Family Reunions and Schizophrenics

Davy Jones is below decks on the Flying Dutchman, playing an organ with his face. Up top, crew members are finding it necessary to hoist a cannon. What they have against the traditional Jolly Roger is beyond me.

Random Undead Fish-man: Mr. Turner, tie it down!

Both Will and Bootstrap rush off to tie it down.

Will: Move it!

Bootstrap: You move! I was here first!

Bootstrap looks at Will, and for a moment thinks he's looking in a mirror, then he realizes who Will is.

Bootstrap: Holy crap.

Will is now the only one holding onto the rope, and the cannon crashes to the deck.

Undead Fish-man Boatswain: Nice going, sucker. Five lashes as a reward.

Bootstrap: No!

Boatswain: Hindering my attempt to restore order to this ship? Fine then, you'll share in the punishment.

Bootstrap: I'll take it all.

Davy Jones has apparently appeared out of nowhere. Again. He's got an uncanny knack for stuff like that.

Davy Jones: Oh really? Why's that?

Bootstrap: He's my son.

Davy Jones: That's fascinating. No, seriously, it is. Because guess what? You get to do the whooping.

Bootstrap: I won't do it.

Davy Jones: Fine. Then Tiny here will be more than happy to do it.

Bootstrap steals the whip from the Botswain and gives Will five lashes. Then Will gets thrown down into the hold.

Random Fish-Man: Consider yourself lucky, sucker.

Bootstrap comes and tries to help Will.

Will: Jerk. I don't need your help. Unless you have aspirin...

Bootstrap: No, sorry. It still hasn't been invented.

Will: Jerk.

Bootstrap: Hey, it was either me or the bo'sun. And he would have made you unrecognizable.

Will: So I'm supposed to understand that you were doing me a favor?

Bootstrap: Yeah. And hey, this way you'll have battle scars to show off to the ladies.

Will: Good point.

Bootstrap: A hundred years before the mast, and you'll slowly lose your mind. Then you'll end up like this guy. 'Sup, Wyvern.

Wyvern, who is more like part of the wall than anything else, doesn't provide anything at all resembling a response.

Bootstrap: Once you've sworn an oath, you're pretty much screwed until the debt is paid.

Will: I didn't swear any oath.

Bootstrap: Then why are you still here? Get away while you still can!

Will pulls the drawing of a key out of his pocket. Miraculous how it hasn't gotten lost in all that turmoil, huh?

Will: Not until I find this. The key.

Wyvern suddenly decides to listen, and pops out of the wall.

Wyvern: The Dead Man's Chest.

Will: Uhh... What about it?

Wyvern: Lots of stuff, actually, but I'll only tell you what's relevant. Shut up, Randy!

Will: Randy?

Wyvern: Oh, sorry, not you. The voices in my head were arguing again.

Will: Oh...

Wyvern: Stab the heart that is in the chest that gets unlocked by the key. No, don't stab it. The heart, that is. Stab the chest all you want. Stop it, Randy! I said, shut up! Sorry. Anyway, the Dutchan needs a captain, and the captain needs a living heart. No living heart, no captain. If there's no captain, there's no one to hold the key.

Will: But if there was no heart, no one would be needed to hold the key.

Wyvern: Don't complicate things. And no, Randy, I told you a thousand times, you are not fit to captain this ship.

Will: But the captain has the key?

Wyvern hits himself in the head a couple times. Apparently "Randy" is being obnoxious again.

Will: Where is the key?

Wyvern: Hidden.

Will: Where is the chest?

Wyvern: Randy. I mean, hidden.

Wyvern attaches himself back into the wall.

Will: On a scale of one to ten, with Jack Sparrow being ten and myself being one, I'd place him at about a nine-and-a-half.

Bootstrap: Told you people go crazy here.

Thought I'd have a little fun and make Wyvern schizophrenic. Did you know that schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are different? Lots of people get it wrong. But anyway, hope you liked this. Next chapter I am going to have a lot of fun with. Mwahahahaha. Reviews are much appreciated!