A//N: Okay here is the first of the two chapters I'm sure people will dislike me for. The reason for this being, they are almost straight out of the manga. I added a scene in this chapter that isn't, but other than that, all the events are from the later chapters.

I feel kinda bad for doing this, but they're the transition chapters for my last arc. ((And I apoligize for my misspelling of arc in the last chapter...))

No, I don't own Tsubasa, but I felt these chapters would clear any questions someone who's only seen the anime/not gotten this far in the manga.

SPOILERS. You have been warned.

First Person: Fai's POV

Why? Why can everyone play this game? Why does it seem like I'm the only one left behind by this game they so cruelly call life? Kurogane...he plays so well, he has a full deck of cards and knows many tricks with them...he tosses one after another out at me, never letting me rest until I cry and fall to pieces...I want to be like that. I want to be able to hold myself strong and follow the exact details of what I want The details of what is right.

I can't.

I've even tried to tell myself Syaoran and Sakura are having problems playing the game...they are. Of course they are. Everyone has their problems. But still, at least they can play.

Even now as I watch Syaoran I can see how well they can all play. He fights that being, that robot, it's obvious he aims to win. He aims to do anything and everything he can to get his goal. He takes fate head on and screams in it's face, saying it's wrong, saying he won't listen...

I could never do that. I can't even look at fate's feet without trying to claw my heart out...

Sakura even. She's changed so much, she used to be like me, she couldn't play. She had to depend of Syaoran...now she wants Syaoran to depend on her, she wants to be her own person and contest fate... She knows I can't play. She's even tried to help. Just a few minutes ago she told me to put myself before others from now on.

Those words still ring in my head, pounding at my skull. It's something I'd expect Kurogane to say, but not Princess Sakura...anyone but her...

"Fai? Can you hear me?" Chii?

"I'm listening." A frown...I could not help but frown. I'm glad Kurogane didn't notice, even though he said he would stop playing the game, he still might do something if he saw my expression suddenly change.

Think...There's no more time. I may be safe now, but there is no more time. If I stay here much longer, and if I met King Ashura who woke up...I...

A slight jump came as an automatic reaction as someone gripped very tightly to my arm. I looked to that side, Kurogane...He's giving me that same look he's been giving me on and off for a while now. Telling me everything that he told me in the game with that one look. It's not my fault, I'm valuable, find out where I stand, I hurt people, there's no point in avoiding it. Everything. All in that one look.

I'm sorry Kurogane...I can't believe it. I want to. I want to believe you. I want to let you in. I want to tell you everything, about Yuui, about Ashura, about my life, about why I'm so messed up. About why I can't play.

I stared at him with a wide eye for a moment and then looked back to the fight, Chii no longer in my mind.

I watched as the battle went on. I heard Syaoran say that this would be the final blow and I knew he was correct...even Kurogane said, "It's over." The robot fell...Syaoran won.

Sakura ran to Syaoran's side as he fell...but I was distracted as something fell from the ceiling, it looked so familiar... "Chii?!" I stared in awe as she fell from the sky. It was her, but it was not her. She wore all black, the Chii I knew wore white...

Words... She could travel dimensions? Sakura was leaving. I wouldn't stop her, it was what she wanted, I didn't have the right. This may have been how I thought, but neither Syaoran or Kurogane thought this way. Syaoran clung to her, and Kurogane yelled from my side saying to not let her go.

Something beeped, "There's another dimensional path..."

"Chii's seal has been broken..." These words came whispering from my lips. I had not really meant to say them out loud, but it was true. I could feel it. She was changing back, the King had surely awoken now.

I listened, I had to listen to every word now, nothing could go wrong, everything was so unstable... "I won't make it on time." My eye widened when I heard Sakura speak these words.

"Could it be? Sakura-chan..." I saw things, things I had not seen so clearly since I had been Yuui. It was like I was reliving it again. I remembered the curse, the curse of killing...

I tried to shake my head. I tried to clear these thoughts from my head, but I found I was unable to control anything about myself. That must be it, it was activating, that's why I was seeing it...

