ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

-CHAPTER TWENTYTHREE-

BETA: Green eyes

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"Hey Blade!"

"Hi Raven!" Blade said and turned around and waited for him to catch up. They were just outside the manor. They were both out on a little walk before dinner since the manor could no longer be considered as safe. Severus had finally decided to get revenge on Sirius for his pranks he'd pulled earlier. Since things would probably get ugly they had both decided to clear out for an hour or so before returning.. Draco and his father had taken a hiding place up in the attic and the rest of the people, well, just let's say that they weren't anywhere near Sirius or Severus at the moment. No one desired to get caught in the crossfire.

"Severus is really irked," Blade commented when he got into hearing range. Raven nodded.

"Yeah, tell me about it! But at least it's a sign that Siri's better. But right now I don't know what I prefer," he said darkly, glancing back at the manor.

"I follow you, a sick Sirius and quiet house or a healthy one and madness… no, scratch that. Chaos is the word for it!" Blade said and threw his head to the side in an impatient manner. Raven noticed that Blade's dark hair had grown, and was starting to fall in his eyes in the most irritating way possible.

"All due, it's rather fun to see my dad getting pranked, the first ten times," he admitted with a small smile playing on his red luscious lips. He watched how Blade gave up the fight with his hair, which despite a several attempts still remained in his eyes.

"Yes but thirty times, that that's just pushing it too far. I mean, he's driving me crazy!" Blade said. "It is thirty now, isn't it?" he asked in a less forceful voice.

"No, it's thirty-two. But I'm not sure about what's happened since I left the house…" Raven said and shook his head slightly. It was kind of scary to see someone older than yourself behaving like a kid, especially when that someone happened to be his godfather, and also his father.. Blade sat down on a park bench and motioned for Raven to sit down next to him. Blade slide slightly closer to him once Raven had sat down.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Blade asked.

"Sure!" Raven said and leaned forward, eager to hear what was on Blade's mind.

"I think James's is giving Sirius's some ideas for the pranks."

"Noooo!" said Raven in mock horror. Blade laughed.

"Seriously, I do. I saw the two of them whispering in the kitchen right before the mixer decided to spit out its entire contents on Severus... I swear that was James's idea!"

"It's possible," Raven agreed willingly. It was very possible indeed. "But Lily is keeping her eyes on James. You should hear them!" he said, rolling his eyes. Blade laughed a bit more.

"No thanks, I've already had the pleasure to witness the 'you-do-a-prank-and-I'll-kill-you' conversation!" Raven rolled his eyes again and leaned back. Then he sobered.

"It feels like we haven't been able to talk all that much lately. I've been with other people and I want to tell you how sorry I am, I never meant to neglect you. I love you, you know that right?" he asked seriously with big sorrowful eyes. His eye color was intense; a deep, deep green.

"Oh Raven!" Blade said and rolled his eyes at Raven's display of affection, even if Raven knew Blade appreciated it. "Don't worry about it! I'm fine and it's not like I haven't seen you around. You've been in the house with me, you haven't been avoiding me. There's been a lot going on and it's been quite a change for you, with new people coming into your life when you've spent so many years alone and on your own. It ought to be at least a bit overwhelming. I can understand that. Besides, I've never been one to beat around the bush. If I wanted to talk to you, or if I've noticed you avoiding me I would have cornered you somewhere and question you about it, whether you'd like it or not," Blade said and his green eyes shone happily. Raven remembered how put out Draco had been when he had first met Blade and his father Scarce. Draco had been jealous because he had no longer been unique. Scarce and Blade having the same stunning natural shiny black hair and they we're both copies of each other just like Draco and Lucius. You could say Blade and Scarce were darker versions of the Malfoy's.

"Wanna know another secret?" Blade asked and Raven rolled his eyes and leaned forward again so they were real close even if there was no need for it since no one was anywhere near them for the moment.

"What now? Remus had been in on it too?" he drawled.

"No. But we're going to be joined on our trip."

"What?" he asked surprised. "By who?"

"Orlando, Zander, Mary and Mia."

"My, my! Our little vampire friends," he said with a smirk and looked over his shoulder towards the manor. He wondered what the others would think about that.

