Chapter 4 of this story...lol, I LOVE the reviews you guyz are giving me...you are so supportive of me during these troublesome times...(the week filled with the most hw because teachers don't want to let you off the hook RAWR! -.-) This is Zetsu's story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Deidara would be a girl and Haku would be a Sex Ed. teacher. On with the story.

Zetsu walked out the door of Wal-Mart, going over to the crosswalk to patiently wait for the walk sign. However, we all know just exactly how 'patient' a bloodthirsty, carnivorous, plant-human thingy can be when it smells fresh meat in the near future.

It was one of those terrible intersections where there's an arrow light at every traffic light so people never really do get the chance to walk across the street without getting hit by a car.
2 minutes later: He was tapping his foot on the sidewalk anxiously.
5 minutes later: He was tapping his foot anxiously and pressing the crosswalk button repeatedly.
7 minutes later: He was punching the crosswalk sign, making dents in it.

Then the red DO NOT WALK sign turned to the WALK sign. Zetsu ran across the street, and in his excitement, he knocked a little kid to the ground. He was stopped in the middle of the street by the very angry mother.

"Who the hll do you think you are, you mutated demented thing?! Just because you are a plant-human thingy does not give you the right to knock my kid down!"

The WALK sign had disappeared and the DO NOT WALK sign was blinking rapidly. The mother continued her rant.

"And I am not afraid of you even though you are a green plant-human thingy! You knocked my kid over, and I shall avenge him! (sounds like Sasuke huh?) And just because I am 5'2 and you are 6'0 + does not mean that I am scared of you! THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!"

Cars were honking from all sides now. Nobody really wanted to get charged with murder for killing three people, but one certain driver, a brunette in his twenties, had a screaming wife in the backseat who was currently in labor, and he REALLY couldn't wait. So BAM! He drove right through the intersection, really not wanting to get charged with murder, but not wanting to be killed by his wife later.

"Oh sht," Zetsu muttered, as he stared at the car that was zooming straight towards them. 'If I don't make it out of here alive, I'll never have the chance to taste that juicily delectable raw meat of cow!' he thought. And he was motivated. He grabbed the woman's hand, who in turn grabbed her kid's hand, and he dragged them to the other side of the street, to the sidewalk where they would be safe.

And the mother STILL continued her rant even AFTER he had saved her and her kid from possible death.

'I wonder...how she would taste,' Zetsu thought, not absorbing a word she said about how her kid had been touched by a green plant-human thingy and about how she was gonna sue Zetsu for infecting her child with bacteria, 'She looks pretty tasty...but I'd probably DIE of heartburn eating all that HAIR...my god, it looks like she has more hair than Itachi and Deidara COMBINED! And besides, I'm probably gonna puke if I eat another person too soon...' He was having a flashback of the last major battle they'd had. Leader had abused his ability to eat people...

"Hey Zetsu! Eat this one! And this one too! Ooh, you might want to lick up that puddle of blood over there, we can't afford the popo(1) after us again, not after we already have a record from the time Deidara blew up 2 whole city blocks in San Francisco..."

The mother was still yelling at him as he walked into Vons, making a beeline for the meat section.

He walked up to the counter, observing all the different kinds of meats they had on sale. Now that he was actually here, he wanted to make sure that he got the best quality food possible. He didn't want to get food poisoning like last time...they'd had to get the bathroom remodeled after that...it was a terrible time...

Anyway...his eyes wandered over the different meats. 'Pork? Nah...had that last night. Fish? Ugh..fish make me sick...Goat? Who the heck eats goat??? Chicken? Nah...we can always just kill one of Deidara's birds and pluck it and roast it...Aha! BEEF!'

He looked at the guy who was standing across the counter from him, behind the displayed meats.

"Er, excuse me, could I buy that...?"

"Like dude! You're like...green! That is so rad! And look, your hair is green too! You got WICKED highlights man!"

"..."

'What the heck is he saying?' Zetsu wondered. 'Is this what guys talk like these days? If that's the case, then I'm so out of it!'

"Well, anyway, I'd like to buy that meat over there..."

"Like tcha! I can't believe it! You're GREEN! Oh My Gosh...are you Johnny Depp? I can see the resemblance! Wow! I never knew you dyed your hair and skin green, Johnny! Can I have your autograph???"

"I just want to buy that..."

"Here!" The butcher guy had already fished out a pen from one of his many pockets and said, "Sign right here! On my forehead! Yes! I've never gotten any autographs of famous people except for Anna Nicole Smith, but when she died, you know, I sold it to get some money, but then I blew it off on a new car ya know, so now I have this worthless job...but still! Johnny Depp's autograph! I'll show it to my grandkids...and then I'll tell them how I met you...right here, in the meat section..."

"Er...okay..."

'I'd best do what he wants...' Zetsu thought... 'and then afterwards I'll get my meat. Maybe he'll give it to me free because he thinks I'm a celebrity...that I've never even heard of...'

He took the black marker and scrawled "Johnny Depp" across the guy's forehead.

"Like totally! I can't believe it! I got Johnny Depp to sign my forehead! I'll never wash this forehead again! Like, I never thought that Johnny Depp would come to VONS of all places, and to MY SECTION...Oh My Gosh. I figured it out! It must be karma coming back to thank me for that time when I helped out this homeless dude on the sidewalk, ya know...I gave him a loaf of bread and some meat and half my paycheck, and he thanked me because he needed to feed his wife and kids too ya know..."

And the guy was going on a total rant. Zetsu sighed. 'I'd be better off just killing the dmn cow myself...since I'll never get anywhere with this guy...'

1. Since I figure nobody really knows what the Akatsuki Leader's personality is or what he looks like, and since this is MY story, I'm gonna make him...ghetto. Popo is another word for police right??? Because fuzz sounded too...odd, and police just sounded stupid. Hence the word: Popo.

Have a great day you guys and read my other stories, kay?