AN: Here's chapter 23, it's always been an ugly number in my mind :P
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans
"All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone"
Celine Dion
Chapter 23 – Broken Heart
The twilight skies hung overhead, as the moon began to glow in full flight. Robin, Starfire and Cyborg were in the common room, their minds wandering.
"Who wants pizza?" asked Cyborg loudly, interrupting the previous silent ambience of the common room.
"Oh, I do hunger for the food" replied Starfire delightedly.
"Yeah, I think we're all pretty hungry" muttered Robin.
"Pizza it is" exclaimed Cyborg, getting ready to leave the tower.
"But what about Raven and Beast Boy, will they not join us?" asked Starfire.
"Yeah, where've those two been the whole day?" said Cyborg, answering question with question.
Robin wasn't totally sure, but he had some idea now that he knew they were together. He kept quiet, remembering his vow to the pair.
"Perhaps we should ask them to join us in the dinner" suggested Starfire.
"Aight" replied Cyborg, turning around and heading for the common room door. Robin's eyes widened.
"Uh… wait!" cried out Robin, knowing Raven and Beast Boy would probably not want to be disturbed in whatever they were doing.
"What's up?" asked Cyborg, stopping in his tracks, and turning to look at Robin.
"I um… I think Raven and Beast Boy had an argument so uh… they probably won't want to be disturbed" muttered Robin, lying through his teeth. He couldn't believe he was covering for the pair with a lie, but he of all people knew how much secrets meant.
"They at it again?" inquired Cyborg.
"I was hoping that they had stopped the arguing" murmured Starfire, slightly forlorn.
"Doesn't matter, what happened to that pizza?" cried Robin, drowning out any other questions.
"Jeez you had to remind me, my stomach's killing me" replied Cyborg, holding his abdomen.
"Let's go" muttered Robin, leading the other two Titans out of the Tower.
Raven's eyes flickered open, looking around. She had fallen asleep with Beast Boy beside her. She could feel his comforting warmth wrapping itself around her, and she let out a contented sigh. She was so glad that Beast Boy had still accepted her after learning of her inability to control her feelings for him, but she was still anxious about the entire situation. Not for herself, but for Beast Boy. Raven turned her head, looking at Beast Boy's sleeping face. She had nearly killed the Telepath when she had lost control, she couldn't bear to lose Beast Boy because she couldn't control herself. Was what they had chosen to do a foolish decision? Putting Beast Boy at risk was so selfish of her, but she couldn't deny herself of him… could she? There was a soft groan as Beast Boy woke up beside her, and she put her thoughts at rest, looking into his emerald eyes.
"Raven" said Beast Boy, turning over and looking her in the eyes, with a sweet smile.
Raven smiled back. "Hey Beast Boy" she murmured.
Beast Boy just looked back at her, with a tender gaze.
"I think we should be getting up" whispered Raven, stroking Beast Boy's cheek with a finger.
"Alright" murmured Beast Boy, standing up and stepping out of Raven's bed.
Raven stepped out of the bed's covers, walking towards the middle of her room.
"Thanks for everything Beast Boy" said Raven softly, the words enveloping Beast Boy in warmth.
"You never need to thank me" muttered Beast Boy, approaching Raven.
"But I will anyway" murmured Raven, as Beast Boy's face edged closer to her own.
Beast Boy looked at her with blazing eyes, he just wanted to grab her and whisk her away, to hold her forever, and to kiss her forever. He leant forward slowly, looking into Raven's violet eyes.
"The other's will be wondering where we are" whispered Raven, raising her hand to Beast Boy's left cheek.
"We shouldn't keep them waiting" breathed Beast Boy.
"No…" replied Raven, landing a tender, gentle kiss upon his lips. It was a careful kiss, a compassionate kiss. They broke away softly, looking longingly into each other's eyes. A sudden cracking noise broke out, resounding throughout the chamber, causing the pair to jump in shock. Raven looked to her left, seeing her bed collapsed and broken on her floor, a result of her loss of control. She sighed miserably, looking down at the floor.
"It doesn't matter Raven, it can always be fixed" murmured Beast Boy, trying to comfort her.
"I tried to control it Beast Boy, I tried, I really did" whispered Raven, looking sadly into his eyes.
"I know Raven, I know. Maybe you shouldn't fight against your feelings. Maybe you should give in to them, what harm could possibly come from something as positive as our feelings for each other?" replied Beast Boy softly.
"You don't understand, my powers don't work that way" murmured Raven in response.
Beast Boy nodded. "Well it doesn't matter like I said, it's easily fixed" said Beast Boy, hoping to lighten the situation.
"Beast Boy… the damage that I cause isn't always fixable" said Raven, as if preparing herself to say something grand.
Beast Boy looked at her, a signal to continue talking.
"I destroyed my belongings, my drawer, my closet, my bed. What will be next Beast Boy? Titan's Tower? Who will be next? You?" whispered Raven, her voice layered with sorrow.
"I'm willing to take that risk Raven…" murmured Beast Boy, not liking where the conversation was leading them.
"But I'm not, Beast Boy. I can't live with the fear of killing you every single time I'm near you. I can't live with the fact that I may probably kill you" said Raven, quietly.
"Raven…?" whispered Beast Boy.
