In The Distant Future

By caramelapples

Chapter 12

Bill watched his precious hour old daughter and sighed a sigh of relief and content. His heart was bursting with joy at the thought of being a father but his mind was worrying over other things, such as Laura. She had fallen asleep not to long after Baby Laura was born. The infant moved a little, and stretched her arms. Bill placed a hand on the warm plastic of the incubator, smiling widely and wishing at the same time that he could touch her. She was small but her eyes were already distinctly like her mother's features.

He had decided right now and then that he would spend every waking moment of his with Laura and their child. He thanked the gods for putting Laura and Baby Laura out of danger. He felt a hand on his shoulder and was glad to see Lee with Kara behind him.

"Dad, is that her?" Lee asked, knowing fully well that the baby was his sister but feeling the need to get a real answer. Bill nodded and couldn't help but smile at his son. "Hi, there," the younger Adama said, bending down a little. "I'm your big brother, little sis." He beamed. "Is Laura okay?"

"Yeah, yeah she's all right." Bill took one last glance at his daughter and turned to his son.

"Tyrol and Cally are here. They have Nicky with them. And Cottle is here as well," Lee said and looked at Kara who was looking quite hopeful. Of course she was looking hopeful. They all had to look hopeful when hope was presented, didn't they?

Bill clenched his jaw to prevent himself from crying out in relief. There was a chance that his Laura was going to be all right and he thanked the heavens and stars for giving him that chance. Please let this work… Please let this work… Please let this work… It became his mantra for the moment when he prayed over and over again. Dear Lords, please let my Laura live…

Bill watched almost helplessly when Laura's eyes widened with shock and anger as Cally and Tyrol appeared at the doorway. They had their son with them and she felt as though she was an antagonist in a tragedy. It gave her the most sardonic feeling in her stomach. She turned a glare, weak as her body might have been, at Bill and then at Lee and Kara but then finally, her glare returned to Bill.

"You promised." Her statement was shocking, not from its words but the amount of ice it contained. Ice that had not been present for such a long time. Bill was surprised at how much her words could be cold if she willed them to be. He reached out for her hand and took it into his, gripping it so that she would not be able to pull away if she intended to. "You promised not to do this!" Her harsh whisper was not lost on the rest of the people present in the room. They slipped out discreetly and left Bill and Laura alone, remembering their legendary disagreements back when she was President and he was Admiral. The situation would have been quite entertaining to watch had it not been a disagreement over something quite as painful as it was.

"Laura, please understand. I cannot do this without you! I am not prepared for you leaving me, not when our baby-Gods have you seen her? Laura, have you seen her?" he asked in frustration when she looked away. "She's beautiful and she's perfect and she needs her mother!"

"No! Not like this!" she said, biting her lip.

He resisted the urge to grab her shoulders and shake some sense into her when she refused to look at him. Bill cupped her cheek and made her turn at him. "She needs you," Bill said quietly, his heart breaking at her sorrow. "I need you."

She took a sharp breath and held his hand on her cheek. "Bill…" It was a silent plea and he refused to acknowledge it. She stopped fighting her tears and allowed them to run their course. "I'm afraid."

"It'll be all right," he soothed her, internally jumping with joy at her reluctant approval.

"No, Bill. What if this doesn't work?"

"It will," he said with so much more conviction than he felt.

Laura almost laughed at herself, at how she was feeling. "You don't know that. What if it doesn't work and I die?"

He started to speak but she cut him off.

"Listen to me, Bill. What if this doesn't work? If I try this, there is no guarantee that it will work. If it does, I'll be the happiest woman here. But what if it doesn't? What if something goes wrong and I die now instead of a few months time?" She had voiced her fears to him and hoped that he understood. "I'd rather have guarantee of a few months than risk dying if it doesn't work."

Bill gently took both her hands in his. "You won't die. Not now. Not after you just gave me the most precious gift. I won't let you."

"Bill…"

"Laura, if something goes wrong and-" He couldn't bring himself to say the words but they both knew what he meant. "If that were to happen, you will know that you did it for everyone you loved, our baby." Every single one of us. "Our child Laura. She's what you have to live for. You're what I'm living for. If you die, I can't go on." Can't you see that I love you so much? "If I can't go on, what would happen to our baby?"

"No." She shook her head, the tears showing no sign of ever stopping.

It only served to break his heart and send such a feeling of rage through his body that he feared it was visible to her. "Godsdammit Laura! You're a selfish coward who refuses to fight, even for her child!" he suddenly snapped, through clenched teeth and dropped her hands. Damned you, Laura! I hate you because I love you! Oh gods, I love you.

He detected fear in her eyes but was too blind to anything but his own fear of losing her prevented him from doing anything differently. Laura had never before seen him so out of control of his emotions and trembled under his suddenly intense glare, staring at him with shock and surprise that he could ever say something like that.

"You are not the woman I thought you were," he added, regretfully.

Immediately, she recoiled and pushed him away. "Get out," she said, staring at him with no emotions present in her eyes. You are not the woman I thought you were… "Did you hear me? Get out!"

He didn't hesitate as he stood up and left the room. Laura let herself cry when he was gone and tried to make as little noise as possible. Somehow crying hysterically seemed too tiring now.

You are not the woman I thought you were.

That had stung her and she responded by recoiling like a spring. She went over the day's events. Cally, Tyrol, Lee, Kara and-oh Lords-even Cottle. They were all there and they were all helping to keep her alive. Why was she so afraid to take that chance? Why did she fear it so much when it could offer her more time with her family?

It was the fear of failing, her mind responded all too quickly. No matter, she thought. She would do it. She would have to apologize to Bill. He had been right. She was a coward. And she was selfish.

She leaned back into her pillows and looked out the window. It had been snowing ever since Laura was born. She smiled a small smile. She was right. It was waiting for something. The snow angels had come down to play and was watching over her and her baby, her mind told her. Ridiculous, she knew. But so very comforting and she fell into the deep softness of slumber.

The next time she woke up, Bill was sitting by her bedside and fully awake. He smiled and looked straight into her eyes. She blinked a few times and tried to sit up but he helped her by holding her shoulders and propping the pillows up so that she had better support.

"Good morning," he said, sitting and tucking a stray hair behind her ears. "I sent everyone else back to the cabin."

"Did you sleep?" she asked, quietly.

"I prefer watching you sleep. You're very adorable when you sleep, you know that?"

"Bill, I-"

"About last night, I'm sorry," he told her, warmth radiating from his eyes.

"I thought about what you said-" she started but he stopped her.

"When I said that those things, I… Don't think about what I said. You're more than I could ever imagine you were, and I'm sorry I said you were selfish. I wasn't thinking," he explained, regretting the moment he walked out of that door and left her crying. He had never felt more like an idiot than the moment he raised his voice at her and she was trembling. He hated himself for making her afraid. His sweet Laura. After all that she's been through.

"I'll do it." The firmness in her voice told him that she was serious.

He grabbed her hand, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "You'll do it," he stated as though he had just won a war. Perhaps he had.

"Yes, I will. I want to live for you, for our baby. And if it doesn't work, I'll know that I have tried." She leaned in and he took her into his embrace, joining her on the hospital bed. "And if it kills me, if this attempt kills me, I want you to know that I love you and our baby."

"I know that, Laura. I love you too," he told her and kissed her forehead. "I am not going to lose you now, more than ever. Not now."

She buried her face into his shoulder. You won't…Dear Lords, please give me this chance to live. For Bill, for my baby and for myself.

To be continued…

A/N- I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I had been busy with exams and all. But now that I'm back, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As usual, reviews and feedback are very appreciated! So please leave reviews and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!