Wow sorry guys it took more time than usual. I hope you'll like it I really have no time to write these days. I have a big exam Monday and on top of that I'm really busy this week. I hope I'll update again before Sunday, but I should be able to do it if I get enough reviews ;) Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I really loved reading your comments
Tears
Jacob didn't want to understand. He was so mad at me I was feeling like the most disgusting person alive. He was rambling about Edward being a "filthy bloodsucker" He would stop to look at me once in a while only to shrug and frown at my scent again and again. I was very aware that I had wronged him by kissing Edward. I had apologized and apologized over the past few hours but nothing seemed to bring him peace. "It was nothing I promised." I said trying to put a sentence in between his growls. "Don't lie to me Bella you entire body reeks vampire." Jacob replied angrily. His fury was visible on his face but I could see the hurt in his eyes being reflected in mine. My heart was pounding deep in my chest when I stopped to think about this afternoon. Was it real, had Edward and I really kissed or was it just my twisted imagination stepping in to ruin my life. Tears formed into my eyes as I thought about how hopeful my heart had become for a moment. Tears for my love towards Edward, tears for Jake whom I loved too, tears for my shattered dreams. Tears for the unspoken words raging through my heart. "He comes back after breaking you and you threw yourself in his bloodsucking arms." I quick found out it was hard to breath in here. I'd really hurt Jake, of course he would be worried I would go back to Edward. But I had to tell him about the kiss because I felt like honesty would be the only thing able to save us right now. "Jake please, I lost control I thought he was dead. He killed Victoria." I tried to be rational about this though there wasn't anything to be rational over. Edward hadn't come back to steal me away from Jake. In fact I didn't know why he'd come back. I could still feel the coldness of his body and his strong arms holding me close in a protective manner like it was their only purpose. It was because of the kiss that Jacob was so upset. It was because of the same kiss that I was so upset. I didn't know what I was hoping for, that he would forgive me or that he wouldn't. Did I deserve to be forgiven? Did I deserve to be loved when I was obsessed with another man? Well, a vampire not a man. How did my world get so complicated? "Please Jake say something." Anything would be better than that awkward silence. "Are you still in love with him." I was wrong, this wasn't better at all. He asked and I stopped breathing. It was the question I dreaded the most because I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to say the truth either. "Jake I'm with you now and you've imprinted on me. I love you, I won't leave you." Jake became uneasy like something was bothering him. I could see he was no longer mad at me. He took me in his arms but I couldn't help but notice that it wasn't as intense as when Edward was holding me. He wrinkled his nose, I knew the smell was bothering him. "I'm going to take a shower." I kissed him lightly. "It's late, I should go, Charlie will be back soon." I nodded, a little relieve that I would be alone to think about this crazy day.
I went upstairs and decided to take a bath. The hot water and the bubbles soothed my heart. I relaxed for about half an hour before my muscles stopped hurting. I had woken up thinking that Edward was dead and now I had kissed him, made Jake really mad at me and almost ruining our relationship. I couldn't stop asking myself why Edward had kissed me, why I had let him kiss me. I didn't make sense. Now he was probably a hundred miles away. I was beating myself up for everything I had done that day. When I reminisced about the kiss, my breathing got heavier. I really wanted it but it felt like he wanted it as much as me or even more.
I dried myself and put a towel around me, heading for my bedroom. I was about to drop it and change when I realised that the shadow standing in the corner was looking too familiar. It was Edward. I choked in surprise. "What?" I stopped, unable to form any other coherent words. "Bella, I have to talk to you."