I walked forward. For a moment Kurogane's grip held onto me, but I quickly pulled away from it. "Wait!" I felt Kurogane reach out for me again, but I was out of arm's reach. I wished he had been able to keep a hold on me. He had wanted to save me, he had tried so hard, but it was all for nothing. I had tried to warn him. He's so stubborn, but then again, that was something I'd loved about him.

Magic within me activated and I appeared behind Syaoran as Sakura finally managed to throw him off her.

For a moment I stared, watching as the black and white Chii were on either side of Sakura. The two feathers flowed directly to her. Together the magic was far greater than my halved magic. Even though I resisted the action, I reached out and picked up Syaoran's sword. Before I even knew it I had rammed Sakura through with the sword...I had no control at all. It was horrible.

I slowly began to regain control, my eye was able to widen at the heinous crime I'd just committed. My magic lost all control within my body as it was given back to me. My light, one of the only lights I had left...gone. Just like that, just because of me! It was always my fault. I pulled the sword out of her body against my own will and against Kurogane's yells. It couldn't be avoided.

After all everything I loved became dust after I touched it. Everything.

I was screaming. I knew I was screaming. My magic reacted to that sound and my will, destroying everything around. I had complete control. I knew that subconsciously, but my mind didn't have control. I gave control to my emotions, I did this so that I didn't have to think. Emotions were enough to think for me. I didn't want to truly grasp that she was really gone, that I could never see that warm smile again.

I wanted it to just be a dream. I wanted Kurogane to shake me awake. I wanted to sit up and yell at him for entering my room while I was still sleeping, even though I would truly be thankful to him for awakening me from such a horrible nightmare. That wouldn't happen. I knew it wouldn't, this wasn't a dream. It was too real to be a dream. She was really gone.

I was screaming even louder now, I could hear it. I could hear my screams, I knew it was my voice, no one else's, yet I couldn't feel my mouth open, I couldn't feel anything around me, I could hardly even see. I wasn't thinking.

A gentle hand touched me. This touch brought me to a partial sanity. I stopped screaming. My eye softened. I could see. Who had touched me?

Sakura? No, she wasn't bleeding. The real Sakura was behind her bleeding so much that she would surely die. Who was in front of me?

The one in front of me gently took my hand and pulled it up to her gently, "We made it on time. Don't worry, my life won't disappear. It's still here." This other Sakura slowly wrapped her arms around my neck lovingly in an embrace. Her voice whispered to me, "Please don't forget. From now on the future can be changed."

I felt something wet on my face, what was it? After a mere moment I realized that it was tears. Tears. I was crying the tears Kurogane had taught me to cry. Sakura looked at me with pure sympathy. I didn't deserve that look. I didn't deserve that or the words that came after it. "I'm so sorry."

She looked to Kurogane and Syaoran, "Please, take care of Fai-san. Until we meet again."

She was gone then. The two Sakura's going with the two Chii's, one going with mine to my own world...Celes. I watched them completely disappear and then I realized I still had that sword gripped tightly in my hand. A tear dripped off my face as I held it up above my head and stared at it expectantly.

From behind me I suddenly heard my only other light speak, "Don't hurt anyone else with that sword, not even yourself." I turned to look at him in disbelief. Even after seeing what a horrible person I was he still dared to try and help me?

I could not bring myself to look at Kurogane any longer so I looked to Syaoran. His look of sadness and regret overwhelmed my heart and my tears ran faster.

I felt my body give out and I began to fall forward, "I..am...sorry..." I breathed out to him as I fell. Just before my face hit the floor I felt Kurogane's strong grasp grip to my arm holding me up. After that I felt no more.

More words, Yuuko's voice. My eye was closed, they probably thought I was asleep. I was laying against something soft. A bed probably. I wanted to reach out to wherever Kurogane was and hold him close to my body. I wanted to pray deeply to the highest being there was that he would not leave me. No, please not yet...but I resisted. I didn't deserve such things as loving someone or being loved by another. So I listened.

Yuuko spoke about Sakura, about curses and my killing her, about prices, her luck, the future, changing things. As the witch spoke it made sense. At last I propped myself up on my elbows weakly, not looking at anyone, but I spoke then. My voice was a bit horse from the screaming. I didn't even care. "Sakura-chan. She knew didn't she? That I was lying. She knew that there were feathers of hers in the world where I was...Celes country."

