thanked for it ….
Now Leo became really ashamed. But the notorious little smart ass did in response to that practically everything to bring the family up against him. Why did he always have to be so stubborn and chilly?
Suddenly Chris started to writhe and kick in his sleep. Leo was alarmed!
Going through a nightmare when you´d fallen asleep on a bridge was a really bad idea, not to say that it could be the last thing you ever did.
For Leo's sense of security this was getting far too dangerous now.
He tried to wake the boy with no effect; Chris was completely out of it. So Leo took Chris into a tight hug around his shoulders to prevent him from falling to his death in his restless sleep.
For the first time Leo became aware how frail the young man was. Deep down he felt that he had to protect him, no matter how angry the dismissive behaviour of the kid made him.
But instead of feeling the safety Leo´s hold gave him, the boy started to scream and struggled even harder. In a desperate attempt to protect his head from hearing whatever was beeing said in his dreams he tried to get away from the firm grip, so he could cover his ears. His arm crashed hard into a steel beam.
Leo just strengthened his hold as he heard Chris´ screams:
"STOP IT NOW WYATT!"
With this he woke up startled.
"Why should I stop Christopher, we haven't even started…!"
Wyatt's words resounded in Chris ears. He felt a hot throbbing pain in his head and was so engaged in the desperate attempt to suppress the thundering roar in his ears that it took some more time to realize that there was something wrong with his right arm. As he moved it unconsciously at this thought, an enormous keen pain started to race from his forearm upwards right into his shoulder.
What happened here? Where was he? His mind asked as Chris slowly became more aware of the situation he was in.
Half awake, half captivated in his nightmare he tried to get away from his supposed captor.
Leo eased his grip carefully as he thought that Chris might be awake enough to take care of himself again.
For what seemed an eternity for Chris, Leo just looked at him, while the kid stared unfocused into the distance.
Both of them were uncertain of where to go from here. So Leo tried to make a first move.
"That must have been one hell of a nightmare!"
"Yep!" Chris answered simply while he carefully supported his aching arm.
"Wanna talk about it?" Leo asked hopefully.
"Don't think so", stated Chris with his common calm emotionless mask. How he hoped Leo wouldn't recognize the pain he was in. The last thing he wanted was pity. He couldn't bare pity at the moment!
For Chris´ relief the elder didn't notice the smallest indication. His almost life long practice in hiding his pain and weak-points from Wyatt had finally come in handy.
Quite in the reverse Leo felt that Chris' stubbornness was starting to annoy him, but then again he remembered the picture of the frail helpless kid that he had held just a few minutes ago, he tried to retrieve the feelings which had overwhelmed him then.
So he started another attempt to get the boy to talk.
"Let me tell you what I think about your situation."
"I'd prefered the silence, if you asked me!" Chris replied as a last effort to distract Leo from the subject.
However he went on anyway.
"I think this job over-exerts you completely! So we should relieve you from this burden.
I mean look at you: Your constitution seems to be more then bad.
The main duty of a whitelighter should be to keep his charges alive, but your aim should also be to keep yourself alive. I think we elders made a mistake to burden you with such overwhelming responsibility." Leo said, now in honest concern.
Chris however recognized only one essence of the speech: Leo was abandoning him - again!
His answer was appropriate: "You mean I'm too weak! I'm not worth it!"
"Don't be moody, we will find a solution for your problems!
I mean you're what? Nineteen or twenty?
Maybe in a few years …"
The problem was that there were not a few years left. The time to find whatever turned Wyatt was melting away. His family wasn't even aware that his mission was not only to protect Wyatt, but to save the entire world from the evil tyrant Wyatt might become if he failed to save him. Let alone that his family wasn't even aware that they were his family.Phoebe couldn't have found out the "brother-thing", because then Leo would know of it by now. She simply wasn't able to keep any secret.
Chris had confided his secrets to no one in the past, and now his decision to keep it his own seemed to be backfiring.
"You can't be serious, Leo! You think I can't fulfil my duties?
When did you last look in the mirror?
You don't seem to be very successful neither as a father nor as an elder. Goodness you don't even know what you are! You failed even in that simple decision!"
And once more Chris had reached the intended effect, leading away the focus from himself and his well protected secrets.
Leo was angry, and the fact that Chris was right made him even angrier.
This little lay-about whitelighter knew absolutely nothing about him. Who was he to judge him?
At this moment, it was hard to remember his elderly pacifist side.
So what had started as a low-key but earnest approach between the both of them had ended like almost every talk between Leo and Chris: With anger and misunderstanding.
Leo did the first thing that came to his mind at the moment, he orbed away.
"Like father like son" Chris muttered as he was once again alone.
Was it time to reveal the truth? Would they really take away his only possibility to change everything, his whitelighter job? His mission was in danger, all the people that had laid their life trustfully in Chris' hands; he could not let them down.
'Ok you have to find a way to get rid of these dreams! So what could be the cause for your nightmares?
Think, Christopher Halliwell!'
It wasn't exactly easy to think about how to solve problems that affected his whole mission, while the pain in his for sure broken arm intensified with every passing second.
Chris tried to push the pain aside - as he had done countless times before - and focussed on the real problems.
"Maybe the time-line in my mind is disturbed because of the time travelling, and my head tries to keep things in order by replaying how things should stick together?"
But the dreams often came at a random sequence.
Or his head was not able to find the right way to store his now confirming new-memories which were settled in his past. His linear time-order system seemed to be getting converted into some sort of drawer system, in which his mind ordered his main life experiences and memories anew and put them in said system while he was sleeping.
How long should this be going on, and was he right with his suspicions?
Or was he really and seriously going to loose his mind?
"Yeah, time for the shrink now!" Chris thought and with a smirk he added
"If I reconsider about my whole family…this could become a good old family tradition!
"The Halliwell wing for magical madness, at the psychiatric hospital of San Francisco." Thanks to the greater good: They seem to have indeed a lot of humour to let us all run around free!"
It felt good to have a little bit of bantering around even if it was only with himself.
"Oh, oh! Evidence number one for the shrink-theory: The test-subject is making jokes with himself!
OK, all kidding aside. Focus Chris…!"
He had to proof that he could do it, that they needed him he simply had to!
He would overcome this stupid sleeping problem, and he would be the best whitelighter ever seen.
Perhaps he would have to tell the sisters the truth... or some of the truth at least.
He hoped that there would be a possibility to show the sisters his loyalty and determination. It was time to risk everything.
"This is going to be truth or dare Chris, or maybe even both?"
Chris didn't know how fast his chance would come….
TBC…