This isn't really a chapter in the Akatsuki story, but just go along with it. I know you're dying to know what that "difference" between the Leader and Orochimaru was. So here is the bonus chapter! All dialogue. If you have not seen or read Winnie the Pooh, please don't bother yourself with reading this. You won't understand it, and nothing is worse than people who don't have enough experience to understand the humor, unless it is flying pigs carrying sporks to remake 9/11. It might make some sense if you have SEEN a picture of Winnie the Pooh, but it's better if you've seen the movies or read the books.

"Leader?"

"Yes, Orochimaru?"

"Well, I was kinda wondering...why do you use Winnie the Pooh as a stress reliever? I mean, why not Christopher Robin or something?"

"Well, Orochimaru, Christopher Robin is a boy."

"Does that make a difference?"

"Yes, indeed it does. I, once upon a time, used to be Christopher Robin's father, until he tragically drowned in that horrible flood that destroyed all of the Hundred Acre Woods."

"So...why do you have something against Winnie the Pooh? It's not like HE started the flood..."

"No, that is quite true. Even though Pooh may be a plotter at heart, he does not have the power to make the clouds pss." (1)

"Ah...so then why do you have issues about him?"

"I have several about him. To tell them all would take forever."

"Can I hear just a few of them?"

"Since you are my comrade and drinking buddy, I shall oblige...just this once...First off, have you noticed that Pooh is wearing a shirt?"

"Yes...I know that Pooh is wearing a shirt..."

"And you notice what color it is, right?"

"Red...isn't it?"

"Yes, red indeed. That states three things. First off, red is not a color to wear when you are mortally obese and if you have serious self confidence issues to be that fat. Second, this also emphasizes the fact that Pooh is making fun of the Akatsuki. HOW DARE A STUFFED BEAR MAKE FUN OF ME?! And last but not least, it also emphasizes the fact that shifty eyes Pooh is...NOT WEARING PANTS!"

"OH EM GEE..."

"Yes. I mean, he has the sense to wear a shirt, why doesn't he have the sense to wear pants?!"

"Maybe there were no pants in his size?"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! OMAEDA HAS PANTS THAT HE CAN WEAR! AND HE'S LIKE 300 POUNDS! Unless, of course, Pooh weighs more than Omaeda...(2)"

"Please, Leader, don't go comparing Pooh to other hosts from other talk shows."

"That's not the point, Orochimaru. Pooh is mortally obese. And besides, he is NOT WEARING PANTS. I mean, if you aren't going to wear pants, why don't you just go naked then?! And Pooh gave Christopher Robin 6 months in therapy! My poor boy...his first trip into the Hundred Acre Woods he saw a naked bear and was mentally scarred for life..."

"He's a stuffed animal, Leader...not like he had any "parts" worth mentioning."

"AND WHAT IS A POOH? FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A PROPER NAME! I mean, Winnie. That is a girl's name. Why does a BOY bear have a GIRL'S name? And if Winnie the Pooh is his name, Winnie would be his first name, The his second, and Pooh his last. THAT'S THE STUPIDEST NAME I HAVE EVER HEARD!"

"Well, Leader, maybe a POOH is a sort of bear."

"A POOH? A POOH?! MY GOD! DO YOU THINK THERE IS A BEAR IN THE WORLD CALLED A POOH?! USE SOME COMMON SENSE, MICHAEL JACKSON WITH THE NOSE!!"

"HEY! DON'T INSULT ME!"

"I WILL INSULT YOU AS I WISH!"

and then if you wish to read the rest of this discussion, please turn to Chapter 7, and read on from there. This is the end of this story of Akatsuki crack. More stories coming soon.

1. When I was little and I saw it raining, I always used the say "Daddy! Your car is getting dirty because the clouds are peeing on it!" How naive I was...

2. Omaeda's from Bleach. He's the second division's lieutenant and he is like 300 pounds. No joke.

Please go and read Deidara Yeah's Survival Guide. Everybody is asking for more Akatsuki crack and it is really pissing me off that you're asking for it without reading Deidara Yeah's Survival Guide! Jeez people...

Ok I'm not pissed off at you guys anymore, but go and read it and review please! Oh, and recommend it to all your friends if you find it good! Ok, bai bai!