Disclaimer: I want Harry Potter! Actually, if I'm wishing for things I want Draco Malfoy, Ron and Hermione to spend the entire seventh book getting together, a Dark Mark, lots of chocolate and snow.
A.N. This chapter is dedicated to Broken Rain, who is also taking AS levels.
Hermione blinked awake, wondering where she was. She had vague memories of, uh, kissing Ron? That couldn't be right. It must have just been another dream. She sighed. Those were good dreams. Next she would dream that she turned over, and Ron would there, sleeping peacefully, with a blissful smile. She turned over, and did indeed see Ron there, albeit snoring like a chainsaw.
Hermione frowned. She had never dreamed about him snoring before. That must mean…it was real! She was in bed with Ron, and had memories of kissing him…oh God oh God oh God! Ron yawned, and smiled up at Hermione, unaware of the drama inside Hermione's head. 'Morning, 'Mione' he grinned, and slid out of the large bed they were sharing.
Memories of the previous night's events came rushing back to Hermione. She sighed in relief and, although she wouldn't admit it, disappointment. Ron was busying himself at the wardrobe that was near the bed, searching through it. He pulled out a girl's school uniform. 'Gah! I don't want to wear this. Do I have to, 'Mione?' he asked, eyeing the pleated skirt distastefully.
Hermione rolled her eyes. 'It's that or go in your pyjamas' she said. Ron looked thoughtful. 'NO! I was joking' she told him. Ron looked upset. 'I like my pyjamas, ''Mione! What would Harry say if he found out I wore a skirt?'. Hermione clucked her tongue, irritated. 'You wore my skirt on Saturday to seduce Malfoy, remember?'. Ron shuddered. 'I'd rather not, thank you. Besides, that doesn't count. That was just like dressing up. This is your uniform'.
'Dressing up?' Hermione sniggered 'Since when did you dress up in a skirt?'. Ron blushed. 'Since Saturday, remember?' he shot back. Hermione rolled out of bed and joined him at the wardrobe. 'It's not all fun and games for me, you know, Ron. I don't particularly like the idea of wearing a guy's uniform, but I have to do it. Unless you'd prefer I wore my own?' Ron scowled and snatched the skirt she was trying against herself.
'Fine, I'll wear the ruddy skirt' he growled 'I hope you know you're the only one I'd ever sink to wearing a skirt for'. Hermione laughed. 'What an honour! I shall exercise that right at every available opportunity'. She was hit in the face by a flying pair of trousers. 'This works both ways, remember' said a disgruntled Ron.
Hermione began to pull on the uniform, looking anywhere but down. Ron did the same, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He was grinning though; he had the memory, he didn't need to look down. Hermione scowled. ''Mione, help' he said weakly. Hermione glared over at him. Ron was holding a plain white cotton bra as if it was an alien object. 'You have to learn how to do that for yourself, you know' she clucked.
Ron just continued to look at her helplessly. 'Oh, come here' she said, though not crossly. Ron obeyed, and Hermione clipped his bra on for him. Ron shivered at her touch. 'There you go' she said, unaware of the quivering she was causing in her own body. Ron wandered back to the wardrobe and pulled on a shirt. 'Oi!' Hermione told Ron off 'I'll button that up, if you don't mind'. She came over and did up the shirt, her hands brushing her breasts as they went. Ron was struggling to breathe by the time she had done up his top button.
'It hurts, 'Mione. It's too tight' he complained, tugging the shirt away from his chest. 'Don't be silly, Ron' she said brusquely 'They're supposed to be like that. They can't be completely baggy, it'd look ridiculous'. Ron frowned, and pulled on the skirt. Hermione smirked at him. 'You look great, Ron. You should wear skirts more often after we switch back'. Ron stuck his tongue out at her.
'Ready to go to breakfast, 'Mione?' Ron asked as Hermione pulled her shoes on. 'No! Don't be disgusting, Ron. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet, and neither have you. I don't want people to think I go around with smelly breath'. Ron looked around stupidly. 'There's no bathroom, 'Mione'. Hermione sighed. 'I know there isn't. Have you got everything you need?' she asked, and Ron nodded. 'Good. Come on, we're going outside. When you get there, think bathroom thoughts' she told him.
