"Dr. House and Dr. Wilson? It is more likely House did something to Wilson, and House always looks messy. There's no way House is gay, haven't you heard him and Cuddy talking? Always on about her breasts."
"Yeah, so? Just because he's a sexist pig doesn't mean he isn't that way to everyone. He's always talking about how pretty Wilson and Chase are."
"And what about Wilson? Married three times. All to women."
"Well, I know what I'm putting down in the pool. Those two are definitely together."
House limped away from his little corner. There was a pool on Wilson and him? Interesting.
He definitely wanted in on this action, but as they wouldn't let him in normally (after he won for the third time, the nurses refused to let him bet on anything)…
"Wilson!" He shouted across the entrance hall, and the harassed oncologist looked up from where he was reassuring a mother that her son wasn't seriously ill, nor dying, but in fact just had a hangover.
He excused himself, and almost ran away from the overbearing woman.
"Thank God you got me out of there."
"Right," House smirked, "Now you owe me."
"Oh no!" Wilson exclaimed, "I'm not doing anything illegal for you!"
"No, certainly not. What kind of a friend would ask you to do something like that?" Wilson snorted, and House continued as though he hadn't heard anything, "But I would like you to play lookout for me."
Wilson sighed. "Are you breaking into Cuddy's files again?"
"Nope. The nurses have a pool on us, and I want to win."
"How
will you find this pool?"
House shot Wilson a scornful look.
"It's in Radiology. It's always
in Radiology."
They took the elevator to the appropriate floor. Wilson got more and more nervous as they neared the Nurses Station, and House humming the James Bond theme song wasn't helping.
"Right," he whispered, "You wait here, and keep an eye out. I'll go photocopy the bets, and we can have a look through back in my office."
Wilson looked sceptical, things were never that easy with House, but stood in the doorway anyway. Ten minutes passed, and Wilson was nearly about to drag House out, whether he had found the papers or not, when he emerged triumphantly, and they escaped before the nurses returned from their lunch breaks.
Once in House's office, they spread the papers out. The reason it had taken so long was that there were several different pools going.
There was the Are They Dating? Pool, the When Did They First Fuck? Pool, and the Who Tops? Pool.
"I had no idea we were so interesting. Look, Cuddy thinks we aren't dating, but hedges her bets by saying you top." House sniggered.
"Chase is in on all of them. Thinks we are dating, first did it a year ago, and that you top."
"I can't find Cameron, but Foreman thinks we aren't dating, and never fucked."
They kept reading, occasionally pointing out funny or unexpected guesses.
"You know, we could probably make a lot if we convinced Cameron to bet on the exact right things." Identical grins crossed House and Wilson's faces.
"I'll ask her," House continued, "and we can split the profit three ways. We should get three hundred bucks each, easy."
Wilson returned to his office, taking the papers, and House paged Cameron.
She rushed into his office, but stopped, looking puzzled when she realised that the others weren't there.
"Cameron, I have a business proposition for you."
"If this is you trying to sell me breast implants again, the answer is still no."
"No," House answered, "But I still think you should reconsider that idea. You know about the pool in Radiology, correct?"
Cameron's face was guilty enough that it was as good as an affirmative answer.
"Well, Wilson and I found out you haven't actually made any bets yet."
"Yes?" Cameron tried to move the conversation a bit more quickly.
"How would you like a three way split of the profits with us? We'll give you the right answers, and confirm them for the nurses."
Cameron thought about it. It wouldn't be wrong to bet about someone if they were giving you permission. She nodded, and House smiled.
"Excellent. We have the sheets in Wilson's office."
They walked in, and Wilson and House folded up a piece of paper with the answers inside.
"Hand this to Brenda, say you want in on the House pools. We'll tell everyone during Clinic Duty tomorrow."
Cameron nodded, and didn't look at the paper, just handing it straight to Nurse Brenda, who looked sceptical.
"Are you sure? These guesses aren't likely."
Cameron nodded. "Put me down for twenty bucks."
-The Next Day-
"Hey, Brenda!"
"Morning Brenda."
Nurse Brenda looked up at the grinning faces of House and Wilson.
"What now?" She asked wearily, and House smiled.
"We found out about your little pool, and thought we'd confirm some guesses."
Brenda's face immediately became more interested.
"Yes?"
"Right. Wilson, you tell her. I get the feeling she won't believe me."
"Yes we are dating. First had sex exactly nineteen years, six months, three weeks, and four days ago, I was nineteen, he was twenty-five. He tops."
They left, and Brenda scowled. She ferreted around in the pocket of her uniform, and found the piece of paper Cameron had handed her the day before.
Yes19 yrs, 6 months, 3 weeks, and three days.
House tops.
She knew the writing had been familiar! House's handwriting.
"Damnit." She cursed quietly, before going round to get everyone to pay up.