Just after midnight, Davey came into the private hospital room. Alex had fallen asleep in the armchair but Gina was still wide awake. Gina looked up when she heard the door open and smiled when she saw Davey.
"Hey I came as quick as I could." He said as he pulled her into a tight comforting hug. "How is she doing?" He asked.
"They're not sure at the moment but the stroke was serious." She explained.
"And what about you, how are bearing up?" He whispered.
She looked up at him, not quite sure how to answer, she didn't really know how she felt. In a way she would feel relieved if her Mum past away. At least she wouldn't be in pain anymore; but she wasn't sure if she would feel upset. After all, her whole family had put her through so much in her lifetime, could she find it in her to feel upset?
Gina sat back in the chair beside the bed and ran her hand over her Mums head. She ran her finger over the scar on her Mums right temple and vividly remembered the day she received that injury.
Summer 1974 was another hot year. It had been five months since Gina found out about her pregnancy and it was fast approaching her due date. Her baby was due in July and it was already June the eighth.
Gina hadn't breathed a word of her pregnancy to anyone and she had managed to keep it well hidden. With the days getting hotter it meant that she got away with wearing baggie tops without drawing too much attention to herself.
The last few months had gone well for her. She had found a new flat on the other side of Canley. Far away enough from her family so that they could deal with their own problems, but still close enough to help her brother Richard. She hadn't told anyone that she was moving or where she was moving to; that way she stood a better chance of keeping her baby a secret. She hadn't quite worked out how she was going to do that once the baby was born, but she knew she would find a way somehow.
It was a Sunday afternoon so Richard was at home with their Mum. Derek (Gina and Richards Dad) was out as usual. Gina was planning to spend the day inside her flat packing some more things into boxes for when she moved. She had been doing things bit by bit and slowly things were being put away.
It was nearing lunch time when her phone rang. She waddled over to it and picked the receiver up.
"Hello." She answered cheerfully.
"Gina it's me. You need to come to the house quick. Mum's had another accident in the kitchen... there's blood everywhere... she's out cold... I don't know what to do." Richard said down the phone to her in a distressed garbled heap.
"Alrigh' Richey calm down, I'm on my way now." She replied with a sigh as she replaced the handset.
Grabbing her bag she walked the mile and a half to Commercial Square. She let herself into the house with her key to find her brother flapping around in a state. She walked into the kitchen to find her Mother unconscious on the floor with a small pool of blood beside her. Seeing the blood didn't really faze Gina, her Mother had often received some sort of injury from falling. However since being pregnant the sight of blood made Gina feel quite queasy.
The colour drained from her face but she composed herself and looked at the problem they faced. Usually Gina would drag her Mother into the back bedroom or into the living room, but in her condition it would make things difficult even if Richard helped. She didn't have much of a choice though; she was going to have to.
"Ok Rich, you take hold of her ankles and I'll take her head. We need to get her into the back room."She explained authoritatively
Doing as he was told Richard took hold of his Mothers feet and Gina supported her head.
"Right on the count of three we lift. One, two, three..." Gina said as they supported her weight.
As soon as she lifted her Mum though, Gina automatically regretted it. She felt the strain on her back and abdomen. She gritted her teeth and hauled their Mother down the hall into the next room. They laid her on the bed and Gina placed her hands in the small of her back as she straightened up.
As she stood she suddenly doubled over again in pain. She clutched her stomach as she felt her baby move inside her.
Oh please be ok .She thought as the pain subsided.
"Gina are you alright?" Richard asked with concern as he saw the look on his sisters' face.
"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just going to the toilet; I'll be back in a minute." She replied, rushing off to the bathroom.
She shut the door and locked it just in time before she was sick. Her stomach felt like it was doing summersaults and she knew that it wasn't the baby moving
"Oh please be ok, I can't lose you, please be ok." She whispered to her baby.
Gina sat on the bathroom floor for a good five minutes. She wasn't sick again, but she was too scared to move in case something bad happened to her baby. She ran her hand over her large bump and knew that she couldn't go on like this. There would be no way she could just disappear and leave her brother to deal with situations like the one downstairs.
What would she do though? Tell everyone and stay where she was and just hope no one would ask questions? Or just go ahead and move? Unfortunately any questions that needed answering would need to be answered later as Richard knocked on the bathroom door.
"Gina? G? Are you alrigh'?"He asked calmly through the door.
She flushed the toilet and washed her hands before unlocking the door.
"I'm absolutely fine." She said defiantly
She went back downstairs and mopped up the blood from the floor and bathed the cut above her Mothers' eyebrow.
"She must have caught her head on the corner of the table." Richard explained.
"Yeah she must have done. She should be alright now though." Gina replied. "Listen I'm going to head back home. Give us a ring later if you need me." She added.
She trudged back home feeling exhausted both physically and emotionally. She opened her door and made her way straight into the kitchen. She filled the kettle with water and plugged it in. Once she had poured the hot water into a fresh cup, she sat at her kitchen table and thought about her dilemma.
There was no way she could bring up her baby with her family constantly in the background causing problems for her. She still wouldn't get a moment's piece even if she moved to the other side of London. She couldn't bring her baby into the world knowing that she would constantly be expected to drop everything.
Deep down Gina realised that there was only one realistic option, but she didn't want to make it. As she sat at the table she let the tears flow freely down her face. She rested her head in her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. She smiled weakly when she felt the baby, her baby, kick. She composed herself and took her empty mug to the sink.
As she walked over to the sink, she doubled over as the pain of a thousand knives ripped across her lower stomach. She clutched her stomach and balanced herself against the draining board.
"Not now please. You're not due until next month." She said as another wave of pain crippled her.
She slid onto the floor unable to move. Helpless, she laid there for twenty minutes before someone came into her flat. It was her old school friend Amanda.
