Third chapter...well, really chapter 2. Because last chapter was where they were going. Okay...this chapter is like...4 pages and counting in notebook paper, so you know...what can I say? It's kinda boring being in 7th grade in a middle school where you like know...nobody?!

There is a person who reviews this story and his/her parents will not allow him/her to continue to read this fic if I keep cursing. So from now on, I will put an asterisk in there for bad words. Okay.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Deidara would be a girl and Haku would be a Sex Ed. teacher. On to chapter 3. (2?)

Chapter 3: Sasori's Story

Sasori pulled up a cart and walked toward the arts and crafts section since he needed to buy more paint for his puppets. A kid ran into his path without his noticing (I mean, it was a pretty small kid), and then BAM! The sound of an obnoxiously loudly crying kid filled the whole store. "OH MY FKING GOD! KEIJI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" A teenager with long blonde hair came rushing out of the aisle to the crying kid.

"Okaa-san! The mean man hurt me!" The blonde glared at him. "YOU! YOU FKING APOLOGIZE TO KEIJI RIGHT NOW!"

"...Sorry..." (OMG Sasori apologized? This is why its OOC)

The blonde glared at him some more, and Sasori had a funny thought that this girl would probably be the equivalent of Deidara in female form, and if looks could kill, Sasori would have had around 5 million shuriken stuck in him then.

The blonde teenager huffed, turned onher heel, holding on to the kid's hand, and stalked off. "I swear! Teenagers these days! Next thing you know, he'll be driving drunk and talking on his cellphone!"

'WTF? That kid called her okaa-san. AND she's A TEENAGER! There are too many teenage mothers in the world as it is. AND she called ME a teenager! Who the hell does she think I am?! Some stupid sophomore who can't read his own handwriting?! (1) I'm like older than her by 14 years! Ooh she's gonna pay!' (he didn't say this out loud...he's thinking)

Abandoning his shopping cart in the middle of the aisle, he walked after her, humming to himself and pretending to look around at the various art merchandise displayed on the shelves. He followed her to the baby secetion, where she met up with another teenager, except this one was a guy.

"Hey, Danielle," he said, hugging her.

"Hey Duke."

"What's wrong with Keiji?"

The little kid named Keiji tugged his hand away from his mother's and ran to Duke.

"Otou-san! Okaa-san and me were in the art section..."

"Okaa-san And I, Keiji."

"Okaa-san and I were in the arts section looking for crayons, and then this mean guy with red hair and green eyes and wearing a black shirt with blue pants knocked me over with a shopping cart!"

"Is he that one, Keiji?" Duke asked, pointing to Sasori, who had failed to conceal himself behind a rack of baby clothes in time. He gulped. Boy, that teenager Duke looks pretty tough...

Keiji nodded quietly, looking up at his dad while his mom wiped his tears off his face with her sleeve.

Duke cracked his knuckles, his eyes flaring. As he cracked the knuckles of his other hand Sasori saw something shiny flash in the light. A ring? he thought. He looked at Danielle's hand. Another ring. They're married and parents?! OMG they can't be older than 16 and they're probably sophomores in high school and they have a kid?!

Duke's voice broke into his thoughts. "You mess with my wife and kid, you mess with me, bub. And even though I'm only a sophomore in high school..."

'I was right...' Sasori thought.

"And even though I'm only a sophomore in high school, I can still beat you up! I'm captain of the football team!"

No wonder it looks like you're an insomniac like that Gaara kid, Sasori thought. (2)

"Excuse me, can I help you with something, ma'am?"

Sasori had been absentmindedly fiddling with a black toddler's shirt with the slogan, "Hello my name is Trouble." (my little bro. has this shirt!)

SALVATION! Sasori thought. Oh great, now I'm starting to act like Hidan...

In fact, Sasori had been too absentminded to notice that the helper had called him Ma'am.

"Yes, well, you see," he said, turning away from the very angry family, "My spouse and I are expecting a baby in around 8 months, and people have told us it's always better to be prepared! So we need some clothes and supplies for our little bundle of joy."

The assistant, who had so foolishly thought Sasori was a girl, clasped her hands together and squealed.

"Oh that's wonderful! Is it a boy or a girl?"

The blonde girl, Danielle, opened her mouth to say that Sasori was a guy, but her son said, "Mom, it's rude to interrupt people when they are speaking."

She looked totally shocked for a second, and Sasori took that second to gloat in his moment of triumph, then she said, "That's right, Keiji. I forgot. Thank you for reminding me."

"Well? Boy or girl?"

Sasori turned back to the assistant. "Er, well, we haven't determined it yet...we might have twins..."

"Oh my gosh! Then you'll need a lot of clothes! You know, sometimes they say you can tell what gender your baby or babies are by the foods you crave. So what kinds of foods do you crave?"

"Er...well, I've been eating a lot of ice cream, popcorn balls, and gyoza lately..."

"What kind of gyoza?"

"Vegetable..." (3)

"OH...then you might be pregnant with fraternal twins. Studies show that women that are pregnant with girls eat a lot more sweets and women pregnant with boys eat a lot more vegetables and meat...Here! Let me show you these fine newborn clothes!"

And Sasori was dragged off, never getting his revenge on Danielle, as the assistant forced him to a rack of newborn clothes of varying shapes and sizes.

'Darn...I'll never get outa here...'

A/N: Lol. This was Chapter 3.

1. No offense to any high schoolers, I actually think high schoolers are pretty cool.

2. Because you know how football players put that black marker under their eyes to protect them from the glare...and it looks like they have insomnia.

3. Isn't vegetable the only type of gyoza? I don't know.

Anyway. Watch BLEACH! It's awesome!