Summary: Somebody has a very cruel sense of humor when it comes to Christmas gifts... Pity Cloud and Tifa! PITY THEM!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I don't own the song in its original form. I do, however, own this new version of it!

Queen's Quornor: (rubs hands together in a quick, devious motion) And now for something a bit different... (cackles madly)

Day Four

On the fourth day of Yuletide, someone evil sent to me...

Tifa nearly leapt out of her skin and clung to the ceiling above when a sudden honking sounded from directly beneath her window outside. The sound was loud, annoying, demanding, and totally unexpected. Exactly the type of racket nobody wanted to hear at - she checked the clock - 3 in the morning.

Especially not when one was having a very nice, very thorough dream about one's best friend and longtime secret crush.

The martial artist sighed and shifted out of the blankets, both man-made and not. Due to the cold temperatures currently freezing Edge, she had at least five thick blankets covering her bed along with the comforter. Tonight, she also had three bed-mates to share warmth with. The latest additions to the household had immediately deemed her their 'mother' and refused to sleep anywhere else; they were curled up beneath the blankets with Kadaj and Yazoo on either side of her, Loz crowding in on the gunman's other side. They were all sandwiched in tighter than sardines, but it was very cozy, and Tifa didn't mind. They needed a mother, since Jenova had failed them so badly.

Extricating herself from the arms wound tightly around her body, Tifa got out of bed and went to the window, wondering who the hell would be up at this time of night honking their car-horn.

"What the...?"

Grabbing a robe, she scrambled (very quietly) out the door and down the stairs, careful not to hit the squeaky one. Not only were the Remanents asleep, Reno and Rude and Yuffie were also lost to Dreamland, the Turks because they were still trying to sleep off the effects of the alcohol and the ninja because she and Cloud had been forced to drug her. Besides, Cloud was probably asleep. She didn't want to wake him, just in case she was only seeing things.

Opening the front door showed her that, despite her exhaustion, she had not been hallucinating. There were four, count 'em, four WRO-issue Shadowfoxes parked outside her 7th Heaven, the streetlights glinting off the chrome bumpers and black paint.

There was a red bow on all four of the hoods, and a card on the nearest one. Tifa reached out and took it, her heart sinking when she read the inscription.

Yuletide Greetings to my Dearest Friends! Enjoy these Tokens of my Affection for you both! And do not fear the Wrath of the WRO. They will not be searching for these Shadowfoxes anytime soon.

Tifa stared at the card a moment longer, then about-faced and went back inside and up the stairs. But she did not turn into her own room; her hand instead found the knob of Cloud's door, and she entered his inner sanctum without so much as knocking. Going to the bed, she laid a hand on her sleeping friend's shoulder and shook him lightly. "Cloud?"

He mumbled something and turned over, away from her.

"Cloud..." She tried again. This time, her efforts were rewarded with him tugging the blanket up higher over his shoulder and head, so that all she could see of him was the shock of spiky blond hair resting on the pillow.

Tifa rolled her eyes; Cloud was always near-impossible to wake up when he didn't want to be. It was funny, really: whenever they were out on the road or fighting for their lives, he would be wide awake at the slightest noise. But here at home, where it was reasonable to assume they wouldn't be fighting for their lives, he was harder to wake up than your average middle-schooler.

Her red eyes flicked to the half-full glass of water sitting on the nightstand, and Tifa decided a change of tactics was in order.

Flipping up the covers, she discovered a most interesting fact: despite the cold, Cloud only slept in a long-sleeved shirt and boxers. Giggling silently at the view (he had a very cute ass), the martial artist reached for the glass of chilled water.

She wondered if she had looked quite that ridiculous when she was so rudely awakened earlier, watching him leap about ten feet straight out of bed, towards the ceiling. To her credit, though, she hadn't shrieked like he had.

Mako-enhanced blue eyes glared at her as their owner whipped the blanket off his bed, using it to dry off his soaked rear. "Tifa, do you have any idea what time it is?!" he hissed.

Cloud had never used that tone with her before, but she didn't blame him. She had, after all, just dumped a glass of chilly water over his silk-clad rear end. "You wouldn't wake up, so I invoked the Right of the Lady of the House."

"What right is that?" he grumbled, pulling the soaked, cold black silk away from his posterior.

"The right to forcibly awaken somebody who doesn't want to wake up through desperate means." Tifa turned to leave. "Put on some pants. Our phantom gift-giver just struck again."

"At this time of night?"

"Well, it is the next day. And it would be rather conspicuous, bringing these gifts to us in broad daylight."

"And yet nobody said anything about a hog-tied ninja, two Turk-in-a-boxes, and one bigass Yuletide present. How could this be more conspicuous than that?" Cloud closed the door behind her, and Tifa heard the familiar sound of dresser drawers being pulled open, followed by the splat of wet boxers being thrown on the ground. A few minutes later, the door opened and Cloud followed her down the stairs, wearing the same shirt and some flannel sleep-pants.

His reaction when he saw the Shadowfoxes was much the same as her own had been. Tifa had to close his jaw with one finger, lest his mouth freeze. "Shadowfoxes?" he inquired, dazed.

"Shadowfoxes," she confirmed.

"No hostages in the back? No Cid under the hood? No Cait Sith in the wheelwell?"

"None whatsoever."

Cloud slowly shook his head in sheer disbelief. "Reeve is not going to be happy about this. No how, no way. Not happy at all."

...four Shadowfoxes, three Remanents, two drunk Turks, and a clumsy little thieving brat.