"I'm completely lost in you Lisa."
He got home later the next day and logged on to check his emails. There was one from Lisa.
"I wish I could take credit for this one, but unfortunately I can't. Yet it says everything I want to say.
The
Flame
by Merlin Dale Calhoun
Deep inside my heart,
There burns a tiny light.
It helps me on my way,
It keeps me warm at night.
It is always with me.
It warms my weary soul.
It brightens darkened spirits,
When hardships take their toll.
I can always feel it,
In all that I may do
And though it flames inside me
It gets its spark from you.
I have a hard time putting my feelings into words sometimes, especially when it comes to you. Just as you question how you managed to get me, I question myself on how I managed to get you. As many times you've made love to me, and as meaningful as they all have been, last night spoke volumes to me as to where we are with each other. It spoke what we're either scared or not ready to say without worry or difficulty. Until we're both ready, you'll still spark that flame for me.
See you in two weeks.
Lisa."
Scott took a deep breath after he finished her letter, his heart swelling with emotion. Yep he had definitely succeeded in getting his point across. This weekend made Lisa happy as it was a long one. That meant she got 3 whole days and two nights with Scott. Ericka and Nicole were shocked when she mentioned one of them going shopping with her to pick out something for this weekend. Like the others, the time between shows drug on and Lisa was literally chomping at the bit ready to go. Scott was going to have a cow when he saw her in the dress she had bought. He was going to like even more what was under it and she knew it wouldn't take him long to get to see it. When she called Scott to let him know they were in, she got no answer and she knew the clerk wasn't going to give her the other key. Brandon did her a favor and sweet talked one of the girls at the counter and minutes later produced the other key for her. She got to their room, sliding the key in the door. When she walked in, she had to take in the most precious sight she thought she had ever seen. There lay Scott sound asleep. After a few minutes of watching him, she decided to wake him.
"Baby?"
That got him moving around.
"Hey you. Wake up."
Scott cracked open his eyes and blinked causing Lisa to smile.
"Am I dead? I have to be because there's an angel standing in front of me."
"No baby you're not dead."
"God damn you are absolutely beautiful."
"You like?"
"I love."
Scott sat up on the bed reaching for her. He pulled her to him and sat her so she was straddling him. His hand went to her face and he sighed when she leaned into it.
"Words fail me baby."
"Then don't speak."
"There's so much I want to say though."
"Then say them when you're ready. Don't force them."
Scott's lips met hers kissing her with so much emotion behind them which she equally returned. His hands found their way under her dress, finding her ass. He pulled away smirking.
"Are those new?"
She nodded smiling back at him.
"You mind if I see?"
"You've got to get everything else out of the way first."
"That can definitely be arranged."
He motioned for her to stand up and he stood behind her, his lips going to her neck.
"I never thought I'd be here doing this with you."
"Unzipping a dress?"
"Absolutely. You're making a fantasy of mine come true baby."
"Glad I could help."
Scott slowly eased down the zipper and carefully removed the dress from her shoulders watching it fall to the floor. When she turned around his jaw dropped.
"Holy Christ you are so beautiful."
There she stood in a black lace bra and boy shorts set.
"You like?"
"Oh my God."
"Tell me."
"This may sound perverted to you, but I wish I had bought some Viagra so I could make love to you non stop until tomorrow morning. It should be illegal to look as mind-blowing beautiful as you do in that. There are so many things I want to do with you and to you right now."
"You can do all of those things except probably one."
"Which one is it baby?"
She didn't say a word, just taking her hand in his and putting his first two fingers together while keeping the rest of them bent down. He knew she meant he couldn't imitate making love to her like that. That was okay. At least she was being honest and forthcoming enough to tell him.
"Understood. I never want to frighten you baby."
"Can we stop talking now?"
"Listen at you. You need me baby?"
"Yes."
"You want me to make you feel so good?"
"Please baby."
He tortured and teased her and she was loving every minute of it. He was getting ready to enter her when she rose up and rubbed noses with him. It felt so right to tell him how she felt right now and she wasn't going to miss that chance.
"What is it my beautiful baby?"
