When we last left our heroes, they were repressing the memory of Wonderland, while making their way back to the Lego™ ship. Sora, ever optimistic, was convinced that not only would the next world they saw be better, but he would finally find his dearest friends. He was just barely half right.

That being said, The writer feels now would be a good time to inform her dearest readers that, as you should all know, Hercules was a Disney movie based on ancient Greek and Roman culture. As such, The movie should hold a lot of interesting fun-facts about Mythology. Unfortunately, this is not the case. See, when they were making the movie, Disney left out some minor details. These include but are not limited to Zeus's frequent cheating on his sister-wife, the fact that Hercules was one of thousands of Zeus's illegitimate children born from mortal woman, and that these children are all part god like him, and thus, he's really not that special.

…But shhh! Don't tell anyone!

Kingdome Hearts, Only Not

Chapter Five: The Kid Must Die

"This place looks great!" Sora said cheerfully. Although it was somewhat obvious that this world wasn't really that great. See kids? This is what we call denial.

"Uh, yeah." Donald agreed half-heartedly.

"Sure is sandy!" Goofy added optimistically.

"Reminds me of home! Riku and Kairi will definitely be here!"

"Well, don't get you're hopes up just yet, we still need to search around this world."

"Well where does that door lead?" Sora asked pointing to the door behind them.

"Um…nowhere I guess." Said Donald, who was oblivious to the fact that in a few years once Kingdom Hearts II came out, it would lead to the Underworld. But for right now, Olympus Coliseum would remain painfully small.

"Well then I guess we should go that way." Goofy said pointing to the opposite side of the large court yard to the entrance of a large coliseum type building.

"…Why are there two statues of men in skirts?" Sora asked slowly.

"Well Sora, according to this world, Greek Soldiers wore those."

"Yeah, but aren't most Greek sculptures of people who are naked?" Donald and Goofy gasped at him as though he had just said something extremely blasphemous. "…What?"

"Sora! This is Disney! How dare you say such things?!" Donald scolded. "Children play this game!"

"And because of that it can't be historically accurate?"

"Not if you don't want you're butt to get sued for faulty game rating it can't!"

"…Right, anyway." Sora said, disregarding this and opening the doors to the huge coliseum, only to find himself in a small Lobby. Said Lobby had no chairs, maps, head counter, or customer service desk, so it was really more of a mini entrance hall than a Lobby, but let's just ignore that now, shall we?

Upon entering the small room the trio took a good look around. The room was fairly normal; four walls, some fairly worn looking fancy Greek architecture, a couple of lamps, a random pedestal/plot-device, and a very short goat-man.

…Okay so it was pretty much the very antithesis of normal, but who's counting, eh?

Sora looked at the strange goat-man in a confused manner. However, Sora didn't seem very concerned about the mans goat-ness, being more confused as to the 'when and where' of the situation rather than the 'WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU?!' of it. He was however fairly offset by the thing he was going to now attempt to communicate with. Which is why he only managed a small, "Umm…"

"Good timin'," The satyr said cutting him off. "Gimmie a hand will ya'? Move that pedestal over thea fer me? I gotta spruce this place up fer the GAAAAmesss." He said, putting a lot of emphasis on the word 'Games', ether as a pitiful form of foreshadowing, or to make his stereotypically Brooklyn accent more prominent. Or maybe he just felt like being annoying.

So Sora, being an obedient young man who listens to adults and animals alike, ventured off to push the pedestal. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and pushed with all his might. Unfortunately, all his might wasn't quite mighty enough! He sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead, leaning on the pedestal for support. The pedestal remained still. Sora sighed and glared at his Disney companions.

"Guys, aren't you going to help me?"

"Nope." Donald said flatly, flipping through a magazine. It was the kind you typically find in Lobbies, even though the Lobby they were in wasn't very lobby-ish.

Sora seemed somewhat miffed and continued his glare. "And why not?!"

