Forever in Darkness
FLUFF WARNING- Those with insensitive hearts and boys not in touch with their feminine side (ie. those who are trying to compensate for something) are warned that there are things in this chapter that make girls go "Awww, cute! Kawaii!" and that if you refer to this immaculate fluff as "touchy-feely" and yell "AHHH!!! Cooties!" whenever you see a girl coming by, just be forewarned.
IF YOU LIKE FLUFF- This is my first real attempt at fluff! I've never had a remotely romantic relationship (I'd be frightened if I did, at 15) and this is written off of pure imagination. (Congrats to Angelz on Edge, xiDOREyoux & what the heck, nightmarewish012 you win too! Winners of the "age-guessing" get a cookie and get to make up one short line that I'll try to include in this fanfic. Can be dialog, thought, or other. Review or message me your choices!)
Ch.4 Never Again
'Inuyasha, I'm scared. Everything hurt so much and now it's gone. I just feel numb.'
Kagome looked around her. She sat in a circle of four people. Well, only really two, herself and Inuyasha. The only strange thing was that there were three Inuyashas. One had wide, dark brown eyes and pitch-black hair. One was that of the half demon that she cared for so much, with his golden eyes and seemingly silky hair, and the last was that of the one that haunted her dreams. His eyes were a blazing blood crimson and his large fangs overhung his mouth, witch was twisted into a cruel smile.
'Am…am I dead?' she asked the question tentatively, scared of the answer.
Hanyu Inuyasha scoffed. 'I doubt that. A feisty wench like you killed by some weak swamp demon? No way, I wouldda killed him easy.'
The Human nodded in agreement. 'We wouldn't let that thing even touch you.'
A demonic laugh sounded. 'Simpletons, of course she was injured. Both of you were to slow. I saw it all when I almost surfaced.' His red eyes gleamed and he leaned in close to her. 'That thing's hurt you real good.' He smiled. 'Let's just hope they got you to that old priestess quick enough.'
'Hey, back off!' yell the hanyu, his clawed hand around the hilt of his sword; his human counterpart did the same. The demon shrugged and backed off, still smiling.
'If I'm not dead…" Kagome began after a short time, 'Where am I?' golden eyes looked at her, somewhat startled. Kagome looked around at them, waiting for an answer. When none came she began to panic. 'If I don't know where I am, how do I know this is real? What if this is just all happening inside my head?'
The only other human in the room chuckled. 'Of course this is all happening in your head!' Kagome stared at him and he smiled back. 'But that doesn't mean it's not real.'
Kagome only had a few seconds to ponder that cryptic statement before she felt something vibrate all around her, almost like a tingling sensation in an arm that had it's circulation cut of for a time. You know it's your arm, It just doesn't feel connected to you.
The half demon fell to lie on his back. 'Feh, I'm getting tired.'
'Besides,' added the mortal, 'I think they want you back now.'
'Have fun!' the last one added, as if it were a threat.
'Wait!' Kagome tried to say, but each one was soon gone, and Kagome left alone. Kagome started to shiver, not with cold but with fever. It went down into the core of her body and Kagome open the eyes she didn't know she had closed with a gasp.
-Gasp- Kagome opened her eyes and glimpsed the glow of a small fire before letting out a small shout of pain and shutting them.
"Is she awake?"
"She very well could be, yet we have no way of knowing, Inuyasha."
"…will she be ok?"
The voices above her paused in the conversation before one finally answered. "Kagome has been burned by a very harmful and infective poison. Healing it is not the hard part; it's making sure that the scarring of the skin doesn't make her unable to move properly… It will never completely heal, the scars will cover her for the rest of her life."
More silence fallowed. Kagome wasn't sure if she was awake or asleep, she wasn't even really listening to what these disembodied voices where saying. Her world was spinning and even breathing was a chore.
"…And it's all my fault." The voice was soft.
The pause of quiet was broken by the second voice. "Do not blame yourself for uncontrollable circumstances."
"But that's just it! It wasn't uncontrollable! It was me…! I could have saved her. I…"
"…"
Kagome heard the movement of fabric, and the light glow from the fire that shone through her closed eyes was blocked. Something soft and smooth, but most of all cool, wonderfully, blissfully cool, was placed on her forehead. Kagome gave a light moan, and rolled her head more into the chill touch.
"She's got a fever!"
"Well, of course! All the skin on her body was burned raw! Her body is trying to heal it all at the same time, the fever is the result of this immense strain on her body."
