Chapter 4: The Memories That Burn
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, its predecessor and all their characters.
He felt as if he was falling in darkness… An abyss of endless nothingness; its icy touch gliding smoothly over his skin like ebony silk. Cloud closed his eyes and savored the comforting chill of being enfolded in what felt like a death angel's wings. The empty silence was peaceful… Something he had grown to appreciate. It was… His solace.
"Heya Cloud!"
"Cloud?"
"CLOUD! Get your chocobo fluff butt up!"
Cloud groaned inwardly and tried to hide in the shadows. He wanted to be alone… NEEDED to be alone. All that lay before him beyond the veil of darkness was agony… By stepping out into the light… His heart would be exposed and the heartache would start again. Like a small boy cowering in a corner, he shut his eyes and clamped his hands over his ears, in a desperate attempt to hide his weakness… To shut out the voice that gently tugged at his heartstrings.
Strong hands easily pried his fingers away. "Cloud, please… I don't have much time…" The voice was soothing yet urgent and for a split second became unusually clear… It sounded vaguely… Familiar.
Cloud's eyes fluttered open to find a striking blue pair staring straight at him. Those blue orbs matched his perfectly, all the way down to the Mako glow. Cloud felt as if he was staring at his own eyes through a mirror. The boyishly handsome face had a thin cross shaped scar against his lower left jaw and gravity defying black hair. The familiar face was smiling at him widely, the smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. It was a face he had not seen… In years.
Cloud blinked in disbelief. "Zack?"
"What's up man? God you look TERRIBLE! Did you catch the license plates of the #$ing trucks that ran you over?" The raven haired SOLDIER was grinning.
"Zack…"
Zack arched an eyebrow, an amused look on his face. "Cat got your tongue?" He quipped, trying his best not to break into hysterical laughter at the look of total surprise on Cloud's face.
"Zack… Why are you here? Aren't I…?"
"Dreaming? Asleep? Off in Z-Z-land? Yup! I almost busted my ass just to get here…" Zack smiled sheepishly scratching behind his ear. "But… I really needed to see you… I kind of… Well… Need your help…"
"Help?"
"Yeah… You know? Help as in help? Assistance? Aid?"
"I know what 'help' means Zack."
"OooOooo… Touché…"
"… Sorry… I just haven't really been myself… Ever since..." Cloud hesitated, wondering if this was the right time to pour out his sorrows to his best friend… Considering the circumstances.
"Ever since?" Zack's voice was questioning as he sat himself down next to Cloud urging him to continue.
"My… Angel died…" Cloud whispered.
"Angel?" Zack's handsome face had confusion written all over it. A tense silence fell between both men, before the meaning behind his words struck Zack. His face turned sympathetic and comforting as he struggled to find the right words. "Oh… Hey man… I'm… Sorry."
Cloud buried his face between his knees and kept quiet. "……"
"You ok?"
"……"
"That means no."
Cloud shook his head. "It just hurts so much… I want it to stop. And yet, I don't want it to… I just can't let go…"
Zack smacked Cloud's shoulder with a resounding "THACK!" the impact causing Cloud to gasp and choke, sending him into a coughing fit. "Cloud my man, you are seriously messed up." "Yeah, whatever." Cloud mumbled miserably, batting Zack's fingers irritably away from his shoulder.
"However, that aside… Do you remember… Long time ago? I told you I had a girl waiting back for me in Midgar?"
"Vaguely. Why?"
"Help me look after her Cloud…. Help me… Tell her what happened to me." Zack's face was serious, something which was as phenomenal as Cloud goofing around. "She deserves a closure…"
Cloud was silent.
"Please Cloud… Help me. I can't do anything like this… Being dead sucks. I can see everything but I sure as heck can't DO anything… Please…" Zack pleaded wringing his hands in frustration. "Help me look after her Cloud… I just want her to be happy."
"Zack?"
"Please, Cloud…"
"Alright."
Zack blinked and smiled in relief. "Thanks… You really are a good guy."
Silence.
"Cloud? I just want you to know… I trust you." Zack smiled and stood up to go. "Well… I'm out of time… You'll wake up soon… It's time I got going."
