-Rated R for- Drama, Language, Slash, Sexual Content
-Spoilers- All five books.
-Summery- This is a Harry/Draco fic that happens in the sixth year. Draco
finds out that sometimes feelings are mixed up.
-- Hidden Desires
Chapter 8
Holy
Draco awoke with the warm tender rays of sunshine shining through the window next to his bed. He truly detested the sunlight. He preferred a practically pitch black night where all that is truly visible are the stars above. Getting out of bed, he hurried and got dressed then headed for breakfast down in the Great Hall.
He found his way over to the Slytherin table and took a seat in his usual spot. Just then Pansy entered the Great Hall and in almost a jog she hurried to the Slytherin table and sat down next to Draco. "Morning, sexy," she said with a happy grin. "So, what happened last night?"
Draco grabbed some buttered toast and placed it on his plate. "Nothing really," he mumbled.
"What? All those hours together and nothing? Nothing? Why am I playing with his ex-girlfriend's affections if you're not getting any action from him, Draco? Why?" she said almost too loudly.
Draco shushed her. "Shut up, Pansy. Don't be some damn loud."
"Well sorry," she said half heartedly while curling her lip.
"Although, something sort of strange did happen," he said thoughtfully.
"Ooh!" she squealed excitedly. "What? What happened? I knew you were holding out on me. I knew you wouldn't leave me disappointed! What happened?"
"He said," the Slytherin boy slightly stuttered, "He said, he wanted to help me."
"Help you? Help you how?" she asked while taking a large bite of a muffin and filling her cheeks which made her look slightly like a chipmunk.
"Help me get cured," he said.
"Oh damn. I thought you were going to say he wanted to help you in bed or something," she said with a disappointed wave of a hand making Draco turned an odd shade of pink. "Wait? Cured? You never told me anything about a disease.."
"Not a disease. Well, yeah sort of a disease I suppose. It's just a theory of mine really."
"Involving?"
He explained to him about his hunch about his mother's words having such deep magical impact on him. After he finished telling her, she sat there was a thoughtful look upon her face.
"Well, it does make sense it some ways. The whole part about you loving someone that you really hate, I guess. But it still doesn't explain a lot of things, Draco. How in the hell are you supposed to cure something like that?"
"If I knew, I probably would have been cured by now," he said sarcastically. "Really, I have no fucking clue anymore. It's driving me insane sometimes. When he his near me and even when he's not anywhere close at all. It's like my head is flying all over the place with strange thoughts of him."
"Oh! Do you get wetdreams or anything?" she asked with widened eyes leaving Draco with an even more horrified look.
"What? No, Pansy! No!" he practically shouted.
She giggled. "Would you really mind, anyway?" He nodded his head in disgust.
Just then both of their eyes wandered over towards the entrance to the Great Hall as Harry Potter himself carelessly walked in.
"He's very suave," Pansy commented.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Draco while downing some pumpkin juice.
"He's just smooth. The way he walks and such. He has that 'whatever' air about him," she explained.
"I guess," Draco warbled through a full mouth of bacon.
"Ugh. Must you talk with your mouth full?"
"Fuck off, Pansy."
o-o-o
The classes were especially boring that day. Since many of the students were doing horribly they were reviewing a lot of the work they had done the previous year. Snape didn't believe in reviewing though. He was having them start brewing their love potions in the freshly cleaned cauldrons (courtesy of Harry and Draco the previous night).
Harry and Hermione exited the Potions dungeon. Hermione let out a sigh of annoyance that Harry could recognize from anywhere. "What's up?" he asked.
"Snape," she said in a very quiet whisper as if he would be around every corner eavesdropping on their conversation. "I don't know what he is trying to pull with this potion. Have you noticed that their isn't even an actual magical name for it and that he didn't get it from any of our books?"
"I'm very surprised in you," Harry said. She gave him a questioning look. "Well, it's not like you to question a teacher's authority."
