Disclaimer: I still haven't convinced the owners of FMA, FLCL, OHSHC, One Piece, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Tellie Tubbies, Kappa Mikey, myself, or a smoothie to let me buy them. Mmm… Smoothie…
"Please! No, anything but that!!!" shouted Ed as Emmy inserted the disc into the DVD player.
"You don't wanna watch Ouran High with us Edo?" Emmy asked, plopping down next to him on the couch.
"No! It will devour my brain!"
"How about Kappa Mikey?"
"That's not even anime! And that would be the absolute WORST torture you could POSSIBLY put me through. No. Kappa. Mikey."
"Hmm…" Emmy took out the disc and popped in another. When the opening theme song of One Piece started to play, Ed began to foam at the mouth.
"Must… Escape…" he choked through the foam.
"Fine, fine, no One Piece," said Emmy angrily. She clicked another DVD in place as Tag-Along (that's one of our cats) came over and rubbed his cheek against Ed, who was still tied up.
"I'm glad Al's not here," muttered Emmy, "He'd try to steal our cats." She sat down next to Ed and tried to force him to watch Fooly Cooly when Envy came into the room. He sat on Emmy's other side. Taggy nuzzled his cheek against Emmy as well, and let out his adorable trilling sound (he really makes sounds like that!)
"Brrrrrrup!" said Taggy, jumping over Emmy to sit on Envy's lap.
"Aw," said Envy, scratching the Siamese-tabby mix behind the ears, "You're not like those other mean kitties," he continued to scratch Taggy, "You're so sweet and nice and- OW!" he shrieked as Taggy ripped Envy's entire left arm off with his un-clipped claws of fury. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR CATS?!" Envy screamed, jumping up and blocking the episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus Emmy had convinced Ed to watch.
"What's wrong, senpai?" Emmy asked, tilting her head cutely to the side.
"YOUR CAT JUST STOLE MY ARM!"
"No need to use the nonsensical caps lock of rage."
"AND WHY DO YOU CALL ME SENPAI?!"
"You're my upperclassman."
"In WHAT?"
"Evil."
"Oh. Okay…"
"Why have I not said a full coherent sentence since the last chapter?" Ed asked.
"…"
"Chapter?" inquired Envy.
Just then, the dog tried to use Ed as a sofa cushion.
"Okay, I like the dog," said Envy.
"Her name is Ming," chirped Emmy in response.
"MING?!" yelled Envy, "That sounds like LING! I hate Ling! In the manga he kept chopping my limbs off!"
"But you're anime you," Ed pointed out, "Wait, why do I know this?"
"Wait, has it ever been specified that you're anime you's and not manga you's?" Emmy asked. "There is only one way to find out! Ed!"
"What? What's happening?"
"In your world, is alchemy powered by the earth's waves?"
"What? No."
"Anime!" Emmy declared.
"Now if you'll excuse me," said Envy, "I have an arm to retrieve."
"Don't forget rule number four," said Rachel as she entered the room with a mustard-cabbage-tofu-chocolate sauce-jelly sandwich.
"Fine," sighed Envy. As he exited, he grabbed her sandwich.
"Nuu!!!" she cried, mourning her lost sandwich.
They all said a silent prayer for the sandwich.
Emmy was sitting at her laptop, typing these words. Edward was tied to a chair behind her, and he stared oddly at the words being typed at the exact second he said them.
"May I go to the bathroom?" he asked.
"No," she said very flatly.
"Why?"
"Because you'll try to escape."
"How do you know that for sure?"
"You wrote your escape plan on my notebook for school."
"Dammit!"
Emmy spun around in her… Spinny… Chair… Thing… and grinned evilly. "I'll let you go to the bathroom IF! You let me help you…" she said, giggling to herself in fangirliness.
"NO!"
"Okay then," she spun back around in the chair and typed the past scene.
Rachel was still mourning for her lost sandwich, when she heard an inhuman scream from upstairs.
"ENVY, DID YOU KILL A RABBIT UP THERE?!" she called. She heard no answer. She walked upstairs and burst into her room. BLOOD AND RED STONES WERE EVERYWHERE!!! The spiky beta fish Rachel and Emmy had named after Envy grinned evilly. How can a fish grin? Anyway, even though Envy the fish was fine, Envy homunculus wasn't feeling so great, splattered across the walls and ceiling. Rachel fell to her knees, mourning now for both her lost sandwich and her lost bishi.
"This is the most uncool day ever!" she cried. She gathered up the red stones in a bowl. She was about to put them in her sandwich, when all the blood off the walls collected in the bowl and turned into Envy, still with only one arm.
"Dammit Envy, you broke my bowl!" she complained, "I was about to have a delicious red stone sandwich, thank you very much, and then you went and came back to life!"
"Well SOR-RY!" Envy said. Just then, Tag-Along trotted into the room, still with Envy's arm in his mouth. "Gimmie that!" said Envy, grabbing it away from him and reattaching it.
"Envy, did you get into an argument with the fish?" asked Rachel.
"Yeah… HE STOLE MY NAME, DAMMIT!"
"We NAMED him after YOU! And there's a REASON they're also called fighting fish!"
"Stupid fish," Envy muttered.
Just then, Rachel and Emmy's parents burst into the room.
"Is everyone okay?" asked Tim.
"We heard a scream." said their mom, Gwyn.
"Envy just had a little run in with the fish." Said Rachel. "Nothing to worry about."
"Alright," said their mom, "But she needs to be a little more careful in the future. That fish is dangerous."
"I'm a guy." Corrected Envy.
Rachel and Emmy's parents stared at him for several seconds before returning to the office and the kitchen. Where they lived.
So! Whaddaya think? Review? Pretty please? And please don't yell at us if we got any manga information wrong… I just finished reading the mangas, and my puny little brain can't hold the information for two things with the same title. Okay, sickening info here! I have received a review that claims our bishis are out of character. Well, Bethan, tough! I like them out of character! Their total OOC-ness makes them hella more fun to write! THANK YOU. Now I hope you understand, seeing as you were enough of a jerk to leave your message and not even log in to your account so I could respond to you. DAMN YOU! And goodnight. :::And then a giant bomb dropped on Bethan's house, for the almighty Night Sky Alchemist knows where he lives. She watches ALL OF YOU. On the bomb, it said "REVIEW":::