Summary: DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.
Disclaimer: it walks alone, BritKit, Mordecai, flyonthewall, and freakinCRAZY are sitting at a table
it walks alone: (scribble scribble)
BritKit: (munch)
flyonthewall: (doing homework)
freakinCRAZY: So, IWA, you keep mentioning your "Lunch Bunch". Who are they?
IWA: (looks up) Hwa?
FC: (shakes head) You are hopeless. Who are your "Lunch Bunch"?
IWA: Oh, them. The people I sat with during lunch in eighth grade.
BK: What were they like?
IWA: (thinks) Well, the best time I can remember them was the first time I got killed at the lunch table...
Mordecai: O.o You got killed?
IWA: Yup.
(flashback begins)
IWA, Beary, Cygnus, Taro, and Kit are sitting at a lunch table
Seating arrangements: (windows to left)
Beary - Taro - Cygnus
Kit - empty - it walks alone
Taro: (gets up to throw out lunch tray)
Everyone else: (sits)
(silence)
Beary: (falls over) (hits window) Ow. (falls over in other direction) (head hits Cygnus' styrofoam tray)
(tray flies up to a 45º angle)
it walks alone: (is drinking) (cracks up, trying not to spray everyone)
Kit: Huh? (looks over) (cracks up)
Cygnus: Did we kill her? (cranes his neck, looking at IWA) Yup. We killed her.
B: (was cracking up) (cracks up harder)
K: (still cracking up)
IWA: (STILL cracking up)
K: Don't die!
IWA: (coughing into juice box)
T: (comes back) (stops) o.O I don't think I want to know...
K: No, you don't.
IWA: (still coughing)
B: (still fallen over) (points at IWA) Cygnus killed her!
IWA: (manages to stop choking) No, both of you did!
T: ...Um, can I have my seat back, Beary?
B: (head is still on Cygnus' tray) Huh? (realizes she's STILL fallen over) Oh, sure. (tries to sit up) (falls back onto Cygnus' lap)
All: (cracks up)
B: (tries AGAIN to get up) (finally manages to sit up straight)
T: (bows slightly) Arigato.
K: Stop speaking Japanese! You know none of us can understand it!
T: It means "thank you".
K: I know that!
B: Is she still dead?
All except IWA: (turns to IWA, who's bent over with her head on the table)
C: I think so. (pokes IWA)
IWA: I am NOT!
B: Oh. Okay then!
K: (points at Cygnus) I challenge you to a Random Joust!
C: Okay. Green ink!
K: American cheese!
C: Giant monkey face!
K: What the hell?
C: I win!
IWA: Whee.
B: (admires binder (on which there are many pictures of Spock)) Aren't Spock and Kirk cute together?
T: (inches away from Beary) (nearly falls off his seat)
Kit & IWA: (crack up)
C: (starts humming)
(flashback ends)
BritKit, Mordecai, flyonthewall, & freakinCRAZY: o.o
IWA: Yup. That was the first time I was killed at the lunch table. (thinks) Let's see.. The other one, Cygnus said something Cygnus-ish, and killed all four of us at once.
BK: Wait, Cygnus-ish?
IWA: Random and hilarious.
FC: Oh, you mean like Mordecai.
IWA: (thinks) Yeah, just about.
M: (stares) Beary's randomer than I am!
IWA: Randomer? RANDOMER? (leaps around table at Mordecai) USE NORMAL ENGLISH!
M: o.o (leaps up) (runs away)
IWA: (chases)
BK, FC, & FTW: o.O
FTW: Wow.
FC: Today must not be one of IWA's better days...
M: (runs by)
IWA: (chases, screaming "NORMAL ENGLISH!")
BK: (sweatdrops) (turns to readers) Anyway, IWA doesn't own FMA or DBZ. And hopefully never will.
IWA: (in distance) I HEARD THAT!
FC: So what happened to those people?
BK: (shrugs)
FTW: I dunno.
(paper airplane flies in, landing on table)
FC: (picks up airplane) (opens it) (notices there's something written on it) (reads) "Taro moved to New Jersey halfway through eighth grade. Beary, Cygnus, and Kit go to the other high school." (looks up) Well, that answers that question.
IWA: (runs by, still chasing Mordecai) You're welcome!
BK, FC, & FTW: (sweatdrop)
Review Responses:
Yami no Hikari-Chan: Yup. Amusing isn't it?
Vyrexuviel: ...I have no response to that.
SeaLover456: Continuing!
Suuki-Aldrea: ...Well, I haven't ever seen him NOT distracted by something during a battle...
ss5-gohan: Thank you for the compliment!
rosesRred16: Thanks!
"Speaking" Thoughts (Me to you)
Last time:
"...Well, that was..." He trailed off.
"Interesting?" Lust supplied.
Envy shrugged. "I was gonna say weird, but that works."