"Well I know that, yes. But in his case he can be well.. rather strange," she whispered even more quietly as they walked along.
"And it's taken you this long to realize it? Really Hermione. I thought you were supposed to be the really clever one," he stated with a grin.
"Oh shush, you," she said with a laugh.
Just then Hermione colliding with someone and fell to the floor. She looked up to see who it was and saw Draco Malfoy, who had dropped his books. "Damn it," he mumbled as he collected them and returned them to his bag and hurried off.
"What in the world?" Hermione asked herself then looked up at Harry. "He totally knocked me down and didn't even make a snide remark about it. In fact, he acted as if he was so preoccupied that he didn't notice that I was even here. He's crazy."
"Did you just notice that too?" Harry asked but he his grin faded some. He wasn't sure why.
"No," she said as she started gathered her things and Harry bent down to help, "No way. I noticed that a long time ago." He nodded.
"He has been acting awfully strange. He doesn't seem to even be himself. It's like he doesn't have the energy to insult us. And remember yesterday in Potions class? He defended you. You! Of all people. He hates you so much."
"I know," Harry mumbled as he picked up her last book that had fallen.
She eyed him suspiciously. "What's going on, Harry? Something is going on and you're not letting me in on it."
"Really, Hermione. Nothing is going on," he said as truthfully as he possibly could. As far as he was concerned nothing was going on.
He stood up and helped her up. She gave a sigh. "Are you sure Harry? If there is anything happening that's strange.. You know, I get worried."
"I know and I don't know what you're expecting to hear, but I have nothing of importance to tell you right now," he said almost formally.
"Fine," she responded softly. She decided to change the subject. "So, what is Professor Snape making you do for detention this time?" she asked while eyeing his detention slip.
"It's stupid. I have to clean the floors of the Potions' Dungeon tonight."
"What about Malfoy?"
"I don't know, he hasn't told me yet."
"So, Harry. You talk to him now? Are you acquaintances? When did this come about?" she had a look of victory on her face.
Harry furrowed his brows. "Hermione, just quit it."
"I'm not going to stop until I get to the bottom of your little Malfoy mystery!" she chirped excitedly.
Harry gagged at the sound of the last four words. "There is no mystery. There is nothing."
Hermione smirked. "Right, Harry. Nothing."
o-o-o
After dinner later that night, Draco headed out into the hallway. He had barely touched his food because he was feeling so nauseous about and nervous about seeing Harry. He didn't know what that night held but he couldn't wait much longer.
He entered the Potions' Dungeon and began to wait. Snape came in later and eyed him suspiciously. "Why are you here early?" he asked.
"Uh, just had some extra time and didn't anything to do," Draco responded. The teacher sneered.
About fifteen minutes later (but it felt like forever to Draco) passed and Harry came in.
"Late again, Potter," Snape said with a sickening smile. "We'll just have to add another day on to your detention."
He gave them instructions for their detention that night. It would have been simple, just cleaning the floors. If only the floors weren't extremely filthy and had dried potions that had spilled on them before. And of course, they were not allowed to use magic.
He gave them a bucket and two mops and a rag or two. "I have work to attend to in my office. Now hurry up and get working," he said with a slam of the door.
"Bastard," Draco mumbled.
"You can say that again," Harry agreed. It felt strange to him to be talking to Malfoy like this. Like they were friends or something of the sort. Only they weren't friends and Malfoy acted like he was madly in love with him. He kept trying to change his thoughts to something cheerier, but it didn't work. With Malfoy so close to him all he could think of was the Slytherin boy. He was discovering that the other really wasn't as horrible as he always believed he was. This was hard for him to really admit to himself, but he found no way around it. Draco Malfoy was not completely evil.
They would make comments about Snape every once in a while but that was the extent of their conversation. Then Snape himself would come in and check on them just to make sure they're still working and bark a few insults about their work. Hours had passed and it was well passed the time when students should be in bed. Finally Snape entered and dismissed them both.
