Chapter 5: White Claudia
How long?...How far?...
Not ripped...away...took my body now...was it body or soul?
The darkness fades...fades to the light
Disappearing now...disappears...to the night
And all these ages I've wandered as a child...the morning always came...it came too late
What made my mind forget?...forget to hide
Could the nightmare be awake?...I don't know...
The years of Angela Orosco's life whirled past in a flurry of unrelenting abuse and neglect. After first grade, she never saw her teacher Ms. Hunter again. Angela didn't mind. She did not want her to see how much of a shell she had become in her later years any-way. Going to school was just as bad as being at home, where she suffered unbearable pain and torture emotionally from other children. With no support to call her own, Angela Orosco became trapped in her own cocoon, silently crying her life away.
At seventeen years of age, Angela was an average looking girl. Her long brown hair still flowed willowy down her back and over her pale, acne scarred face. Her body had not yet reached the blossoming state of woman-hood, but that never stopped her father from violating her time and time again. While in high school, she was a loner. The only time Angela was ever happy was when she was high on White Claudia, the new designer drug that was sweeping the streets and popular amongst youth in the New England area.
Angela was introduced to White Claudia through another girl at her high school, Kimberly Coates. They weren't friends in the usual sense, just two lost and damaged souls clinging to what-ever semblance of normality they can find. They would stand behind their school, the White Claudia expertly ground and rolled up inside of old cigar paper. They would share the joint, taking the acrid smoke into their lungs and exhaling its poison back into the world.
Every-thing became illuminated when the drug took effect.
Every-thing was alive and every-thing was breathing. Nothing was dead and nothing was bleeding. The air had never smelt as fresh, and the grass had never looked so green. In reality, Angela and Kimberly were Sarban's Undesirables, the Caste Systems Untouchables, but while they were high, they were perpetual goddesses.
One night, Kimberly had invited Angela over her house for a little get together. She lived in the Woodside Apartments, directly adjacent to her own apartment complex. At 11:00 on that fateful night, Angela quietly dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue blouse and darted out of her apartment. She met Kimberly in the parking lot, beaming from ear to ear and eyes already blood-shot from early smoking. She excitedly grabbed Angela's hand, beckoning her across the street.
"It's about time! I thought you were going to no show."
Angela meekly smiled in her direction. The two girls walked hand and hand to Kimberly's apartment, eagerly awaiting the upcoming events of the night...
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For such a cramped apartment, a myriad of people adorned the living room. Most of them were around Angela's age, and most of them she had never seen in her life. They were all the grungy type, with Metal T-shirts, long hair, and leather surrounding her from all sides. The air was filled with excited chatter and a haze of smoke: some "little get together" this was turning out to be.
Angela brushed some clothes aside and took a seat on the sofa. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to her. Angela took in a deep breath and yawned. She wondered how long she was actually going to stay. The smoke from the air was already taking effect, making her feel light-headed and dizzy. Next to her Kimberly plopped down with a heavy sigh.
"I didn't expect you were throwing a party..."
Kimberly smiled and looked at Angela with eyes that were miles away.
"Just relax. Get to know some of the guys. They're cool peep..." Her voice was heavily slurred from drug use. She held up her joint of White Claudia, beckoning for Angela to take it. "Here, smoke some of this, it's stronger..."
Angela took the blunt with her index and thumb. She stared at the thin wisp of smoke curling from its seared end.
"You're a life saver..." Angela said apathetically, and brought the White Claudia to her lips. She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled. Angela could feel the rush of the smoke racing through her esophagus, finally coming to rest in her lungs. She slowly exhaled and opened her eyes.
Oh man...
This is what she lived for. The smoke danced and swirled in front of her glazed eyes as she continued to smoke. Angela weakly smiled and stared at her surroundings. The music seemed to be getting louder, and through her cloudy vision every-body seemed to be moving as if time were slowing. Kimberly eagerly grabbed Angela by the hands and pulled her off the couch.
"Come on Angie, let's dance!" They moved to the center of the floor, Kimberly half dragging an increasingly stoned Angela behind.
