AN: A long chapter here, hope you enjoy it :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this -

"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love."

Bryant H. McGill

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

Lewis B. Smedes

Chapter 19 – Begging for Forgiveness

Beast Boy stood up, still comprehending the probable repercussions of his slip-up. He knew how touchy Raven was on both her looks, and to whom she trusted. He still remembered when she had been heart-broken after Malchior turned out to be a malicious dragon. He had done the same thing… to a lesser extent; he had to explain to her what really had happened. But could he do it now? She would probably cause him to implode with her powers as soon as he tapped on her door. But he couldn't just leave things the way they were hoping that they'd sort themselves out. He liked Raven… and now he may have shattered any chance of them being together. With a hefty sigh, Beast Boy stood up, heading out of the common room with his shoulders slumped.

Raven felt dead. She had used up all her anger, all her emotion in a storm of telekinetic energy and her room was a mess. Beast Boy had lied to her. And she had actually liked him… Maybe she was overreacting; he may have just been saying that to put Cyborg off. Raven shook her head, denying the possibility that the fall of heart that she was feeling was with no motive. For once in her life she had felt loved and as usual it had been used to destroy her and throw her even further into the depths of darkness. There came a tapping at her door, waking her from her winter's solstice.

"Raven…?" came Beast Boy's voice through the door.

Raven felt a surge of emotion, which she threw behind her mental barrier. She kept silent, hoping Beast Boy would go away if ignored.

"I know you're in there Raven" murmured Beast Boy quietly.

Raven remained silent, looking at the shadow that stretched under her door.

"Raven, please come out" said Beast Boy softly. Only silence replied.

"Please…" whispered Beast Boy.

Raven heard the slight quiver in his voice, hearing the layers of emotions that flowed through his voice, yet she would not succumb. She felt her heart pound painfully, a result of a shattered soul, yet she still gazed sadly at the door, a voice within urging her to talk to Beast Boy, to just see him. Raven resisted the urge, holding still on her bed, still staring at the shadow that loomed past her door.

Beast Boy didn't know what to do, if Raven was unwilling to talk, there was no way that you could force her to do so. He wouldn't risk going under the door, all past attempts had resulted in horrible defeat. His back slumped down against Raven's door, a pathetic look crawling over his face. He had ruined their relationship, ruined what they had had, what they could have had. His heart ached, longing for Raven but it would not be satisfied. He covered his face with his hands, a wave of raw emotion drowning him, causing him to let out a shuddering breath. He was such an idiot, why did he have to say that in front of Cyborg? Why couldn't he have just said the truth?

The door slid from behind Beast Boy's back, and he fell back into Raven's room. Beast Boy looked up from the ground into Raven's eyes, they were glassy… empty, the ones that he hated. He stood up quickly, and Raven took a couple of step backs, until she was in front of her bed.

"Raven, about before you have to understand…" started Beast Boy quickly and nervously, hoping that he would be allowed to continue without being interrupted.

"I think I understood it reasonably well" muttered Raven, anger clawing at her throat.

"I didn't mean it like that Rae…" said Beast Boy.

"Don't call me Rae" interrupted Raven vexatiously, her eyes narrowing.

"I meant, I didn't mean it like that Raven" corrected Beast Boy, his bottom fang bitting his upper lip.

"Would you be so obliged to tell me what you meant then?" growled Raven already feeling her anger rising to the surface. She had hoped for a civil conversation where the two could sort out issues and move on, but her anger was getting the better of her.

"I just didn't want Cyborg to know, that was all" defended Beast Boy.

"Was it such an easy thing to say after everything that we've been through? After everything that we've done?" murmured Raven, hurt mixing with anger in her voice.

"I…" responded Beast Boy lamely, unsure what to say.

"I gave you my heart Beast Boy. I gave you all of me, everything. I trusted you; I even dared to fall for you. And without second thoughts you could just so simply throw all of that away, just shatter what we had? Even if you were covering it up, I can't believe that you could just… say it so easily, as if it didn't mean anything to you" murmured Raven.

Beast Boy's heart ached. He hated to see Raven hurt, hated. And now he had been the one to have hurt her so wholly. He could barely breathe as his heart beat slowly yet painfully against his ribs, each beat signifying the accumulation of his feelings of sorrow, regret and hurt for what he had done to Raven, it seemed such a small act at the time.

"Raven… I didn't mean to hurt you. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do. I was just trying to cover it up from Cyborg and I just… I… I don't know Raven; I don't know why I could do it so easily. But if you think that you don't mean anything to me, you're wrong. I like you Raven, I like you a lot, as more than just a friend. I can't…" whispered Beast Boy, his voice shuddering off at the end of the sentence.

