I'm updating because my #1 fan asked me to!!

Random Bits 15 - Chapter 2

Setting: Yuna and company are helping the Al Bhed rebuild Home. With supplies running low, Tidus and Rikku volunteer to go with Cid and Brother to buy more. Unfortunately, after annoying Cid, Tidus and Brother are made to stay on the airship.

Bikanel Island - Rikku's quarters - Brother and Tidus have found Rikku's diary and after a brief Victory Dance, are about to open it.

"Right on!" Tidus hissed in awe, the fake diamonds sparkling as Brother held the diary aloft. It was pink. Really pink with multi colored fake diamonds and one of those useless little golden locks that can be easily 'unlocked' with a quick yank. Brother slowly lowered it, hands trembling as if Yevon himself had just handed him the Big Book of Machina.

"Just open it already!" Tidus snatched the book away and strode to the center of the room for the best lighting. He paused briefly after opening the lock, struck by the strange texture of the cover. It was smooth and felt like suede. Caution tapped him politely on the shoulder and informed him that it was more likely the skin of the last imbecile who got caught reading the diary. As usual Caution was dismissively brushed aside and Tidus turned to the first page. There were little hearts and hand drawn emoticons everywhere.

Today was super awful! Brother over watered the baby Cactuar Pops gave me and killed it! He's such a Meanie! I was sooooooo…..

"Skip all that." Brother barked impatiently. Tidus turned a few more pages and they both leaned in to read..

Lulu is so grown up an' everything. I want to be just liker her when I grow up. Her make-up doesn't really work for me though…I mean, what is it with all that black and purple? Her dress is cool though… but that's one bust line that's gonna be hard (or impossible) to fill. I think I can do it though. Just give me a couple years and I just bet I'll have a set of bangers like hers…

"Bangers!" Tidus burst out laughing. I think she means 'knockers' he giggled, pulling out a pencil and correcting the spelling.

"What are you doing?" Brother hissed in alarm. Tidus danced around with the record of Rikku's most private thoughts held above his head. "Easy! Down boy! It's not like she'll ever go back and read it again."

Brother thought about it, and reluctantly subsided.

I was talking with Yunie about it and Kimahri, the big meanie, (sad face with tear) said I would never grow any like Lulu. Okay, so he said "Rikku should stay Rikku," but I know he was really saying I'd never get past an 'A cup'.

"'Acup'? What's that?" Tidus asked, the subject having gone from a dissertation on Biological Development of the Adolescent Female to Proper Identification of Tableware. Brother paused in the act of playing with Rikku's cherry lip gloss and regarded him carefully, searching his face for any trace of guile, impishness, or perversity. All he found was innocent confusion.

"You are seriously not knowing?" the Al Bhed boy ventured. He can't really be that thick.

"Nope. I've never drank from an Acup."

He really is goofy! Brother thought.

I pulled a great prank on Brother today. He was working on restoring this lame old airship he found. Btw, its totally retarded. It looks like a four wheeled motorcycle and he thinks its uber cool. What a 'tard. Anyway…

"Its not stupid!" Brother grumbled in indignation, while Tidus covered a smirk, "And it is too cool." It was probably the worst ship design ever. The only way it could have been worse would be if it looked like an RV or a rocking horse.

He was working inside one of the engines and I got Lozo to turn on one of the engines on the same side. The poor dummy thought his engine was turning on and flew out in a shower of tools, screaming like a little…

"Give it here!" Sputtered Brother, yanking the book out of the teen's hands and flipping through a few pages.

"Ah-ha!"

Hee hee!(penciled in heart) I almost didn't have enough money for the Sand Blast concert tickets, but it's a good thing Brother keeps his spare cash in his 'secret safe'. It's a coffee can sitting right out in the open on his dresser with a piece of yellow tape that says 'do not touch'. Wow, talk about tight security. But thanks to him I got to see the concert and it was uber cool!!

"(Little sneak)!!" Brother gasped, slipping into Al Bhed.

I was right up in front and Peldict (smiley face with hearts for eyes) touched my hand!! Squeee! He's the lead singer and he's…Superendous! I'm never washing my hand again!

"Girls are so weird." Tidus remarked, shaking his head. "Is 'superendous' a real word?"

Brother snorted and rolled his eyes. "No she makes up own words. So far she as made 'Disasteriffic', ' Uberoopid', 'Superendous', and 'superdoodiemeaniepoopiehead'".