They entered the pitch black hallway and began to walk quietly. Draco looked outside and noticed the stars were strangely bright. He stopped walking for a moment just so he could look at them.
Harry too stopped and looked at the Slytherin boy with curiousity. "What are you doing?" he asked in a whisper.
"Just looking."
"At what?"
"The sky," Draco mumbled.
"The sky?" Harry repeated while putting a hand through his own pitch black hair.
"Yeah."
"I didn't think you appreciated things like the sky," Harry commented.
"I always have. It's just, I've come to like it more lately," he turned and faced the other boy. "You think I hate everything just because I've always hated you?"
Harry thought it was a dumb question. "No," he answered, "But it's hard for me to get used to you acting like this. It's strange."
Draco took a deep breath. He noticed how Harry hadn't been acting as impatient or annoyed as usual that night. He took a few steps toward him.
"It's strange for me too. I don't really have the energy anymore. I can't even find joy in insulting you stupid Gryffindors now."
Harry frowned. "Seems like you're not having any trouble now.."
Just then Draco reached out and touched Harry's face. He caressed it gently with his hand then took another step closer. He felt that Harry was going to jerk away and whispered, "Please, don't turn away from me yet." Looking confused Harry stood there. As if he were planted in the spot. Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry in a soft manner on the lips. This was the third time this had happened. He was surprised that Harry had listened and hadn't shoved him away yet. Draco took a step away and looked at Harry in the eyes with curiosity. "You.. you didn't push me or yell at me," he stuttered.
Harry looked horrified. "Why'd you do that, Draco?"
"I don't know. Because I had to. Because I wanted to. Why did you let me?"
Harry expression didn't change. "I'm not sure. Because I had to. Because I wanted to."
Draco frowned at first then he understood. Harry grabbed him by the robes and slammed him up against the wall making Draco yell in pain.
"What did you to me, Malfoy? Slipped me some kind of potion in my juice at breakfast? Cast some kind of annoying spell on me? I know you know loads of dark magic. What did you do?"
Draco tried to overpower Harry's grip but found he couldn't. "I didn't do anything."
Harry shook his head then let go of the Slytherin boy and began to pace back and forth. "I did not just let him kiss me. I did not. I couldn't have.." he said angrily.
"Yes you did," Draco said with his eyebrow raised.
Harry seemed oblivious to him at the moment. He still paced back and forth repeating the same words over again.
"Yes you did!" Draco practically yelled and rushed forth and grabbed Harry by the sleeve forcing the other to face him. "Yes you did," he repeated more solemnly. "You let me kiss you."
Harry looked outraged. "Me? Let you kiss me? Never, Malfoy. Never." He backed away from the blonde haired boy and tried to avoid his tauntingly beautiful gray eyes.
"It could have been worse," Draco grinned.
"No! It couldn't have been. The last person I would ever let kiss me is you. It's like me kissing dirt, only I'm sure it's cleaner than you," Harry sneered.
Draco gave a hurtful look at the other. "What the hell are you on about?"
"I am better than this," Harry whispered.
"You think you're better?" Draco repeated. "Who the fuck do you think you are now? Do you think you're that holy that you can't stoop down to my level? Standing there is some kind of sickening Jesus Christ pose. I am not beneath you."
"Whatever," Harry had seemed to calm down some. "I have to go," he said to outloud but mostly to himself.
He began running as Draco said, "It still doesn't change the fact that you allowed me to kiss you."
When Harry reached the Gryffindor Common Room he was in a sweat. He said the password and ran inside and rushed straight up to his dorm and into his four poster bed.
"I didn't let him kiss me," he thought to himself. "I didn't let him.."
He lay awake for hours in a deep nervous sweat.
Right before he drifted off to sleep a final thought crossed his mind.
"I let Draco Malfoy kiss me."
The End of this Chapter.