Raven looked on in silence, feelings of anger and hurt still battling in her heart. She was surprised her powers hadn't gotten out of her control yet. Raven gazed into Beast Boy's eyes, seeing the pain there. She couldn't deny him could she? He was just as hurt by her reaction as she was by what he had done. She needed time to think about it, she knew she couldn't hold a grudge against the changeling; her feelings for him would never let her.

"I need to be alone" said Raven softly. Beast Boy nodded, and turned around his eyes falling to the floor.

"I'm so sorry Raven" whispered Beast Boy quietly. His voice was so soft that Raven had barely heard it. It was as soft as the gentle glow of moonshine, as soft as the sound of snow falling onto the leaves of trees, yet even so his words penetrated into Raven, and she felt the words deep within her. She let out a soft, shuddering sigh, lying down upon her bed, knowing her clouded mind would not avail her if she tried to meditate.

Beast Boy walked solemnly to the common room, his head full of Raven. He had no idea how hurt she had been by his words, and for that he was a fool. Raven had opened up to him; she had told him all the hidden things that pervaded her, and yet he still hadn't grasped the concept of her, he still didn't understand her one bit. Beast Boy shook his head; he was such an idiot, why couldn't he have been gifted by Raven's amazing intelligence? God she was smart, he thought to himself. Beast Boy snapped his mind back to the situation at hand, only to see Cyborg sitting on the couch, looking at Beast Boy, inviting him to talk.

"Yo B, how did it go?" said Cyborg with less joy than the sentence deserved.

"I don't know" replied Beast Boy, slumping pathetically on the couch.

"Man, I'm so sorry for asking you that question. I already knew the answer to that, I guess Raven's pissed?" asked Cyborg, his voice not its cheery self.

"I guess you could say that" answered Beast Boy glumly.

"So… you ready to get you ass whooped by yours sincerely?" burst Cyborg, having been unable to hold his serious tone for that long.

"Yeah… whatever" replied Beast Boy, his voice not committed to their conversation. Cyborg started up the video game, handing a controller to Beast Boy. Cyborg played intently, his eyes not leaving the screen for a second as his racer zoomed ahead of Beast Boy's. Beast Boy however merely looked at the screen, as if only the slightest portion of his mind was actually on the screen at all. The pair continued to play their video game, their favourite pastime once again consuming their day.

The sun was descending in the sky, deep orange-red rays of light extending throughout the dense cloud system that polluted the skies. It had rained, but neither Beast Boy nor Cyborg had noticed, as they were both too busy on their thoughts, and their games. Starfire and Robin had departed for the sunset, leaving for the park where they could have a relaxing time. Small gusts of wind randomly blew through the air, often causing the leaves of trees to ruffle and roughen out. It was still a nice day however, the earthy glow of light held the entire city in its arms.

Beast Boy was still paying the least amount of attention to the game, his mind wandering to the short conversation he had had with Raven previously. Would she ever forgive him, or would he always live in the memory of what he had done. Suddenly there came a loud beeping, interrupting Beast Boy's thoughts. Cyborg opened a panel on his left arm.

"Aw Beast Boy, I'll need to save the rest of the can of ass-whoop till next time, cos I got a movie to catch" cried Cyborg, obviously quite excited at the prospect.

"Oh… okay then, bye" muttered Beast Boy, with only a small portion of his brain still present in the existing world.

"You wanna come?" asked Cyborg cautiously.

"Nah" replied Beast Boy, still staring where the video game had been playing.

"Alright then, see you later man" said Cyborg before turning around and leaving Titan's Tower. Beast Boy let out a sigh, turning the video games back on. There was nothing else to do, and what better way was there to take his mind off Raven, he thought to himself. He played the game half-heartedly still, trying to force the other half of his mind onto the screen. The soft hiss of the common room doors rendered all attempts to focus on the game absolutely useless. Raven walked into the common room, her cloak sliding against the floor, as she held a book in her hand, walking and sitting on the other side of the couch. Beast Boy felt his stomach flutter, his eyes glued to Raven. With a growl of anguish that played out in his mind, Beast Boy pulled his head from Raven, forcing himself to stare intently at the screen.

Raven sat on the couch, reading her book. It was a good book, Misery. Though she tried to keep her eyes on the words that scrolled across the books pages, she couldn't help but glance over at Beast Boy every now and then. She wasn't sure if she had gotten over what Beast Boy had said, she had had hours to mull over it, and still it seemed to linger at the very back of her mind. She knew Beast Boy, and she was sure that he hadn't meant it… well she wasn't sure, but she was hopeful. Raven looked at his eyes, which were staring at the screen. He didn't look at the video game with the same intensity that he gave her, it was less potent. Sighing, Raven turned away, gluing her eyes to a word on the page, idiot.