"B'cause, we can only do that later when it's symbolic and has the most plot significance." Said Goofy in an apologetic manner.

Sora rolled his eyes and walked over to the mysterious goat-man.

"It's way to heavy!" He whined.

"What?! Too heavy?! Since when have you been such a little…" The goat-man looked over our Sora and gasped in surprise. "Oh! Wrong guy! What're you doin' here?" The little goat-guy jumped off the second pedestal he was standing on and walked over to the group, managing to be rather intimidating despite the fact that he was practically a member of the Lollipop Guild. "This here's the world famous Coliseum! Heroes only!" He said walking up to Donald, who backed away from the scary little satyr. "An' I got my hands full preparin' fer the GAAAAmesss! So, run along pip-squeaks!"

Sora looked down at the little goat-man in what he believed was his intimidating face. However, all it really was, was him pursing his lips into a pouty sourpuss face that made him look like a five-year-old girl. The goat-man sighed.

"Look, it's like this…" He said with his hands on his hips in a less offensive tone. "Heroes a' comin' from all ovah! To fight ferocious monstas right here in the Coliseum!" He said walking about and waving his arms around extravagantly.

Donald crossed his arms. "You've got heroes standing right in front of you!"

Sora blinked in a confused manner. "Yeah but, even if we weren't, by what you say heroes aren't the only ones aloud, because monsters are coming too! Also, you apparently let members of the audience in here. How do you know we're not just here to watch a fight or something? What you're staying is totally contradictory and-"

"Yeah!" Goofy interjected putting his hands on Sora's shoulders and completely ignoring what he said. "Sora's a real hero chosen by the keyblade!"

"But that has nothing to do with-"

"And were heroes too!" Donald proclaimed jabbing his thumb at his chest proudly.

"Is anyone listening to what I-"

"Hero!? That runt?!" The satyr began laughing hysterically. Why he was laughing at the thought of a young and healthy fourteen year old being a hero and not the Duck and Dog-man that were first drawn some time in the early nineteen thirty's was a question that shall hence forth go unanswered. Sora scowled at this very insulting comment, and forgot all about the precious logic he was previously fighting to voice.

"You're just call me a runt, you Narnia reject!? Besides, I've fought plenty of monsters!"

The goat-man smirked. "Hey! If you can't even move this-!" He said starting to push the pedestal. "Mere pedestal…you can't call yer self…A HERO! UGH!" The little goat thing panted heavily after falling on the floor and coughing a lot. There was a brief moment in which the trio thought some CPR would be necessary, but fortunately, this was not so.

"Okay, so it takes more then brawn! Well…well let's see what you can do!"

Sora smirked in an accomplished manner, but his face fell when he remembered about why he was there in the first place "Wait, what?! No! We were just asking for directions So I could find Riku and Kai-!"

"We're ready for anything!" Donald proclaimed pulling Sora along to where the goat man was leading them.

"What the heck just happened!? What about Riku an-""

"Don't worry about it, they're dead." Donald said quickly in an attempt to shut up the Sora he was dragging along, Goofy trailing behind at a steady pace from behind.

A few minutes and five feet later…

"Okay kid, this here trial is though! You think you got what it takes?" Phil said in a serious tone.

"Yeah, I can do it!" Sora said, getting all pumped up and forgetting all about his actual reason for being there. I mean, if Sora's going to go around getting distracted from his search and fritter away his precious time with Disney characters, then maybe he shouldn't be wondering why Riku is angry at him for being neglectful. Even if Riku is a big Drama Queen who thinks he can go about doing whatever he wants just because he's angsty and Bishōnen-ish.

"A' you sure? It's tough, you might not make it through."

"I can handle anything you can throw at me!"

"Alright, you ready fer this?"

"Yes!" Sora whined, becoming impatient.

"Alright…" Phil said opening the doors to the main coliseum. The trio of heroes walked out into the blazing sun and gazed upon their challenge, all with a very dramatic air about them.