Note: It's sort of strange, but it is 1:30 AM after all. I just had to finish this chapter. I will being updating soon.
Please review!
-- Hidden Desires
Chapter 8
Holy
Draco awoke with the warm tender rays of sunshine shining through the window next to his bed. He truly detested the sunlight. He preferred a practically pitch black night where all that is truly visible are the stars above. Getting out of bed, he hurried and got dressed then headed for breakfast down in the Great Hall.
He found his way over to the Slytherin table and took a seat in his usual spot. Just then Pansy entered the Great Hall and in almost a jog she hurried to the Slytherin table and sat down next to Draco. "Morning, sexy," she said with a happy grin. "So, what happened last night?"
Draco grabbed some buttered toast and placed it on his plate. "Nothing really," he mumbled.
"What? All those hours together and nothing? Nothing? Why am I playing with his ex-girlfriend's affections if you're not getting any action from him, Draco? Why?" she said almost too loudly.
Draco shushed her. "Shut up, Pansy. Don't be some damn loud."
"Well sorry," she said half heartedly while curling her lip.
"Although, something sort of strange did happen," he said thoughtfully.
"Ooh!" she squealed excitedly. "What? What happened? I knew you were holding out on me. I knew you wouldn't leave me disappointed! What happened?"
"He said," the Slytherin boy slightly stuttered, "He said, he wanted to help me."
"Help you? Help you how?" she asked while taking a large bite of a muffin and filling her cheeks which made her look slightly like a chipmunk.
"Help me get cured," he said.
"Oh damn. I thought you were going to say he wanted to help you in bed or something," she said with a disappointed wave of a hand making Draco turned an odd shade of pink. "Wait? Cured? You never told me anything about a disease.."
"Not a disease. Well, yeah sort of a disease I suppose. It's just a theory of mine really."
"Involving?"
He explained to him about his hunch about his mother's words having such deep magical impact on him. After he finished telling her, she sat there was a thoughtful look upon her face.
"Well, it does make sense it some ways. The whole part about you loving someone that you really hate, I guess. But it still doesn't explain a lot of things, Draco. How in the hell are you supposed to cure something like that?"
"If I knew, I probably would have been cured by now," he said sarcastically. "Really, I have no fucking clue anymore. It's driving me insane sometimes. When he his near me and even when he's not anywhere close at all. It's like my head is flying all over the place with strange thoughts of him."
"Oh! Do you get wetdreams or anything?" she asked with widened eyes leaving Draco with an even more horrified look.
"What? No, Pansy! No!" he practically shouted.
She giggled. "Would you really mind, anyway?" He nodded his head in disgust.
Just then both of their eyes wandered over towards the entrance to the Great Hall as Harry Potter himself carelessly walked in.
"He's very suave," Pansy commented.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Draco while downing some pumpkin juice.
"He's just smooth. The way he walks and such. He has that 'whatever' air about him," she explained.
"I guess," Draco warbled through a full mouth of bacon.
"Ugh. Must you talk with your mouth full?"
"Fuck off, Pansy."
o-o-o
The classes were especially boring that day. Since many of the students were doing horribly they were reviewing a lot of the work they had done the previous year. Snape didn't believe in reviewing though. He was having them start brewing their love potions in the freshly cleaned cauldrons (courtesy of Harry and Draco the previous night).
Harry and Hermione exited the Potions dungeon. Hermione let out a sigh of annoyance that Harry could recognize from anywhere. "What's up?" he asked.
"Snape," she said in a very quiet whisper as if he would be around every corner eavesdropping on their conversation. "I don't know what he is trying to pull with this potion. Have you noticed that their isn't even an actual magical name for it and that he didn't get it from any of our books?"
"I'm very surprised in you," Harry said. She gave him a questioning look. "Well, it's not like you to question a teacher's authority."
"Well I know that, yes. But in his case he can be well.. rather strange," she whispered even more quietly as they walked along.