"…"
"…Inuyasha, I know you care about her, but brooding in self pity like you seem to be doing isn't helping anybody. At least Sango and the others are out getting water for me."
"Feh." Kagome felt the touch rise away from her and voiced her protest. The small shout was scratchy, and as soon as she did it, it felt like she had just swallowed millions of burning needles that caught in her throat. She began to cough, causing even more pain, intensifying the burning in her throat. She tried to stop, muffling the coughing, but to weak to completely silence the torturing function.
Again she heard the movement of fabric, frantic and quick. The cool hand was pressed against her face, cupping half of it. Kagome leaned her head toward it, attempting to take a shallow breath, only succeeding in sending herself into a second coughing fit.
"Sit her up Inuyasha!" the voice came in the direction that the rustling and clanking was being projected from one side of the room.
The soothing hand that felt so good against her burning skin left her again. She felt it slide gently under her shoulders, and supporting her with another hand on her side, gingerly lifted into the air. Although the journey was slow and only lifted her torso, Kagome couldn't help but let out a small shout. The movement threw off the small sense of balance she had acquired, and only made worse the burning of her injured skin.
"Lean her ageist yourself, yes, like that, don't forget to keep a support on her neck."
The one lifting her didn't need the instructions, gentle and careful with every movement, she felt her head leaned on what must have been a shoulder, the arm still wrapped around her torso for support.
"Ah! Found it." The padding of footsteps fallowed. "Here. It should sooth her throat and lungs."
Kagome felt the edge of a ceramic cup held to her mouth. It was tipped slowly forward and a heavenly liquid that calmed the burring inferno in her throat spread throughout her, reaching to her chest, sending out a warm and almost tingling sensation. Her hand went up to the cup, and wrapped around the hand that already held the glass. Long fingernails that extended like claws from the sleek fingers they were connected to pressed agents her palm. She weakly tipped the immaculate liquid into her mouth, the other hand aiding in the task. All to soon the drink was gone. Kagome wished it hadn't ended, the cool feeling of it running down her throat still lingering.
Kagome let her hand drop, her body becoming suddenly heavy, exhausted by the small exertion. She felt herself being laid down on a soft surface. Her head laying on a softer surface then the rest. But it wasn't a pillow; it was of the same fabric that had been on the shoulder.
She felt the invitingly cool hands return, one combed soothing through her hair, pulling the stray stands away from her burning face. The other held her hand, it's thumb rubbing the back of it comfortingly. Kagome's body was becoming numb with tiredness; the voices came to her as if she were sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.
"That should help her sleep too. Rest, that is what this young one needs."
"…"
"…You really care about her, don't you? Even more then you once did for my dead sister."
Kagome's breathing was rhythmic and peaceful, dreaming untold dreams, her head placed laxly on the hanyu's lap. She did not hear him respond "Yes" or feel as his lips pressed lightly against hers before he left, glancing one last time at her serene form dozing on a mat before walking out of the hut and into the drizzle that had started falling from the sky, as if the whether itself was reflected his sprit in it's unsure, cloudy skies.
It was late at night. Everyone was sleeping in Kaede's hut. The sky was still clouded from the light rain earlier that night, creating darkness thick enough to feel, its heavy presence weighing the very air with its aberrant cloak. A pair of golden eyes blinked twice in the darkness, awake and tireless in the midnight air. The eyes were slitted, made for seeing in the darkness of night. They gave off a restless feel, shifting one direction, and then the other, in almost a nervous way.
'Wake me up, Inuyasha, when the moon reaches its fourth position.'
"Yeah, I remember old women." The figure mumbled, recalling the command of the elder woman. He glanced at the moon out of the small window. It was still cloudy, but his internal clock said it was about the time the woman had spoken of.
'Why do you need to get up so late? What's so important that a wrinkly old person like you need to go creeping around at the dead of night?'
'Kagome's skin is healing at a rapid pace. It is re-growing all of the surface skin with scar tissue. This ruff and stiff skin could render Kagome unable to move properly if not moisturized by the salve I have created. I must get up to apply it to her skin so it will not dry out during the night.'
'Feh.'