"…Um, what…"

"You have'ta break all the barrels within the time limit."

Sora was silent for a moment, before narrowing his eyes at the satyr. "Is this just another way of insulting me?"

Phil looked surprised, then offended himself. "What'eh you talkin' about? This's part ah' the Coliseum's most serious trainin' program!"

"This?! This is pathetic!" He complained, waving his arms around in an annoyed manner.

After a few minutes of convincing, Sora finally agreed to the little goat-mans test. He went off into the battle area and the timer went off. In a glorious display of valor, skill, and strength, he viciously beat every last barrel. Phil was so impressed by this, he allowed Sora to partake in an even harder test! One with more barrels and less time! In another vicious massacre of defenseless barrels becoming victims to senseless violence, Sora once again proved himself of absolutely nothing.

After the trio made their way back to the not-lobby, Phil turned to Sora and the group. "Ya'know, you ain't bad, kid!"

Sora stared at him with a bored and very slightly annoyed look. "Well, even though I didn't actually do anything," He quickly brightened up and smiled after saying this, putting his hands behind his head in a care-free manner. "Looks like I'm headed for the games!"

"Afraid not."

Sora's jaw dropped and he jumped back in surprise, which was really kind of lame because who didn't see that coming? "What?! Why not!?"

"Two words! You guys ain't heroes!"

"Are you kidding me!? If you want me to prove I'm a hero then set me up against a tougher training course and I'll prove it! You're being completely unfair!" Sora yelled in an outrage. "And that was four words!"

"Hey, look kid, if ya wanna prove yer a hero, hows about you start by masterin' this spell." The, as if by magic, Sora learned Thunder.

…no pun intended.

Outside…

"I can't believe this!" Sora fumed. "Incompetent goat-man telling me I'm not a hero! Well fine! Riku and Kairi aren't in this annoyingly tiny world, then we're leaving!"

"Yeah!" Donald agreed, equally angry. "And the King isn't here ether!"

Sora stopped dead. "…O-oh yeah, him too. Well, lets get out of here!"

The trio then stormed off to the world exit to find their ship, with the exception of Goofy who really didn't care very much about any of this. Secretly, Goofy was happy they wouldn't have to be fighting. But had he told that to Sora and Donald they would exclude them and, well, Goofy only wanted to fit in.

"Hmmm…a rather, stubborn old goat, isn't he?" Commented a mysterious and scary looking person from behind.

Donald turned around and quacked angrily. "Who are yo-"

"Oh my god, you're hair is on fire!" Sora shouted in a panic, pointing the strangers head.

"Heh, yeah yeah, calm down there little shorty." He said dismissively. "Wait wait, let me guess, you want to get into the games, right?" He said putting one of his hands on Sora's shoulder.

"Actually, I just wanted to find my friends, Riku and Ka-"

"Well, then, hey, get a load of this." He said, ignoring whatever it was Sora said. In a puff of smoke, a small piece of paper appeared in his other hand, which he handed to Sora. Sora, who should have been alarmed that a very tall blue man with flaming hair and the power to poof up pieces of paper was touching him, looked curiously from the small paper to the man.

"A pass?"

"No, a release form."

Sora blinked. "What?"

"Yeah, you know, so we're not liable for any injuries you may receive in the games."

"…Um, okay?" Sora said, carefully reading the small paper for loop holes and faults. "I'm not going to end up selling my soul for this, am I?"

"No no, it's just a release form. But if you don't want you're soul sold, don't sign anything else I give you." The man thought this over for a minute. "Uhh, you know what, forget I said anything."

Sora shrugged and signed the paper, smiling cheerfully the whole time. His smile dropped when he looked over to a somewhat annoyed Donald. "What?"

The Duck crossed his arms and went on tapping his foot in an annoyed manner. "You're an idiot."

"What I do now?"