"Sakura knew because her power to see ahead through dreams came back when the feather was returned in Tokyo."

I heard Kurogane's low voice speak out, "That princess was a dream-seer too?"

I ignored the comment and kept speaking, "A long time ago I created Chii with a feather that fell in Celes..." I kept on speaking, speaking, speaking. Then I listened when I spoke to Syaoran about his knowing. He knew that I had to have been lying about something. That I had brought a feather with me from Celes to save Sakura in the beginning. "Correct, I had that feather since the very beginning."

I was hardly aware that I was speaking anymore. It just hurt, everything inside me hurt. I wanted to get it out, and as I kept speaking the pain lightly weakened. But it was only so much comfort to me, and it was no comfort to anyone else. It hardly mattered.

Finally I stopped speaking and started to listen again. Kurogane and the others decided that we would hunt for Sakura's body, since her soul was safe within a dream for now, even though it probably wouldn't be safe for long. We would go world hopping, looking for a needle in a haystack. We didn't have that much time, we needed to find Sakura's body now. I knew where it was... "I have a request. The magic power I can use now is probably not enough so..."

"There is a price."

"My right eye." I felt everyone's shocked gazes fall upon me, but I didn't care. "Actually, I'd be okay with gouging out and handing over each eyeball, but this is my magic power itself so if I lose both eyes I'll predictably die. I can't die just yet. So. Make all that this eye can see the price."

"You'll hand over the right eye's eyesight?"

"Yes."

"With that price what is it that you wish?"

I stood straighter, almost afraid of the words I was about to speak, but I kept my face straight. I deserved every ounce of pain I got from this moment on, even more than I had before. "I wish to return to Celes Country."

"No!" Mokona cried, "No way! If Fai did such a thing he'd end up unable to see anything!"

"That's about all I can pay."

I felt something connect with my head. It hit swiftly and hard, and it almost knocked me off my feet. "I said I'd hit you didn't I?" I turned my head to Kurogane with surprise. Yes, he'd said that a couple times, but I had never expected him to actually do it... "Why should you be the only one to pay a price? If her body is in this 'Celes' country then it's not just you that's going is it?"

"B-but..." I didn't even get to finish my argument as Kurogane reached out looping his finger through my collar and dragging my body close to his, our faces only inches apart. "Up until now you and the princess were allowed to do pretty much as you pleased. This time we're doing it as I like." He gave me that look he'd given me when he told me he was going to help me. I wanted to say that throughout this entire world that he'd been controlling my movements, that we'd been doing things as he liked. That wasn't right. He'd never actually forced me to do anything. He'd never held me by his side. He'd only followed, or let me follow...

I stared into his eyes, asking him how the fuck he did it all, but he roughly let go of me turning away from me. He was obviously disgusted by me. "Oi, Witch." He spoke, asking questions, getting answers. He confirmed that Mokona and Syaoran too were coming with us...

"Fai!" Mokona jumped to me, "Let's go together! Let's all pay one forth of the price and then go help Sakura! Together."

"But..." Once again I was cut off, by Syaoran this time.

"The reason I didn't say anything even though I knew you were lying was because the princess trusted you. Even if you were lying she trusted you through every lie." I felt tears want to tug past my eyelid, but I resisted, instead biting my lip lightly and just staring at the boy in front of me. "Back there the princess said to take care of you. Therefore I'll trust you too."

When I heard those words I looked a bit shocked. I wanted to almost yell at Syaoran, call him an idiot, but not out of anger. No, truly the words were almost comforting, but I didn't understand. I was confused. I knew why, I could understand why he said that. It was for the same reason I never pushed Kurogane far enough away that he wasn't within arms reach of my soul. It was because he loved Sakura...but in this case it defied all logic. Even though she had said to take care of me I had killed her in the first place, for Syaoran there should be no trust in me...

"If Fai is alone Sakura will be lonely for sure, but if everyone is together then Sakura will be very, very happy for sure." I looked down at Mokona as she said this and even though I normally would have smiled I could not even muster that much. I only hugged the small creature for it's kindness.