Chapter 3: Sinful Explanations
Somewhere above Central:
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
Cohan, carrying Ed, was flying through the air at normal speed for him (which was insanely fast for the poor Edo-kun) several hundred feet above very hard buildings that were probably made of cement. (Cement that Ed did NOT want to meed anytime soon.) And cringing from the screaming Ed.
"Calm down!" Gohan yelled. "If you keep screaming like that, I'm going to drop you!"
Ed shut up immediately.
Gohan sighed with relief. "Okay. Now where is the military hotel?"
"I DON'T KNOW! DO YOU THINK I'D KNOW THE AERIAL VIEW!" Ed exploded.
Gohan winced. "Sorry!"
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After checking where the Sins were and landing on the other side of the city, Gohan turned to Ed. "Okay, Ed. We're on the ground. Where are we?"
Ed looked around. "Good question."
Gohan sweatdropped.
"Oh, wait! I know where we are!"
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The two teens finally made it back to the military hotel.
"So who were those people? Or more to the point, what were they?" Gohan asked.
"Who, Envy and Lust?"
Gohan blinked. "Uhh... The one you were fighting and the woman."
"Envy and Lust. They're homunculi, named after the seven cardinal sins: Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Sloth, and Pride."
Gohan blinked, then snickered. "Well, if Vegeta were one, I know which one he would be."
Ed's eyebrow went up. "Oh?"
"Pride."
Ed rolled his eyes. "Obviously. Anyway, they're failed human transmutations."
Gohan stared. "Wait, transmutations? You mean they're products of alchemy?"
Ed nodded. "Yeah. Human transmutation is forbidden, and with good reason," he concluded sadly, turning his gaze to his right hand.
"So that's how you lost your arm and leg..." Gohan murmured.
"And Al his whole body," Ed agreed. He turned to Gohan determination shining in his eyes. "I will return Al to his real body, no matter what. No matter what."
Gohan nodded. "You will."
Ed looked up, hopeful.
"You're not alone. Never forget that." Gohan smiled and put his hand on Ed's shoulder. "You don't have to do this alone."
Ed smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Gohan. I needed that."
Gohan grinned. "Now, about these homunculi... Is there anything I should know?"
(A/N: I have no idea about 4 of the seven sins, since I've only read the manga. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! Please enlighten me as to the homunculi!)
Ed grimaced. "Well, the two you've met—Lust and Envy—are the two I usually see the most. Lust's claws can extend, and Envy's a shapeshifter."
Gohan blinked. "I'd figured that part out already."
Ed snickered. "Anyway, they have no souls and take joy in killing."
"Oh, so that's why they felt twisted. I get it."
Ed stared at Gohan strangely. "...Felt?"
Gohan looked up, confused. "Oh. Oops. I didn't explain that?"
Ed glared.
"Sorry," Gohan apologized, giving Ed a Sheepish Son Grin™. "Well, Saiyans can sense a person's energy. It's called 'ki. Each person's is different, so I can locate anyone I know just by finding where their ki is. It can also be suppressed so people don't notice you. Conversely, one can power up and make their ki stronger."
"Would anyone be able to tell if you were powered up?"
Gohan laughed. "Since I'm a Saiyan, and powering up includes going Super Saiyan, of course."
"Super Saiyan?"
Gohan nodded. "Yup. My hair turns blond and spikes up, my eyes turn turquoise, and the air around me lights on fire."
Ed's eyes widened.
"Also, powering up suddenly can act like an explosion." Catching sight of Ed's now-skeptical expression, the demi-Saiyan elaborated. "It's happened before. When Cell first powered up to full at the Cell Games, it nearly knocked me off my feet."
Ed's jaw dropped. "Wow... So, since you've met Envy, can you find him at any time?"
"Well, yeah, but I'd rather not."
"Why?"
"Like I said before, his ki is twisted. He's got something like human ki, but it's been corrupted or warped."
Ed nodded in understanding.
"And I kinda get the same feeling from Al. It's like he's human, but there's something... wrong. Something missing. It's not as bad as the sins, but it's still strange. And to tell you the truth, my first impulse is to block it out."
"Why?"
"You know that feeling when you have an itch you can't scratch? Or when there's something wrong and it's bugging the hell out of you but you can't place it? It's basically the same feeling. I get that whenever I sense one of them."
"Oh." Ed considered this new revelation. "But wait a minute! We normally can't tell if Envy's shapeshifted, but you can sense him even if he's wearing another body, right?" Ed asked, suddenly excited. "You'll be able to warn us if he's nearby! Or any of the homunculi, for that matter!"
"Yeah..."
Ed was enthusiastic. "We won't have to worry about the homunculi anymore!"
Gohan grimaced. "Well, about being surprised by them, anyway."
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Chapter 3 written! Cool! And as to the disclaimer, it actually happened. The flashback part, anyway. I just embellished it a bit. I've found that disclaimers that are based on what has actually occurred are funnier, but that could be just me. Anywho, please leave me a review on the way out.