"Ahem." Coughed the blue man. In another puff of smoke, the release form was gone and another piece of paper was in it's place. He handed it to Sora and started walking off. "Well, good luck."

Sora stood there looking between where the man had left and the pass. "Wow."

"Sora, you idiot! You don't just sign anything people tell you to!"

Sora looked at the Duck oddly. "What are you talking about? We got a pass to the games!"

"Yeah, this time, but who know what could have happened instead!"

"Donald, so far I've listened to every adult I've come across, and so far things always get better when I do!"

"…That's the worst logic I've ever heard."

"…Who cares, let's just go." Sora said flatly with a shrug, turning around to go back into the Lobby.

A few moments later…

Sora walked in and up to Phil, flashing the little Goat-man his new pass. Phil gasped.

"How'd ya get this?"

"Can we enter the game now?!" Sora said excitedly, bouncing and completely ignoring what the little goat man said.

Phil sighed. "Yeah, sure. I'll start ya off in the preliminaries. But be careful, some real weirdos sign up fer the GAAAAmesss."

"Wait a minute!" Donald squawked. "After all that stuff about not being a hero and that stupid trial, you're going to let us in because of some pass we got from an unnamed source?! Just like that?!"

"…Yeah." Phil said flatly.

"But, wait, you just said a lot of weirdos sign up for the games! You didn't stop them or put them through all this crap?! you just let them right in?!" Sora added hotly.

"They had passes too." He said with a shrug.

Donald and Sora both gaped in flabbergasted annoyance. Sora seemed like he was about to say something, but stopped, becoming fed up with the little goat-man, and just put up his hands in a dismissive gesture and walked away.

A few feet away…

Sora and company walked out onto the sandy and hot battle arena, the sun blazing down from above, once again with a very dramatic air about them. So dramatic in fact, that one could imagine the entire sequence in slow-mo. However, to do that, one would have to imagine them walking, not running, and since Sora's walk makes him look like he has a permanent wedgie, all dramatic air would be lost. But then again, wedgie or not, how dramatic can you really be with Donald and Goofy following you around? Not very my friend, not very at all.

In any case, ignoring the fact that the paragraph prior to this one was completely pointless, the trio prepared themselves for their first match. They wondered what their first enemy would look like. You could imagine their surprise when a set of heartless interrupted their match.

"Heartless! Wait, pause the match! Those things are in the way" Sora shouted pointing to the little creatures.

Phil looked very confused for a minute. "What's the mattah wit you kid, a' course they're in yer way, they're yer opponents!" He put his hands on his hips and smirked. "Givin' up already, kid?"

"I- It- But-What-" Sora stuttered in a shocked and confused manner. "How did they get in here?!"

"They had a pass…" Phil said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sora looked back at the heartless, who were all holding a tiny piece of paper, held out for him to see. "You're kidding." He said disbelievingly.

Despite this little upset, the match continued, and each heartless was defeated.

"You guys ain't heroes yet, but ya sure ain't doin' bad kid. Lucky ya came to me fer coaching."

"Coaching!? All you did was put us through some pointless trials and tell us we all sucked!" Donald shouted angrily. "Besides, how could you let a bunch of evil beings of darkness right into the games, but you wouldn't let us in because we weren't heroes!?"

Phil sighed heavily. "Because they had a pass! What part of that do you not get?!"

"Oh yes! The amazing logic bending powers of the all mighty pass! Passes solve all problems! HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT!?" The duck screeched sarcastically, shaking with anger.

"Gee Donald, are you feelin' alright?" Goofy asked in a worried tone.

The duck let out another loud squawk, throwing his arms up in frustration, and walking off to go try and calm down.

"…Sora, aren't you worried 'bout Donald?"

Sora sighed. "He'll be fine."

It was then that a strange man with spiky blond hair walked by. Sora stared at him as he did so, and the man stared at him. One can assume neither of their mothers told them it was rude to stare.

After the strange man was out of earshot, Phil turned to Sora. "Somethin' tells me he'll be a hard one to beat."