"Oh my God Gina are you alright?" Amanda said as she rushed over to her friend.
Amanda had a key to Ginas' flat from when they flat shared. She quite often let herself in when she needed somewhere to crash for the night.
"It's the baby; I need you to get me to the hospital quickly." Gina said barely conscious.
"Baby? What baby?" Amanda asked almost hysterically.
"My baby, I'm eight months pregnant."Gina found the strength to sound annoyed
Amanda was in a state of shock. She couldn't believe Gina was pregnant and hadn't told her. Doing as she was told she called for an ambulance and sat with her friend as Gina tried her hardest to stay awake.
The ambulance crew finally arrived and wheeled Gina into the ambulance; they rushed her through the busy streets to the nearest hospital. Once there Gina was taken straight to theatre.
The doctor delivered a healthy baby girl within a few minutes after Gina had been prepped for surgery. The baby was taken to be weighed and looked after by one of the mid wives. Gina proved to be more of a problem.
"I can't stop the bleeding. I'm not sure where it's coming from." The doctor told his staff.
They worked for hours trying to stop thehaemorrhage. Finally, ten hours after Ginas' daughter had been delivered, the bleeding had stopped. They wheeled her back up to one of the wards to recover. The ward was empty apart from Gina and her baby. It wasn't until the next afternoon before Gina regained consciousness.
It took her a few minutes to gain composure and realise where she was. Her baby lay in a cot at the side of her hospital bed. Gina smiled when she saw her baby girl.
Amanda had stayed the whole night and most of the morning waiting for Gina to waken. She walked back into the room after getting something to eat.
"You're awake at last." She said when she saw Ginas' eyes flicker.
"What time is it?" Gina asked hoarsely.
"Just after half past one in the afternoon. You were in theatre for ages." She replied as she sat beside her friend. "So do you want to explain to me how all this happened and why you didn't tell me?"
Gina thought for a moment, she wasn't quite sure where to begin.
"I found out I was pregnant in January but you know what my family is like, I can't bring up a baby around them, I'm at their beck and call 24-7. When I found out I was expecting I decided I wanted to go it alone. Nobody knows about the baby apart from you so please don't breathe a word." Gina said.
"Well what about the babys' father? Is it Davey?" Amanda pressed.
"I do not want to have anything to do with her father, and no it's not Davey." Gina said as she sat up. "Will you pass her to me, I want to hold her." She added.
"She's beautiful Gina; I have to admit I had a hold of her earlier." Amanda said as she passed the baby to her Mum.
Gina wrapped her arms protectively around her baby. Gina knew she was going to find it difficult to be separated from her daughter, but it was best for her.
"I can't keep her, I realise that now." Gina sobbed.
"What do you mean?" Amanda asked as she sat on the bed beside Gina.
Gina explained what had happened the day before. Amanda knew all about Ginas' Mum and Dad and knew all about the problems she faced.
"You see if I want my daughter to have a better childhood than I did, then it can't be with me as her Mum. It's what is best for her." She said.
Gina looked down at the small bundle in her arms. She bent her head and kissed the baby on her forehead.
"Gina can you not think of another way?"
Gina shook her head.
"This is the only way." She replied.
Amanda thought long and hard over the next few hours. She sat with Gina and her daughter for most of the afternoon and saw how happy Gina was. Finally she came to a decision.
Amanda had been away for a few months before she came back to Sun Hill. A lot of her friends knew that she had been pregnant before she left but what they didn't know was that she had miscarried.
"What if I was to take her on? Nobody apart from you knows about my miscarriage so I could pass her off as my own. That way you still get to be a part of her life but she is away from your family. Nobody would need to know the truth." Amanda explained.
Gina didn't want to give her answer straight away so she told her that she would think about it.
For the next couple of afternoons there was no more talk of adoption or giving her baby away. Gina just enjoyed being a Mum to her new daughter. She decided to name her Esther. Finally one afternoon when Amanda came to see her Gina gave her her answer.
"It was a really nice thought and I have given it serious consideration, but I don't think I could watch someone else play happy families with my daughter. For this to work I would have to have no part in her life. I've arranged for a social worker to come and take her away to have her officially adopted." Gina explained as the tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.
Amanda didn't answer. She knew that Gina was right and the best thing she could do would be to support her friend over the next few months. That afternoon the two friends enjoyed spending their last afternoon with baby Esther.
The following morning a woman from the adoption agency came to collect Esther and take her to her foster parents. Gina had clothed her in a yellow baby suit and placed her into a pram. She said goodbye one final time before watching as the young woman carried her baby out of the hospital and out of her life.
Gina cried endlessly for months afterwards, normally the tough and seemingly untouchable Gina Gold had been reduced to an emotional wreck. From then on Gina was more guarded about who she opened her heart to. She put up a wall of defence and outwardly she seemed like a hard faced cow, but inside she was soft and the pain of losing her daughter was something that never went away, but was something she learned to live with.
Alexander woke with a slight cry which woke his Mum and Granny. Gina smiled at Alex as she soothed her son. Alex looked over at her Mum apologetically when she noticed that Ginas' cheeks were tear stained. Gina must have been crying in her sleep whilst she was thinking about her daughter.
"Mum are you alright?" Alex asked.
Gina had never talked about what had happened during the days in the lead up to Alexs' adoption. Alex never really asked but Gina sat and explained what happened in detail. She felt that both Davey and Alex deserved to know the full truth.
By the time Gina had finished talking, the sun had started to poke its way in to the sky. Alex sat on the bed facing her Mum, her face was now tear stained after listening to Ginas' gut wrenching story.
She knew that the decision to give her up had been a hard one for Gina to make, but she didn't realise just how hard it had been.