"And it's taken you this long to realize it? Really Hermione. I thought you were supposed to be the really clever one," he stated with a grin.
"Oh shush, you," she said with a laugh.
Just then Hermione colliding with someone and fell to the floor. She looked up to see who it was and saw Draco Malfoy, who had dropped his books. "Damn it," he mumbled as he collected them and returned them to his bag and hurried off.
"What in the world?" Hermione asked herself then looked up at Harry. "He totally knocked me down and didn't even make a snide remark about it. In fact, he acted as if he was so preoccupied that he didn't notice that I was even here. He's crazy."
"Did you just notice that too?" Harry asked but he his grin faded some. He wasn't sure why.
"No," she said as she started gathered her things and Harry bent down to help, "No way. I noticed that a long time ago." He nodded.
"He has been acting awfully strange. He doesn't seem to even be himself. It's like he doesn't have the energy to insult us. And remember yesterday in Potions class? He defended you. You! Of all people. He hates you so much."
"I know," Harry mumbled as he picked up her last book that had fallen.
She eyed him suspiciously. "What's going on, Harry? Something is going on and you're not letting me in on it."
"Really, Hermione. Nothing is going on," he said as truthfully as he possibly could. As far as he was concerned nothing was going on.
He stood up and helped her up. She gave a sigh. "Are you sure Harry? If there is anything happening that's strange.. You know, I get worried."
"I know and I don't know what you're expecting to hear, but I have nothing of importance to tell you right now," he said almost formally.
"Fine," she responded softly. She decided to change the subject. "So, what is Professor Snape making you do for detention this time?" she asked while eyeing his detention slip.
"It's stupid. I have to clean the floors of the Potions' Dungeon tonight."
"What about Malfoy?"
"I don't know, he hasn't told me yet."
"So, Harry. You talk to him now? Are you acquaintances? When did this come about?" she had a look of victory on her face.
Harry furrowed his brows. "Hermione, just quit it."
"I'm not going to stop until I get to the bottom of your little Malfoy mystery!" she chirped excitedly.
Harry gagged at the sound of the last four words. "There is no mystery. There is nothing."
Hermione smirked. "Right, Harry. Nothing."
o-o-o
After dinner later that night, Draco headed out into the hallway. He had barely touched his food because he was feeling so nauseous about and nervous about seeing Harry. He didn't know what that night held but he couldn't wait much longer.
He entered the Potions' Dungeon and began to wait. Snape came in later and eyed him suspiciously. "Why are you here early?" he asked.
"Uh, just had some extra time and didn't anything to do," Draco responded. The teacher sneered.
About fifteen minutes later (but it felt like forever to Draco) passed and Harry came in.
"Late again, Potter," Snape said with a sickening smile. "We'll just have to add another day on to your detention."
He gave them instructions for their detention that night. It would have been simple, just cleaning the floors. If only the floors weren't extremely filthy and had dried potions that had spilled on them before. And of course, they were not allowed to use magic.
He gave them a bucket and two mops and a rag or two. "I have work to attend to in my office. Now hurry up and get working," he said with a slam of the door.
"Bastard," Draco mumbled.
"You can say that again," Harry agreed. It felt strange to him to be talking to Malfoy like this. Like they were friends or something of the sort. Only they weren't friends and Malfoy acted like he was madly in love with him. He kept trying to change his thoughts to something cheerier, but it didn't work. With Malfoy so close to him all he could think of was the Slytherin boy. He was discovering that the other really wasn't as horrible as he always believed he was. This was hard for him to really admit to himself, but he found no way around it. Draco Malfoy was not completely evil.
They would make comments about Snape every once in a while but that was the extent of their conversation. Then Snape himself would come in and check on them just to make sure they're still working and bark a few insults about their work. Hours had passed and it was well passed the time when students should be in bed. Finally Snape entered and dismissed them both.