Ron followed her out of the door into the corridor, where the door promptly disappeared. Ron stared as Hermione smacked back into the wall, trying to get back in quickly. He was about to tell her you needed to go past the door three times before it would open. Then he realised the reason for her haste.
Draco Malfoy quirked a perfect eyebrow at Ron, who shivered and nervously ran past the door saying 'Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom'. Eventually a handle appeared in the door and Ron rushed in after Hermione. They could hear laughter from outside. Hermione shook her head. 'That boy is asking for trouble. What's he doing here at this time in the morning anyway?' she went over to a sink behind a screen to brush her teeth.
Ron squeaked as he saw the handle turning. ''Mione?' he asked nervously. 'Just a minute, Ron' came the reply. Hermione's dental regime took rather a long time; she
would be quite a bit more than a minute. Ron reached for his wand, which was…not there. A ghostly pale hand snaked around the door crack, holding a willowy wand.
There was an almost silent whisper of 'Silencio!' and Ron felt the familiar sensation of his lips being sealed together. Draco Malfoy stalked carefully in, cast a body-bind on poor Ron, and began to drag him out of the door. Hermione was quite contentedly flossing her teeth, oblivious to Ron's plight behind the screen.
By the time they got out into the corridor, Ron was really getting worried. Draco shoved Ron against a wall, and began to whisper furiously in his ear. 'Listen, Mudblood' Ron's eyes clouded over with rage 'I don't know whether it's you or those stupid gossip queens in your dorm that have been spreading this, but there's been word going around that I was going to…degrade myself with you, but your blood traitor boyfriend stopped me.'
'Now' he continued. 'He's not here right now, is he?' he smirked 'So I'll make you a deal. This could be very bad for me if my father hears of this, so I don't want it getting any further, understand? You have to stay away from Slytherin, and Slytherins in general from now on, ok? Maybe Snape was just high spirits, but you have to stop! You'd better get some poor sap to pretend to date you, too, to add credibility to the story. Get that bloody fake pureblood, he'd do anything for you, the pathetic lovesick puppy. In return I'll make sure my father's friends will stay away from your parents, and I won't torture you into insanity…yet. Got it?'
With that, Malfoy glanced around, released a horrified Ron from the curses, and ran away. Ron lurched, feeling sick, back into the bathroom just as Hermione was coming around from the sink. 'It's free' she said cheerfully, then noticed the look on his face. 'Merlin, what happened?' she asked, rushing forwards to support Ron. 'Malfoy wants us to pretend to date until school breaks up' he said weakly. Hermione laughed.
'That'd just add so much confusion to this situation! Why would Malfoy want that anyway? He's never struck me as the matchmaker type' she giggled. Ron gulped. 'He doesn't want his father to find out about, uh, Saturday's incident. He says it will make his father angry, and if we don't, he's going after you and your parents'. Hermione's face drained.
'Well' she said briskly 'We don't have much of a choice then, do we? Actually, you do' she said downcast. 'I can't ask you to do that for me'. Ron smiled. 'Hermione, I've worn a skirt for you, attempted to seduce Malfoy, cat fought my ex-girlfriend, showered naked with you and kissed you last night. I can handle pretending to be your 'girlfriend''.
Hermione looked up at him 'You'd do that for me?' she asked unbelievingly. 'Of course' he replied 'You ought to know by now, I'd do anything for you, 'Mione'. Hermione threw herself into Ron's arms, slightly knocking the wind out of him. 'How on Earth are we going to convince Harry and Ginny for a whole two days?' he asked. 'No problem' she said 'That pair in my dorm will have made sure everyone in the house knows by now. All we have to do is at for two days and one night. Then we can tell Harry and Ginny the truth'.
With that, Hermione pushed Ron over to the sink to brush his teeth, silently thanking Draco Malfoy.
A.N. Woo! I have never gotten them out this fast. I'm having inspiration flash after inspiration flash. Please continue to review, they'll be lots slower from now on, I'm afraid. Sorry it's gotten a bit dark, but it'll lighten up, I promise.