Reviewers: due to complications I cannot answer every reviewer, as is my custom. I'm sorry for this rudeness and assure you it's a one off. Thank you for reviewing!
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ASSERTIVEArdiath didn't wake for a long time that morning. The usual routine of waking an hour before sunrise had been destroyed. Ardiath was tired and felt sickened. Ardiath was shivering on the hard ground. She was alone. Joachim had left to scout the night before. In part she was relieved. She had the privacy to slowly cut into her arm and release the pain inside of her. She felt another wave of despair and rolled over to scramble for the blade. Her hands closed around the blade. She never had chance to use it though.
"Ardiath, Cedric wants you in his tent."
She looked up. She had nothing to tell the Saxon commander. With effort that can only be found in the midst of hopelessness she pushed herself up. Ardiath reached out and pulled back the tent and began to pick her way through the camp. There were lewd calls as usual but they were more subdued this morning. The soldiers all knew she wasn't moving to Cynric's tent.
When she reached Cedric's tent, she cleared her throat. Cedric heard the little cough and glance up. It was the woman.
"Enter," He said with his scratchy voice. Ardiath did as told. She averted her eyes to look around the tent. Cedric's was much grander. He had furs on the ground. Cedric surveyed her with her down turned head.
"What have you got for me?"
She answered but Cedric missed what she said for she spoke so quietly. Cedric leaned closer and that was his invitation to speak again.
"Nothing," Ardiath whispered. Cedric saw the woman's outside demeanor remain unchanged but he could smell the fear.
'That is not good enough," He told her quietly. One might mistake his calm tone for forgiveness but Ardiath was not that foolish.
"I know," Ardiath replied.
"Do you really know, Ardiath, because I'm not sure you do? I take you in and let you live and you can't even do a simple job for me. Your husband is providing us with a service Ardiath. What are you giving us?"
"I did the best I could."
"Not good enough. I'm beginning to think you can't pull your weight," Cedric drawled slowly.
"The agreement was our lives for Joachim's scouting."
"No it was for you to give something back in exchange for your lives. Both of you," Cedric watched the woman closely. She was twitching in rage. Cedric was surprised. He hadn't expected her to react to these words but it was such fun when she did.
"I think I may have to get you to lie with Cynric's friends too just to hear what they speak."
Ardiath punched Cedric. She was not a strong woman and weeks marching had not really increased this but a direct punch from anyone to the face was bound to hurt. Cedric didn't even move his head. That frightened Ardiath.
He flexed his fingers but kept them at is side.
'You will go to him again tonight," Cedric instructed coolly.
"You are despicable," The words spilled from Ardiath's mouth, "What have I done to you that you would subject me to such treatment. Am I little better than a dog? You have subjected me to the extremist of humiliation and then expect me to do it all again! A plague on you and yours," Ardiath hissed. Her blues eyes flared with a fire that hadn't been seen.
Cedric struck her. It was a casual off hand blow but it sent her reeling down on the ground. She tasted a warm coppery tang in her mouth and spat her own blood on Cedric's nice furs.
"Rot in hell, Cedric," She spluttered between mouthfuls of blood.
"Maybe I will but you better be in my son's tent tonight or I will personally offer you to the whole army repeatedly."
He kicked her out then. He lifted her up by the scruff of her neck and sent her sprawling outside. She knelt in the mud cursing her own foolishness. Why had she aggravated the Saxon lord? It would get her nowhere. She closed her eyes and repeated Tristan's name to herself. She must have spoken it a few hundred times before she felt strong enough to stand.
She had to pack up there little tent by herself. Joachim was out still. The Saxons jeered at her as she struggled with the great weight. Once in a pack she could carry it easily but getting it in needed a lot of strength. On the road she was pushed into the middle of the main army.
It was a repeat of yesterday. Prodding and pocking with spears and even the occasional trip. Ardiath was thankful for the halt when it came. She pushed her way to the front of the army. Her heart soared when she saw Joachim talking to Cedric and Cynric. He was speaking quickly and gesturing frantically.
Cedric nodded then pointed back towards the forest. Joachim stiffened and he turned his gaze back towards the army. Ardiath held her breath hoping he would see her. He did! Cedric followed his gaze. He talked sternly to Joachim before dismissing him with a wave. He then turned back to converse with his son and generals.
Joachim ran back to his wife and embraced her. She was cold but so solid and real that Joachim felt like weeping. She clutched him feverishly. For a moment the pair forgot Saxons surrounded them.
"Listen, I haven't much time," Joachim said starting up.
"But surely you aren't going out again. You're exhausted," Ardiath exclaimed shocked. Joachim did look weary. He hadn't stopped moving for an entire two days.
"Yes I have to. Cedric ordered it," He broke off when he noticed Ardiath gained a frightful glint in her eye, "don't look at him that way love he may have us killed at any moment."