"I should be thanking you Zack."
"Hmm?"
"If it weren't for you… I would have…"
"We're friends right?" Zack smiled assuringly, casually throwing something shiny at Cloud and flashing his signature grin. It was like déjà vu all over again. "Here… If ever you need me, just call ya? I'll be here for you." Cloud caught the object easily; the texture was smooth and felt cool against his palm. Metallic. "Thank you."
Zack gave him a little wave as his figure began to slowly fade away into the darkness. "Cloud… Be careful…" His voice echoing softly as he faded.
"What?"
"He's… watching you."
It was then that Cloud woke up. His head was throbbing and his shoulder muscles ached from having fallen asleep next to the flower patch on the church floor. "A dream?" Cloud felt something cool in his tightly clenched fist. Gingerly, his fingers drew back and his face paled to the colour of a bar of ivory soap. His fingers were trembling in disbelief as the metallic object fell out off his palm and onto the stone floor with a soft "Clink" and a metallic rattle.
"…Or was it?"
He knew telling his companions would be a futile attempt. They would demand explanations, explanations which he himself could not provide. How could he? If even he could not even comprehend the meaning of his own dream? He needed answers… There were just too many questions. Cloud knew there was only one place to get them… And that place wasn't Midgar.
"I have to go." He repeated softly, looking straight into his friends' gaze.
"Cloud… Where are you going?" Marlene had stopped playing and came running over to Cloud. Looking as if her world had crashed, her large goo-goo eyes welled with large tears as she tugged gently at his black leather trench coat, in a silent plea for him to stay.
Cloud felt his heart soften at the sight as he knelt over and gave the adorable little girl one of his rare smiles before ruffling her dark hair fondly. "It's a secret." He whispered before he paused and added. "I'll bring back lots of flowers for you ok?" Marlene's eyes lightened up considerably at this and nodded happily. "Just like the one you bought me the last time? That was sooOoOOoo pretty!" she exclaimed excitedly. Cloud froze, his breath stopped short in his throat as the memory hit him with the force of a tidal wave, and threatened to shatter the fortress he had built around his heart.
The first time he saw her...
A lone girl in a modest pink dress, with honey brown hair that tumbled down her back in a loose braid with soft, loose spirals that fell against her shoulders obscuring her face from his view. A group of guys ran past her, knocking her over in their confusion, sending her sprawling on the dusty cobblestone floor.
He had stopped a distance away and watched as she picked herself up gracefully and started brushing the dust off her clothes with her hands, looking as if nothing had happened at all. He didn't know why, somehow his feet felt rooted to the ground as he stared at her silently. She was tucking the loose strands of hair back as she surveyed her surroundings, hooking a small basket of yellow flowers in one arm. Cloud realised she was very pretty, with delicate soft features that seemed to radiate the gentleness of her soul. She was looking around, a confused look on her face and that's when she noticed him…
At that moment, evergreen met cerulean… And Cloud was lost. Her eyes were the exact shade of the budding new leaves of spring, the kind you look up to see sunlight pouring through. Nature's first green is gold…. He thought dizzily, the line from a poem he had read years ago froze in his mind like lightning. This was the colour the poet meant…
"Excuse me." The girl was walking towards him, her voice that would have been cheery and light was laced with anxiety and curiosity. "What happened?"
" Nothing... hey, listen..." Cloud stole a second glance at the flower girl and his voice trailed off, struck completely into a silent stupor by the young girl's loveliness. "..." She seemed to exude an air about her, like the calm after a storm.
"Don't see many flowers around here" He finally managed to croak out, having the grace to look somewhat sheepish as he stared into her glassy, green orbs. In the depths of his mind, she was glowing, surrounded in a silver halo, a brilliant shard of light in the dreary town of Midgar.
"Oh, these? Do you like them? They're only a gil...?" She was smiling at him now. He was mesmerized. Her smile was breathtaking, a simple upturn of her rosy lips that bloomed like a flower and blinded him with its beauty. Cloud could only stare stupefied as he reached a hand into her basket and gently fingered the petals of a bright yellow flower; it was the golden colour of melted syrup. Smiling slightly, he dug a hand in his pocket and handed her a gil.