Kimberly began to sensually grind her hips to the music. Angela mimicked her motions, adding her own quirks as she steadied herself on uncoordinated feet. Kimberly began to move closer to Angela, so close that she could smell the pungent smoke on her breath. The other patrons at the party had stopped their activities and were now transfixed on Angela's and Kimberly's erotic movements.
Angela had never felt this way before. So desired, so sexy, so voluptuous. She swung what little curves she had on her hips and let her hair fall about her face in a wave of dark-brown. Kimberly was even closer now. Their thighs rubbed together as she tenderly brushed a pair of smooth lips against Angela's cheek. Loud cheers of pleasure erupted from the predominantly male crowd.
Angela felt a strange prickling down her spine as the sensation of Kimberly's lips spread through-out her face. Their was something familiar about that kiss. Kimberly placed her lips on Angela's neck, lightly suckling, much to the elation of the other party-goers. Angela closed her eyes and trekked through the haze that had become her mind.
A tender kiss, lightly brushing against the side of her face. The dark room, obscuring the unforgivable scene in its shadows, the hair of his beard, sending shock-waves of terror down her spine as he thrust his face between her thighs...
Angela let out a shriek of terror and pushed Kimberly away from her. The girl landed with a soft thud on the floor and looked at Angela with scorn.
"What the hell is your problem!?" She screamed.
Angela wasn't listening. Her head was swimming as she desperately tried to steady her-self. She half walked, half fell, over to the nearest wall, sending a vase crashing to the floor as she tried to catch her-self from falling. Kimberly's disdain turned to concern as she watched Angela cling to the wall, a look of terror in her wide, brown eyes.
"A-are you okay?" Kimberly asked, hesitantly placing a hand on Angela's shaking shoulder.
She could feel the rough callouses of his hands, groping her...
"Get your filthy hands off of me you bastard!!" Angela wailed, smacking Kimberly's hand away in a fit of frustration. "Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again! You're so disgusting!!"
The mass of people formed a semi circle around Angela, but all she could see was her fathers face, leering, ugly, and wild like. A howl of terror escaped Angela's mouth as she ran pass the crowd. She could here their hushed whispers, echoing back to her in the voice of her father:
What the hell is wrong with her?
Must have had a bad trip.
Angela burst out of the room and into the cool dimness of the hallway. She could still here the voices behind her, calling her name in a tone of perverted lust.
"ANGELA!! COME BACK!!"
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"Miserable little bitch!!" Angela's head violently snapped back as her father slapped her across the face. She could taste the blood slowly funneling into her mouth from her busted lip.
"Stop it Thomas, just leave her alone!!" Her mother screamed.
Thomas Orosco turned his feral like face to his wife, a look of pure hatred emanating from his eyes. "She wants to sneak out at night, break my rules, disobey me!? I'm not going to----------"
Thomas stopped his tirade. He grabbed Angela by the collars and brought her chest inches from his nose. "Well I'll be damned..."
Angela groaned and closed her eyes. Her father could smell the remnants of the White Claudia, still clinging to her clothes. Angela cried out in pain as her head was jerked back by her hair.
"You've been smoking girl!? What is wrong with you!?"
"Daddy, please!" Angela whimpered. She was thrown head first into the kitchen with extraordinary might. Her jaw smacked painfully against the dish rack as silverware rained down around her.
"Oh my God! Angela!!" Her mother raced to her side, desperately trying to remove the sorted utensils that had fallen about her daughters body. As Angela lay prone on the cold surface of the kitchen floor, her gaze wandered to a large knife positioned in front of her. Its sizable blade dimly shined in the light of the apartment. As her mother helped Angela to her feet she discreetly seized the brown handle of the knife, keeping it low so neither her father nor mother would see it.
"No child of mine is going to get hooked on that shit! I'll teach you, I'll teach you to never touch that mess again!!" Said Thomas, menacingly approaching his wife and daughter.