"Before that I'll hit you." I looked to Kurogane who wasn't facing me. I didn't doubt him as Mokona yelled at him and jumped on his head. I came closer to try and pull her off.

This was going to be long night. I wanted it to be over.

I lay in bed. Already I could tell I would get no sleep tonight. Even though everything had been arranged, even though everyone had agreed we'd go through with this when the sun rose, I would get no sleep. I could get no sleep. My mind would be haunted and eaten at by my thoughts. My guilt would chew at my insides at the terrible things I'd done, now more than ever before.

I also knew Syaoran would not sleep tonight. I knew that he too would stay up all night, staring at his wall and thinking through everything that had happened. I knew that it was my fault he'd get no sleep. It was my fault that his precious person was gone. It was my fault, it was my fault, it was my fault. It's always my fault.

I felt so horrible, why couldn't I just die? It'd do the worlds a ton of good if they were to be rid of me. Even though I wasn't cold I pulled the covers more over my body. Just like I knew Syaoran was, I was laying on my side, staring at the wall.

I shut my eye. Not even the wall was lowly enough to deserve my disgracful gaze. I gripped the sheets. I felt like I was being torn apart, but I wasn't, there was nothing to pull. Both sides of me agreed, I was scum. Scum doomed to walk the earth until someone finally came along who could kill me. Someone! Anyone! Please! Kill me! Of course I had to ask someone else to kill me...I was too cowardly to do it myself...

My thoughts drifted to Kurogane. After all he had said that if I wanted to die so badly, he'd do it for me. That had to be a lie...he wouldn't put so much effort into trying to fix someone who he might kill later. It would be a dream, to be killed by him. I would deserve it, to be killed by my one and only light left.

Maybe Kurogane would sleep. I could hope. It was cruel of me to think this, but really he was the one least affected by this. He hadn't done anything wrong, and while he did care about Sakura...she wasn't the most important person to him. He was probably worried all the same. He was such a nice person.

I heard my door open. Who? I didn't even need to turn over or hear a word before my unspoken question was answered. It was Kurogane. I could smell him. Ever since I had drunk from his neck and the lessons from the vampire couple the same day his blood was the most potent scent to me. I could smell his blood even when it wasn't dripping from his body. I could smell it through his skin. "Have you come to play the game? You promised you wouldn't.."

"Im not here to play."

"Okay." I opened my eye to stare at the wall. Everything was silent, but I could smell his blood getting closer to me. I was about to turn over to look at him for a moment, but before I could I felt him grab me around the waist and slowly his arms wrapped around me. His body laid down behind mine.

"What are you doing?" I looked over my shoulder at him. He was still now. His blood red eyes were closed, "You just said you weren't here to play the game!"

"I'm not you idiot!" He yelled this into my shoulder. "Have you ever thought that maybe I'm hurting because of this too? I'm here to get comfort of my own!"

"What about Syaoran-kun? He just lost the one he loved..."

"Exactly, he doesn't want anyone else near him... besides he's already asleep. I knew you wouldn't be so I came to you...actually that's partically a lie...you were always my first choice..." I felt his arms tighten around me. It was almost tight enough that I couldn't breathe. "Turn over." His strong voice commanded me, yet I couldn't obey with his arms holding me so tightly.

"I can't..." His arms withdrew from my body so I turned over like he asked. Almost instantly his arms were around me again, one around my waist one held my head. It's fingers buried deep in my hair as he held my face to his chest.

Neither one of us spoke. Slowly I began to fall asleep...I couldn't help it, he was just too warm, and comforting...

Just before I fell asleep I thought I heard the words, "I love you." from him, but it had to be a trick of my mind just as I fell asleep. I had to just want it so much...for him to not to not find me disgusting like he surely did...

For the first time in a long time I was wearing clothes from my world, my clothes from Celes. It felt a bit strange to be wearing these clothes again. It'd been over a year since I'd worn them, I was so used to wearing a pair of shoes, a pair of pants, shirt, and jacket, if that much. I was no longer accustomed to wearing three layers of clothes to simply keep me warm.