He had felt so guilty, but he hadn't shown it. Here he was being rude, and the reason the old crow had been sacrificing her rare time of rest was to help Kagome. He had been the true reason for her injuries. Inuyasha hid his eyes in shadow. His entire fault…
He sat in silence in his self-pity, wishing he had done more. "The scars will cover her for the rest of her life" That phrase haunted him, his eyes actually opening with a flash of fear as the words came back to him. Never heal, never get better, always there, showing, telling, reminding him of when he had failed; failed when it really mattered…
"Stop it!" His loud voice rang out of it own accord, sounding cushioned in the seeping darkness. "It's not my fault…I didn't mean to…"
"I know." Came the soothing voice in his memories. Inuyasha closed his eyes, letting the memories that he always kept deep inside of him, it the darkest places of his mind, awaken to him on this night, a night as dark as the corners that he kept them in.
"It's not my fault, it was an accident. I didn't mean to…"
"I know." Came his mother's reply. He held the flat ball limply in his hands.
"I really didn't mean to, I just…" The small form of Inuyasha looked down at his newly developed claws. They never were this long and sharp before. "Mama?" his face looked wonderingly into the lovely eyes of his mother. "Why do I have these?" He held the sharp fingernails up to his mother.
She contemplated his hands for a while and then crouched down level to him. She took his paw in her hand and kissed his palm before laying her hand against his, his fingers spreading to align with hers. Her hands where always so big.
"I think they're there to help." She replied sweetly.
"Help?" he protested, "How can they help? All they've done lately is hurt. I popped the ball, I'm always scratching or breaking things when I touch or hold them, I even scraped you once when I hugged you that under day!"
" 'Other day' " she kindly corrected. Inuyasha put on a stubborn expression and crossed his arms, pouting. His mother held out her wide arms and snuggled him in a hug, settling herself in a comfortable sitting position on the ground. Inuyasha soon forgot his qualm and settled himself in her lap, facing outward, the same direction as his mother.
"They can help. They can protect." She smiled.
"Protect? But who would I protect?" The young child looked bewildered "Besides you, of course, Mama."
"You protect those who you care about."
"I don't care about anyone!" He replied stubbornly, suddenly on his feet, determination in his big eyes, so sure of himself.
"Don't say such mean things!" She scolded. Her voice was soft, and tender, but a bit of an edge crept into it that Inuyasha could always catch, telling him that he had done wrong. "You care about me, don't you?"
"Of course!"
"Then that's someone." She paused, just smiling to herself, and beginning to rock back and forth with her son. "I'm sure you'll find someone who you'll care about." The motion was calming and lulling, and Inuyasha felt his large head getting heavy.
"Really?"
"Really." She cuddled him. "And they'll care about you too."
"Will…will they even like my claws?" he felt himself nodding off, the attempt at staying conscious fading quickly.
"They'll love you from you cute fuzzy ears down to your little bare feet. Just like I do."
"Mmm…" Inuyasha's mind drifted, falling into a peaceful sleep in the arms of his guardian angel.
Inuyasha opened sad eyes at the memory. "I'm sorry Mama…I wasn't able to help when that person needed it most." The whisper didn't even use breath.
"I know."
A look of determination set in his eyes. 'I won't be useless anymore, I'll prove her right!'
He stood quickly and silently, making long soft strides to the corner of the dead fire pit, ashes the only reminisces of the light blaze. His eyes scanned the small assortment of objects near by. A rag, the ceramic cup he gave to Kagome, along with the empty bottle that once held the medicine, and lastly, a bloated looking jar with a piece of cloth tied tightly around the top. Well, that must be the salve.
That is what he had decided. That instead of awakening the feeble woman, he would apply the meditative lotion to Kagome's skin. It would be as his condolence for being such, no pun intended, and ungrateful dog.
He popped the small sheet of fabric from the top of the bottle, revealing a thin layer of wax, there to keep airtight the unguent. Inuyasha easily picked out the plausible disk with a sharp nail. He examined it for a second before throwing it to the floor at the side of the fire and peered into the mysterious jar to reveal a strong smelling, slightly translucent, gel.
When he said strong smelling, he didn't mean foul, on the contrary, it smelled so clean it stung his sensitive nose. A wafting smell crossed between Vicks Vapor Rub and Calamine lotion. He wrinkled his nose at it before dulling his senses and planting himself at the side of Kagome.
A light blush crept onto his face and only grew redder at he realized what he was about to do. He shook himself. No! He had to do it! To redeem himself! …and yet… Should he wake her? Well, he could try. He reached out and gently shook her.
