After recess, the twelfth years were sent to English class, which was, unfortunately for many, taught by Ms Hera. Ares swaggered into the classroom with an air of superiority and confidence, unlike the rest of the class who were mainly cowering in fear. It was his mum that was teaching after all.
They took their appropriate seats and waited nervously for their teacher. They didn't have to wait long; Hera arrived in a dramatic bang of blue smoke right in front of the blackboard. Several people couldn't help gasping. A few easily scared people jumped in their seats. Ares rolled his eyes, something that would've earned anybody else in the class a week full of detention.
Hera was a very striking person to begin with. She was tall, with a thin mouth that was easily turned into a frown, slanting blue eyes that narrowed when there was the slightest thing that displeased her and steel grey hair pulled up in a severe bun at the back of her head. She was also quite known for wearing beautifully sewn clothes and extravagant jewellery. Today, she was dressed in shimmering midnight blue robes with silver embroidery at the sleeves and hem and an enormous sparkling sapphire pendant. Just looking at her made their eyes water.
"Good morning class."
"Good morning Ms Hera,' the class droned back.
She glared disapprovingly at all their drooping eyelids and faces slumped on desks and frowned. And when Hera frowns, it isn't just a slight turn at the mouth. No, it is a full on death defying glare that bunched up all her nonexistent wrinkles.
"Tsk-tsk," she tutted loftily, "I would expect year ones to do better. Just because the holidays are over it doesn't mean you can't say a proper good morning.'
Hercules yawned unconcernedly and slumped forwards onto his desk.
"Because the first time was so sloppy, maybe you can-" her eagle eyes noticed Hercules' slumped form, "SIT UP STRAIGHT MR HERCULES AND PAY ATTENTION OR OTHERWISE YOU'LL BE GETTING DETENTION!"
The class jumped. Hercules practically shot out of his seat. Ares snickered softly.
Hera smiled like a cat getting scratched behind its ears and began talking again in that horribly soft voice. "Now seeing as I have your attention..." she paused suddenly and looked around the class. "Where are Persephone, Persues Phineus and Psyche?"
As if on cue, the four burst into the class. They were panting heavily covered in dirt, leaves and bits of bark.
"We're sorry, Ms Hera,' said Persephone huffing and puffing, "but we kinda got lost during sport lesson. I think Poseidon sent you a note and-'
She stopped at the look on Hera's face.
"How nice of you to join us finally," she said sweetly. "DETENTION! FOR YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU!"
"But I didn't do anything,' exclaimed Artemis, looking scandalised.
"Speaking without permission!" shrieked Hera, "DETENTION!"
There was some sort of silence ringing after her last word, broken only by Ares chuckling silently to himself.
"Now," said Hera, taking huge breaths through her slightly hooked nose. "Everybody turn to chapter one of The Essential Guide to the English Language for Year Twelves by Artemis Fowl and read it. No talking."
"Hey, isn't he that dude who wrote the maths, science and history books as well?" muttered Hermes under his breath. "Nerd."
"What did I just say Hermes?" asked Hera in a dead calm voice.
"You said not to talk. But I wasn't talking," he said mischievously.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW? DETENTION! NOW STOP TALKING AND GET BACK TO WORK THIS INSTANT!"
She slammed a closed fist down on the table space in front of him. Tiny spider web cracks ran across the white surface.
Cupid winced. "Ouch, that's gotta hurt."
Hera hissed and turned white with fury.
Artemis put up her hand. "Excuse me…Ms Hera," she added as an afterthought.
Hera turned to her and returned to her normal colour in a matter of seconds. "Yes?"
"The author of this book is called Artemis, but it says he's a boy. Is that a publishing error or couldn't his parents tell what he was when he was born?"
Thankfully it was at that moment when Zeus decided to poke his head in the room or who knows what would have happened?
"Er Hera darling, is this a bad time? Because you're sort of needed in the science lab. The second years, well they blew something up and Hades kinda needs you to fix it."
Hera grinded her teeth loudly and took deep breaths (as instructed by her anger management class) before sweeping out the door. Zeus gave her a worried glance and hurried after her.
Orion raised his hands in prayer. "Thank you second years for blowing something up, I praise thee. Seriously though I thought Hera was gonna blow up."
"Yeah, way too close," said Athena, "by the way, Artemis is both a girl and a boy name."
All Artemis managed was a disgruntled, "humph."
By the time Hera came back she appeared calmer and the year twelves were sitting with their arms folded and hopeful smiles on their faces. Hera was not impressed.
"Have you finished reading?' she asked with a frown on her face. She hated when children tried to get on her better side through…whatever they were trying to do.