"Yeah, yeah, almost as hard as those barrels." Sora said dismissively.

I have a page break pass

Once Donald and Sora returned in a more calm state, the matches continued! As expected, more and more heartless (with passes) were their opponents. And oh the variety they saw! Shadows and soldiers and those annoying little spell casting kill-'em-in-one-hit-but-I-just-can't-REACH-'EM's, and even a large body or two! T'was a fun time for all! Two matches later, and Phil thought it a good time to comment on 'Him.' Sora, wondering who this 'Him' was, asked. It turned out, that Phil was just making an annoyingly trying to be subtle but not really introduction for Hercules, who wasn't even there yet. I mean, it was his movie. He could at least show up for more than one eighth of the level. Jeez.

But, as fun as the little distraction was, the tournament went on without our zero to hero gladiator. Apparently he was off visiting his father who Disney says doesn't sleep around behind his wife's back and has thousands of illegitimate children. So the tournament, and more heartless fought hard against Sora and his companions. Sora and said companions won every match. After winning their fourth match they took part in some gloating, jumping about and laughing. They did this after every match, of course, however during this particular gloating session, hidden in the shadows, a sinister conversation took place…

"See that little punk hopping up and down?" Said the blue god of the underworld, pointing towards said punk, er, I mean, Sora. "He's you're next opponent. Don't

blow it, just take 'em out, kay?"

Leaning against the wall was the blond spiky haired individual from earlier, also known as Final Fantasy Seven's main protagonist, Cloud. "…The mighty god of the underworld is afraid of some kid? I'm sorry, but my contract says-"

"I know what your contract says!" Shouted Hades, suffering a massive mood swing that sent him from calm to furious. "I wrote the contract! I know it says 'You only have to kill Hercules,' but you have to go through that kid to get to him!"

"…Yeah but do I have to kill him? Can't I just, you know, knock him out? I'll still win you know."

"No! The kid must die!"

Cloud cringed. "…Isn't that a book?" A god awful book, the writer might add.

The god of the Underworld went from angry to calm and semi-uninterested. "Huh?"

"…Nevermind.

The blond man took his weight off the wall and stood up straight. "And for that matter, why do I have to kill Hercules in the games? Can't I just, you know, wait till he's sleeping or something? He's not even here right now. He's off visiting his father or something."

Hades narrowed his eyes. "You don't know that…" He said in a suspicious voice.

"Yes I do actually. That Phil guy said it. Just now as a matter of fact, I was standing right there after all."

"Look just do your job. Hey, it's like that old goat says, rule number 11: Let loose and have fun with it! I mean, a casualty or two along the way is no big deal."

Cloud, having nothing to say in response to this statement, silently begins walking away.

"Geez, stiffer than the stiffs back home." The god of the underworld gave a menacing chuckle. "Oh well, suckers like him are hard to come by." from behind him, the sound of a growling dog could be heard.

"You do realize I can hear you." Said Cloud from a few feet away.

"…What?"

"I'm right here, I can hear everything you're saying."

"Uh, oh, I wasn't talking about you."

"…I'm the only one here."

"No, no, I was on the phone."

"…You don't have a phone."

"It's a Bluetooth." He said simply pointing to his ear.

Cloud gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Then what's that growling noise coming from the ominously shadowy area behind you?"

"…Oh, you know, just some lost mortal souls bound to this world by despair or something."

Cloud, deciding he really didn't care, left.

Elsewhere…

After the trio emerged triumphant from all their matches, they did another celebratory happy dance. Once this display of stupidity and uncoordination was complete, they prepared themselves for their next match. That's when Cloud revealed himself as their opponent.

"Hey, you're that rude guy who was staring at us before." Sora said cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that what he said was also rude.

