AN: Third installment of the story. BTW I have no idea how long this will be, I write by heart.
Disclaimer: I really don't think that I own any of the Teen Titans... at all.
With careless thoughts, and great regret,
Did she turn back, her face thick-set.
No way to fight, No way to win,
Lost for ever, in endless sin.
The past erased, gone from sight,
Forgotten thoughts lost in the night.
Her imprints stay to haunt our life,
How can we fly, with memories rife?
Her silent image, lays in my mind,
As she hath left us all behind.
Chapter 3 – Good News and Bad News
Beast Boy saw past the blank mask that Raven had placed on herself. He saw past, the white face. He saw past the violet eyes, and there he saw a soul yearning to scream out in despair. Seeing the cold, emotionless, strong Raven with such hurt in her eyes tore at Beast Boy. This was what he had dreaded, the haunting glassy eyes where one could barely make out the figures of clashing emotions. Pain, despair, rage, sorrow, regret all swirling in unison behind Raven's façade. Beast Boy reached out for Raven's shoulder, as if to shock her out of a trance. "Raven…" he whispered.
"I need to be alone" she uttered. And with those words, she turned on her heel, sliding the door back into its place while Beast Boy looked on. His heart was heavy, he didn't think he'd ever be able to forget those eyes. So full of hurt, as if her heart had been rubbed raw, until nothing but the smallest components remained. He heard the sound of exploding glass coming from the other side of the door, as Raven's emotions began to seep through her mental barrier. He sighed, and walked away, sitting glumly on the common room couch.
Raven let out a small utterance of despair. She had killed someone, she had killed someone! It was too much to take in. All her life she had been fighting crime, all her life she had been a servant of the light fighting those who wished to destroy the peace. But in the end, she had turned into the very thing she had once hunted. Silent tears dripped from her eyes, masking her face with sorrow. She lay down onto her bed, soaking the sheets with the unsteady flow of tears escaping her eyes. Her heart pounded, yet she was still so cold. Sluggishly her emotions rolled out of her, sending objects around her into a whirlpool of destruction. And finally there was peace.
Robin threw open the door to the Tower, his two allies following behind him. His eyes roamed the common room, seeing Beast Boy slumped pathetically on the couch, lost in thought. The three Titans sat beside Beast Boy on the couch, but he didn't take any notice at all, as if his mind had flown into another world.
"Beast Boy" said Robin bluntly, tapping the changeling's shoulder. Beast Boy's mind returned to him, his body tensing as he stood up in surprise.
"Robin, Cy, Star! You're back" cried Beast Boy in shock.
"Yeah. I'm gonna guess that the news didn't go down well with Raven… B?" replied Cyborg lightly, as he noticed Beast Boy's face darken at the mention of Raven.
"But fear not friend! We have joyous news!" whooped Starfire.
"Starfire… we were going to wait until Raven came out… remember?" muttered Robin, reprimanding his companion.
"What's going on?" asked Beast Boy curiously, wondering why the graveness of the situation was not etched into his friends' dialogue.
"Well…" Cyborg said.
"We were planning to talk to both you and Raven and since she's not here, I think we should wait until we can tell her" finished Robin quickly.
"Tell me what?" came a voice from within the darkness. Raven's blue cloak enshrouded her figure, as she stepped out into the common room.
"Raven!" cried the four Titans.
"What exactly is going on here" muttered Raven, slightly irritated that they were talking about her behind her back.
"Friend Raven, we return with glorious news!" yelled Starfire, stepping towards Raven.
"Starfire" Robin interjected gruffly, his voice serious and his face hard, a clear hint to Starfire. She returned behind Robin, her face showing disappointment at Robin's tone with her.
"Raven. To begin, what happened today?" questioned Robin.
Raven's eyes narrowed. What a great way to clear her head. "I lost control" she answered simply.
"Yes, we know that but why? It didn't seem like he hurt you that much" said Robin, pushing for answers.
"Does it matter why? I lost control, that's it, game over" muttered Raven, annoyance slipping into her voice. She would never tell anyone why she had lost control, what haunted her nights and provoked her fears.
"Yes it does matter! How are we going to prevent this from happening again!" cried Robin, his voice raising.
"Itwon't happen again. You're the expert of crime. I killed someone, does that mean I'm going to be roaming the streets like a normal civilian again?" answered Raven vehemently. Cyborg, Starfire and Robin glanced at each other.
"What?" inquired Raven, raising her left eyebrow.
"Raven" Robin sighed, "Once the paramedics arrived to… clean up, Cyborg did a more thorough check."
"And I found some brainwaves" continued Cyborg, "the guy's still alive."
"We think that his mind retreated from his body once you assaulted him when you lost control" explained Robin carefully.