They entered the pitch black hallway and began to walk quietly. Draco looked outside and noticed the stars were strangely bright. He stopped walking for a moment just so he could look at them.
Harry too stopped and looked at the Slytherin boy with curiousity. "What are you doing?" he asked in a whisper.
"Just looking."
"At what?"
"The sky," Draco mumbled.
"The sky?" Harry repeated while putting a hand through his own pitch black hair.
"Yeah."
"I didn't think you appreciated things like the sky," Harry commented.
"I always have. It's just, I've come to like it more lately," he turned and faced the other boy. "You think I hate everything just because I've always hated you?"
Harry thought it was a dumb question. "No," he answered, "But it's hard for me to get used to you acting like this. It's strange."
Draco took a deep breath. He noticed how Harry hadn't been acting as impatient or annoyed as usual that night. He took a few steps toward him.
"It's strange for me too. I don't really have the energy anymore. I can't even find joy in insulting you stupid Gryffindors now."
Harry frowned. "Seems like you're not having any trouble now.."
Just then Draco reached out and touched Harry's face. He caressed it gently with his hand then took another step closer. He felt that Harry was going to jerk away and whispered, "Please, don't turn away from me yet." Looking confused Harry stood there. As if he were planted in the spot. Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry in a soft manner on the lips. This was the third time this had happened. He was surprised that Harry had listened and hadn't shoved him away yet. Draco took a step away and looked at Harry in the eyes with curiosity. "You.. you didn't push me or yell at me," he stuttered.
Harry looked horrified. "Why'd you do that, Draco?"
"I don't know. Because I had to. Because I wanted to. Why did you let me?"
Harry expression didn't change. "I'm not sure. Because I had to. Because I wanted to."
Draco frowned at first then he understood. Harry grabbed him by the robes and slammed him up against the wall making Draco yell in pain.
"What did you to me, Malfoy? Slipped me some kind of potion in my juice at breakfast? Cast some kind of annoying spell on me? I know you know loads of dark magic. What did you do?"
Draco tried to overpower Harry's grip but found he couldn't. "I didn't do anything."
Harry shook his head then let go of the Slytherin boy and began to pace back and forth. "I did not just let him kiss me. I did not. I couldn't have.." he said angrily.
"Yes you did," Draco said with his eyebrow raised.
Harry seemed oblivious to him at the moment. He still paced back and forth repeating the same words over again.
"Yes you did!" Draco practically yelled and rushed forth and grabbed Harry by the sleeve forcing the other to face him. "Yes you did," he repeated more solemnly. "You let me kiss you."
Harry looked outraged. "Me? Let you kiss me? Never, Malfoy. Never." He backed away from the blonde haired boy and tried to avoid his tauntingly beautiful gray eyes.
"It could have been worse," Draco grinned.
"No! It couldn't have been. The last person I would ever let kiss me is you. It's like me kissing dirt, only I'm sure it's cleaner than you," Harry sneered.
Draco gave a hurtful look at the other. "What the hell are you on about?"
"I am better than this," Harry whispered.
"You think you're better?" Draco repeated. "Who the fuck do you think you are now? Do you think you're that holy that you can't stoop down to my level? Standing there is some kind of sickening Jesus Christ pose. I am not beneath you."
"Whatever," Harry had seemed to calm down some. "I have to go," he said to outloud but mostly to himself.
He began running as Draco said, "It still doesn't change the fact that you allowed me to kiss you."
When Harry reached the Gryffindor Common Room he was in a sweat. He said the password and ran inside and rushed straight up to his dorm and into his four poster bed.
"I didn't let him kiss me," he thought to himself. "I didn't let him.."
He lay awake for hours in a deep nervous sweat.
Right before he drifted off to sleep a final thought crossed his mind.
"I let Draco Malfoy kiss me."
The End of this Chapter.
Note: It's sort of strange, but it is 1:30 AM after all. I just had to finish this chapter. I will being updating soon.
Please review!