Disclaimer: If I was JK, the books would be called 'Ron and Hermione and the fluff mountain'. Harry and Ginny would only have walk on parts.
A.N. Thank you to my wonderful reviewers. I love you all! Cookies to everyone. Good ones, not fake, healthy cookies.
Ron stormed over to the bathroom, wrenching the door open. 'I can't believe you're throwing that in my face!' he roared 'Do you think I asked to be born a pureblood? That stuff means nothing to me, you know that, Hermione!'. Hermione scowled. 'Do I? Let's think. You insulted my parents, said all muggles are bad news, and currently have a memory in your mind I'd rather not be there, but you kept it, knowing it's making me uncomfortable!'
Ron glared at her 'Why are you suddenly acting as if I'm Draco sodding Malfoy? That's not me. I'm not prejudiced against muggles or muggleborns, and I certainly don't act like him! You know I'm not like him, do I look like a Slytherin to you? I've had you over to my house every holiday since second year! Don't you DARE accuse me of that! I couldn't help being born pureblooded, so don't take your anger out on me. If you don't know that about me, Hermione, you know NOTHING about me'
'I know you're not like him. Did I say you were? Do you think I would spend a second alone with you if I thought you were? I wouldn't have come to your house even once if you acted like him. The fact of the matter is that you just insulted my parents, and my bloodline! Apologise! You will NOT make this look like it's my fault' she shouted back stubbornly.
Ron threw his hands in the air. 'Fine! I apologise. I really didn't mean to insult your family, and certainly not your parents. I wouldn't dare, your dad scares the life out of me'. Hermione giggled against her will. 'Good. I don't know why my dad would scare you; he's a big softy really. He's always been very complimentary about you. For a wizard'
'He didn't act it when I floo'd over to your house last summer' Ron said cautiously 'He bellowed at me. He seemed to think I was, well, Draco Malfoy, Death Eater in training. I tried to be polite; I called him 'Sir' and everything!' Ron looked disgruntled. 'I know you tried, Ron, and I appreciate it' Hermione said calmly, walking over to him.
'He's like that with all wizards. Especially you and Harry; he's very suspicious of you two. Just because you're my best friends, he seems to think one of you will, oh, I don't know' she sighed. 'He really doesn't trust me. I suppose that's why he's been trying to set up all these 'alternatives''.
Ron looked angry. 'Bloody Hell 'Mione! If I knew he'd been that rude about wizards, I wouldn't have been on my best behaviour, I would have hexed him!' Hermione hit him gently on the arm 'Don't be stupid, Ron. How would that help improve his opinion of wizards?'. Ron shrugged. 'Dunno. Maybe he'd be impressed with a bat-bogey hex?' he asked hopefully.
'I don't think so' Hermione smiled. 'It's easier just to go along with the dinners, and count down the days until I can get back to Hogwarts. And you, of course'. Ron blushed. 'How about you stay a bit longer this holiday? Right until we come back? You'd be welcome, my mum adores you. I think she likes you better than me, actually' he offered.
Hermione grinned 'Seriously?' Ron nodded. Hermione threw her arms around him. 'Thanks, Ron! I'll send Pig to my parents tonight; they've gone to the Alps to ski again.' She rushed off to grab the tiny owl which was currently hooting contentedly on top of Ron's wardrobe, and attach a letter explaining where she would be to his leg. She tossed him out of the window, where he promptly got blown off, due to the fierce wind. She smiled 'Looks like it's going to take a few days'.
'I think I'll brush my teeth and this red mop, and be off to bed' she told him tiredly. 'Am I staying in here again tonight?' Ron asked, as Hermione came back into the bathroom. 'Of course' she looked oddly at him 'It's only two more nights, my reputation can't go any further down the drain. Besides, no-one who knows me will really think I'm collecting the list; Harry's the last one, supposedly, and we both know THAT'S not gonna happen'.
'Yeah, he's too busy drooling over my baby sister' Ron said scowling. Hermione grabbed a brush and began tearing it through her flaming hair. 'I think it's sweet! It's nice Harry's found someone, and Ginny's got someone who will treat her right. Merlin knows she's had more than her fair share of stinkers'. Ron looked slightly mollified. 'You think?' he asked, and Hermione nodded sincerely.
'Harry's too scared of you to do anything bad' Hermione told him, and Ron puffed his chest out proudly. 'Only looking out for her, you know, doing my duty' he said, and Hermione laughed. 'Don't get too excited; he's scared of this body, not just your temper. I really have no idea why, this body's very nice once you get used to it. And you're a kitten really, aren't you?' she smirked as Ron looked highly affronted.
'Besides' she continued 'Harry would never push Ginny, he's not like that. He's a cutie, though' she winked 'If Ginny's like the rest of us, she wouldn't need asking twice. That list's there for a reason'. Ron turned bright red. 'I think it might be a good idea if I stayed with the 'other' girls tonight' he said firmly, and snatched up his duvet, marching over to the door. He tried to open it.
''Mione, I can't open the door' he complained. She laughed. 'You saw me lock it! I'll open it, give me a second' She did as she said, holding it open for him. Ron hesitated. ''Mione, will you stay with me?' he asked, embarrassed. Hermione snatched up her duvet too. 'Of course I will, although I've no idea why on earth you don't want us to stay here tonight' she replied innocently. They went together down the stairs to the common room, where they found Seamus, Dean and Neville sat waiting patiently.
'Finally!' Seamus said exasperatedly, and ran up the stairs past them. Neville explained 'I don't know what you two were doing up there, but someone locked the door and put a silencing charm on! We've been waiting here for hours, you couldn't hear us yell' and he scuttled off to bed with the other guys. Hermione burst out laughing. 'I'd completely forgotten about that. Poor things'.
Ron didn't look so happy. 'Why wasn't Harry waiting down here? He'd better not still be with my sister. The wizarding world will need a new saviour. This one will be… indisposed'. Hermione grinned. 'Indisposed? My body's rubbing off on you! Look, I'll levitate myself up the stairs, if you guide me along. The stairs will turn into a slide in this body'.
Ron did as she said, pulling the floating Hermione by the hand up the stairs until they reached the top. Hermione flicked her wand, and landed heavily in a heap, clutching at Ron to keep her balance. 'Gerroff, 'Mione' Ron said in a muffled voice, and Hermione clambered up from him. 'Sorry' she apologised 'I guess I'm not quite used to this body yet'.
'Come on' she continued 'I know you're not going to be happy until you've seen Ginny's alone. It's the one on the left' Ron nodded gratefully, and headed over to the closed door. Hermione sighed, and started towards her own dorm. There were muffled voices coming from the room in front of him. Ron twisted the handle and walked in cautiously. 'Gin?' he asked, his eyes firmly on the floor.
'Oh, hi Herm' Ginny said in a relieved voice 'It's ok, Harry, it's only Hermione'. A sheepish Harry climbed out of her wardrobe. 'Sorry, Herm. We thought you might be Ron, or that idiotic pair from your dorm'. Harry bent down and kissed Ginny gently on the lips, reached out to hug 'Hermione', and headed towards the door.
He fell in shock when Ron slapped him hard across the face. Ginny shrieked. 'What am I supposed to have done?' Harry asked desperately. Hermione rushed in, startled by the noise. Harry groaned 'Oh, Gods. This is all we need'.
A.N. I am in no way a H/Hr shipper. Check my profile if you don't believe me. Pumpkin pie shipping is DELUSION, but I do like to tease poor, insecure Ron with it. Also I thought I would give a nice Halloween present to my reviewers, so that's two chapters in two days. That, and to apologise for the wait. Happy Halloween!