Summary: DBZ/FMA X-over. Sequel to my Alchemy and Saiyans fic. Chi-Chi decides to have Gohan learn alchemy, so she sends him to Amestris.

Disclaimer:

it walks alone: (scribble scribble)

BritKit: (munchmunchmunch)

freakinCRAZY: (study)

Mordecai: ...That reminds me! It's Friday!

BK: (stares) No it's not.

M: It's not?

IWA: It's Monday.

BK: Which is why I feel like utter crap and want to jump off the roof of the building. (glares)

IWA: (to M) Basically, our dear BritKit, who had to get up at 6, hasn't had lunch, and has a math test today, is in a very bad mood. (to BK) Please don't. If you do jump, then I'll be down a muse.

BK: You'll be down your only muse. (grumbles)

M: I see.

FC: (completely oblivious)

IWA: I'm going to take this moment to announce that if anyone would like any pairings, yaoi, het, doesn't matter, they should tell me. Now. So that I can write it into the story and not just have it at the end. Also, I'm going to advise that you all go out and read the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett because the sequel to this will include it. I recommend you make sure to read The Color of Magic, Night Watch, and any other ones that mention Rincewind, the Luggage, Sam Vimes, and Unseen University, because they will be the main Discworld characters. (Yes, I know that a university is not a character, but I mean all the wizards in it.)

BK: (grumbles and glares at nothing in particular)

IWA: (catches her breath) And I STILL don't own FMA or DBZ. Or Discworld for that matter.

M: You know, there are a lot of similarities between fruitcake and Santa Claus...

IWA: Sure there are, Mordecai. Sure there are...

Review Responses:

I just realized that I'm not allowed to do these. (pouts) I'll respond via email, if I can. Starting with the reviews for this chapter.

"Speaking" Thoughts (Me to you)

Last time:

"Not unless it's that new, formal, 7-star restaurant that just opened on East street."

"...Hawkeye, a meal there costs more than what I make in five years."

"Exactly, sir."

"...God help me."

Chapter 6: The Dragonballs

A few days later, a random person in accounting at military headquarters picked up one of Colonel Mustang's expense reports and paused, reading it over.

There was an amount written in that was about five times a colonel's yearly salary plus some. In the 'Spent On' column was written 'Ransom'.

"I don't remember any ransom requests..."

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A couple weeks later, Gohan was making progress with alchemy—he could put dishes and other simple objects back together. The demi was also helping the Elric brothers with their research on the Philosopher's Stone. Oddly enough, Mustang (after being laughed at by Havoc, Hughes, and Ed about the 'ransom') hadn't sent the blond on any missions. Gohan speculated that that was because of his fear of what Armstrong, Hughes, and Havoc said he (meaning Gohan) could do. (IWA: Aka blowing up a rather large part of the city.) The Colonel was also giving Gohan access to whatever books he wanted, probably due to the same fear.

"Say, Gohan, don't you think you should call your mom?" Ed asked him. "I mean, it has been two weeks since she's heard from you. For all she knows, you could be dead..."

Gohan looked up from the perfect circle he was drawing. "Oh yeah... And knowing Mom, she's probably freaking out by now for just that reason..."

Ed nodded vigorously. "What do you say we go take over Mustang's office?"

Gohan grinned. "I like the way you think."

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"...So we need your office," Gohan finished.

Mustang glared at them. "...Why can't you call them from somewhere else?"

"Because Mom's probably spazzing and won't stop until she actually sees me. She may even insist on coming over herself."

Mustang blinked. "...Would that be bad?"

"You know what Riza's like. Mom's the same, just about 10 times as concentrated and with a Frying Pan instead of a gun."

Mustang blanched.

"And she's extremely overprotective of me," the demi-Saiyan continued.

"O—oh."

"Yeah. So, can I call her?"

"Of course," Mustang nearly squeaked.

Ed snickered.

"How about we leave him to deal with his mother by himself?" Mustang growled.

"Uh... Sure! I'll be leaving now!" Ed bolted out the door before Mustang could torch him. Said Colonel ran out after him.

Gohan shook his head, sweatdropping. "She's not that bad..."

He walked over to the TV that Mustang still hadn't taken down yet. (IWA: Good thing, too.)

/click/

"Bulma?"

"Oh, Gohan! Finally! Chi-Chi's been going ballistic! Let me go get her—she's visiting right now."

"Sure thing, Bulma. I'll be right here."

Bulma left and returned a few minutes later with Chi-Chi in tow.

"Hey, Mom."

"Gohan! Where have you been? Why haven't you called? How have your studies been going?"

Gohan sweatdropped. "Um... I've been in and around Central, I haven't called because I've been busy learning alchemy from Ed and Al, and I can put some basic things back together now."

Chi-Chi had stars in her eyes. "That's my Gohan!"

Bulma chuckled. "Wasn't there something you wanted to ask him, Chi-Chi?"

Chi-Chi blinked, the stars disappearing. "Huh?"

Gohan sweatdropped again.

"Oh yeah!" Chi-Chi exclaimed, apparently remembering. "Does it have to be alchemy that fixes Ed and Al's bodies?"

Gohan blinked. "Well, nobody's said that per se, but I get the feeling that that's what they believe..."