"Wow. She could totally rewrite the Sprian dictionary." Tidus muttered as he glanced at the next entry.

Waaahhhh! (sad face) I totally forgot and washed my hands…

Brother is such a poopie-meanie-head! Today he teased me and said I had a chest like an oven rack. Well, I hope he likes the Zu doodie I put in his shoes.

"I am so going to be murdering her!" Brother skipped a few more pages.

"Wait, Wait, Wait!" Tidus exclaimed, "I saw my name. Go back!"

Visited Bevelle today. Tidus fell off the tower. It was okay though because he grabbed on to a statue. It took Bahamut 4ever to pull him off. Poor Tidus must have been really scared because he was holding on really tight. Tidus… he always talks to me and Yunie. He's so nice and really fun, you know? He's really cute too, but kinda…goofy. Not like Wakka. He used to be my best buddy, but he crashed the Celsius today and…

"Yeah!!" Tidus crowed, "She thinks I'm cute."

"Yeah, but she also thinks you're goofy."

"Yeah, but she said I was cute!" Brother looked at the beaming blond and had to agree with Rikku on the goofy part, but decided to upgrade 'goofy' to 'utter jock' (all the looks with only some of the brains).

They flipped through a few more pages. Brother read a few more entries aloud, but they mostly had to do with the boring daily events that girls found interesting. (like trying the latest new lip gloss shade, how much weight they think they gained from eating two potato chips, and gossiping about what Betty BusyBody told LaLa the Mouth about your BF.)

Growing bored with Brothers' single-minded determination to find dirt on his little sister, Tidus began digging through the box of hair accessories on the dressing table.

The Al Bhed would occasionally blurt things like 'I knew it!', 'Little brat!', and 'Wait until I tell father!'" His thoughts of revenge were interrupted by Tidus' exasperated groan of, "I just don't get it!" Brother looked up to see the teen's hair loaded with hair clips, pins, scrunchies, and other accessories. " I mean, what's the point! You can't even touch your hair with all this crap in it." Brother rolled his eyes and set down the book.

Tidus thumbed through a few more pages of the diary, distractedly making the appropriate noises as Brother explained the dos-and-don'ts of hair accessories. Being the older brother, the Al Bhed boy had often found himself helping Rikku get ready in the morning. He had learned early that little girls like lots of clips and bows and can take an eternity to decide which ones to wear. The young Brother had quickly learned to apply matching clips and pins and could make a ponytail in under 20 seconds.

Tidus read on.

Brother was at it again today. He has the biggest crush on Yunie and was in a flirting frenzy. Me an' pops have both explained that she is our cousin, but he doesn't seem to mind. Its just…just….grossarific!! And its sooo obvious that she loves Tidus, that its almost too painful to watch the poor sod strutting and preening. I don't see how Tidus doesn't notice when he's doing it right in front of him. Again, cute but a little dense….

"That's… kinda gross man." Tidus said glancing at Brother's reflection in the mirror. Brother scowled and snapped irritably,

"What do you know? You're just a dream."

"Yeah, Yuna's dream guy!" Tidus said smugly, then winced as Brother gave his pigtail a yank.

"Hey look," Rikku's sibling replied quickly in a desperate attempt to draw attention away from himself. "Things about your Legendary friend!" Tidus curiously bent over the diary again, Brother's unrequited love issues momentarily forgotten.

Auron is so cool. He's so calm and in control, and he always says the most awesome things. He's got the coolest weapons too and he's super strong. He acts gruff, but he's really just a big softie. I wish pops was like that!! Anyway, he bought everyone a souvenir from Luca today. It had a recording of Boo-Boo (heart)…

"Boo-Boo." Brother sniggered derisively.

…doing a strip tease. J/K!! It was just a sphere Auron took of Boo-Boo during a dare that he slowed down and put to sleazy music. (happy face) He made lots of copies and sold them in Luca. You won't believe how much gil he made off them!!"

Tidus' jaw dropped as the truth was finally revealed. His body spasmed, jerking him to his feet in a scattering of hair accessories.

I know, the end feels chopped off, but don't dispair! (I'm already working on the next chapter.)

Remember Random Bits 14? I was thinking about creating a menu for the ICOF and will be taking requests for fiend based dishes. They can be like MacDonalds combos, dinner plates, side dishes, desserts, drinks, anything! PM your ideas to the e-mail address on my Profile page and I will post the offical ICOF menu when its completed. Don't forget to add witty discriptions with your food/drink items.