Sniff sniff. Confrontation makes me sad, though you'd never know that, would you?
I promise, the new chapter of Fight Your Way Out won't take THAT long to write. I already know what's going to happen, I just need to, um, write it.
Anyway, enjoy!
And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt
-"Sympathy"The Goo Goo Dolls
Corny had begun to make it a ritual; he came to the studio with Amber every day, tagged along like a puppy dog that didn't have a home. It had seemed sweet and loving at first, and now, after almost a week of it, she had begun to resent him for it. He would watch her guardedly throughout the entire show, and it added an extra dose of paranoia to her already overwhelming day. The fact that Link would try and kiss her again, or touch her in some unexpected way, it made her fear that Corny would see, and go completely berserk.
It wasn't that she could blame him; if she had seen another girl touching or kissing Corny, she would probably have ripped her hair out. Still, things were always different from two completely opposite sides. Amber knew what had happened that day, with the kiss. She knew that Link had kissed her, and not the other way around. She knew that it had been soft; a comfort kiss, as she liked to call it. She knew all of those things, and Corny didn't. What she didn't know, however, was why she couldn't stop thinking about it.
By the time they were ready to leave, Amber was dreading the car ride home. Corny had seemed so sullen and withdrawn lately, and from the way he was chewing on his lip, she knew he was ready to explode. She knew before even getting into the car that they were going to fight. She'd seen that look enough on his face; had provoked it out of him as a teenager, and now, here it was again.
They cascaded through the streets of Baltimore, water from the rain that still fell from the sky splashing up and onto their car, drenching the windows and causing Amber to groan.
"Ugly day," Corny murmured from his seat beside her, "How appropriate."
She clenched the steering wheel, looking over at him curiously.
"What do you mean?" She would go down with this ship; she would fight any sort of confrontation until she absolutely could go no further. Her back ached, her feet hurt, and she was tired. The fetus inside of her was draining every last drop of energy that she had.
"I would think you already know." He turned to look at her, and she felt her heart beginning to race. She shook her head, turning into the parking lot of Sophie's dance studio and looking over at him as she put the car in park.
"What are you talking about, Corny?"
He turned his head away from her and Amber sighed, slipping out of the car and into the building. She found Sophie quickly, and the little girl followed her out, ballet shoes toeing the ground silently as she walked.
"What's wrong now?" Sophie asked, furrowing her eyebrows, causing Amber to turn and look at her suspiciously. "Are you and Daddy fighting again?"
"No." Amber answered. At least not yet.
Sophie's eyes went wide suddenly, a small gasp escaping her lips.
"Oh no! Amber, did he find out about you kissing Link?" She asked, a little too loudly for Amber's comfort. The blonde woman narrowed her eyes suddenly, leaning down to Sophie's level and grasping her wrist.
"I didn't kiss him, Sophie," she hissed the words at her, "Remember that. I did not kiss him." She repeated the last sentence slowly, and Sophie took a step back, watching her fearfully.
"Fine. Did Daddy find out about Link kissing you?" She glared up at her, and Amber felt her shoulders slump.
"I don't know. No."
She turned, beginning to walk toward the car, slower this time, and Sophie followed.
"Amber, I think you need to start dancing with Link when he rehearses," she suggested quietly. Amber turned to look at her again, her eyebrows arching in confusion.
"Why?"
"Well," Sophie cleared her throat softly, "I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but, well." She looked around before lowering her voice, "Your belly's getting kind of big." She shot Amber a sympathetic look.
Amber's face flushed, but she rolled her eyes and continued to walk, ignoring the innocent comment.
"Thanks, Soph. That's real nice of you to say."
They slid into the car and Sophie leaned up, placing a quick peck on Corny's cheek. Amber happily listened to Sophie's chattering; anything to distract her from the deadly silence that fell between her and Corny.
"Daddy, do you think Amber's belly is getting kind of big?" Sophie asked from the backseat, and Amber slammed on the brakes at a stop sign, causing the three of them to lurch violently.
"Damnit, Sophie, be quiet!" Amber shot her a glare in the rearview mirror, and she furrowed her brows angrily.
"I told you I'm not being mean!" She defended herself suddenly, "It just is, and there's nothing wrong with that!"
