Freaky Cannibalistic Face Paint
Will wanders aimlessly through the forest and gets hopelessly lost. Then he sees Gibbs' canteen hanging from a bush.
Will: Gibbs?
Canteen: Haven't seen him. And frankly, I don't care if I ever do again, after he left me here to…
Will: Shut up. You're not supposed to have lines.
If the canteen had a face, it would be pouting right now.
Will starts to walk away but gets caught in a trap and is suddenly hanging upside-down by his ankle. Cannibals show up and surround him. Will, naturally, draws his sword and flails it around.
Will: What now, suckers! I've got you now!
He totally doesn't. All he gets is knocked unconscious with a poison dart, tied to a stick, and carried into the cannibal camp to the throne of the cannibal king. It's Jack, and he has eyeballs painted all over his body.
Will wakes up and notices Jack.
Will: Jack, is that you? Who did your makeup?
Jack gives Will a weird look and pokes him with a stick.
Will: I'm not poisonous, you know.
Jack: What do you want, a hug?
Will: It would be preferable to being tied to this stick.
Jack turns and speaks to the cannibals in cannibal code.
Jack: The swan is in the bungalow, do you copy?
Cannibals: Copy that. This also pertains to the corned purple beefsteak.
Will: Hey, Jack. A little help here?
Jack speaks to Will in cannibal.
Jack: Vector section seven.
Will: Are you speaking in code?
Jack circles around Will, apparently examining him. Then he turns and speaks to the cannibals again.
Jack: His turtle is in the shell, if you know what I mean.
Will: What? I don't have a turtle…
Cannibals: Umm… gross.
Will: Okay, whatever. Jack, someone gave Lord Beckett power, and now he's trying to show it off. I need your compass to save Elizabeth.
Jack: I really don't see how those two things go together at all…
Will: Untie me and I'll explain.
Jack: Untie me and I'll explain.
Will: Jack, you're not tied up.
Jack: I was speaking metaphorically, you numbskull.
Jack stands up and turns to the cannibals.
Jack: We have a code peridot, I repeat, code peridot. The wallaby can tell time.
The cannibals take Will away.
Will: Peach cobbler found the crossroads! See, I can do it too!
Jack: Will, don't talk nonsense.
Will: You're a freak.
Revised edition 2011!