"Oh, thank you!" She exclaimed happily accepting the gil and tucking it into her jacket pocket. "Here you are!" Selecting the flower that had caught his interest, she placed it in his hand. The instant their fingers touched, Cloud felt his world melt away, and found himself floating in a golden haze that sparkled and shimmered with the brilliance of stars…
When he finally recovered from his daze, he was holding the yellow flower in his hand… And she was gone.
Aeris… Cloud thought in pained longing. Why? "Cloud?" Marlene was looking at him curiously cocking her head slightly to one side and momentarily seemed to morph into a splitting image of HER. Cloud forced a cheery smile and tucked a lose strand of hair behind the little girl's ear. "Sure… Just like the one I bought you before." Marlene grinned and ran over to hug Tifa about the legs.
The rain was coming down hard now, the sound of raindrops falling sounded like the rattle of coins falling against the pavement. Cloud seemed unaffected as he slowly straightened up, expertly checked his shouldered weapon and strode swiftly towards the gate. His dripping hair was still sticking up despite the downpour, his eyes staring straight ahead without a trace of emotion, the trail of raindrops streaking his face like tears.
Barret and Tifa simply stood staring under the safety of their umbrellas at the vanishing back of the distraught young man. Tifa sighed and felt her shoulders slump from disappointment. Her companion simply draped his good arm around her shoulders, gave her arm a gentle squeeze and said only two words. "Let's go."
Her chestnut eyes trembled slightly and glittered with unshed tears as she bit her lip silently and turned to go, scooping Marlene in her arms as she went on her way. Barret sighed and turned towards Cloud. "Cloud!"
The blonde man in the distance stopped in mid-step, but didn't bother to turn around. "At least promise me ya won't do anything crazy! Everyone's worried about ya, ya foo'!" With that, Barret took off running to catch up with Tifa and Marlene to head for shelter.
Cloud waited for the sound of the large man's footsteps to fade into the rain before he replied. "If I promised you that…" He reached a hand into his jeans front pocket and pulled out his gift from Zack. Holding it in his hand, Cloud stared at it blankly and fingered the smooth contours reverently before his fingers closed around it, clasping it so tight his knuckles bled white.
"… I would be lying."
Another chappie! The plot continues to thicken! Ah! Thanks for all your good advices and suggestions! So please send them coming ne? Than I can be as good a writer as possible!
Going for cosplay on July 10! Guess who I'm going as:P Hope I can the outfit completed by then… Ha ha ha! Will be uploading pictures after that of course! BUT… Will only be featured in my bloggie! BUAHAHAHAHA! Wanna see? Then please gimme a review with your e-mail address! And I will definitely send it to you!
Ha ha… Yet another scheme for me to get more reviews… :P
OOoOOo! Next chappie is a toughie! Vote time! What should happen next?
Cloud continues to mope
Cloud searches for Zack's girl
Cloud wanders aimlessly.
Cloud dies (haha! NEVER!)
We miss Aeris! What happened to her?
F. Leave it to the author. : (NOOOOO! Then I have to smash my head on the wall again…)
Ha ha… So send in your suggestions ne? So I can update as soon as possible! Cheers!
Shouts To!
lady tsuzuki: YAY! New reviewer! (glomps you) Yes! Cloud and Aeris all the way!
LastCetra: YES! Cloud and Aeris forever! Did you play Itadaki Street? The intro movie with Cloud and Aeris is so KEE-YOOOOT!
icewolf9: OoOOoOo…. Butter that toast! An FFX fic? Cool! E-mail me when you're done? I would love to review you! Was thinking of writing a one shot... But no inspiration thus far! Ha ha ha ha….
asga: Nice to see a regular! Seeing your ardent support really makes my day:p Still thinking whether to make this story end on a happy note or a sad one… Hmmm…. (evil grin)
Clorith: Thanks for the suggestion! Cloud is withdrawing himself into his little cocoon now and his thoughts are all in narrative! Have to admit, it doesn't only make him more in tune with his character but a lot more mysterious ne? (winks) : (glomps you) Hey girl! When are we going out again?