"It's not getting big!" Her voice was getting shrill, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Corny studying the small bump beneath her dress from his position behind her. She swallowed hard. This was not how he was going to find out about this; no way in Hell. She turned around quickly, glaring at the child.
"Sophie, shut your mouth now."
"You can't tell me what to do," she shot back quickly, "Daddy, tell her."
"I can so tell you what to do," Amber retorted, "I'm the closest thing to a mother that you've got."
"You are not my mother!" Sophie's voice was shrill.
"Sophie. Amber. Shut. Up." Corny glared at both of them, and they fell into an awkward silence for the rest of the ride home.
As they arrived home and climbed out of the car, Amber saw Sophie slip her fingers into Corny's palm; undoubtedly some kind of unspoken confirmation that she was on his side in this war that was inevitably going to happen between them. That was fine, she told herself as she pushed into the house and started for the kitchen. She had been by herself her entire life; Corny was the first person she'd ever let herself depend on. She could stand up for herself, be alone. It was all the same to her. At least that's what she told herself.
She threw open the freezer door, pulling out a box of frozen TV dinners and letting them fall onto the stove. She didn't hear Corny enter the kitchen behind her, and when she turned, she nearly hit into him, and gasped loudly.
"Shit, Corny, you scared the-"
"Why do you do this, Amber?" He cut her words off, and she watched him cautiously, unconsciously pushing her back against the refrigerator.
"What?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"All of this." He looked away from her for a moment, attempting to keep his voice low. "You're just not happy until everyone else around you is miserable, are you?"
His words cut her deep, and she felt her mouth go dry.
"What are you talk-"
"You know what I'm talking about, Amber." His words were sharp, his eyes now locked on her face. "About this stuff with Sophie, you two always arguing. About the show, and Link, and my back."
She was slightly taken aback; sure, arguing with Sophie was something she could do a little less, but she had nothing to do with the other things he had mentioned. Well, that wasn't exactly true, either, but she definitely did not cause problems with them. She couldn't help it that trouble just looked for her.
"I have nothing to do with the show, and Link, and your back," she spat back at him, "It's not like I pushed you down the stairs."
"No, you didn't," he sneered, "but if you hadn't been over there flirting with Link, I wouldn't be like this now. I wouldn't have tripped, and I would be fine."
"Flirting?" Her cheeks flushed, and she glared at him, "I wasn't flirting with anyone!" She swallowed hard, "So, you're saying I'm to blame for what happened to you?"
"Maybe I am." His eyes narrowed at her, "It seems like you're to blame for a lot of bad shit that's happening around here."
She felt her heart pounding in her chest, and glared at him, her blue eyes moist with tears that she was determined not to let slip out.
"You're talking about the show?" She let a small ironic chuckled slip past her lips, "Corny, I am the one who is responsible for the show. If I didn't find somebody to replace you, you wouldn't even have a goddamn show to go back to!"
"So you just had to choose Link, didn't you?" He was livid now, his cheeks flushed red, and she pushed away from him, out of the trap he had created between himself and the refrigerator.
"God, Corny, jealousy does not look good on you." She rolled her eyes at him, "I'm not talking about this," she decided suddenly. The last thing she needed right now was added stress in her life, in her condition, whatever condition she was in, exactly.
"Too bad," he followed her into the living room, where Sophie sat on the couch. As the two of them entered the room, her eyes moved to watch them silently. "I'm not finished talking about it."
Amber turned on him suddenly.
"Well then talk to yourself about it, because that's the only person you're interested in now, anyway!" She glared at him, "You have done nothing for me, or for Sophie, since you've gotten hurt. All you ever do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself, you pathetic asshole." She rolled her eyes, "Oh, is that my fault, too? Did I forget to throw you a pity party?"
"It would be nice to have a little sympathy," he shot back, "but I guess you're too damn busy at that studio with Link to remember me, aren't you? You're such a pain in the ass, Amber."
"Oh Jesus, Corny," she shook her head, "Don't tell me about being busy, you jackass. I have been raising your daughter, working over forty hours a week, taking care of you when you couldn't even get out of bed. I've been cooking your dinner, helping Sophie with her homework." She bit her tongue, she wouldn't even mention the fact that she was carrying his child, and felt obnoxiously ill at all times. "So don't tell me that I've been neglecting you. Everything I have been doing is because of you."
