Summary: Somebody has a very cruel sense of humor when it comes to Christmas gifts... Pity Cloud and Tifa! PITY THEM!
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I don't own the song in its original form. I do, however, own this new version of it!
Queen's Quornor: (whistles innocently) There is going to be a slight change in plans... Not in this chapter. Just for the fic in general, since I'm a bit ahead of schedule...
Day Ten
On the tenth day of Yuletide, someone evil sent to me...
Cloud and Tifa and were fast asleep when a piercing shriek tore them from pleasant dreams of each other and the things they would love to be doing, if the other knew of their secret crushes. The scream was immediately followed by Reno shouting for the culprit to 'shut the hell up' before he ripped the person's testicles off and shoved them down their throat, Yuffie calling for Tifa to let her out of her chains (the two friends had resorted to hanging the metal-wrapped ninja from the ceiling, as she had broken Cloud's bedsprings with her bouncing), Axys and Marlene screaming in terror from the blood-curdling sound, and Denzel pounding the wall to make them all shut up. Rude, as usual, made no noise whatsoever.
The first thing Tifa noticed was that the latest additions to the household were out of bed somewhere, all three of them, and she had no idea where they were. The second thing she noticed was how hard Cloud's muscular body was when one was running full-force into it.
The bartender would have fallen to the ground, had the owner of the aforementioned hard body not reached out and grabbed her, dragging her back upright against himself. Both participants froze, shocked by the proximity to the object of their secret affections. They had never gotten this close before. Why, Tifa wasn't sure.
She did know, however, that her heart was beating a mile a minute and Cloud's was too; she could feel it against her own chest. Licking her lips nervously, she realized how close their faces were. If he leaned in just a bit closer, he could easily kiss her, for the very first time.
The swordsman seemed to be demonstrating his famous mind-reading act. He bent the tiniest bit closer to her, still holding her securely against his naked chest, his intent clear in his glowing eyes...
And the spell was broken as another scream sounded from the front door.
Their faces redder than fire and just as hot, the pair broke apart, unable to look at each other. Tifa bit her lip, unsure of whether to say something or not. On the one hand, she wanted to just run back to her room and let her crush handle the situation downstairs. On the other, she wanted to see who was screaming, why, and chew them out for interrupting the long-anticipated, much fantasized moment of truth. More than anything, however, she wanted to wrap her arms around Cloud's neck, drag him down to her level, and make him finish what he had almost started!
She finally decided to just discuss it later and slipped by him, down the stairs and out of his immediate sight.
The screams had come from the Remnants, of all people. They were gathered around the door, staring at something with horrified eyes. Tifa was shocked to realize that the three former kidnappers and merciless killers were terrified of whatever was out there.
She went to Kadaj and laid her hand on his shoulder. He jumped about a foot in the air, but then realized who it was and threw his arms around her, crying loudly. Stunned, Tifa put her arms around him, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing noises against his scalp. What was there that could terrify a Remnant of Sephiroth?
Yazoo and Loz stepped aside and likewise turned to their adopted mother for comfort, allowing the bartender a glimpse of that which lay on the stoop. Her dark red eyes widened in shock, and her arms tightened protectively upon her charges.
Ten black plastic boxes, wrapped in 'Caution' tape.
Exactly like the box that had once held Jenova's liquified noggin.
No wonder her adopted sons were so afraid. With the new life they had constructed over the past few days, the second chance they had been given to live as they pleased, the reappearance of 'Mother' was like a nightmare come true.
Cloud came down the stairs, and Tifa saw his eyes darken ever so slightly with jealousy. "What's wrong, Teef? Why were they screaming?"
"Our 'friend' has left a new present," she replied, gesturing out the window brusquely before laying a soothing hand on Yazoo, who had burrowed under her arm on the left side. The oldest Remnant had done the same on the right. "Whoever it is, they scared the hell out of Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz."
The swordsman gave her a curious look, but nevertheless went to investigate. He went chalk-white when he saw the boxes. "You don't think..."
"Don't say it." Tifa rubbed Loz and Yazoo's backs, and kissed Kadaj's head soothingly. "They're going to have nightmares as it is."
"What are we going to do with them? They can't just sit out here, and we can't bring them into the bar!"
"Get rid of them. I won't let her destroy them again. Not them, not Denzel, and not you." Tifa took a deep breath, and began manuevering her silver-haired sons to the stairwell. "I'm going to put these three to bed. You get rid of those." She paused at the stairs and craned her neck to look at the swordsman. "Cloud?"
"Yeah?" he replied, considering tools and appliances.
Tifa worried her lip, the plucked up her courage. "We need to talk at some point. Good night."
"G-good night, Tifa," Cloud stammered. Talk? About the almost-kiss? He had a spine, but that would test even his legendary courage!
Putting the thought out of his mind, the blond looked at the boxes, and picked on up, shaking it next to his ear. It sloshed, confirming his suspicion.
There were pieces of Jenova in these.
But how to dispose of them...?
His sapphire gaze fell on the blender behind the bar, and inspiration struck.
CTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCT
By the time Cloud got home, it was nearly sunrise. Putting the now-clean blender back in place behind the bar, the swordsman headed straight for the laundry room, already stripping off and looking forward to a shower and several hours of uninterrupted sleep.
He didn't think Tifa would appreciate the bed linens smelling like sewage, after all. It was going to be bad enough, dealing with his clothes.
...ten Jenova pieces, nine SOLDIERs moping, eight Vincent's coffins, seven kids a-hyper, six stolen weapons, five mastered materia, four Shadowfoxes, three Remanents, two drunk Turks, and a clumsy little thieving brat.