Cloud looked a bit taken back by this, but resumed focus and pulled his enormous mummy sword from literally nowhere. And so an epic battle ensued! The trio fought bravely against this new adversary, maneuvering with skill and strategy. They worked together as a team! And through the power of teamwork, they actually had a chance of beating this new foe.

Only not, Because Final Fantasy totally p0wnz Disney and their annoying morals with pure violence every time.

Suddenly, the giant, three-headed dog Cerberus burst into the coliseum, even though not one of those doors were big enough for him to fit through. Cloud jumped away and fell to the ground, dropping his sword in the process. Sora shrieked like a girl. Soon the dog came to approach Sora, who stood his ground bravely. However, he also did it stupidly, because when facing a giant three headed dog, one would typically want to have a weapon, and yet, the keyblade was nowhere to be found. Well the dog lunged at the oblivious and unarmed Sora. However, at the very last minute, Hercules came from literally nowhere (the same literally nowhere where Cloud keeps his giant sword), and single handedly held off the dog.

"Herc!" Shouted Phil, who was standing around doing nothing.

"Phil! Get them out of here!" Said Hercules, temporarily picking up on Phil's ridiculously over-exaggerated Brooklyn accent. Phil, in turn, turned around and ran for his life, leaving Sora and Co. to fend for themselves. After a moment of standing around like an idiot (still not summoning his handy-dandy keyblade) They too ran away like scared goats.

Back in the Lobby…

"Okay…" Sora said, slumping against a wall and trying to catch his breath, "What just happened?"

"Well, that was Cerberus, the guardian of the Underworld."

"Okay, then what was he doing here?" Donald asked, annoyance apparent in his quacky voice. However he was ignored, because I guess nobody cared how or why a giant three headed dog who was supposed to be guarding the underworld attacked them in the Coliseum completely unprovoked.

"Well, Herc should be able to handle em'." He began optimistically before drastically changing his outlook and going on to say, "Then again, maybe not. This doesn't look good…"

Sora, being the heroic/idiotic type, began walking into the Coliseum.

"'Ey kid! You ain't thinking' ah goin' in there, are ya? This ain't some match, this is fer real!"

Sora raised an eyebrow at this. "What are you talking about, when we were in some match we still almost got killed!"

"Yeah, but, the release form only counted fer anything' that happens to ya in the GAAAAmesss!"

"Wait, how did you know that?"

"That's what the passes a' for. Ya can't get a pass without signin' a release form."

"So…SO THE WHOLE THING WITH THE STUPID PASSES-?!"

"-Was all a matter a' legal liability, at's right, kid. Can't letcha in unless yer a hero or ya got a pass, or more simply, unless you signed a release form, or yer so good ya don't need one."

Sora, as well as Donald, were once again, completely and annoyedly flabbergasted. "I- but- we- Then he- I- UGH! We don't have time for this! Pass or no pass I'm going in there! You can decided if I'm hero material or not!"

Phil looked at Sora's group, mismatched but brave, willing to fight for what they believed in. Willing to fight as a team. He saw them, the determination on their faces, and thought to himself: …Well, he can't press charges if he's dead, so… "Good luck, kid."

Back with Fluffy…

Hercules was pushed into a corner, with and unconscious Cloud slung over his shoulder. At this, FFVII fans chucked there controllers into their TV's and had a temper-tantrum at how Disney girl-ifyed Cloud. The situation was looking bad, which is when Sora and Co. arrived on the scene. The dog looked away for a moment, which was enough time for Hercules to make his getaway. From the corner of the stadium, Phil shouted some useless advice that would kick off another epic boss battle.

"Kid! I got two words of advice fer ya: ATTACK!"

So they battled. Cerberus' three heads took turns biting at Sora, only stopping to throw up darkness that blasted from the ground in energy beams no matter where he went. The battle was altogether, not that hard, but very annoying. After awhile, (and the use of a lot of potions) the trio defeated the giant dog, who fell down in a heap onto the arena floor.

