Chapter 8: Naruto Idol

Disclaimer: You no hungry fo owning Naruto, you hungry fo hotpockets! I don't own the rights to Naruto or characters or the commercial I just referenced. Cookie to the person who knows what I'm talking about.

Renji was woken up with the old dishpan and wooden spoon trick, meaning that he was beaten awake with a spoon after being beaten to sleep by the dishpans. Kiba would have gotten the other type of wooden spoon and dishpan banging treatment if he hadn't woken up and if Neko hadn't grabbed a knife in her semi-sleeping state. When Kiba awoke he was greeted by the sight of Neko holding a knife with a blank look her in her eyes as if she were under some mind control. The gleaming of the knife lighting up the dark room as it reflected the sun's light as she got closer and closer to Kiba, who didn't know what to do. Finally, Kiba couldn't take it anymore and he just had to scream what had been in his throat for so long.

"ZOMBIE," shouted Kiba at the top of his lungs, which snapped Neko out of her semi-sleeping state.

"Oh Kiba you're awake already and I was going…wait when did I get this," asked Neko moving the knife around as she tried to find the dishpan she had a second ago.

"Hey watch where you're moving that thing," shouted Kiba as he backed farther into the corner, but Neko was only getting closer. He was saved by Renji caught Neko's wrist.

"Get showered and dressed we're going out to eat," announced Renji who walked out of the room.

They had gone to a place that was rated highly for its breakfast cooking and it made the world famous omelets named after the great Yondaime who was the first person to try it out. Today, they were going to make an even better omelet that was going to be called the Naruto omelet. The restaurant looked more like a hotel, but it had first started out as a regular restaurant that looked a lot like an IHOP. Walking into the restaurant, the group was welcomed by the original chefs of the restaurant who all knew Naruto's father the Yondaime. As they were going to their table they saw a familiar face being escorted by the police.

"Hey wait a second, you're the author of this story aren't you," asked Naruto staring wide eyed at me.

"Yes I am," I replied.

"You were arrested for spitting in people's eggs weren't you," asked Neko, who knew that I spit in eggs, I spit in Kiba's egg after all. "Why do you always pretend you're a chef and spit in people's eggs."

"I spit in people's eggs because I find it personally amusing," I replied. "But I doubt that's the reason for me being arrested, I don't know why I'm being arrested, but I'm certain it has something to do with what I did last night."

After I was removed from the restaurant the gang was sitting down wandering if I was going to write more chapters or jus dick off. Well, here's the answer. Shikamaru was still semi-sleep (isn't he always) and was constantly being awoken by Temari, who had always wondered about why Shikamaru was so tired during the day. When the pancakes came it was an eat-off between Chouji, Naruto and Kiba because poor Rock Lee was too busy talking with Gai to notice that the food was being eaten. Renji stole some pancakes from the other table while the people weren't looking and then took his time eating and fighting off the forks of the others.

"Kiba you already have pancakes," said Renji with anger taining his voice.

"I do, but Neko doesn't," replied Kiba who was trying to get the pancakes on Renji'splate

"Get your own damn pancakes, moocher," said Renji. "These are mine and I'm going to eat them in piece so why don't you try giving up some of your pancakes or does winning this competition matter more than Neko's wellbeing."

Kiba knew than that he had a choice to make and so he gave Neko some of his pancakes causing him to lose the contest. That's when the omelets came out and they were extremely delicious, packed with onions, bell pepper, olives, steak, ham, and topped with a nice sauce. Naruto was glad to have something so tasty named after him.

"So what are you guys going to be doing today," asked Kiba with a mouthful of omelet.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full," asked Renji in an annoyed tone as he sipped his coffee.

"We're going to be getting the bands for Naruto's wedding," replied Marie with her trademark smile. "We have a lot of people joining us and we have Gaara-sama, Jiraiya-sama, and Kakashi-sama doing a few rap songs. I think they were going to do Ms. New Booty and then Shake. Kakashi and Jiraiya are going to be doing the Ying Yang Twins."

"So others can get in on this," asked Kiba looking at Neko. "What if I and Neko wanted to be a part of the entertainment? How do we get in on this?"

"I'll have you added to the list, but I'll need to have the song title," replied Marie. "Well Renji, don't you think we should be going out to set up everything up for the judging."

Renji was already gone with a note on the table that told her that he'd, meet her at the stage.

The judges for this were Marie, Naruto and finally, Gaara, both mimicking the show American idol with Marie as Paula Abdul (however you spell her name), Naruto as the other guy (I don't watch the show), and Gaara as Simon. Gaara was really lashing at people, using everything they had at fault against them to make them crack that would gain the envy of Simon Cowell himself. The first couple was tryiong to sing a Sunny and Cher song, which Gaara wasn't even a fan of to begin with and they weren't that great, but Gaara started cutting them down to size.

"If you went into a bar and sang everyone would leave," said Gaara coldly.

Then came the biggest surprise for the second band to go up was lead by none other than Renji, who was wearing a black sleeveless shirt that matched his black leather pants. The judges didn't know what to say, they didn't believe that Renji would actually make good on his promise to bring his band to tryout. The other contestants were angry seeing as how the man did work for the wedding planner, but when they saw her look at him with eyes that were examining his every move to see some flaw somewhere.

"Okay Renji what song are you going to be doing for us," asked Marie, a bit pissed that he hadn't told her about what he was going to be doing.

"Well Marie I thought I'd do the first song I sung to you," replied Renji with a wink. This threw Marie off because he was actually showing what looked like affection for her. "So here's Beware Criminal."

These are the lyrics to what Renji sang:

You crawl in bed Its three am You smell of wine and cigarettes A butterfly under the glass You are beautifulBut youre not going anywhere We do the same thing every night I swear Ive heard this song before A swimmer who has seen a shark I should really be more wary of the water You came you saw you conquered Everyone Im left here guessing What went wrong Yeah Im down but not ou tAnd far from done…hey all Beware! criminal

A prism With an intellect You throw your light selectively You stole my glow A seasoned thief The blacks of my eyes are turning into opals on I walk Theres nothing here left for me But empty promises And the thought of all the things Im never getting back You came you saw you conquered Everyone Im left here bleeding What went wrong Yeah Im down but not out And far from done…hey all Beware! Whoohoohoo...Beware, Criminal

Did you think, did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you think did you think did you really think I wouldn't care? Did you think, did you think I wouldn't notice?Did you think did you think did you really think I wouldn't care?

You came you saw you conquered Everyone Im left here bleeding What went wrong Yeah Im down but not out And far from done…hey all Beware! Whoohoohoo...Beware, Criminal

"Well that was impressive," said Marie with a smile and the other two judges nodded in agreement. "We will be seeing you at the wedding."

Naruto opened the door to see a man dressed in a vest and another man hiding under an umbrella do to the rain and the need for shade from foreign eyes. The man with a vest showed his oto village signature and then handed him a letter. Naruto opened the letter and immediately let his eyes move over the paper, taking in all its secrets and knowledge.

Dear Uzmaki Naruto,

I am writing this letter because of two things: 1) I have developed a jutsu that can bring people back from the dead with no strings attached, but the caster could die so I might not be at your wedding and 2) I have one person who I have to ask forgiveness from and I may die by his hands. Sorry for not making the wedding and I hope you like my new protégé.

Sincerely yours,

Orochimaru.

"Sow ho exactly did he bring back," asked Naruto as he looked at the man who was hiding under the umbrella. The man stepped out from under it and Naruto gasped as he saw the face of the person who he never thought he'd ever see again since he last saw it.