-Rated R for- Drama, Language, Slash, Sexual Content

-Spoilers- All five books.

-Summery- This is a Harry/Draco fic that happens in the sixth year. Draco finds out that sometimes feelings are mixed up.

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Hidden Desires

Chapter 18

Inside Out

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He watched him move about in front of him. The way the other's past the shoulders perfectly kept black hair would fall in front of his dark eyes with equally dark lashes could keep him hypnotized forever. His movements weren't exactly graceful as he did another impression of their classmate Severus Snape and collapsed on the soft ground next to Remus. "This is stupid," Remus thought secretly to himself. It was stupid after all. Falling for your friend is a very foolish thing to do. But he convinced himself that he was only mesmerized by Sirius just the way everyone else was. Definitely not falling.

"Remus, Remus," James sighed dramatically after he said his classmates name, "Well he's just the cute little teacher's pet, now isn't he?"

"Watch out, James," warned Sirius in a theatrical manner. "He could give you detention."

"He would never!"

Sirius shook his head. "That boy.. Oh, he's a tough one." He then flashed a perfect white smile over towards their classmate who was currently sitting by a nearby tree immersed in a book and not amused by the newfound attention they had turned on him.

"Tough?" James repeated as if he hadn't quite Sirius correctly. "Maybe on a full moon.."

Peter fell over laughing as if someone made an incredibly funny joke. "Full moon! Full moon! Good one, James!" Sirius and James both looked at Peter in disbelief. Both seemed to be wondering why they still let him tag around with them. But of course, they had their reasons.

"What an ass," Sirius muttered glancing over at Peter then, again flashing Remus a grin.

Remus ignored it and finally looked over the top of his book at his classmates who so easily mocked him and his position. He knew that they were just joking; but regardless, it still bothered him. He stood up, brushed his robes off, then walked away from the three without so much as a word. He was tired that day and it showed. His usually neat dirty blonde hair was much messier than usual because he had forgotten to brush it. It's not like he really cared about his appearance anyway. He found caring about such things useless.

He walked into the castle that was seemed to be especially busy at this time. Students were roaming around and there was a sweet smell drifting around. He sniffed the air knowing that the house elves were located somewhere in the castle and were cooking at that very moment.

"Hey, Lupin!"

He quickly turned around and saw a face that he always welcomed. Lily Evans approached him with a warm smile that he found comforting. Her face matched the sweet scent in the air and her personality matched.

"Hello, Lily," he responded almost so quietly it was barely audible. He wondered why she had addressed him by his last name but he did not ask.

She continued walking on with a few friends still flashing the same smile in his direction.

But James liked Lily. He knew it. She knew it. And Lily liked James. Remus dwelled on it. It was not that he was lusting after the girl or anything like that at all. He only envied them. It could not be helped.

Sirius had someone as well. Actually, Sirius had many ones. He went through girls like he went through snide remarks that were directed towards their classmates of the Slytherin house.

Sirius could have anyone he wanted because Sirius was beautiful, charming, and didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought of him. Not even the girl's hearts that he broke on such a daily basis.

Remus envied this more.

It could not be helped.

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The Shrieking Shack wasn't really a pleasant place to be. The discolored wallpaper hung from the decaying wood of the walls, the floors creaked when a mouse ran over the surface, it smelled of rot, and mildew covered the ceilings. He came there regardless. He had to make a decision.

To escape from responsibility and the terrors that came with such a strenuous load was his greatest desire. He wanted to make the ringing taunts disappear from his head. That was why he came to this godforsaken place more than he needed to.

Sometimes he only felt worthless. He caused trouble when he didn't mean to and nobody really paid that much attention to him unless there was a full moon. To make it worse, his best friends didn't even give a damn about him. That's what ticked him off.

He inhaled, taking some dust in with the oxygen and sneezed.

"You come here more than it is necessary," said a soft low voice behind him.

Remus turned around and glanced up at Sirius, "Oh. Hi."

Sirus leaned against a nearby wall that made a creaking noise from the pressure despite the lightness of his frame.

"Oh, hi?"

"What?" Remus looked down towards the floor. He ignored the fact that Sirius seemed flabbergasted at the unfriendly greeting.

"What's up with you?" asked the dark haired boy, while running his finger over a dust covered table that he stood next to.

"Nothing," Remus lied. He could not look up or into Sirius' harsh gaze. He could not lie to those eyes.

Sirius stayed silent while watching his friend and shook his head. He withdrew from the wall and paced in front of him.

"You're a terrible liar."

"So what if I am?" Remus' tone was angrier now. He didn't feel like being nice. "You're a terrible friend!"

Sirius shook his head once more. "You don't mean that." His voice was cool and dry, perfectly matching his attitude. Something that disgusted and attracted Remus even more.

"You know what.. fuck you, Sirius. You don't even know I'm alive half the time," whined Remus bitterly.

Sirius turned around and stared at him for a moment. He looked at him as if he had never quite seen him properly before. "You're jealous?" he asked, with a quizzical look playing upon his fair features.

"No.." responded the other after a brief pause.

He pulled Remus up from where he sat by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey! What are you doing?" asked Remus, feeling confused. He couldn't figure out what the other boy's intentions were.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked at him hard in the eyes. "You're alive, Remus. How could anyone not notice you?"

Remus' mouth fell and contributed to the dumb look he was already wearing. "I.. I don't feel alive much anymore.." He wanted to kick himself for sounding so stupid and whiny, but he couldn't think straight when Sirius had his body pressed so tightly against his. What was he doing anyway?

Sirius smiled and ran a slender finger over the other boy's lower lip causing him to shiver.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, shifting in the spot uncomfortably.

Sirius took another eternity to look into his eyes. "You're such a sullen boy," he commented as he placed a delicate kiss in the corner of the other's soft pink lips. "And I just want to make you feel alive.."

Remus was frightened out of his mind. Something inside of him stirred.. actually, a few things stirred. But he had an overwhelming feeling in his stomach and had it somewhere near his heart as well.

Remus was falling in love.

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Author's note: Sorry for the lack of updates. I was really busy with some other engagements and didn't have the time to get to this. As you can see, this is breaking away from the normal story. Sort of like a bonus chapter. The last few chapters are coming up and this was something I had been wanting to do.

Thanks for all of the great reviews. Please continue reading and reviewing!