Disclaimer: I have finally convinced the owners of FMA, dot Hack Sign, and Candy Mountain to finally let me by their thingies. Isn't that nice of them?

Now… Without actually having tried to make our characters, well, in character, I bring you the marvelous OOC-ness of our incredible OOC story! MWAHAHA!!! Suck THAT, Bethan

"Gah…" groaned Emmy, pushing her wheelie… Spinny… Chair thingy away from the computer. "I can't. Think of anything! Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit," she said in a monotone, rolling over and banging her head against the wall. "Edoooo!!!"

"Ah?"

"Help meeeeeee…"

"Why and how? I'm tied up."

"Untie yourself or… Something. I have writer's block!"

"Why should I care?"

"Becaaaaaauuuuuse… I neeeeeeed to write!"

"Why? That's the third time I've asked that."

"Beeeeecaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuse… I promised my readers I'd update, like, every day."

"Doesn't that seem a little unreasonable?"

"Hm? No, why?" she said, blinking.

"First tell me why I should help you."

"No. Just do it."

"No! Just let me go!"

"Never! You still have to stay for Chriiiiistmaaaaaaas…"

"Aren't you Jewish?"

"Yeah, so? I get manga for Christmas!!! Yatta!"

"Guh… Did you know your voice hurts my brain?"

"Did you know I write fanfictions about you and Winry?"

"Gah!"

"Oh, silence, nothing like that. God, you have a sick mind, Edo."

"Is your writer's block over yet?"

"Why, in fact, I think it is! I am now off to write EdxWinry lemons! MWAHAHA!"

"Lemons? Like the fruit?"

"No, like Mature rated fanfictions."
"Gah! Step away from that computer!"

"No. Why?"

"You're only eleven for God's sake!"

"Yeah. So?"

"…You're the one with the sick mind. You."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yes. You."

"No. You."

"Can we stop this? You know I'm going to win anyways," Ed pointed out.

"NO! YOU!" she shrieked.

"Shut up!" He waited for her to shut up. "Good. Now go do your… Fan… Thingy… Just don't write lemons."

"Awww… Can I write EdxWinry?"

"NO."

"You suck. Now I'll have to finally update Crescent. Don't you want Aru to be happy?" she sobbed.

"Grrr…"

"Do you want me to untie you?" she asked, suddenly not crying.

"No. Of course I wouldn't want to be untied." He said sarcastically.

"Okay then! To Fanfiction dot net!" she roared, running over to the laptop. She pulled the headphones over her ears and turned the volume up so loudly that Ed could hear it from where he sat on the bed (not like that, ew.)

"To be a joke and look, another line without a hook," she sang along off key.

"Please shut up."

She didn't hear him.

"For the last time, take a good hard look, I'm NOOOOT OHHHHKAAAY, I'm not OH! Kay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, I'm not OH! Kay-ay-ay, you we-ar me ouuuuu-"

"SHUT UP DAMMIT!"

Emmy pulled the headphones off her ears and glared at Ed.

"I'm trying to write fanfiction here!" she said, typing out the scenario on the Mac version of Microsoft word.

"Then how come you didn't write anything 'til AFTER I yelled at you?!"

"Duh, I was waiting for you to say something. Fanfictions are only fictions without the fan part."

"…"

"What?"

"You're weird. I'm leaving."

"How're you gonna do that?"

"Why would I tell you?"

Emmy twisted her face into a very convincing Bambi-eyes.

"That's not going to work on me," Ed said.

"Damn."

"But it's very cute."

Emmy gasped. "RACHEL! EDO JUST CALLED ME CUTE!" she yelled, bursting through the door and running down the stairs.

"I told you," said Rachel to Envy, "Bambi-eyes don't work with slit pupils."

"Grrr… How 'bout now?" he asked, shape-shifting to make his pupils more round.

"Well that's not good at all! Now your slit pupils are gone!" she said. Envy growled.

"Onii-chan, did you hear me at all?" Emmy asked, also growling now.

"Dammit, Rachel, I want my cookies!"

"No, Envy! Bad Envy!" said Rachel, whacking his head with a rolled-up newspaper. "You may not try to kill our pets!"

"He tried to kill our pets?! Which one?!" Emmy asked frantically.

"All of them."

"Damn you Envy!"

"Say… You don't see your cats as your pets, do you?"

"No." answered Rachel and Emmy in unison.

"So… If they're not your pets, ruled number four doesn't apply… Right?"

"Alright, new rule!" said Rachel, "No killing our feline overlords."

"DAMMIT!"

