I didn't allow myself to speak, to breathe, to even think. Bella had been with… Carlisle? How was this even possible? I was sure it wasn't.

I glanced back to the breathtaking vampire lying in my arms; her eyes were careful with remorse. I could tell she had predicted my reaction to this news. Or maybe Carlisle had told her what he suspected I would do. It seemed he knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"So," I started casually, "what were you doing hanging out with Carlisle?" I couldn't hide the tint of menace in my voice as I went on. "Did you two have a nice chat while I was away? Decide you couldn't wait for my return before you reached eternal damnation?"

Bella flinched, letting her eyes close. "It wasn't Carlisle's idea—please don't be angry with him." She shivered. "Plus—how was I supposed to know you were even coming back at all?"

"Bella, if you knew me at all"—I noticed quick anger flash through her topaz eyes—"You would know I can't live without you. How many times have I told you that?" I touched my cold fingertips to her cheeks—no longer warm.

"Edward," she pleaded, "Stop." I followed her command with my words, but my fingers continued their trail down her lovely face. "You made me believe you were never returning, that there was no hope. No matter how deep I looked into your eyes I could see no trace of a lie—so I let you leave. My life was over when you went anyway."

I couldn't stand to hear that. "That doesn't make it right that Carlisle did this to you!" I growled.

"Edward!" Bella cried from my stone grasp, "He didn't do this to me!"

My mind raced. If not Carlisle, then who? Victoria? Alice? I'd kill them both. "Who?" I choked out—my voice so low I could hardly hear it; I knew she could.

"Just let me explain first, please," Bella asked softly. It was the least I could do. I only nodded my head, encouraging her to go on with her story.

"After you left, I was… not myself," Bella started tentatively. "I fell away from the world—Charlie even noticed, it was that bad," she let out a shaky laugh, although the smile didn't reach her eyes. I only stared at her sadly, my icicles of fingers tracing the outline of her luscious lips.

"I felt so alone. There was no one I could talk about you to, obviously." She waved her hand at my vampire self, "so I didn't talk to anyone. There was nothing I thought of besides you." Bella caught my fingers on her cheek, holding them to her face tightly. "You hurt me, Edward," her whisper broke. I could cry. I opened my mouth, but she held my finger up to her lips in a quiet motion. "I know you were trying to do what you thought was right. I thank you for that." Bella's sad eyes did not look thankful, however.

"There was someone who realized how hurt I was. Just when I was about to go over the edge, they returned to me. They helped me realize I didn't need to do anything… rash." My throat burned when I realized my love had almost hurt herself—her perfect, angel self—because of something I had done.

"Bella," I choked out, but she shook her head once again; I could feel her thick hair tickling my arm.

"Edward, it's really my fault, this," she motioned to her delicious vampire body. "No matter how hard my friend tried, they were unsuccessful in giving me hope to go on without you. I know I was stubborn, but I knew I couldn't. Finally, they realized it too." My brow scrunched in confusion. Why was she still keeping her friend's identity a secret from me?

"So they decided to agree to my begging and pleading—what I had been asking ever since they'd returned to me." I felt Bella breathe deeply, her cool, sweet breath on my chin and neck. "They changed me."

"And what good did they possibly think could come of that?" I demanded, my eyes flashing with annoyance at her "friend."

"I wanted anything to be closer to you," my love said, her careful voice very small. "I told you it's my fault—I convinced her to do it."

Her, I heard over again in my mind. "Was it Alice?" I growled, pulling Bella closer to me.

"Edward, please. You're not listening to me," she pleaded, her voice swaying. I met her gaze with my own, willing her to continue.

"After she changed me…" Bella paused; it seemed she was struggling for words. "She didn't stay with me like she had promised." I felt a low rumbling form in my throat, but Bella went on, "she felt awful; Carlisle told me that much. She realized what she had done. Her guilt for changing me went far beyond anything else she had felt before, so she ran. I don't blame her, Edward."

I shot a look at her, but she rebutted it quickly, "Don't. You don't know how long I had asked her to change me. If every hour of every day of every month you were being asked, wouldn't you get worn down?" My anger subsided, but only slightly.

We sat there a few minutes staring at each other. Finally, I spoke. "So, who was it?"

She stilled, not even breathing. I noted quietly how different it was to not be able to see her blush when she was embarrassed, or feel her heart rate race when she was anxious. It seemed I would need to learn to read her all over again; that is, if she decided to keep her mind closed to me most of the time.

I felt Bella's fingers reach out to find my hand; she brushed it lightly and grabbed hold, bringing it up to her lips and kissing my palm. "Don't get angry," she whispered. I nodded, although I already knew that was a lie. I would be furious, no matter whom it was. Bella had been mine to change; it was going to bring us together, to make us one. I would have been able to control myself. I felt it now, even if I hadn't back then.

Then she spoke, her words perfectly articulated in her amazingly alluring voice. "Esme changed me."

Such corny endings to my chapters. :D Anyway, I'm SO sorry for how long this took to get up! I've been studying like a mad woman for my AP test tomorrow--I just had to take a break to finish this one. Sorry it's short. :( Anyway, please review, and maybe I shall get a new one up sooner!