AN: Heres the another chapter, there won't be one uploaded for a while now.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans
"I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
To clear my conscience"
t.A.T.u.
Chapter 24 – Sacrifices
Raven stood weightily in front of a dark, foreboding café, her limbs weary and her heart painful. She had let out a lot in a desolate part of town, and when she had recovered from her fall, she had swept back into Jump City. She sighed, looking at the familiar front of The Silent Vale. Raven stepped in, feeling in need of coffee to clear her mind. The moon was at its peak, and midnight was of the hour.
The café was dark, illuminated by only dull glow lights hanging on the ceiling, giving the place an eerie look. There was soft chattering around Raven, but mostly it was quiet. A waitress dressed in black approached Raven, with a dull face.
"Hello Raven, sitting alone?" asked the waitress softly.
"As always" murmured Raven in response, a pang erupting in her chest at the waitress' words. Raven was led to an ebony table, with a pair of chairs.
"The usual?" inquired the waitress quietly, her voice expressionless.
"As always" muttered Raven. Sitting down forlornly, Raven's mind began to fill with thoughts of Beast Boy. Even now she could hardly believe she had broken it off with him. Sure she wanted to be with him, however circumstances were not kind. They never were for her. Raven sighed heftily, the green changeling floating through her head. She knew he would be heartbroken, to him it would seem like a betrayal and she knew how much he valued loyalty. Had she made the right choice? She still didn't know, she had no idea what she would do now. She doubted that she would be able to fight the temptation of Beast Boy unless she never left her room, nor answered the door. A cup was placed in front of her, and she sipped gladly at it, hoping her mind would drift into the void.
"Is this seat taken?" came a voice, interrupting Raven's thoughts. Raven looked up, seeing a blond haired boy, with brilliant blue eyes. There was something familiar about his face.
"Do I know you?" asked Raven.
"I'm Simon, the guy who wanted you're autograph in the mall" replied the boy, his voice steady trying to refresh Raven's memory.
"Simon… right" murmured Raven, unsure what the guy wanted.
"I just noticed you in the window, so I thought I'd pop in" explained Simon.
"That's… nice" replied Raven taking another sip from her cup.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" asked Simon, motioning to the chair opposite Raven.
"Uh…" started Raven.
"I don't mind if you tell me I can't, it just looked like you were sitting alone" interrupted Simon.
Raven's stomach turned. She was beginning to hate that word: alone. It was a word that described her in entirety, what she was, what she would be, what she would always be.
"Sorry for bothering you" murmured Simon, turning away taking her silence as rejection.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking" said Raven, realising that Simon had been waiting for an answer. She didn't want to be rude, especially in front of the public. The Titans had a reputation to keep.
"That's okay" replied Simon, turning around slowly.
"Um… I guess it's okay if you sit there" muttered Raven, wondering why she was letting the boy talk to her at all. Her escapades with Beast Boy had softened her, and she couldn't bear to hurt someone else so soon after tearing Beast Boy apart… even if it was for their own sake.
"Thanks" said Simon cheerfully, taking a seat.
"Any reason why you seem to be so interested in me?" asked Raven, raising her left eyebrow.
"You just seem like an interesting person" answered Simon.
"You'd be surprised how uninteresting I can be. Save yourself time and don't bother with me" murmured Raven, trying to get the boy to leave her. She was trying to be polite, but still she had her limits, and she hated flattery. He may be bigger than her, but she knew she would be able to beat him in a fight, should he get angry enough to start one.
"Don't be ridiculous, you're definitely interesting. You're a Teen Titans, you've got powers, you've got a great place to live, and you've saved the city a number of times. That's definitely in interesting in my books" ranted Simon.
"What do you want?" asked Raven, not unkindly.
"I'm not sure, just to talk I guess" replied Simon softly.
"Why?" continued Raven, trying to understand why this boy had such a strong intent to talk to her.
"Well like I said, you seem like an interesting person" answered Simon.
Raven wanted to strangle him. Flattery was not a good way into her books, nor was pointless conversations.
"Well what exactly do you want to talk about?" asked an irritated Raven.
"I'm not sure, what do you want to talk about?" asked Simon.
"Don't send me in loops, why the hell are you talking to me if you've got nothing to talk about, and a stalker like you should know that I have nothing to talk about" said Raven vexatiously, restraining herself from slapping Simon and walking out of the café.
"Sorry… I just thought you looked lonely… might've used a little company" murmured Simon.
Raven's eyes widened. He was just trying to help out… but still she found Simon a bit odd.
"I… I'm not lonely" murmured Raven.
"Are you sure? You looked a little forlorn before" said Simon.
"I… It's none of you're business" muttered Raven, trying to force her mind from flickering over Beast Boy.
"Alright" replied Simon.
"And I think it'd be best if you left" said Raven, her eyes narrowing.
"Uh… sure. Look, if you ever need someone to talk to…" started Simon, pulling out a small strip of white paper. "Call me" finished Simon, handing Raven the paper, before walking solemnly out of the café.