"We can't do this Beast Boy. The last few days have been like a dream, something that I could never have hoped to have. I thank you for that but… we can't continue this. If we do, we're being irresponsible, it's our duty to protect, and us, together will only cause pain" murmured Raven"
"You don't really believe that. You can't. It's not you're duty to protect, you left the team, you're not fighting for us anymore. We aren't being irresponsible, how can you say that?" cried Beast Boy, pain in his voice.
"I'm being irresponsible Beast Boy. I'm being selfish by putting you at risk, and maybe I'm being selfish by choosing not to be with you, maybe I'm just trying to satisfy my fear of losing you. Either way, this is the lesser evil" muttered Raven, her eyes averting Beast Boy's painful gaze.
Beast Boy shook his head. "No Raven… You… we…" started Beast Boy, his heart aching in his chest, climbing to his throat and blocking out any words that he wished to say.
"We can't be together Beast Boy, because I care for you too much, because of my powers, because of my inability to control myself, because of me… I'm sorry Beast Boy… I'm so sorry…" whispered Raven.
"If you cared for me you'd know this isn't what I want" cried Beast Boy.
"You'll grow up Beast Boy, you'll find somebody else, and the things that you want now will no longer be what you'd want later" replied Raven, feeling her heart pounding painfully against her chest.
"I don't want to find somebody else. All I want is you" whispered Beast Boy.
Raven finally looked into his eyes, seeing the swirling emotions and pain that glowed from his eyes. She wanted to look away, to spare herself from seeing Beast Boy's in pain, but his sad eyes were like a vice, and her own eyes refused to let go.
"Don't you want to be with me? Don't you want… us?" murmured Beast Boy through stammering breaths.
Raven looked solemnly into Beast Boy's eyes. "Yes I do… But not everyone can get what they want" whispered Raven, breathlessly. She gave him one final sorrowful look, before she stepped out of the room, cloak trailing swiftly behind her, leaving Beast Boy all alone in her room.
Beast Boy slumped pathetically onto Raven's broken bed. It was over. They were over. His body was racked with shuddering breaths as quiet sobs issued from him. His heart ached beyond compare. Surely it could not live past the pain; surely he couldn't live past the loss. Tears rolled down his cheeks, falling onto Raven's sheets, and he couldn't stop them. Like big rolling waves tears poured out of him, unstoppable by man. He had lost her, and now he was nothing. Beast Boy's hands held his face, as the pain of his heart, the pain from a torn soul, rose to the surface overwhelming him. And he sat on that bed, overtaken by a broken heart, all alone.
Raven was flying through the air, flying as fast as she could to escape everything behind her. The wind rushed by her, slamming into her face, yet she still flew on. She had been suppressing her feelings during her and Beast Boy's entire conversation, and lucky she had. She couldn't believe what she had done, she had denounced Beast Boy, thrown him away. After everything they had been through, after all the things they had done for each other, she had thrown him away like a toy. But she didn't have a choice did she? She was endangering him by being with him. She would rather a heartbroken Beast Boy than a dead one.
Raven felt her heart ache painfully, as if it had been stabbed fifty-one times and was bleeding all over her lungs. She could barely breathe, her breath coming in short stuttered bursts. She higher into the sky, as tears fell freely from her eyes, and she cried without restraint. Cried for what she had had, for what she had done, for what she had lost. She cried for her pain, she cried for her loss, she cried for Beast Boy. Her emotions flowed past her barrier, engulfing her and black energy exploded out of her, exploding through the night sky she was flying through. And she fell from the skies, all energy lost from her and landed in soft grass, her mind fading away. She looked around, but no one was there, no one was near her. She was all by herself.
Beast Boy stepped out of Raven's room, having used up all the tears he could muster. He had heard the door to the Tower open, and knew the other Titan's were back. Robin walked into the corridor, nearly running into a forlorn Beast Boy.
"Hey Beast Boy" muttered Robin.
Beast Boy merely grunted in response, trying to get past Robin to his room. He needed to be alone… not that he wasn't already.
"Do you mind if I ask what you and Raven were doing when we went out for dinner?" questioned Robin.
Beast Boy's body shuddered at the utterance of Raven's name, and his eyes were enveloped in sorrow.
"Beast Boy… are you okay?" asked Robin concernedly.
"I'm fine" stammered Beast Boy, trying to cover up his momentary collapse.
"Where's Raven" murmured Robin, searching Beast Boy's eyes for an answer.
"She went out for a while" replied Beast Boy, trying to side-step past his leader, who would not give way.
"Did something happen between you two?" asked Robin, concern layering his voice.
"No" murmured Beast Boy, emotions in his tone.
Robin's brow furrowed, looking at Beast Boy with anxiety. Beast Boy managed to side-step him, walking past him to his room. Robin knew better than to follow. Beast Boy flung himself onto his bed, his body feeling fragile, as if it would shatter into a million pieces if prodded or touched. He felt empty, hollow as if all emotion and feeling had been drained out of him, and now he was merely a shell. He closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly to give him ultimate reprieve. Beast Boy lay on his bed completely numb with his eyes closed, suffering from a broken heart.
AN: Hope you enjoyed that chapter, thank you all for reviewing.