I looked out to where everyone else was already gathered. They were all so...clean, so unharmed, or so it seemed. Even if they were right now, I knew my companions would not be so unharmed once we got out of Celes.

Where would we land after Celes? Would we be attacked again? I couldn't let that happen...not after all the things that have and would happen. They needed to be safe after Celes, even if I wasn't with them. I wrote on air, after a moment Yuuko appeared in the center of the spell cicle. "What could be so important that you actually use your own magic to speak with me?"

I smiled, chuckling a bit, as if nothing had happened. "Well, I've used so much of my magic power already." I could fully remember the power I had used last night. "Anyway, I can't think that we'll be able to visit Celes without anything happening. I want you to ensure that the next world after Celes will be a safe one for them." I couldn't think that I would be leaving with them. I was almost sure I would be staying in Celes somehow...

"The world after Celes...I see..." The Time Witch seemed to ponder over this. "You say "safe" but that can be interpreted in several ways."

I looked over my shoulder at them again, all so safe right now. I bit my lip, I couldn't let anything happen to them. I loved them..."Somewhere where they can at least heal their injuries and rest a while." I took in a breath. "The price?"

"To change the destination for the four of you..." No, it was three...the three of them. "All four must pay a price."

I frowned, no, no don't make them pay...me, only me! "But this is my wish..."

"And thus you will need to pay a price above and beyond the prize you recieved for your chess victory. When you travel to Celes you will use your own tranportation magic."

It didn't even matter anymore, they would be safe. "All right."

"I have already recieved part of the payment."

I stared as she cut off the connection. "What?" I knew it was useless to ask, but I didn't understand. Who had asked for it? Who had paid?

I couldn't find out right now. I turned walking out to them, the ones I loved. The ones who were not quite so doomed as I was.

Mokona looked at me from Syaoran's shoulder, "Are you okay?"

I smiled softly for her, "I'm fine."

"Everyone's ready!" Yuuko came onto the screen that came from Mokona's jewel as Syaoran said this.

"Then, the four payments. Hand over the prize money for the chess victory. In the chess it wasn't just the princess. It's something you all took part in. It's something you earned with your own power, therefore it'll be the payment."

Mokona looked down at the ground. "Mokona didn't take part..."

Syaoran spoke in response before anyone else could, "Because we knew you were waiting, we did our best to return. No. You were with us properly."

"Syaoran..." I smiled softly, and on the other side of Syaoran, Kurogane smiled too. It was a kind thing to say, but then again Syaoran was a kind person.

"There is one more condition..." We all looked to Yuuko wondering what it was...except me. After all I already knew. "When Mokona transports you, Fai use your transport magic along."

The smile instantly faded from my face. I looked to the ground, closed my eye and nodded, "Yes." It was fine, it would keep them safe!

I could feel Syaoran's gaze on me, I knew he was thinking about the time I had said that I couldn't hop dimensions more than once. I couldn't help but apologize to him, "Sorry, I was lying about that too." I turned and looked to Mokona. I wanted to do something before we changed worlds. I wanted to give Kurogane something... "Mokona, could you take out Souhi?"

I watched as she pulled Souhi out from within her and I caught it with my hand walking silently over to Kurogane. "Your hand." He seemed very reluctant. I knew he was disgusted by me, I didn't blame him. I looked emotionlessly at him until he held out his hand for me. I signed over it, spelling out a sealing for Souhi. I let go of it once the words were finished and Kurogane's eyes widened as it was pulled into his hand.

I smiled, knowing that if I could never do another thing for my light, I knew that this one thing would give him comfort many times during battle. "I know that when Mokona isn't by your side you're bothered by not having a sword."

Kurogane stared at his palm, "Is this okay?"

I smiled and shrugged, "I've already used a lot already, magic power." A little more for his sake wouldn't hurt. In fact it was probably the most worthwhile magic I'd ever use. I watched as he clenched his hand as if the spell was a precious thing that he would never let go. It made me feel good, I'd finally done something for him...

"Mokona."

"Yes." Mokona began to go through her transport magic and I quickly turned away from Kurogane and began to write on air again, a long spell. It would take up a lot of the magic I had left. Oh well. It was necessary.

"To Celes country." These were the last words I heard before we all disappeared.