Author's Notes: Yeah yeah! I know, another long delay between chappy's. Im truly sorry. RL just keeps dragging me away and writer's block makes me stare at my monitor for hours at a time before my eyes cross and I have to finally admit defeat and go to bed. BUT...I hope this chapter makes up for making you all wait. AND...I will be updating my other stories now that I have finally finished this chappy. On to the story!

Blue Balls and Poisoned Coffee

"Hungry?" Sasuke smirked, his hands held against the heat of the fire as he crouched in front of it watching the two men over the flames. Neither shinobi paid any attention as they continued to stuff their faces. Sasuke thought that even if Kyuubi itself had ripped it's way out of Naruto's body and was about to kill the two jonin, they wouldn't notice.

By the time Shikamaru looked up from the scrolls he had been pouring over, Kakashi and Genma were passed out next to a set of empty bento's, "I guess the last two months dodging hunter nins took its toll."

"Maybe just a little bit." Sasuke moved to the mouth of the cave, pulling his cloak tight around him, "Let the dobes sleep, Ill take the first watch."

Shikamaru grunted his approval, his attention already back on the scrolls spread out around him. Every possible scenario had to be considered and various options presented for each in the event something did go wrong. The mission must be a success. There was no room for failure given the situation. Weapons as destructive as the ones that had been tested on villages along the borders of Wind could not be allowed to exist he thought scribbling notes from the scroll Genma had given him.

Sasuke glanced over at the strategist, "You know, if you stare at something long enough you start to see things that aren't really there."

"According to their information, rumors about Ryuujin suggest he has a weakness for rare items. It could be the key to getting them into his fortress."

"Items? How is that going to help? It's not like Kakashi and Genma are toting around a priceless painting."

"Im not sure yet." Shikamaru looked over the two sleeping shinobi, "I guess we don't have a choice but to wait till morning to figure it out."

Sasuke turned, leaning against the jagged wall. Already eight months of their lives revolved around this mission. But the most difficult and dangerous part was about to begin. How long would it take his team mates to get the information they needed and come home?

Since the mission had begun, three seasons had already passed, one into the other. The fourth had finally covered most of the country with a beautiful layer of white. How many more would come and go before the mission came to an end?

He hoped not many for Kakashi and Genma's sake.

When the two shinobi finally appeared at the edge of the clearing, he felt relieved to see them still alive and in one piece. But upon closer inspection, both men were much thinner than when they had left Konoha. Genma had simply handed over their report and headed straight for the cave, collapsing against the wall, Kakashi not far behind.

Sasuke inhaled the cool air and let it out slowly, watching his breath curl like a cloud on the wind. 'That was only an hour ago.' he thought glancing back at the two slumbering shinobi curled up against the cold and as close to the fire as they could get.

Both men seemed to have fallen asleep the moment they hit the floor of the cave, the sound of the pack landing between them didn't even peek their curiosity. At least not until their keen sense of smell alerted them to the two overstuffed bento boxes hiding inside. The moment they realized there was real food, it had been every man for himself.

'I'm surprised the pack survived the attack.' Sasuke smirked, turning back to his post.

He remembered being alone for a long time before returning to Konoha. Living the way Kakashi and Genma had been forced to live the last two months. It wasn't a life he would wish upon any one of his precious people he thought looking up at the vast blanket of stars. Pulling his hood over his head, he silently wished it were snowing now, like it had for days before they arrived to meet their companions.

Clear skies meant colder nights.

"Shit." Genma cursed wrapping his cloak around his shoulders and heading for the cave entrance.

"What's his problem?" Sasuke asked, curiously watching the man hopping up and down for moment before running off out of sight.

"He's worried little Genma will freeze and fall off. Been holding it for hours now." Kakashi grinned pouring a tin cup to the brim with freshly cooked coffee.

"I didn't think you were a coffee drinker."

"I am today." Kakashi smirked before gulping down the entire cup of steaming mud.

Coffee brewed over an open fire was never a good idea. But he wasn't going to complain after spending two months consuming things he felt might still be wiggling around somewhere in the deep pit of his gut.