I'm through being a victim. A part of Angela's mind said. No more will he abuse me and my mother. He's going to get what he deserves. Deep down the six year old in Angela was dying. She was weak, powerless, and the reason why Angela had suffered the way she did. But all of that is about to change. He'll never hurt me again, he'll never----------
Angela felt the powerful hand wrap around her neck.
"Get up girl, I'm going to----------"
----------It was then that Angela struck. With a burst of strength she spun on her heels and knocked her fathers hand from around her neck. Holding the knife strategically in her right hand, she lunged, plunging the blade in his rotund gut with all of her might.
Thomas recoiled in horror as the blood gushed from his mortal wound. Angela continued to stab, even as his blood made handling the knife difficult. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, all rational thinking lost in a hale of fury.
"ANGELA NO!! OH MY GOD NO!!" Her mother screamed, even though she made no attempt to stop her enraged daughter. Thomas fell to his knees, his hands clutching at his daughters shirt. The look of shock on his face was mirrored by his wide, glossy eyes. With one last vicious cry, Angela yanked the knife from her fathers gut. The blood poured from his many wounds as he fell faced down, a pool of crimson gathering underneath his giant frame.
"An...ge...la..." He whispered.
Then, everything became silent. Angela stood over her fathers lifeless body in a dazed stupor, the knife dangling from her blood stained fingers.
"Oh my God Angela...what have you done!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Her mother wailed. The knife slipped from Angela's fingers and landed on the linoleum with a soft clank. Angela instinctively jumped at the sound and was snapped out of her shock.
Oh no, what have I done? He would have killed me, I had to, I hat to do it...
Angela covered her mouth with her hand as tears erupted from her eyes, and instantly repelled as she tasted the blood smothering her fingers. She stared at the blood decorating her hand, her fathers blood...
"Mama?" Angela whimpered. "Mama, I'm scared!"
Her mother rushed to her side and embraced the traumatized girl. "Shhhhh, it's going to be alright. You did...you did what you...had to do. It's not your fault."
Bang! Bang!
Angela and her mother both turned ashen faced to the front door.
"Hello? Is everything okay in there? I heard some screaming and wanted to check if everything was alright. Hello!?"
Angela's heart caught in her throat. Oh God! It's the neighbor! I'm doomed!
"Mama, don't let them take me! Please, don't let them take me!!"
Angela's mother grabbed her by the shoulders and vigorously shook her.
"You have to calm down Angela! Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. Hurry!"
Angela hastily ran into the bathroom and shut the door. Outside, she could hear her mother opening the front door and the muffled sound of her voice. Angela quietly turned on the water tap and began to scrub the blood off of her hands.
There's so much, oh God, there's so much! It's not coming off!!
She furiously scrubbed at her crimson stained hands, desperately trying to wipe her fathers blood from them.
The blood is not coming off!! What do I do!!?
She scrubbed until her skin became pink and raw underneath the running water. She was so entranced by her task that she didn't see her mother come into the bath-room.
"Angela, it's okay. The neighbor is gone."
Angela didn't hear her. She whirled around from the sink, tears stinging her eyes.
"Mama, the blood won't wash off! Why won't it wash off!!"
Her mothers initial concern faded away to pity as she gingerly stroked her daughters head.
"The blood is gone baby. There is none left on your hands..."
Angela peered at her hands. They were pale and glistening with water under the light: not a trace of blood.
Oh no, I must be losing me mind!
"Mama, what am I going to do!? I---I---killed..." Angela broke down into sobs before she could finish.
"It's going to be alright baby. You have to get out of here. You can't stay here..."
Angela's mother led her out of the bath-room and into the living room. She avoided staring at her slain fathers body, which was mercifully hidden under a sheet.
"You can't stay here Angela. It's not safe. They'll find you."
Angela struggled from her mothers grasp. She couldn't leave with out here.
"What about you!? I'm not leaving without you!"
"Please, Angela. You have to get out of here! Thomas...Thomas was a cruel man, but he didn't deserve this. But I love you too much to just watch you go to prison. Please...just go."
Angela stared into the teary eyes of her mother. Then, without hesitation, she ran out of the apartment, the image of her dead father forever burnt into her memory.