"I am completely, totally, utterly lost in you Scott."
"Say that again baby, please."
"I am completely, totally, utterly lost in you Scott."
"Oh God baby."
There was silence for a minute and Lisa spoke.
"Its okay if you can't say it yet. I understand. As long as I can see it in your eyes like I do right now, it works for me."
"Lisa that's not what…"
"What do I see then? I thought I knew you and knew what I saw in your eyes. Guess I was wrong."
"You do know me baby. You know me better than almost any body, but this is something you've never seen from me before."
"I've told you everything. Why can't you tell me this? I trusted you Scott. I trusted you enough to fall in love with you. Now I'm not so sure if that was the right decision."
She quickly finished dressing and grabbed her purse walking out of the room. About a half an hour later, Brandon who had came to get some ice spotted her in the corner of the hallway knees curled up to her chest.
"Hey little one, what's wrong?"
Little one was his nickname for her.
"Am I blind Brandon?"
"No."
"Am I stupid?"
"Most definitely not."
"Am I ugly?"
"Little one, you are many things, but ugly sure as hell isn't one of them."
"Then why can't he love me?"
"You told him didn't you?"
"Yea."
"Ericka told me you had told her how you felt."
"I even told him he didn't have to say it back, as long as I could see it in his eyes like I thought I did right then."
"You wouldn't have told him unless you thought he felt the same way."
"He told me that wasn't what I saw. I tried to get him to tell me but he wouldn't. I've told him everything Brandon. Everything. He knows me as well as Nicole and Ericka do. Yet he wants to keep things from me?"
"You need me to get Ericka?"
"No, leave her be. I have to learn to deal with things on my own."
"You're sure?"
"Yea Brandon I'm sure. But thank you for listening."
"Not a problem little one."
After a minute of debate, he walked away making a mental note to check back to see if she was still there later. Lisa was sitting there when suddenly it hit her. He was scared. How could she have not noticed it earlier? She got off of the floor, determination in her step and went back to their room. She opened the door and Scott was immediately off the bed coming towards her. Whatever plans he had suddenly changed when she shoved him.
"Why in the hell are you scared of little old me? What about me terrifies the shit out of you?"
"I fell in love with you in two weeks. It took me two weeks to realize I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that I can never be apart from you. The night before you left, when we made love, it took everything for me not to scream at the top of my lungs how I felt. I am scared to death because for the first time in my life, I am incomplete. I am incomplete until I hear your voice, until you're in my arms. Without you, there's only half of me. Do you know how tempted I've been to pick up my entire life and move down here just so I could be with you more than just a few days every couple of weeks? I need you baby. I just need you."
She walked over, her hand going to his face.
"All we have to do is change a few of the minor details and you have me. I love you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't scare me too baby. Besides my sisters and Mags I've never known what love even was until you showed it to me. In my heart, that last night two weeks ago, we told each other how we felt then only without words. I was right when I saw it in your eyes wasn't I?"
"Yes."
"It was just with the tiniest bit of fear mixed in. If you happen to look into mine you'll probably see the same exact thing. I'm not going to run away unless it's with you."
"Change a few of the details."
"Earlier that night, when we were backstage, that's when I knew I had fallen in love with you. Remember I told you then that I was scared. That night, I knew you loved me just as much as I love you. It has killed me every time to walk away from you and drive away. You don't know how many times I've daydreamed of a place where it's just you and me, no work, no one to check in with. I even entertained the idea of getting "property of Scott" tattooed on my ass because it would be the honest God's truth. I am just as lost without you as you are without me. Remember right after we first made love and I told you I could stay with you like this forever? That's most definitely true. You wanna know why? Because I'd have you with me."
"You came back to me."
"I never really left baby."
"Yes you did. I was so scared I had pushed you away."
"You owe Brandon a thank you."
"Why is that?"
"When I walked out of here, I only got to the end of the hallway by the ice machine. Apparently Ericka had sent him out for ice and he saw me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him. Then he reminded me of something. I would have never told you how I felt unless I knew you felt the same way. After he walked away, it clicked that maybe I wasn't the only one terrified. I got confused and angry as to why you would be afraid of loving me."