"I have this theory that I could thaw myself out from the inside." he added in a strained voice, trying hard not to look disgusted or in pain, which he decided was more difficult without his mask to hide behind.

Sasuke tossed another log on the fire, "Well don't complain later when it comes out the other end. Shika made it. And we all know how well he cooks."

Kakashi glanced down into his cup and stuck a finger in to dig something out, flicking it on the ground, "Maybe Ryuujin will think we've been poison and take pity on us."

Genma darted in from the cold still cursing under his breath as he quickly made his way back to his perch next to Kakashi, holding his hands as close to the fire as he dared, "I've got the worst case of blue balls in the history of Fire Country and it has nothing to do with sex." his teeth chattered.

"Would you three shut the hell up already." Shikamaru frowned, not bothering to look up at the three jonin who seemed to fall right back into their lazy mode as if they were sitting in ANBU headquarters making small talk and paper shuriken again.

Genma eagerly poured himself a cup of coffee, wrapping his hands around it just to keep warm, "Where were we? Weakness or something right?"

"Blue balls."

"Poison coffee."

Shikamaru closed his eyes and counted to ten, Sasuke and Kakashi grinned at each other over the fire, Genma sniffed his coffee suspiciously.

"I was saying, Shiranui, that Ryuujin collects rare items. It's a weakness on his part because he covets them and sometimes goes out of his way to obtain them...according to your own notes shit head." Shikamaru reminded the senbon sucking shinobi in a rather sarcastic tone, chucking a scroll at the his head.

"I think the boss is pissed at you Genma, he called you by your last name." Sasuke smirked.

"He also called me a shit head, but Im not worried."

"Priceless. The word the informant used was priceless." Kakashi corrected, sounding bored.

"Well, don't look at me. I left all my rare and unique possessions back in Konoha." Genma quipped, pulling his turtleneck up over his face.

The four shinobi fell silent, the only obstacle that lay between them and Ryuujin, weighing heavily on their minds. They would need something the self proclaimed God would desire, but couldn't use against them or anyone else. Something they could risk losing without Tsunade beating the crap out of them.

"Sasuke. Can you go back to Konoha and bring me something I left behind?"

Genma looked at Kakashi as if he'd lost his mind, Sasuke raised a curious eyebrow, but Shikamaru glared disapprovingly, "I don't think Ryuujin would consider your collection of Icha Icha priceless."

He had examined every inch of the grounds before entering, noting that all the windows and doors had been boarded up and sealed for many years. Although a few of the seals had recently been replaced, no other visible effort had been made to maintain the property. The house he was suppose to break into turned out to be an estate comparable to the Uchiha home he was born in. It was large, but not ostentatious. There were no fancy additions to the exterior. No family emblems or fancy gardens. He thought it was beautiful for all its simplicity.

Sasuke took a few minutes to let his eyes adjust. Even the sunlight that shined through the open door didn't allow him to see much further than the small entrance. His eyes roamed over the room. To the hooks on the wall where the family would have hung their cloaks in winter. The benches where they would have sat to remove their shoes. The empty planter in the corner where he was sure a lush green plant had once made guests feel welcome.

It was completely silent.

Empty.

Dead.

Like the family that had lived here.

He briefly wondered what other secrets his sempai was keeping from him as he made his way through the first room into the main hall, running his hand over the wood frame of the door. His finger tracing the detailed carvings. The normally stoic Uchiha couldn't help admiring the quality of craftsmanship that had gone into the construction.

He imagined the house reflected the Hatake's themselves, strong yet humble.

It was certainly the way he saw his sempai. The man never boasted about anything. He doubted that anyone knew Hatake Kakashi as well as they thought they did. Sasuke thought about the mans behavior over the last year, 'Nearly a year and a half now.' he corrected himself.

Wiping his dusty fingers on the inside of his cloak, he set about in search of the item he had been sent to retrieve. 'Continue straight ahead until you reach a door.' Dust curled up around his feet with every step and a trail of footprints followed him like a ghost. It was unusual for a families dojo to be located in the center of the home, but Kakashi had called it the heart of his family and that was something Sasuke could understand.