"So Raven didn't kill anyone then?" asked Beast Boy, his first words of the conversation. Cyborg shook his head.
"But that doesn't mean that nothing happened" interrupted Robin gravely, his eyes narrowing when his gaze returned to Raven. But Raven took no notice, as her mind began to drift away from the conversation. So she hadn't killed anyone. So she wasn't a murderer… yet. Did it make any difference that by some unforeseen chance, her victim survived? By luck she wasn't a killer, but it was only a matter of time before she became one. It was inevitable, she thought to herself. Even after vanquishing Trigon, she was still doing what he willed. If only she had not lost control, she scolded herself as regret sank in yet again. Raven sighed, predicting the torrent of compiled emotions to come.
Suddenly she noticed Robin standing in front of her, waiting for an answer, a word, anything. She needed to be in her room, where she was safe to meditate, to think and to lash out without consequence. Turning on her heel, she left the common room, with Robin gaping after her.
"What?" exclaimed Robin, as he saw Raven walk out of the common room, leaving him hanging. His body shifted forward, readying to pursue her, before Cyborg's mechanical hand landed on his shoulder.
"Leave it" murmured Cyborg.
"Yeah, leave her alone. Don't you know how much Raven will beat herself up for this, she doesn't need you to add to her bruises" said Beast Boy, slightly irritated that Robin always had to make things so much worse than they could be. Robin turned to Beast Boy, shocked by the fierceness layered in his tone. Robin slumped back down onto the couch, a sign of surrender.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I have been too harsh on her. I should know better, I should know how much she punishes herself over even the smallest of things" Robin sighed.
Beast Boy started to leave the common room, gazing down at the floor.
"Oi B, where're you going?" cried out Cyborg.
"I need to talk to Raven" answered Beast Boy quietly, as the common room doors slid shut.
"Uh, did you guys think that BB's acting a lil strange today, or is it just me?" asked Cyborg.
"Today's turned out to be a strange day. Personally, I don't blame him" muttered Robin.
Beast Boy walked along the long corridor, leading down towards Raven's room, with his head swirling with thoughts. He didn't know why, but for some reason he felt vastly responsible for Raven's plight. He had always annoyed her, always irritated her, always sparked her anger and maybe all those instances of suppressed rage just accumulated causing her current situation. He shook his head, thinking about such things could burn a hole through his brain if he thought about them for too long. He sighed, he just felt obliged to make up for all those times where they had fought with each other and all those times when he had… hurt her. As he approached Raven's door, he felt a quiver of unease. Was he being a fool? When Raven wanted to be alone, you left her well enough alone. Was he helping at all? Suddenly the door slid open, and Raven walked out, nearly crashing into Beast Boy who had stood staring at the name scrawled across the door.
"Beast Boy! What are you doing lurking outside my door?" cried Raven, as surprise overwhelmed her.
"Just saying hi" mumbled Beast Boy, "And wondering if you're okay" he added quickly.
Raven raised her left eyebrow. She had this eerie feeling that Beast Boy had been standing outside her door for a while. "You've been wondering that a lot lately" she said.
"Only since today!" exclaimed Beast Boy defensively. He couldn't help noticing that her eyes were no longer glassy and frost-covered as they had been before. Perhaps she had already come to terms with what had happened, he thought. "So are you okay?" asked Beast Boy.
"I think I am. It has been a… enlightening day" Raven replied softly.
Beast Boy stood confused. "Enlightening day? I would say it was insane!"
"Whatever" Raven said, her voice returning to its monotonous norm. "Are the others still outside? I need to tell them something" she asked.
"Uh… I dunno" Beast Boy replied, something about what she had said seemed… odd. "What's going on?"
Raven sighed. A sigh so soft, like the midnight wind, whispering through the leaves of autumn. She didn't know how to tell him. She hated to see others hurt, but it was worse for Beast Boy, who, without his joyful demeanour, was a heart-tearing wreck. She knew what she had to say would shatter him, but what could she do? She let out a near silent breath, which wisped out from her lips, like smoke dissipating into the air. With a voice layered in suppressed emotion she uttered, with the finality of an ultimatum:
"I'm leaving the Titans."
AN: Not sure if I'm getting the characters right, tell me if I'm not, and please don't kill me if I ruin you're characters. This the first story I've written, so any advice etc. would come in handy. Please review, and thanks to those who did. BTW, I said Raven's left eyebrow because I can only raise my right eyebrow singularly, and plus I have a strange affinity to the left side. Oh, and by the way I'm seriously sorry for the deux ex machina but I think I would dread writing about a court case... in America. And I think I would also cry if Raven was convicted. Enough rambling though, have a great day today and thanks for the reviews.