"It was never the fact that I was afraid of loving you because baby you are perfect in my eyes to fall in love with."
"Let me guess, my little control freak got scared when he fell so fast and felt so out of control?"
"See you do know me."
"Unless you try to hide things from me that I need to know."
"I will never be able to say I'm sorry enough for that."
"Yes you can."
"How could I do that?"
"Just trust me enough to trust me with your heart."
"I already have for some time."
"Not completely you haven't."
"Wanna bet?"
"What's the stakes?"
"The loser has to go to the winner's house for a week's vacation, no work, no one to check in with."
"Now those are my kinda stakes. I'm in."
"Easiest bet I've ever won."
"Oh really?"
"I'm hopelessly, desperately, insanely lost in you Lisa Caitlyn Myers."
"You've been talking to my sisters."
"Only for the middle name. Schedule your vacation time baby and get a passport, you're coming to Canada."
"I'm not going anywhere until you do something first."
"What is that baby?"
"Finish fulfilling that fantasy of yours you so rudely interrupted earlier. More like have a redo because I seem to be wearing it again."
Scott sat on the bed pulling her to him, sitting her like she was earlier. His hand went to her face, Lisa leaning into his touch.
"Words fail me baby."
"Then don't speak."
"There's so much I want to say though."
"Then say them when you're ready. Don't force them."
Scott's lips met hers kissing her with so much emotion behind them which she equally returned. His hands found their way under her dress, finding her ass. He pulled away smirking.
"Are those new?"
She nodded smiling back at him.
"You mind if I see?"
"You've got to get everything else out of the way first."
"That can definitely be arranged."
He motioned for her to stand up and he stood behind her, his lips going to her neck.
"I never thought I'd be here doing this with you."
"Unzipping a dress?"
"Absolutely. You're making a fantasy of mine come true baby."
"Glad I could help."
Scott slowly eased down the zipper and carefully removed the dress from her shoulders watching it fall to the floor. When she turned around his jaw dropped.
"Holy Christ you are so beautiful."
There she stood in a black lace bra and boy shorts set.
"You like?"
"Oh my God."
"Tell me."
"This may sound perverted to you, but I wish I had bought some Viagra so I could make love to you non stop until tomorrow morning. It should be illegal to look as mind-blowing beautiful as you do in that. There are so many things I want to do with you and to you right now."
"You can do all of those things except probably one."
"Which one is it baby?"
She didn't say a word, just taking her hand in his and putting his first two fingers together while keeping the rest of them bent down. He knew she meant he couldn't imitate making love to her like that. That was okay. At least she was being honest and forthcoming enough to tell him.
"Understood. I never want to frighten you baby."
"Can we stop talking now?"
"Listen at you. You need me baby?"
"Yes."
"You want me to make you feel so good?"
"Please baby."
He tortured and teased her and she was loving every minute of it. He was getting ready to enter her when she rose up and rubbed noses with him. It felt so right to tell him how she felt right now and she wasn't going to miss that chance.
"What is it my beautiful baby?"
"I am completely, totally, utterly lost in you Scott."
"Say that again baby, please."
"I am completely, totally, utterly lost in you Scott."
"That's good."
"Hey I'm supposed to be the smartass."
"I am hopelessly, desperately, insanely lost in you my smartass."
"Say it again baby."
He accentuated each word with a kiss.
"I am hopelessly, desperately, insanely lost in you Lisa."
"Let us find each other then."
For Scott this was a dream come true in more ways than one. He not only got to see her in a dress, he got to tell her how he felt, and she was more than vocal about how he was making her feel. They had death grips on each other afraid the other was going to disappear if they let go. When she finally reached her release, Scott knew he was never going to let go of her. He had found the woman of his dreams and she was in love with him. After a few more lunges, Scott found his release and instead of falling to her side like he usually did, she made it so he rested on top of her.
"You stay right there."
"I'm gonna hurt you baby."
"Let me enjoy this, please."
"Okay."
"I love you Scott."
"Baby I love you too."