Sasuke glanced down the hallway on either side before stepping up to the double door. It was the only one he could see in the dark hallway, right where it should be, directly ahead of the main entrance. Grabbing the bird shaped handles gently, he slid them away from each other. He was surprised that the room appeared brighter than the rest of the house. Breathing a silently plea for forgiveness for not removing his shoes, he stepped into the room and looked around.

Like the rest of the house, it was simple and dramatic at the same time with similar detailed carvings in the wood posts and door frames. But what caught his eye was the set of four glass panes set into the ceiling. The soft moonlight casting an eerie glow over the room. There were several plant pots lining the walls, empty like the one near the entrance and every one he had passed in the hallway. The reason for the skylight windows he decided.

Apparently the Hatake's loved plants.

Walking along the edge of the room, Sasuke took in every detail. From the various weapons decorating the walls to the small shrine opposite of the door he had entered. Everything was coated in a protective layer of dust and the air was thick with the ghosts of the past. It reminded him of the few times he had returned to his old home.

Sasuke took a slow deep breath and turned back to the shrine, his eye catching something he hadn't noticed before. The floor appeared darker, even beneath the layer of dust. It appeared to be a dark shadow cast down by on object in the path of the moonlight. Crouching down he swiped his hand over the wood floor, pushing aside the dust and exposing the stained wood.

His breath caught in his throat and he stood abruptly, marching over to the small shrine, feeling behind it for the long wooden box. After a moments fumbling and reaching as far as his arm would fit, his fingers closed over the object and he gently pulled it up. The moment he had it safely tucked into his vest, he turned and walked swiftly from the room, gently closing the doors behind him.

No longer mindful of anything other than leaving, Sasuke hurried up the hallway, back through the small room, stepped out the front door and stopped. Breathing in the cool night air as if he had been suffocating the entire time he had spent inside the abandoned house, he wondered if his sempai felt the same smothering feeling of sadness when he entered his old home.

"Are you going to tell me what's in the box?"

"No."

"Im hurt by your lack of trust." Genma pouted.

"Don't be such a baby. We're going to be staying in an Inn. Isn't that what you wanted?" Kakashi bit back in annoyance.

"Yes. But for how long? Until another next hunter nin tries to take our heads?"

"That or until I kill you myself for driving me insane. Stop whining."

"Im not whining. Im verbally expressing my discomfort with your lack of confidence in my abilities as a shinobi by not revealing to your partner the secret object that will assure our invitation to join one deviantly deranged individual's socially deficient band of misfits."

"Your very articulate this morning. Did you swallow a dictionary for breakfast?"

"Just tell me what's in the box and I wont say another word until we reach the Inn."

Kakashi seemed to debate the offer, then reaching into his pack he pulled out a box and handed it to Genma, "You didn't specify which box." he offered when Genma's face turned red and he chucked the box of condoms at Kakashi's head.

"That's not what I meant and you know it asshole. And why the hell are you carrying a box of condoms around with you? Planning to fuck your way into Ryuujins stronghold?"

Kakashi stood up and gave Genma a lecherous grin, "Is that an...?"

"NO!" Genma yelled before he could finish.

Kakashi sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Your no fun on suicide missions Genma-kun."

True to his word, the brown haired, senbon sucking shinobi didn't say another word for the rest of their journey. Although he did cast angry glances at the silver haired jonin from time to time and mumbled under his breath. 'Twisted fuck' and 'mentally handicapped' were only a few of the insults and curses that Kakashi had overheard during their twelve hour hike to the out of the way Inn.

"You call this an Inn?" Genma growled through gritted teeth.

"What did you expect? Hot springs and beautiful women?"

"I expected something without rats and cockroaches."

"Don't forget the bed bugs and mosquitos." Kakashi slapped the side of his neck and wiped the dead insect on his pant leg.

"I hate you." Genma hissed in his face and headed off up the small dirt trail.