He clenched his jaw, and let his eyes look at Sophie, who watched them intently.
"Go to your room, Sophie." His voice was deep, serious, and the child scampered off without a sound. He turned his attention back to Amber, lowering his voice and his gaze.
"I don't want her to hear this bullshit." He said the words evenly, and she tried to keep her gaze steady, on him. She was afraid, for a moment, that he might try to hurt her, and thought suddenly of the baby. Should she tell him now? In case something happened? She decided against the thought almost immediately, and let her steely blue eyes gaze back at him. He swallowed hard, and turned away from her for a moment. "I'm going to give you a shadow of a doubt here, Amber." He looked back at her, staring at her face. She could feel her cheeks burning hot, and wondered what would happen if she vomited on the floor right now.
"I want you to tell me what the fuck happened between you and Link."
She swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly coated with a sticky, dry layer or something that she couldn't get rid of.
"N-nothing," she stammered suddenly, looking up at him, "Wait, what do you mean?"
Corny rolled his eyes, sighing loudly before clenching his jaw again.
"You know what I mean. Did you kiss him?"
The words came as such a total shock that she found herself stumbling backwards, and had to catch herself. The flush that ran through her face at that moment surely led him to believe that anything she said from this point on was a total lie.
"No!" She shot back suddenly, her voice shrill. "Who told you that?"
"It doesn't matter who told me," he glared at her, "What the hell does that matter, Amber?"
"Because it's not true!" She shot back, "We didn't-I mean, I didn't do...nothing happened!"
"Really?" He sneered at her, "Because that's not what I've heard. I tried to confront Link about it, but that little chicken shit wouldn't talk to me." She tried to find the Corny she knew in those eyes; the one that had always joked with her, the one she had grown up around. All she saw was the anger, and suddenly, she knew that she was the one responsible for that.
"Sophie." She said her name quietly, indicting herself without even realizing it. "She told you, didn't she?"
"No, she didn't." His words had a sharp edge to them, "And don't try to make this about her, Amber. You are not going to blame her for all of your stupid ass, thoughtless decisions."
She felt the tears burning her eyes, and her jaw beginning to tremble. She balled her fingers into tight fists at her side, her eyes watching him.
"Don't call me stupid, you moron!" She yelled the words back at him, and he caught her by the wrist as she turned on her heels to go.
"You are stupid, Amber. If you are willing to give up everything we have because some goddamn ex-boyfriend of yours swoops back into town, then you are an idiot."
"I'm not…I didn't…" she groaned loudly, throwing her head back, the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, "I don't want that!"
"Then tell me the truth." His words were firm, unwavering. "Did you kiss him?"
"No!" She cried again, louder this time, "He did, Corny." She admitted the last words softly, looking away from him. "He kissed me, okay?"
Corny's eyes flashed dark, and he furrowed his eyebrows at her.
"Okay?" He asked, shaking his head, "No, it's not okay. Did you tell him that; that it wasn't okay?"
"Yes, of course," she whispered, even though she couldn't remember saying much of anything to him about it. They had avoided speaking about it since it had happened, and she had been too shocked at the time to say anything, much less to reprimand him for it.
"Did you?" He asked again, almost disbelieving. "Did you like it?"
"What?" She cried the word, looking up at him incredulously. "No, of course not! I didn't-it wasn't…" she stopped, dropping her head. "We're just friends. It was just a friendly kiss, Corny." Even saying the words, she felt stupid.
He watched her for a moment, and she blinked back the tears, attempting to swallow down the guilt he had thrust upon her.
"Yeah." He snorted softly, his eyes still watching her. "Friends, my ass."
She pursed her lips together, watching him, pleading with him. She was tempted to drop to her knees before him, to beg him to forgive her for all of the mistakes she'd made recently. Another part of her suddenly wanted to tell him that she was pregnant; it was a desperate attempt to save their relationship, but she couldn't do that. Not right now.
"Well next time he starts to give you a 'friendly' kiss, you tell him that your fiancée will kick his ass. Do you understand me?" He was watching her, and she could do little more than nod. He turned on her suddenly, making his way slowly towards his bedroom. She stood watching him dumbly, his hand falling on the knob before opening the door.
"Go back to your apartment tonight, Amber."
It was the first time he had ever said those words to her.
