Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, and all of the clever clever quotes belong to Oscar Wilde.

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"So, Pony, how was school?" Darry asked.

"Ok, I guess.." Pony sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Well..nothing...it's just...This girl started flirtin' with me today, and I don't know if she wants me to ask her out, or if she was just teasin', or what..."

"A woman will flirt with anyone in the world, so long as the other women are looking on." Two-Bit said.

Darry raised an eyebrow. But Pony turned his attention to Two-Bit, " Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well...when they do that, how do you know what they mean?"

"Pony, if you really want to know what a woman means, which is dangerous, always look at her but never listen."

Pony was listening intently at this point, " But she's kinda...out of my league.."

"The husbands of very beautiful women usually belong to the criminal classes."

Pony nodded, " So..what..is there...some..specific way I should act...or not act around her?"

"If a man is a gentleman,he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is likely to be bad for him."

Ponyboy was about to say something when Darry stood up and said, " Pony, go do your homework."

Pony sighed, but got up and went to his room to do his homework.

As soon as Darry heard Pony's door close, he turned to Two-Bit, " I knew it was you!"

"What?"

"You stole my book!"

"...Maybe.."

"Give it back. Now."

"What? Now? Um..I can't now."

"Give it back."

"Come on, Dare. I got a date tonight using this stuff. I think it's total bull shit, but the girls love it."

"Give it back."

"But I need it for tonight!"

"Give it back."

"Damnit, Darry.It's like talking to a brick wall, you aint even listenin' to me!"

"Yeah, well, I like talking to a brick wall, I find it is the only thing that never contradicts me." Darry smirked.

"Wise ass" Two-Bit muttered. He got his jacket and took the book out of the inside pocket. " You aint gunna hit me with this when I give it back, right?"

"Right."

Two-Bit handed the book to Darry.

Darry smacked Two-Bit with the book.

"Why'd you do that? You just said you wouldn't!" Two-Bit yelled.

"I can resist everything except temptation." Darry smirked and went to his bed room.

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