Okay, sorry everybody! In the last chapter, I said, "curse you, yaoi!"
Know that I did not mean that! I have absolutely nothing against gays; it's just that most pairings I hate are yaoi. What I MEANT was "curse you, slash!"
So, like, yeah. Please don't get pissed at me, I don't hate gays! FORGIVE ME:::sobs:::
Oh… Yeah… Disclaimer time!
Disclaimer: As I said in the last chapter, the owners of all the things I mentioned in the last chapter, all of the things I have or will mention were going to sell me their creations! However, they realized the truth… I would ruin their companies… So! I own absolutely none of the stuff in here. Including myself.
And also! This one's dedicated to Kathy Lee Chapa! I love you girl! (not like that.)
Emmy was bored. Really bored. And sorry for almost saying she hated gays (which she didn't). But mostly bored. She drooooooled. On the keyboard. Ew. Excuse me while I clean the keyboard. So, anyway, I, I mean Emmy, cleaned the keyboard, and went back to typing how bored she was. Emmy was bored. AGAIN. She drooled some more to-
"STOP IT!" yelled Ed. Hey, how'd he get there? Excuse me while I slap him. There.
So, there Emmy was, innocently waiting for someone to review her stories. Which were awesome. But she was waiting nonetheless.
"C'mon, peoples…" she said to herself.
"You know that just waiting isn't going to make anything happen," pointed out Ed, standing up and walking over to her, though his hands were tied behind his back. He pushed her off the chair ("hey!" she shouted) and stared at the computer. And magically, reviews appeared! Aw, Edo did that for me? So sweet!
"Thank you Edo-kun!" she cried, jumping up and hugging him.
"Can't… Breathe," he choked.
"Oh, sorry!"
Jumping off of him, she leaned over to check her email.
"Hmm…" she muttered before responding the ONE review she'd gotten for Death List. "Ah, I'm going outside. Edo?"
"If I must," he growled before standing up and walking towards the bedroom door.
"Hey, Edo, wanna take the dog?" she asked, skipping over to where he stood.
"NO."
"Meanie! The dog needs to walk too, ya know!"
"NO. And no is final. Let's just go outside. How come it's like seventy degrees in DECEMBER anyways?"
"Celsius or Fahrenheit?"
"You know what I mean."
"Fahrenheit it is!" she cheered, opening the door for him.
They wandered around for hours, bored as you would be without Envy around. I mean, come one, Ed would get bored too! Why doesn't he do something interesting already?! Well, they wandered nonetheless, and eventually drifted down to the stream that flowed behind Emmy and Rachel's house.
"Hey, Ed, want some lunch?" Emmy asked, plopping down on a large rock that stood in the middle of the stream.
"Sure."
"'Kay!" she cheered. She lifted both hands in the air, and it glowed a moment as a bright red light, before fading into a straw picnic basket with a checkered cloth. She grinned and turned to him, putting it down on the rock in between where she sat and he stood.
"W-Why are you grinning? IS THIS STUFF POISONED?!" he asked, jumping back from the basket and nearly falling into the stream.
"Psh. Of course not, Edo."
"How can I trust you?" he asked, glaring at her.
She made a pout and bambi-eyes. "Y-You don't trust me Edo?" she asked.
"Ah… Oh, fine," he growled, picking up the basket and opening it.
"YAY!" she cheered, jumping on him.
"Gah! Get off of him!" yelled a female voice from the woods.
"Who's there?!" Emmy asked, spinning around and suddenly professional.
"It's me," said the voice darkly. And then, from the forest, a girl jumped onto the rock behind them.
"GAH!" Emmy and Ed screamed in unison, falling backwards into the stream.
Behind them stood a girl in a loose, tie-dye shirt. Her reddish-brown hair was held back by a cloth tied around her head, and beads dangled from the ends of the locks. She glared down at Emmy, who was wiping mud and trash off herself from the stream.
"Gross," she muttered, flicking off a cigarette butt.
"'Tis not gross!" exclaimed the girl, "You must appreciate nature!"
"This. Is not. NATURE!" Emmy said, pushing an old beer can off her lap.
"Hmm, you're right… SOMEONE SHOULD CLEAN THIS STREAM UP!" she cheered. She waved a finger in the air before jumping down and helping Ed to his feet. She blushed incredibly obviously before bowing her head. "My name is Kathy Lee Chapa! Title: Illusion Alchemist, age sixteen, total hippie, and completely dedicated fangirl of you, sir, Edward Elric!"
He stared at her. "Um… Oh… Kay?"
"Well!" said Emmy, standing up and jumping in front of Ed to glare at Kathy, "I'm the Night Sky Alchemist! I, like you, am a hippie, I'm a vegetarian, age fourteen (yes, my age changed since last chapter, get used to it,) Risembool Ranger, fangirl of Edward Elric, professional kidnapper, assassin, AND proficient with firearms and video games!"
"Wow, really?" said Kathy, blinking, "Me too! Wow, this is like, so cool! We should be friends! Hey, will you share Ed with me? Please please please please please?"
"Um… Sure! Kathy, right?"
"Yes sir!" she said, saluting jokingly.
"'Kay then! I'm Emmy! Let's be friends! Blood seal!"
"Blood seal!" agreed Kathy enthusiastically. They both pulled out the hand-knives they had just in case and pricked their fingers. They touched their fingers together briefly and pulled away, grinning. "Red dawn!" they chanted in unison.
"You know that that's one of the things that can give you AIDS," Ed pointed out.
They blinked at him. "Wow, really? Oh well."
"… I have a feeling that both of you will die soon."
"Silence hostage!" shouted Kathy, jabbing a finger at him. "From now on, I'm staying in this house!"
"What? Why?" asked Emmy.
"Because! We're sharing Ed, right?"
"Well, yeah, but, what about your house?"
Kathy blinked. "Hahaha!!! This is my house!" she said, gesturing to the forest.
"Wow…" breathed Emmy, "You are more of a hippie than me…"
"Well, yeah. I got kicked out of my old house for ranting about Ed too much,"
"That's a little creepy," Ed said.
Emmy and Kathy stared at him. "So cute!" they cheered in unison, before tying him up again and carrying him back to the house. He didn't even get to finish his lunch.
So? Lame? Good! Kathy, please review! You are my life! Anyways, you will be appearing a lot, so don't worry that this is a one-time thing. Anybody else that would like to be turned into an OC, I'm glad to use you! Also, if you like neither Ed nor Envy, you can tell me which bishi you'd like me to bring into my story! Heck, I even accept girl bishis! OCs of either gender are welcomed, and of course, either orientation! Just mail me if you want to be brought into the story! I'll gladly accept!