Chi-Chi grinned. "Well, why don't we use the Dragonballs? We can wish them back to normal."

Gohan just sat there, stunned.

"WE can get them over here using the radar," Bulma continued. "We'll call you once we've got 'em. You just bring Ed and Al and whoever else wants to come over here, we'll summon Shenlong, and we can wish them back."

"Mom, you're the greatest!" Gohan yelled, before nearly phasing out in his rush to go tell the Elric brothers.

There was a pause after he zoomed out the door.

Then he dashed back in, shut off the TV showing Chi-Chi's and Bulma's bemused expressions, and flew out through the doors again, causing them to slam behind him.

In the DBZ world, Chi-Chi and Bulma sat quietly for a minute, processing what had just occurred.

"You're welcome!" Chi-Chi called to the dead screen, even though she knew Gohan couldn't hear her.

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After a few minutes of flying around headquarters looking for Ed and Al and scaring many subordinates in the process, Gohan remembered that he could sense ki. He pinpointed the Elrics and went there.

The brothers turned out to be in just a random room with the Cereal Incident Crew: Mustang, (IWA: Obviously, he's the one who got the cereal!) Armstrong, Hughes, Havoc, and Riza.

Everyone looked up when he burst through the doors, not out of breath at all.

"Ed!Al!Momjustgavemeagreatidea!Iknowhowwecangetyourbodiesbacktonormal!"

They all stared at him, wide-eyed. (IWA: If applicable.)

"Sorry, what?" Ed asked, bewildered.

"I caught my name in there somewhere..." Al murmured.

Gohan rolled his eyes. "We can get you two back to normal."

Al jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over. "How!"

Gohan grinned. "The Dragonballs!"

"The what?" asked Riza.

Gohan sighed. "The Dragonballs! Seven mystical orbs. If you get all seven together, you can summon the dragon god Shenlong and hell grant you three wishes!"

They all stared at him even more.

"And... this is true?" Mustang asked skeptically. (IWA: Ed was still in shock.)

"Of course it is!" Gohan nearly yelled, exasperated.

"You have proof?" The Colonel was still skeptical.

Gohan glared. "All of the Z-Senshi but me, Goten, and Trunks have died at least once! Is that proof enough for you, sir?"

Mustang backed away. (IWA: As much as he could, seeing as he was still sitting down. He did nearly tip his chair over backwards, though.) "Of course, of course! Sorry!"

Gohan shook his head. "It's okay. You didn't know. I shouldn't have yelled."

Hughes poked Ed. "Hey, what happened to him?"

"I think he's in shock..." Al replied.

Riza, (ever so slightly) fed up with this situation, pulled out her gun and fired at the ceiling.

Ed didn't react.

"Hawkeye! I'm gonna have to pay for that, you know!" Mustang complained.

Riza glanced at him. "Oh, just put it under damages."

Al sighed. "Let me handle this." He turned to his brother. "Ed, the house is on fire."

No response.

"Ed, Winry wants to marry you."

Still no response.

"Ed, I slept with Mustang."

Everyone stared at the suit of armor. (Except Ed, who was still staring blankly ahead.)

"Now look here, Alphonse—" Mustang started. Riza put her hand over his mouth.

"Was he any good?" Ed asked dazedly. (IWA: Mind you, Al's still a suit of armor. (sweatdrops))

"ALPHO—" Again, Mustang was cut off by Riza's hand.

"Yes, actually, and he wants to know if you'll join us next time," Al said.

"I DO NO—" Mustang again. Yet again, Riza cut him off.

"Okay..." Ed replied, still dazed. Then he snapped out of it. "Wait—What did I just agree to?"

"You agreed to have a threesome with me and Mustang next Saturday," Al informed him.

"WHAAAAT?"

"Relax, nii-san, I'm kidding."

"Ohthankgod!"

Mustang growled.

Everyone else sweatdropped.

"...Hey... Mustang...?" Havoc asked timidly.

"What?" said Colonel snapped. (IWA: Not literally!)

"...You wouldn't... actually... I mean... Would you even consider...?"

"NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!" Mustang and Ed yelled in unison.

"Justchecking!" Havoc yelped, hiding behind Riza, who rolled her eyes.

Al snickered.

Gohan coughed. "...Um, right. Let's get back on topic, shall we?"

They all turned to him. "What topic?" Ed asked innocently.

Gohan sighed. "Wishing your bodies back."

"Oh, right!" Ed grinned. "So, where are these 'Dragonballs'?"

Gohan grinned back. "Mom and Bulma have the Z-Senshi (IWA: Probably Yamcha and Vegeta... (shudder) Those two do NOT like each other...) out looking for them. They'll call us once they have them all."

Mustang scowled, still miffed about the whole sleeping-with-Fullmetal thing. (BK: That would be pretty hot, tho'... (drools) IWA: ... ... (sweatdrops)) "Does this mean I'm confined to my office until further notice?"

Gohan laughed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. "Of course not! Bulma has my number!"

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... ... (sweatdrops) BK came up with the whole Ed-in-shock thing. She'd come up with it before and I just (completely accidentally, mind you) gave her the perfect opportunity to use it. And I am interested in what you think about pairings. Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.