Fairytales don't always have a happy ending Chapter 2: With the Lips of an Angel, a gilmore girls fanfic

Title: Fairytales don't always have a happy ending... do they?
Author: Clashingway

Summary /// A/N: The first chapter basically is the rewriting of what happened in 6x08, Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing out, in Jess Mariano's point of view. This was an assignment for my Creative Writing Class (but only the first chapter), which means it was kind of supposed to be a oneshot.
But I decided to write more - so this actually became the beginning of a fan fiction and as you can see, there WILL be more chapters later in time.
Please review.

Disclaimer: The script for the actual episode of Gilmore Girls (6x08, Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out) has been written by Daniel Palladino and it's original airdate on the WB was November 11, 2005. Gilmore Girls and other related entities, as well as the mentioned locations, are property of the writers of the show - Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino, the Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television.
The lyrics of the songs I used and the songs themselves belong to their beloved owners, that are mentioned after each and every song.
I only borrow the characters and locations, as well as the songs, and if any of their owners would like me to remove their properties out of my story, I ask them to tell me and Ill do it as soon as possible.

Lips of an Angel

Usually, my car radio blurts out music like no other, because I just can't stand silence. Silence usually is driving me nuts. But that day, I couldn't stand the music. It was killing me.
No matter how often I pushed the 'skip/search'-button, every radio station played songs that seemed to be somehow connected to her. To Rory Gilmore.

"...For what you do to me
oh Baby theres no measure
I've taken everything and
Now I want to give it
I left the lights on so you stumble in devotion
So easy
So easy
Its left unspoken..."
(The Distillers - Love is Paranoid)

The Distillers. Not a good idea - Rory and I had gone to a Distillers concert the day of the ice-hockey game. So we both liked them. Besides, those lyrics were too much right now. Because - even if I probably... no, most certainly... wouldn't have admitted it if anyone would've asked, I still wasn't completely over her and seeing her the way I had that day made me wish even more that I could be with her; could be there for her.
I zapped to the next channel.

"...Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double..."
(The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go)

The Clash. And again, there was nothing I could say, but: Bad idea. The Clash was another band Rory and I both liked... at least, if that Hutzenbanner, Houndscanner, Huntzberger, or whatever his name was, hadn't gotten her all into Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera yet. Besides, this is the song that had been in my head all the time when I had left to California and when I had left the day she smashed all the 'no's against my head. When I had left the one and only, for a guy who had left my Mom and me shortly after I had been born. And... had following him to Venice Beach had been worth it? Hell, no.
Again, I zapped to the next channel.

"...And the sun which formerly shone
In the clearest summer sky
Suddenly just changed address
Now shines from her blue eyes
Then she appeared, brittle shooting star that dropped in my lap
Then she appeared, dressed in tricolor and phrygian cap
I was a little troubled
Hookah with my senses bubbled
All Edward leared
Then she appeared

And the moon which formerly shone
On the marbled midnight mile
Suddenly just packed its bags
Now shines from her bright smile
Then she appeared
Out of nowhere..."
(XTC - Then She Appeared)

Duh. What was it with all those stupid radio stations? Couldn't ONE play songs that would distract me? Songs, that could mean absolutely nothing regarding Rory? ONE - that was all I was asking for, but even the next channel didn't want to please me...

"...I still love you, Girl From Mars.
Sitting in our dreamy days by the water's edge,
On a cool summer's night.
Fireflies and the stars in the sky,
Gentle glowing light,
From your cigarette.
The breeze blowing softly on my face,
Reminds me of something else.
Something that in my memory has been replaced,
Suddenly it all comes back.

And as I look to the stars.
Surging through the darkness over the moonlight strand,
Electricity in the air.
Twisting all through the night on the terrace,
Now that summer's here.
I know you are almost in love with me,
I can see it in your eyes.
Strange light shimmering over the sea tonight,
And it almost blows my mind
And as I look to the stars

Today I sleep in the chair by the window,
It felt as if you'd returned.
I thought that you were standing over me,
When I woke there was no-one there.
I still love you, Girl From..
Mars"
(Ash - Girl From Mars)

Aaaaaand I zapped again. I really didn't need to do this to myself.
God, it was so... pathetic.

"...Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?..."
(Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry)

Okay. That was enough. I really didn't need to hear more, so I simply hit the off -button. The first time in ages, I was sitting in my car, listening to nothing but the engine and the sounds the passing cars left behind.
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
Obviously not.
Why did it always have to end up like this?
Her. Me. Fighting. It really seemed like we didn't have any great parting lines. This time, we ended up fighting, just because I cared about her. Maybe it wasn't my destiny to care. Maybe I wasn't made for caring about anyone; made to love; made to develop and show feelings. Maybe the life I had lived before I had been sent to Stars Hollow as a teenager had been the life I was supposed to live. The life, I was made for. The life, I could cope with.
Maybe Rory had just made me be fake. Maybe she had made me wish for things too much. She had made me feel what love was, she had made me care, she had made me show at least a little feelings.
And now?
Now those things let us end up fighting.
Ironic, huh?

I knew I had made a lot of mistakes in the past and that she had moved on - but can't we at least be friends? Being able to communicate with her - with Rory, and not with the fake dick-loving woman I had just met, without ending up fighting, was really everything I was asking for.

I got mad at myself.
Really mad.
Why hadn't I told Logan that his presence was everything else but appreciated?!?

While getting closer and closer to Philadelphia, I realized I had to find something that could distract me. Something, that could make me forget.
After all, I had already smoked a whole package of cigarettes now - so that definetely wouldn't have worked anymore. And since I had to work the next day, alcohol wasn't an option either.

After hesitating for a second, I took my phone, dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. God, it seemed like it was taking her hours.
"Hey Shannon... watcha gonna do tonight? ... Wanna... hang out... a little? Okay... grrrreat. Yup, two is okay... Ill be there by then..."
Huh. So... Shannon was planning on coming over two in the morning, which meant she would be there by 1:30.
At least I had a distraction now.

As promised, Shannon came over at one thirty. Fortunately, she was pretty much the opposite of Rory - Shannon was about a head shorter than me, she had blond hair (but you could tell that it was fake - I think her real hair color was black), and brown eyes. Besides she hated books, listened to teen-pop music and was totally into those Indian Bollywood movies.
You could say, Shannon and I were friends with benefits. We were far, far away from being a couple - even from being real friends. We just met occasionally. When I opened the door, she knew exactly what I wanted. And I knew, she wanted it too. It was kind of a hobby to her - and I bet she would've perfectly fitted into my teenage years in New York City. Our lips met the moment she entered the apartment and it only took us a few minutes to end up in my room... and... in my bed.

After some time had passed and we were done, she fell asleep on my bed. I guess, I really did hard on her this time, but I had needed it. Now, I had at least cleared my mind, because I had been thinking about pretty much nothing while we had been in process.
Since I'm really not the kind of guy who sleeps with you - speaking in terms of falling asleep next to you... I'd rather climb out of the window or sneak out the backdoor - I sneaked out of my room and sat down on the sofa, lighting a cigarette and grabbing a book. But the book, the cigarette, and I, we apparently weren't meant to be - I hadn't been sitting there for more than half an hour, when suddenly the phone started ringing.

"Hello?", I asked after I picked it up, probably sounding pretty annoyed.

"Jess...?"

"Honey why are you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why youre crying? Is everything okay?
I've gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Oh Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
Does he know you're talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No I don't think she has a clue

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?"
(Hinder - Lips Of An Angel)