"Kagome. Psst. Hey, Kagome-chan." Inuyasha blinked. Chan? Where had that come from!? This was starting to scare him. He hardened his composure and continued to roll her lightly back and fourth. He had just given up with a sigh when her brown eyes slowly opened.
"In…" she mouthed the rest of his name, unable to form it fully. Her eyes where only half open and slightly uneven, they had a cloudy look to them that forced him to whisper.
"Yeah, it's me. Ya awake?" she nodded more with her eyes then her head, but he could tell that she was truly conscious. She must have so many questions…
"Well, we're at Kaede's hut, and it's about the fourth position, what would you call it? Three O-clock? You've got weird terms in your time." Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably as he got to the last part, his whispers becoming not much more then mumbles, the words only able to be caught by Kagome because of their closeness.
"…You got hurt pretty bad, and you need this stuff that Kaede made put on your skin. …It's a salve." He ended lamely. Why, why had he made himself do this? To atone? For Kaede, or for the guilty feeling he harbored for Kagome's injuries? Maybe both? Either way, this was starting to sound and look like worse of an idea with each reason he gave himself.
Inuyasha noticed Kagome's mouth moving, no sound escaping. She wore a smile, small and feeble, but a genuinely happy smile. The look made his heart sink. He reached out a slender hand and gently moved a strand of hair out of her face with a light touch of his nail. A small flash of surprise crossed her face before for she just blinked and smiled. She hadn't seen his hand coming in the darkness.
Inuyasha felt suddenly much more comfortable at her reassuring smile, and dipped a finger into the pungent unguent. (A/N- Hehehe…rhymed) He held it to his nose and made a face. "This stuff smells." He held the ointment above her nose and was happy to see her face twist up in a comical manner.
He could feel the shadow of a smile on his face and felt no qualm when he took her arm and smoothed the balm over the red skin. The small flinch she gave became a sigh of relief as the soothing salve slowly began healing her wounds. Inuyasha didn't talk much, just more about what had happened while she was out, lighthearted stories of Shippo spilling water all over him, or a certain lecherous monk being pushed into a pond by a certain demon slayer for a certain perverted action. Kagome could only smile lightly at each story in turn, basking in the feeling of the balsam ageist her burning wounded skin.
Inuyasha covered both her arms and her shoulders, becoming more and more aware of the reason Kaede had said that she must be the one to apply the ointment. Inuyasha did as much as he could, covering her legs up to dangerous levels of her thighs, causing him to blush profusely, and you wouldn't have been able to tell, but under Kagome's red skin, a deep blush had also set in. Was he really doing this? To her?! 'No, don't get so excited Kagome.' She told herself, 'He's just trying to help out. That's all.'
"Err..." His nervous voice brought her back to the currant situation. "Uhh, I, umm, I'm gunna have to roll you over…" With a sense of awkward reluctance, he gently roller her to her side, and then on to her stomach. Kagome gave a gasp at the pain that it caused her. Inuyasha cringed himself at her pain, as if feeling it himself.
With sudden determination, Inuyasha began on her back; ignoring the heat he felt growing on his face. What would he do after that? He couldn't do much more without… 'Ok, better not think about that.' He quickly told himself. Half of him wanted to work slower on her back, to prolong his next decision, but wouldn't that be a little…weird? While this furious battle in his head raged on, a voice under a whisper sounded, barely caught by his attentive ears.
"Inu…Inuyasha…" He perked his ears, leaning in to hear the injured girl better. "…Thank you…so much…"
The words hit him like a physical blow, his eyes widening for an instant, before closing to a more ashamed look before being hid behind the shadow of his bangs. "Don't say that Kagome. It's my fault, I should have- no, could have…"
She feebly shook her head, her eyes moist with the threat of tears. "No, you're wrong,"
"I…I'm sorry…" Inuyasha was having trouble keeping his composure. All the things he had said that fateful night two days ago, all the hurtful words they had said to each other, haunted him. Yet there she was thanking him. Didn't she get it? That it was all his fault? That the extensiveness of her injuries was his fault? How could she forgive him like that. He shook his head, reciting out loud the phrase he had been repeating to himself all night, "I- I didn't mean to…"
"I know." Inuyasha looked up with startled eyes at the familiar words. Kagome smiled at him, her head turned to him; the same sad looking smile his mother had worn draped on her face. Inuyasha could do nothing but stare in an aw-struck way, his dazed golden eyes looking wondrously into her faded, unfocused brown.
