Gahahaha...I'll probably never write a fic about Payne so I had to stick him in here. xD Poor guy, he really lives up to his name.
I do not own Winston Payne, and I definitely wouldn't want to. No really.
Me: So, Prosecutor Payne, why on earth does your voice sound like a chicken being slaughtered?
Payne: Funny story actually. When I was ten I was playing a game of soccer, and this older, quite muscular boy missed kicking the ball and instead booted me right in the sweet spot. I was unconscious for several days afterwards. It forever stunted the growth of my genitals.
Me: (editing his fics) I see.
Payne: …
Me: (continues editing)
Payne: Was that all?
Me: Good God yes. Get the hell away from me.