A few mumbled "Yeses" and "mm-hmms" echoed around the place. Hera frowned again. Non-eloquence was another thing she really hated. If there ever was a list of all the things she hated, it would probably be able to wrap twice around the world.
"Good, because I am testing you on it."
The class groaned, Achilles the loudest.
Hera leaned over until they were eye to eye. "Do you want a test or detention?"
"I'll take my chances with the second option," Achilles said weakly. He was one of the best at sport and top in the class in weapon handling, but when it came to matters of wielding a pen or pencil, he was totally lost.
Hera pursed her lips. "Fine, you will do detention at lunch with Hades along with your other classmates, but you still have to do the test."
"Hey, what? That's not fair."
"I'm afraid it is not up to you to decide what is fair or not." She began gliding off.
"Hey wait, but if I do the test then I don't have to do detention right?" Achilles pleaded. It wasn't often you saw a tough warrior pleading with his teacher about schoolwork.
"Hmm, let me think about that. How about...NO! Oh, and everyone who fails to achieve 80 percent or higher will receive…DETENTION!"
Resigned to their fate, the class began doing the test that had mysteriously appeared on their desks. It was 50 pages long, ridiculously hard and included stuff that weren't even in the first chapter as well as maths, science and social studies.
Athena started eagerly on the test unlike some of her classmates who gave up after a few minutes. Artemis skipped through the test doing what she could, which was not a lot because the test was incredibly hard. Ares took a more direct approach and tore out the pages he couldn't do until all that was left was the cover page and the back page, pleased with his work he leaned back in his chair and took a little nap. Aphrodite was truly puzzled, having never read anything more than gossip magazine articles she hadn't even attempted the…book…and was now reapplying her make-up, sure that her connection with Ares would keep her out of detention. Hercules didn't bother with the test as he already had detention and didn't see the point of doing something so pointless. Hermes snuck looks at Athena's test but she was scribbling away so fast and illegibly that there was no point copying her work. The rest of the class stared at the test incredulously before unanimously giving up.
Hera sighed happily as she observed her unhappy students.
The siren for the end of the period rang suddenly, breaking the gloom like a foghorn in...fog. The entire class leapt up as one and made for the door. Hera just looked on and smiled.
"WHOOPEE!" Dionysus jumped onto his desk and ripped his test in half dramatically.
"Ha! The poor suckers who have English next!"
"YESSS! FREEDOM!"
"Alright! English's over!" shouted Hector gleefully, "what do we have next?"
Persues dove into his bag and pulled out his timetable:
Monday:
1st Period Maths
2nd Period PE
3rd Period PE
Recess
4th Period English
5th Period English
Lunch
6th Period Art
7th Period Physics
Tuesday:
1st Period Year Meeting
2nd Period LOTE
3rd Period Chemistry
Recess
4th Period PLS
5th Period Free
Lunch
6th Period PE
7th Period English
Wednesday:
1st Period English
2nd Period Maths
3rd Period PE
Recess
4th Period Music
5th Period Drama
Lunch
6th Period Drama
7th Period Geography
Thursday:
1st Period Home ec
2nd Period Home ec
3rd Period PE
Recess
4th Period PE
5th Period History
Lunch
6th Period Biology
7th Period Maths
Friday:
1st Period Assembly��
2nd Period Maths
3rd Period Free
Recess
4th Period Art
5th Period Music
Lunch
6th Period LOTE
7th Period PE
Persues paled and collapsed back into his seat.
"Well, what do we have next?" Achilles demanded snatching up Persues' timetable to see for himself.
"Oh. Dear." At that everyone pulled out their timetables and one by one sank into their seats.
"Now that we're settled, perhaps you can bring your tests up so I can mark them." said Hera with steel in her voice.
Dionysus looked regretfully at his shredded test but brightened when he discovered a bottle of coke that had somehow escaped his attention until now. He happily handed his test in and began drinking. Athena appeared not to have heard Hera and continued scribbling.
"Athena! When I tell you to hand your test in I expect to be obeyed...DETENTION!"
The class realised Hera was on a roll (her detention roll) and became rather subdued. She looked around, disappointed that no one else had said anything so she couldn't give out any more detentions. Sighing, she turned to the task at hand when she saw Dionysus drinking his coke. Guess who got detention?
In a remarkable 30 seconds all the tests were marked and redistributed. Everyone had failed except Athena who got 81 percent, but she had detention anyway. Hera smiled inwardly, this had to be a world record, the entire year in detention. Then she remembered the time she put the entire school in detention and smiled even more. By the end of the period Hera was positively glowing and went to her next class humming.