Back in the Lobby once more…

"Thus," Began Phil, or really, I should say continued, seeing as how thus typically isn't a word one places at the beginning of a sentence. Reading off a large, scroll like piece of paper, Hercules leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, in a heroic manner… although I'm not quite sure how that works. "I hereby dub thee junior heroes, and infer on you full rights and privileges to participate in the GAAAAmesss. Further-" Phil paused momentarily, perhaps getting stuck on a word, or perhaps this was due to an awkward lag in the cutscene.

"Hey wait a minute!" Donald interjected in a delayed reaction, "What do you mean junior heroes?!"

"You rookies still don't know what it means to be true heroes!" He said putting his hands on his hips.

Sora rolled his eyes. "Oh let me guess. It's something stupid and clichéd like friendship or honesty." He said, making a mocking voice on the emphasized words.

Goofy looked thoughtful, ignoring Sora. "Well, uh, what does it take?"

"You guys will just have to figure that out for yourselves, just the way that I did." He said giving a heroic smile.

Sora, loosing all traces of his moody teenage attitude, grinned stupidly, seeming completely satisfied by this. "Gee! Thanks G.I.Justinian!"

"And remember, stay in school." He said giving a thumbs up.

"Um, alright!" Said Sora, slightly less enthusiastic, but still happy. "But, it's no problem! We'll start by proving ourselves in the games!" He said, looking dead serious and determined, in a voice much more dramatic than necessary. But then again, Sora's voice was a voice that couldn't be taken seriously by anybody. Sora was still working on his angry face, after all. His angry voice was far from perfected.

"There ain't gonna be no GAAAAmesss 'till we clean up the stadium." He paused. "And haul away the body of that giant three headed dog that's too big to fit through any of the doors…"

"Okay! We'll be back." Sora said with a shrug, completely discarding all determination and seriousness, and turning with Donald and Goofy towards the exit.

"And remember, stay in school!" Hercules said heroically once again.

Sora turned around and nodded. "O-okay…" he turned back and faced forward, sharing a confused look with Donald who shrugged.

"Ya already said that, Herc."

"Oh, Uh, Say no to drugs!" The trio slowed down a little, throwing some freaked out glances over their shoulders, before speeding up and walking out the door. "And don't forget to brush your teeth!"

"Herc, you can stop now." Phil said in an annoyed tone.

"Oh sorry."

The satyr stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I still can't believe that squirt beat Cerberus…"

"Well, just between us…" Hercules said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I had already worn Cerberus down by the time the little guy jumped in…oh, and that FFVII guy helped too."

"Heh, my lips are se- Wait a minute! Ya mean he didn't really beat Cerberus!?"

"…Well he helped a lot, but, I did most of the work."

"An' ya let me make him a junior hero?!"

"…Well, I'm sure he'll earn the title by the time he gets back." He said, heroically once again.

"No he won't!" Phil shouted, killing the heroic moment. "Did you see how scrawny he was?!"

"…Well, he still signed the release form."

"…Oh, alright then." The goat-man said relived, going back to whatever it was he was doing before all this craziness happened.

Outside…

On their way to the world exit, Sora and Co noticed Cloud sitting alone just outside the Coliseum doors. Sora, being oh-so friendly, became concerned and went to go talk to him. Donald tried to remind Sora that this said person had tried to kill them, but Sora was just too goodhearted (and stupid) to listen (or care).

"Hey, are you alright?"

Cloud looked up. "Yeah."

"So, why'd you go along with him anyway?"

He looked down. "I'm looking for someone, Hades promised to he- hay wait a minute, how did you even know about that?"

Sora shrugged. "Got me. It was never directly stated to me in the game. Guess someone must have explained it to me off-screen." He said with a dopy smile.

"…Well, anyway, I tried to exploit the power of darkness, but it backfired." He stood up, looking towards the sky for dramatic effect. "I fell into darkness, and couldn't find the light."