"You're sure the others won't die in a heart attack? They can only take oh so much you know, and with them already being surrounded by other vampires… I couldn't help but notice how jumpy some of them are…" he joked and Blade laughed at that, because he had noticed it too. "And they haven't even overcome mine Dracula's and special relationship. I think the knowledge of me having some vampire blood in me is freaking them out, even if they pretend it's nothing. I'm not talking of Draco and his family about that matter of course, because they're so used to Ancius and his friends that they think it's natural. Lucius is a half vampire as well, go figure…" Blade nodded. He leaned forward and whispered in Raven ear.

"You know, Rafael is coming too," he said.

"Oh," said Raven and looked a little startled. "Who's watching the castle then?" he blurted out. Blade shrugged and didn't look overly concerned about that.

"You know, we spoke about you and me not talking earlier… but I couldn't help but notice…" Blade said and brushed away a strand of Raven's hair behind his ear.

"What?" Raven asked and suppressed a shudder at the movement.

"You still won't let other people touch you. I thought that perhaps you had overcome it by now."

"It's not that easy," Raven said defensively in a quiet voice.

"And yet you have no problems with Draco touching you," Blade said with a slight cold in his voice. Raven's eyes widened.

"I do too!" he protested before he realized how ridiculous that objection was. Blade raised and eyebrow.

"Are you fucking him?" he asked bluntly. Raven drew back in shock. What was going on here?!

"NO! I'm not even gay!" he said angrily and a bit reserved.

"That's why you were fucking a man the other night?" Blade threw at him scathingly. Raven scowled deeply and hid his hurt. He didn't understand why Blade would jump at him like this.

"I did not!" Blade glared at him and right then and there Raven felt like he had been sucked into an alternative world or something. The whole situation felt so surreal and he didn't understand why Blade was acting this way.

"Do you think I'm some American idiot? I thought you were supposed to tell me when you got a crush on someone! I know you've got the hots for Draco. It's fucking obvious. You blush whenever he looks at you. The others might not see it but I do!"

"I'm not having a crush on Draco, and even if I did, what's it to you?" he yelled and stood up. Raven had enough of those accusations. He didn't need to sit there and just take it. Blade caught his wrist and refused to let go. To be truthful it hurt quite a lot but he refused to show it to Blade.

"This isn't just some fucking childish argument about you not telling me, even through I'm a bit hurt over that fact, I don't blame you for not informing me immediately. But you know just as well as I do what you're capable of doing when you're feeling trapped, or do I have to remind you what happened when you were about to have sex with that girl, whatever her name was? You almost killed her! You can't go into a sexual relationship with someone who isn't immortal, not yet. You're not ready. I've been working with you for several months now, and I've managed to make you able to hug some chosen people, and you're improving everyday. But quite frankly you're not trustworthy when it comes to physical contact. I let you be with immortals because you can't kill them when you begin to fight, but I won't stand by and watch you hurt someone you love just because you freak out!" Blade yelled at him.

"I do not love him!" he yelled and threw his hands up in the air. It was so frustrating that Blade refused to take his words for it. "I don't understand what you want me to say other than that! I do not want him; I do not want to have sex with him! You've fucking lost it Blade!" he screamed and wrenched his wrist loose. He stormed away from Blade.

"You're in denial Raven! And once you get your fucking mind around it, seek me out!" Blade's voice yelled behind him. He put up his hand over his shoulder and gave him a rude finger.

Raven was still seething with rage when he slammed his door to his room inside the manor. He hadn't seen anybody on his way up there and perhaps it was for the best. Who the hell did Blade think he was? He had no right to accuse him for being in love with Draco.

But he's right, a small voice inside his head spoke.

"Fuck off!" he screamed out in the room. He didn't want to deal with any of this shit right now. He grabbed a chair and threw it out the window. The glass broke but he didn't care. He was too angry to even notice Dracula entering the room. He picked up one of the glass bites and cut himself in the arm. He had finally lost it. The feelings of despair and hopelessness had been nagging him for quite some time now, every day since he had been caught between Remus and Severus at Hogwarts right before he went to the hospital. That terrible fear he had felt, he could still feel it inside him. He was terrified. He didn't want to be trapped like that in his own mind, and he didn't want to feel the hollow space he knew was there. Blade had been the only one who had stopped him from reaching out and killing Remus and Severus back that day. Blade was the only one who could stop him. But what would happen to him if Blade wasn't there the next time it happened?