"I punched him yesterday," Ardiath looked sheepish but defiant. Joachim almost burst with pride and fear. He was scared because this angel in his life could have been seriously hurt. He was happy because it meant she still had some of her old spirit left. He had thought he was watching his wife fade into nothingness. A walking empty corpse but apparently that was not the case and it gave him hope. He wound a hand carefully in her dirty black hair and kissed her lips.
"I am so proud but it must not happen again."
"Of course my love," Ardiath agreed and finger the bandage covering her scar and cuts.
"Now listen. So one is following the army. Some one of great skill that I cannot catch. I must assume their intention is to finally attack the army with a great force. You must be ready in case of an attack. If they are attacked, run! No armies in this land slaughter a helpless woman. Not even the Romans. You will be protected and I will find you," There was a pause, "If I survive."
Ardiath gasped, "No!"
"This scout is of unsurpassed skill," Joachim insisted, "I have no doubt that by now he would have caught a glimpse of me and connect me with the enemy. Should there be an attack I am just as likely a target as any of the Saxons."
Ardiath bit down on her lip to stop it from quivering. What was wrong with her today? Everything was reducing her to a sniveling wreck. She took a deep breath and fought for the control she had had so much of. It wouldn't help Joachim to see her wailing.
"I understand," She said slowly. She looked at the man before her. His mouth was like a small line in his face, tightly pressed together as he gazed at her. There were dark circles under his eyes and they had lost their spark. They seemed so pale and bland. He looked like he had when he had been dragged into her room half delirious with fever and shouting at her not to let the Romans take him. His hair was getting a slight dust of silver in it. She sighed and reached up to brush it out of his eyes.
He grabbed her hand and held it to his lips. They were cracked from, the cold and the wind but Ardiath could think of nothing that would feel this good.
"I have to go soon," He whispered to her, "I only have until the army marches again then I must scout."
Ardiath felt her resolve weakening. She had borne all she could for so long. All she wanted was one night in her husband's arms to sleep like she used to. It was becoming too much for her to bear. She was only one woman and not an old one. She hadn't been a leader or a warrior or wise woman. She was only Ardiath. The healer. What strength had she to draw on in such times? Tears pricked her eyes and she battled for management of her emotions.
Joachim watched the struggle his wife was having and it broke his heart. He gently placed his hands on either side of her face and looked her desperately in the eye.
"Ardy," He used his pet name for her. He only used it in the most intimate of occasions. "Ardy. You have been so strong. Why can't you let yourself cry this once?"
"I don't need to cry," Ardiath protested softly.
"Yes you do."
"No," Ardiath insisted.
"You're hurting and you have to accept that one day I might not come home…"
"No."
"And then I won't be able to comfort you ever again…"
"Stop."
"Ardy, please! I want to stroke your tears away and hold you and tell you it will be fine at the end of this."
"Please no," Ardiath couldn't keep her voice strong.
"Ardiath I love you. This life or the next I always will."
"I love you too," Ardiath gave a small cry as the pain within her heart became too much to bear and she let out a strangled sob that led to full fledge tears. Ardiath was ashamed but Joachim held her and stroked her hair and whispered to her.
"It will all be fine."
"It will all be fine," Ardiath whispered after him.
"You are so strong and nothing can touch your spirit."
"I am strong and nothing can touch my spirit," She repeated hastily.
"I love you," He whispered in her ear.
"I love you," The reply was returned through tears.
"I love you so much!" Joachim could feel tears in his own eyes now.
"As much as I love you," Ardiath assured him. He moved back slightly so he could tilt her head and kiss her mouth. Ardiath kissed him back hungrily. Her arms were tight around him as thought she wouldn't let him go. Joachim could feel she had stopped crying.
He felt better. He was unnerved by her strength. He felt like he couldn't reach her and as if he couldn't comfort her. To hold her while she cried had made him feel like he could finally give something back to her.
Ardiath felt a great pressure released. She felt strong again. Like she could take on anything. But Joachim had to leave now. Cedric had signaled for the start of the march. Joachim squeezed her hand once more before leaving. Ardiath watched him go with dry eyes.
Cedric had watched this from afar and so had Cynric. Cedric noticed the couple's affectionate goodbye. Cynric had watched with a strange feeling rising in his stomach. A person more in tune with their emotions would have recognised this emotion, as jealousy but Cynric didn't have much understanding of his emotions.
Ardiath was exhausted from the march. The men seemed to throw off the cramps of the march by fighting. Ardiath wandered past the fighting with distaste. It wasn't just wrestling. It was knife fighting. Ardiath stopped when something silver caught her eye. It was a knife. Ardiath tried to repress her excitement. Causally she bent down and pocketed the knife. With a smile she returned to her tent to prepare for her evening visit to Cynric.
AN: review please I was trying to show how much the couple care for each other. By the way I didn't like this chappy!
MD666