"Wow, that all sounds very emo." Said Sora in a genuinely sympathetic way. "I sure hope that doesn't happen to any of my friends, and that they don't try to kill me like you did. I also hope this isn't all foreshadowing pointing to the fact that that will indeed happen."

"Oh no need to worry about that Sora!" Goofy said cheerfully. "There's plenty of foreshadowing to that, but this is just a coincidence."

"Oh, thanks Goofy, that really makes me feel better." He paused, gaining a confused look. "Oh…wait…" Sora said, thinking this over a second time. Before he had time to realize what Goofy meant, Cloud cleared his throat to gain back the attention of the trio.

"Like I said, couldn't find my light." He said, looking up at the sky again for dramatic effect. Goofy, being utterly clueless, looked over in the same direction, trying to see what was so interesting.

"You'll find it." Sora said simply. At this, Cloud looked back down. "I'm searching too."

"For your light?"

Sora started nodding, but stopped abruptly. "Oh, wait no, my friends."

Cloud thought on this for a moment, before shrugging. "Okay that works too. Don't loose sight of it…uh, them." He said putting something in Sora's hand. He began walking way.

"Hey! How 'bout a re-match sometime! Fair and square, no dark powers involved!" He shouted after him.

Cloud laughed and flipped his hair, which gave the fangirls something to gawk at. "Heh. I think I'll pass."

After Sora took a minute to smile stupidly, and Cloud walked a few feet in the wrong direction, coming to the doors of the Coliseum, Sora left, and Cloud decided to climb out one of the narrow windows. The door closed slowly and dramatically behind them and suddenly the whole area became very dark. Suddenly, in the darkened arena, there was an image of Hercules with the sound of a narrator in the background.

"He's strong, he's kind, he's always there for you…and he's handsome to boot. He's…perfect. Perfect!" The figure is soon reveled to be Hades. "He's perfectly infuriating! He makes me CRAZY!" Suddenly, his blue flame hair turned into fed flaming hair and he erupted like a volcano of evil. There was a loud boom accompanying this. Phil and Hercules back in the Coliseum heard this, but decided to ignore it, saying it was probably just some stray dog. That explodes.

After this small release of stress, Hades started to cool off and calm down. "Hey, what am I worried about? All the pieces are falling into place…relax. Here's what I'll do. Let Hercules train the kid! In the next games, I'll take care of em' both." He paused at this, smiling proudly at his evil plan. "Yeah, that's always the best way to go, give you're enemies time to power up, then fight them. Hahaha, brilliant!" He paused, looked over his shoulder, where one could see Maleficent standing in the shadows. "Who invited you to the party? Stay out of this. This is my show."

Maleficent looked completely indifferent. "Well, even though it was my idea to start this little group of ours and take over the world(s), and without my help you wouldn't even know who that kid is or want to get him out of your way and he probably would have beat you by now--Fine. Fight to your heats content."

Hades looked smug for a moment, before realizing that he had just been insulted, and glared at the wall that Maleficent just opened a dark portal on and left through.

And to think, this could have all been avoided, if Hercules just got Zeus to smite them. But then of course, that would make sense.

Kingdome Hearts, Only Not

((A/N: Okay, Title and joke on which it is based are from a book we had to read called The King Must Die. It was a historical fiction about Greece and Mythology, centered around the main character, Theseus. It was and still is the worst piece of English literature ever spawned on this blue Earth. I have some excuses as to why this chapter is late, but you really don't care now do you? We all know I'm lazy, but school work doesn't help. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure I promised my friend Zac I'd mention him in this chapter but…I can't remember why. I was supposed to thank him…for something…oh whatever. Yay Zac. Anyway, please feel free to point out any and all spelling or grammar mistakes so I can fix them. Hope you enjoyed it. If so, reviews are much appreciated, and very motivating. So if you don't want to crush my self-esteem into little tiny bite-sized pieces, review. Even if it's short, just say something so I know you people are reading. M'kay, see you in a few months!))