"Why am I tied up when the homicidal, shape-shifting PSYCHOPATH gets to roam around free around your HOUSE?!"

Rachel and Emmy's mother peeked her head into the room and stared at Ed.

"Emmy, could you please ask your friend to keep it down a little bit?" she asked sweetly, "Oh, hi Envy!"

"Hey, Rachel and Emmy's mom. Do you know where the mayonnaise is?"

"Nuu… You'll have to find it later. See if you can get the pickles too!" she said before ducking out of the room and back to her office. Where she lived.

"'Kay."

"IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME?!" screamed Ed from the chair he was tied to.

"No," Envy said, "Can I kill him?"

"No!" shrieked Emmy, running over to Edward and blocking him from Envy.

"We need to set up some rules," Rachel said, staring at her sister, who was now beating Ed up with a lead pipe. Again. "Number one!" she exclaimed as Emmy ran to her side and held up a poster labeled 'RULES' in big red letters. "No killing our family. Number two!" she shouted as Emmy jabbed her finger into the poster where it said '2' in the same font, "No killing our friends! Number three, no killing Ed."

"DAMN YOU NUMBER THREE!" shouted Envy.

"And number four," said Emmy, suddenly calm and professional, "No killing our pets."

"Why would I want to kill your pets?"

"You'll find out… IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!"

"Chapter? What?"

"Forget she said that," said Rachel, quickly latching her hand over her sister's mouth, "EW!" She pulled her hand away, and it was now covered in dripping saliva. Emmy giggled innocently and putting a fingertip over her lips.

"I'm so going to kill you for that," muttered Rachel, wiping her hand off on Ed.

"Ew…" he said, giving the spit a disgusted look.

"SILENCE, EDWARD!" screamed Rachel. "Heh."

"Stop making me use caps lock!" Emmy complained. "People HATE the nonsensical caps lock of rage. Unless it's one of those adorable short rants!" she squealed, running back over to Ed.

"Anyway, back to the rules!" said Rachel! "Number five, no leaving the lights on in a room you're not using. Finally, number six. No clogging the toilet."

"That one's punishable by death," Emmy said with an evil smirk.

"Psh, I'm a homunculus, how're you gonna kill me?"

"Because…" smirked Emmy, "We have the almighty… HUMMUS!"

"No! Not the almighty hummus!"

"Yes, the hummus. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an adorable Edo to torture."

Edward yelped, "No, not the le-AH!"

"Okay, I'm not gonna beat you up," sighed Emmy, lead pipe in hand. "We actually have someplace to be."

Envy shrugged and went to look for the mayonnaise.

"What? We have someplace to be?" asked Rachel, blinking.

"Onii-chan! Have you actually forgotten?! KATSUCON?"

"Oh. Em. Eff. Gee!!! Katsucon! How did I forget?!"

"Of course you forgot, Onii-chan. We're not going to Katsucon this year. Dork. How could you forget that?"

Rachel glared at Emmy.

"We really do have someplace to be though," chirped Emmy brightly. "We're gonna sell pictures online! We are going to… eBay Central!"

"NO!" screamed Rachel, "Not this… POINTLESS trip again! How many times do I have to tell you that there's no. Such. Thing. As eBay Central?!"

Emmy grinned. "The only weapon is imagination in the war against reality!" she quoted, waving a pale finger in the air, "Right, Rachel?"

"Uh… Sure, whatever you say, Emmy. But you're going alone on this trip, ya hear?"

"Nuu!" Emmy shouted, running over and tackling her sister, "You have to go with me! Who else will help me force Edo to push the car up a steep hill?"

"WHAT?!" screamed Ed, struggling against the thick ropes.

"Hmm? What's wrong, Edo?" asked Emmy. She tilted her head to the side innocently.

"I'M NOT GONNA PUSH YOUR STUPID CAR UP A HILL!" shouted Ed.

Rachel giggled, "What's wrong, too short?" Emmy and Envy stared at her as Edward ranted maniacally. "What, I thought it was funny," she said.

"To… THE VOLKSWAGON!" cheered Emmy, "And then, to eBay!!!"

Whaddaya think? Review? Please? I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A FLAME! REVIEW! If I don't receive reviews, I will die, and if I die, I can't update my fanfictions, and if I can't update my fanfictions, my few faithful subscribers will ALSO DIE!!! IT WILL BE ARMAGEDDON!!! THE WORLD WILL CEASE TO EXIST! So, if you please, review! Arigotou!