"Onii-chan!" shouted Emmy angrily, "Edo said I was cute!"

"Oh, sure, sure," Rachel answered lazily, still whapping Envy with the newspaper.

"Oniiii-chaaaaan!!! Listen to meeee!!!" Emmy whined.

"No,"

"Damn you! Vacation time!" said Emmy, suddenly cheerful.

"Vacation? Where?!" asked Envy eagerly.

"To… ANYWHERE!"

"Anywhere?

"Yes. Anywhere."

"Where is Anywhere?"

"Anywhere is a land of mystical WOOOONDEEEEER…" Emmy said like the unicorns in the Candy Mountain thingy.

"What? Anywhere?" Ed asked, peeking out from Emmy's room. Somehow he got… Untied or something… But that's not important! The important thing is that he asked the question!

"Mm-hm! Anywhere. It's actually a videogame!" squealed Emmy, happy with her new invention. "It's like the World from dot Hack Sign!"

No one in the room knew what she was talking about.

So! With her mystical fanfiction-ing powers, she snapped her fingers, and suddenly Anywhere was somewhere! I mean, Anywhere existed! Excuse me while I explain the rules of Anywhere to my fellow freaks.

Okay, after explaining Anywhere to the freaks, Emmy shoved Envy into Anywhere, and he became… (dun dun duuun!) a video game character! For some reason, even though Emmy had just invented Anywhere, people from all around our puny alchemy-free world started logging in to accounts they apparently already had. Envy looked in the virtual mirror that was in front of him.

"Gah! My hair! 'Tis no more!" he yelped. 'Pretty good resolution though,' he thought looking down at his hands.

"Hey, Envy!" yelled a virtual Emmy, "You're supposed to set your appearance!

'Oh,' he thought. He willed himself to look like… Himself… And there he was! Neat, huh? He glanced over at the others, and they'd set their appearances too. Emmy had gone from her normal long, strawberry blonde hair to a deep red, almost like blood. Her regular jeans and black T-shirt was now a mage's cloak, red and black with a silver necklace of the alchemical symbol. Rachel's short brown hair was a deep green (of course…) and longer. Wait, she looked just like Envy! 'Damn,' Envy thought, 'this will be confusing.'

And, of course, Ed looked the same as usual. Because you can't mess with perfection. But he was taller.

"Edo!" Emmy whined, "Why aren't you short? You were already taller than me!"

"By two inches."

"NOW I'M THE SHORTEST DAMN YOU!"

"You were already the shortest!"

"SILENCE MORTAL!"

"YOU'RE MORTAL TOO!"
"I RUN THIS GAME, AND I SAY I'M IMMORTAL!"

"Would you two shut up?!" yelled Rachel, swimming through the dark matter in between them.

"Where are we anyway?" asked Envy, feeling left out of the argument.

"We," started Emmy in an ominous voice, "Are in the Gate-"

"The Gate?!" Ed yelped.

"Shut up Edo! The Gateway to Anywhere! Geez, let me finish!"

"Sor-ry!"

"You can't just go interrupting people like that, baka!"

"Gah! It's not like you don't interrupt me!"
"As a girl, I'm allowed to do that!"

"WHAT DOES GENDER HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!"

"EVERYTHING, DAMMIT, SHUT UP!"

"YOU!"

"Gu-uys!" whined Rachel, "Are we gonna play the game or not?"

"What? Who said we were playing the game?" Emmy asked.

"What? You mean we're not?"

"Well, not all of us." Emmy grinned and kicked Envy through the Gateway. "Have a nice trip, senpai!" she called after him.

"Envy!" gasped Rachel, but she was held back by Emmy.

"He'll-ow!-be back soon, Onii-chan!" she grunted through her sister's struggling.

"Really? Damn," muttered Ed.

So… Although that's a very lame chapter ending, I'm tired and lazy, so I'm not writing anymore. And I really do have writer's block. And! I will now be holding a vote about whether or not I should put pairings in! Please tell me what you think through reviews. If you want me to include a NON-yaoi pairing (curse you, yaoi!) please tell me what it is. Pairings may include OC's (mine or yours) and other FMA characters. Or, heck, as long as I'm being accepting, I'll even take characters from other shows! If you fill out this description thingy, I'll turn you into an OC for my story! Neat, huh? Remember, via reviews:::Wants more reviews:::

Full Name:

Age:

Description (complete with what you wear, skin color, and height):

Species:

Powers:

Skills:

Weapon of choice (if you have one):

Personality:

Thank you, and merry Christmas! No, wait! Don't go spend Christmas with your families! NOOO!!!