"Do you want to play?" asked Beast Boy shyly, a slight blush playing over his cheeks motivated by fear, nerves and the aching fluttering that hung in his mid-riff.

"Uh… okay" replied Raven, not really knowing why she had said yes. It was as if some inner beast had possessed her and forced her to splurge out the words. She slid next to Beast Boy, ready to receive the game controller. Beast Boy looked on in shock, but quickly played along, handing her the controller.

"So do I just beat you in a race?" muttered Raven. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this.

"Yeah basically, it's a lot harder than it looks" replied Beast Boy, with a stern eye.

"Seems pretty easy to me" said Raven, who looked down at the controller.

"You'd be…" started Beast Boy, before watching Raven's car fly past his own.

"How did you do that!?" cried Beast Boy in protest.

"I don't know I just clicked some random buttons" replied Raven in surprise, a little smug that she was beating Beast Boy at a game that he had been playing for years.

Raven easily beat Beast Boy to the finish line, leaving him in shock and awe at Raven's amazing abilities. The two suddenly realised how close they were. Raven could feel Beast Boy's leg against her own, his comforting warmth washing over her. She took in a sharp breath.

Beast Boy could feel Raven's cool, smooth skin against his leg. Her skin was so smooth, he couldn't believe it, it only added to her growing list of perfect attributes. He looked at her, a red flush growing over his green cheeks.

"Do you… want to play again?" asked Beast Boy softly.

"I've… got other things to do" replied Raven quietly, her breathing coming in soft, short bursts.

"Oh… alright then" breathed Beast Boy, staring into her eyes, finding himself lost in the beauty of violet amethysts and the tranquillity of midnight blue.

"If that's okay with you" added Raven, softly.

"It might be. Are you still mad at me?" whispered Beast Boy, his heart pounding irascibly against his chest.

"No… I'm not" murmured Raven, her eyes being consumed by the emerald glow of Beast Boy's.

"Good, I hate it when you're angry" replied Beast Boy, his voice barely shuddering above silence. He leaned closer towards Raven's face.

Raven leant forward slightly, still lost in the forests that lay beneath Beast Boy's leafy green eyes.

"So you don't mind that I accidently said those things about… us?" murmured Beast Boy, lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair that had fallen over Raven's pale face.

"I forgive you" breathed Raven, leaning in closer. She could feel the warm breath of Beast Boy, could see the small loops that weaved through his eyes.

"That's the best thing I've heard all day" whispered Beast Boy, leaning forward as the two moved to kiss each other.

The sudden sound of voices interrupted their touch of lips, and the two gently moved apart with reluctance, as if restraining themselves from leaping onto one another. With a tender glance at Beast Boy, Raven walked out of the common room. Robin and Starfire walked into the Tower, holding hands and chattering profusely.

"Hey Beast Boy" piped up Robin, seeing him on the couch looking slightly forlorn. Beast Boy gave Robin an evil glance, before heading off to his own room, leaving Robin gaping at the seemingly unmotivated signal of maliciousness. Beast Boy walked out of the common room, thoughts of Raven still swirling in his head. They had been so close, yet again. He didn't want to keep it a secret anymore, why couldn't they just kiss, and kiss all day? Why couldn't they just be together all day? He closed the door to his room, a happy smile playing across his lips. She had forgiven him, thank God. She had actually forgiven him, and his slip-up would be nothing more than a slip-up. Beast Boy lay down on his bed, unable to wait until seeing Raven again.

Raven stood at the centre of her room, happiness, euphoria and senseless feelings for Beast Boy consumed her. She had spontaneously forgiven him, and she was all the gladder for it. It was a foolish thing to hold a grudge over, but not something to put out of her mind. She felt her powers fall out of her control, causing her bed to rock uncontrollably. Would she have to suffer this every time she and Beast Boy had a moment together? Her feelings for Beast Boy were completely uncontrollable, and no matter how much she tried to control them, to push them back behind bars they slid past like an omnipotent wave of water. Maybe someday she would be able to control it, maybe. She sat down on her bed, thoughts abound of Beast Boy, hope lingering in her heart as the sun set.

AN: Damn interruptions ey. Misery happens to be the second Stephen King book that I've ever read and idiot happens to be a fluke word that the magic finger picked out on page 97. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter, thanks a lot for all the reviews!