Raven looked on, wondering what had just occurred. Simon had given her his phone number, surely that was some sign of a kind of friendship, which was odd since none existed. Raven sighed, she spent so much time inside the Tower she had no idea how other people outside of the Titan's lived, conversed and thought. She looked at the white strip of paper that had been placed into her palm, about to scrunch it up before a thought restrained her hand. It was better to keep contacts abundant; you never know when you might need someone, or something from someone. Raven took a final sip from her cup, before stepping out of her chair, leaving a few coins lying on her table.
"Have a good evening, Raven" muttered a waitress as Raven passed by, heading for the door.
"Good night" murmured Raven, before stepping out of the café, feeling the sweet midnight breeze upon her skin. With a sigh she made her way back to Titan's Tower, her mind suppressing thoughts of Beast Boy that tried to force their way to the surface.
Raven stepped wearily into the common room of Titan's Tower. Everything was dark, the light having been turned off hours previously. Not a soul was awake, and for that Raven was glad. She wouldn't be able to survive meeting with Beast Boy, so close after she had torn him apart. She herself seemed to feel nothing, she felt numb, empty as if no feeling could ever touch her heart again. Perhaps her heart had fled from her after she had broken the heart of Beast Boy. She couldn't blame herself though, he deserved someone better than her, and she couldn't let him die because of her. She had to sacrifice their relationship for his well-being, his safety, and though it pained now, she knew that her sacrifice was necessary. She would never be able to live with the burden of Beast Boy's death under her name, or even the burden that she may possibly one day kill him. A light flickered on, burning Raven's eyes, as she took a step back.
"Raven" muttered Robin, who stood in front of her, looking her straight in the eye.
"Robin?" replied Raven, confused.
"Where've you been all day?" asked Robin.
"I've been out" answered Raven, her eyes narrowing.
"Beast Boy was very distressed when I and the other Titans arrived back from dinner" stated Robin, his eyebrow raising.
"Was he…" murmured Raven, images of the hurt eyes of Beast Boy wafting through her head, causing her heart to pound painfully against her chest, but she held back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
"He wouldn't tell me what had happened… but I know something happened between you two" muttered Robin, his eyes narrowing.
"Nothing happened" replied Raven softly.
"I know something happened" cried Robin.
Raven kept silent.
"Beast Boy looked as if he was dead, and when I mentioned his name earlier you looked as if you'd seen a ghost" muttered Robin, his voice questioning.
"Robin…" started Raven, her voice layered with the slightest tone of a plea.
"Tell me what happened" said Robin firmly.
"It's too complicated…" muttered Raven, trying to walk past Robin who grabbed her wrist, halting her in her footsteps.
"Tell me what happened" repeated Robin fiercely.
"Let go of me" cried Raven through gritted teeth.
Robin looked her in the eye, and with a sigh released her arm. "I'm sorry" he muttered.
"What happened is none of your business Robin" stated Raven, getting ready to leave the common room.
"It's entirely my business Raven" cried out Robin.
Raven raised her left eyebrow.
"You're my friend, Beast Boy's my friend. Whatever happened has affected both of you. And because you're my friends, I think I'm entitled to claim that I should know what happened" muttered Robin.
Raven shook her head. "You won't understand, things are complicated… out of control" she murmured, before turning her back to Robin and whisking swiftly out of the common room, heading for her room. With a sigh Robin returned to his own room, pondering on Raven's words.
Raven fixed her previously broken bed with her powers with ease, and lay down. She opened her hands; she still had the slip of paper Simon had given her folded in her palms. She shoved the thought of her mind, throwing her thoughts back to the memories of her conversation with Beast Boy. She had opted to sacrifice herself for his well-being, but she felt that she would be unable to resist the temptation of returning to him, if he approached her. And she knew that Beast Boy wouldn't let her go so easily. She couldn't risk falling back in with Beast Boy and inevitably killing him. Raven sighed, she had to force Beast Boy to move on… to leave her behind. An idea flickered in her head.
If she were to go out with another person, then she would have more reason to resist the temptation of returning to Beast Boy. And she would force him to move on since she would be taken. But she couldn't do that could she? It was manipulative… cruel… She would make the person she was with suffer since she knew she would never feel the same way for anyone, as she had felt for Beast Boy. She would be hurting the person that she chose the go out with… unless she never left him. Could she fake being in love with someone for her entire life? Sacrifice her whole life, to keep Beast Boy safe… She had to though; it was the only way to keep everyone happy… except herself. But that didn't matter, she felt she could sacrifice that much. Surely she had sacrificed more than her feelings for Beast Boy, it wouldn't be difficult. And though Beast Boy would feel betrayed, in the long-run it would benefit him. Raven nodded, agreeing with herself. She picked up the phone.
"Hello?" came a voice through the receiver.
"Is that Simon?" muttered Raven.
"Yes, who's speaking?" replied Simon.
"It's Raven" said Raven.
"Hi" greeted Simon.
"You said that if I needed someone to talk to about anything, to call you right?" asked Raven.
"Yes" replied Simon.
"I need to talk about something" murmured Raven, her voice quivering as her thoughts flashed forward, at the task ahead of her.
AN: Well, I won't be able to update for a week, until Sunday, since I will be at camp. So you guys will have to wait for while, sorry. The name The Silent Vale comes from Isobelle Carmody's Orbenewtyn Chronicles. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I chose Simon since Simon's such a simple name, no offence. Enjoy you're day.