"Am I disturbing anything?" and like that, the moment was broken and gone. The mysterious magic lost, slipping away from them to quickly and abruptly to hold on to. Above him stood the old priestess, her face unreadable with the exception of one eyebrow cocked at an odd angle, suggesting that something was askew with the seen before her.
Inuyasha looked down at Kagome and the redness abruptly returned to his cheeks with even greater intensity then before. His position was that of slightly leaned, one hand up Kagome's back, the other drawn to one of her hands. Inuyasha quickly removed both his hands, raising them in defense. "No! You don't get it! The salve! I was putting it on Kagome for you!"
"Mmm-hmm." Was all the old woman responded, looking at his skeptically.
Inuyasha barked on, about how 'it was all a big mix up!' and not to 'jump to conclusions,' all the while, Kagome attempted to search franticly for the source of the voice, her blush soon reaching the same intensity as her partner in crime as she finally made sense of the situation.
"Oh, be quiet Inuyasha! You'll wake the whole village." Inuyasha could only twitch and force himself into submission. "Child, are thee feeling better?"
Kagome attempted to roll over, almost getting on her side before collapsing from the effort. Concern in his eyes, Inuyasha quickly aided her. Kaede bent over the young woman, looking her over with a worn eye. After a few moments of this, she confronted the nervous half demon.
"Why did you fail to wake me, Inuyasha? What possessed you to try your hand at my nightly duty?" She peered at him with a beady eye, making Inuyasha resembled a fish gasping for air for a second before he was able to put on a resentful manor and pout, saying, "Feh, what does it mean to the likes of you, anyways?"
The retired priestess raised an eyebrow. "Then you can give no reason for your…forward actions? Then this would be considered taking advantage of a woman when-"
"No! I felt sorry for ya, ok?!" the elder looked at him for a moment, and when she didn't respond, Inuyasha turned himself from her, and elaborated with, "An old hag like you needs all the 'beauty' rest they can get."
She seemed satisfied with this and turned her attention to Kagome, who was weakly calling for her. "Hush, Kagome, conserve your strength. Try and get back to sleep, will you dear?" The injured girl's eyes wondered, searching the room. "Here, child, I'm over here-" she began to mumble, but stopped abruptly. The older woman shuffled quickly over to the side of Kagome and waved a hand in front of her face. Kagome's eyes blinked slowly a few times before closing and remaining shut, sleep descending upon her like a sheet of rain.
"It's to dark." Inuyasha said. "She can't see with almost no light. I'm surprised you can." Kaede looked at him inquisitively before shaking her head.
"What?"
"Nothing, Inuyasha. What you also need now is rest."
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Of all the things that have been spewed forth from your mouth-"
"Inuyasha!" She fixed him with a stare, "Half demon or human, your rest is essential, however little."
"Feh."
"Please, child." She sighed.
Inuyasha's eyes hardened. "I'm not you child," he said coldly. He sat against the adjacent wall in his normal cross-legged position, and Kaede looked at him with almost pity. His eyes closed and his breathing evened out quickly, proving his sleepiness. Kaede stood still for a moment in some meditative like state before beginning to tidy up.
Miroku walked in from the small connected room with a yawn. "And how long have you been up?" The old woman asked sagely.
"Inuyasha's yelling woke me up." He replied almost lazily. He stared at Kagome. Kaede continued in her early chores, the time being four in the morning, the sun would soon rise anyways. The time passed slowly, minuets slipping by.
"You didn't tell him." Miroku had bent down close to observe Kagome's face. The elder paused in her duties before continuing.
"I see you noticed too." She paused. "But truly, what reaction would we have gotten from one so self blaming as him. Besides, it is only a theory."
Miroku shook his head. "It is actually quite likely with her injuries." He blinked at Kagome's sleeping form, so peaceful, unknowing and innocent. "He'd find out eventually anyways, that's inevitable." He gently placed his fingertips over the sleeping girls eyes. "Kagome is blind, Kaede. Even someone of your age could see in that darkness."
A/N- Ahhh! Sorry! How long has it been since I updated this? Months at least. (darn school) I should be punished for leaving it so sad! THIS AIN'T A TRAGEDY! Ok, I tried to make this one extra long! PLEASE COME BACK REVIEWERS! Don't leave me alone… -sniff- I promises I'll be more diligent! (Yosh!) Okay? Please read and review! Wuvuls!
Shinjite F.