WOW! 27 reviews for one chapter! You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for the comments!

Here is another chapter, because I really need to get to a happy part. No, this chapter will most likely not be happy, but it will bring us one step closer!

Enjoy!

Oh, and I forgot to add a forswear to the last chapter.

Just remember that I don't own it!

NOW, enjoy!

JAR:

I must have pulled at least five fistfuls of hair before he broke down the door and stared at me in complete shock.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" he said in horror. "What have you done?"

Bella's Point of View

I looked up at him in complete embarrassment. "I…uh…"

I stood up and tried desperately to reattach the fistfuls of hair to my head. It was in vain though. I had relapsed and now I had to live with that fact.

He came over and grabbed my shoulders roughly. "How could you do this Bella? Why would you do this?" he asked appalled.

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to gain the strength I needed to tell him how I felt.

"We need to talk," I whispered through my tears.

He almost laughed. "Yes we do."

He took his hands off of my shoulders and led me to my bedroom. We sat on my bed and he waited for me to explain myself.

"I don't know where to start," I said quietly.

"How about you start with what you were doing in the bathroom," he suggested.

I took a deep breath and began. "It's a disorder called pulling. I pull my hair out to replace my emotional pain with physical pain."

I looked down. I couldn't handle the hurt in his eyes.

"You do it because I left you." It wasn't a question.

I nodded.

"Bella, I need to explain to you why I left. You need to understand that I didn't want to."

I looked up in shock. "You didn't want to and yet you did?" I asked.

"Let me explain Bella. Please."

I made no motion to stop him, so he began.

"I left because I love you Bella. I left to protect you."

"From what?"

"From me. From my family. From what we are."

I looked away. I couldn't believe what he was saying. He left because he didn't love me. He wouldn't care if I got hurt. He didn't care about me.

"Please believe me Bella. I love you. I always have, and I always will."

I shook my head. "No you don't."

"Yes Bella, I do."

I suddenly lost it. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have left me!" I shouted.

He stared at me in shock.

"Bella…"

I jumped up and cut him off. "You left me here all alone to rot! You said things that night that tore me apart! Are you telling me you lied that night?"

"Yes Bella," he whispered. "I lied to protect you."

"Well guess what!" I shouted. "You didn't succeed!" I pointed to my head and watched as he looked down in shame.

"Please forgive me Bella. Please," he whispered.

I almost laughed. "You can't do something like this to me and then expect me to take you back in a heartbeat. I'm not a pushover."

He stood up and walked to me. "I know what I did was horrible. I suffered too. That is why I came back. But I did this to protect you."

I closed my eyes and let my tears fall freely. "You can protect me from you, but you can't protect me from myself," I whispered.

I heard him take in a deep breath. I opened my eyes and looked at him sadly.

"Go. Please just go," I said quietly.

"Bella…"

"I said go!" I yelled.

He nodded and smiled at me sadly before walking slowly out the door.

I didn't hear the front door close, but I knew he was just being quiet. I waited a few seconds just to be sure before I slowly fell to my knees crying in despair.

I had just told the man I love to go away. How could I have done that? He had hurt me so deeply though. This was more serious then just saying 'I forgive you.' I no longer trusted him at all.

I curled into a ball right there on the floor and waited for death to find me. Maybe death would make me feel better.

Edward's Point of View

I nodded and smiled sadly before walking away from my love.

I knew I should go, but I couldn't help myself. I stood quietly outside Bella's door and watched as she dropped to her knees and began to cry in complete agony.

How could I have been so stupid? I thought leaving would be a good thing, but it was the worst mistake of my existence. I had hurt the girl I loved so deeply that I didn't know if she would ever forgive me.

I watched as my angel curled up into a ball and stared into space with no emotion on her tear stained face. I turned away and ran to my car. I had to make this better. I had to fix my Bella.

Bella's Point of View

I knew that lying here wasn't going to help anything, but I couldn't work up enough energy to move. So I stayed on the ground curled into a ball.

Eventually, I heard the front door open and close and Charlie called out my name.

"Bella?"

I made no motion to get up.

"Bella, Angela called the station. She said you came home early and that she was worried about you," he called.

I didn't say anything. I just curled tighter into my ball.

I heard Charlie clomping up the stairs toward my room. "Bella?" he called.

He opened my bedroom door and gasped.

"Bella!"

He ran over to me and bent down. "Bella? Honey, can you hear me?" he asked.

I looked up at him but did not speak.

"What happened sweetie?" he asked quietly.

Slowly, I stood up and stared at Charlie. I watched as his eyes got huge.

"Your hair!" he yelled. "You were doing so well Bella! How could you do this? How could you…"

I cringed and cut him off. "Please don't yell at me," I whispered.

He frowned but stopped. "Why did you do it Bella?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"He came back," I whispered.

Charlie gasped. "Where is he?" he shouted. "I'll kill him!"

I laughed humorlessly. "Don't worry. He's not here anymore."

Charlie looked at my pained expression and embraced me in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry Bella," he said quietly.

I pulled away and wiped the tears that had formed off my face. "Don't worry about it. I am just going to check out the damage to my hair."

He nodded, and I walked into the bathroom. I picked up the clumps of hair from the ground and threw them in the trashcan. I then looked into the mirror.

I had two bald spots on the right side of my head, but surprisingly, that was it.

I took a brush and was barely able to cover them, but I was able to cover them and that made me extremely happy.

I turned on the water and rinsed off my face. If only water could wash away all the pain too.

I walked out of the bathroom and made my way downstairs. I went into the kitchen and found a box of pizza on the table.

"I decided to give you a break today considering…well yeah," Charlie said as he walked in from the living room.

I tried to smile even though all I felt like doing was crying. "Thanks dad. I'm not hungry though, so I am just going to go to bed."

Charlie frowned in disapproval. "Bella, you are entirely too skinny. You never eat enough these days. Now, sit down and eat at least one piece of pizza before you go to bed."

I frowned. "I said I'm not hungry."

"Bella," Charlie warned.

I could tell he wasn't going to give in, so I sat down and forced a slice of pizza down. I didn't like the fact that Charlie watched me like a hawk the whole time though.

Once I was done, I stood up and started walking away, but Charlie grabbed my arm lightly. "You know what would be even better?"

I shook my head.

"If you ate another slice."

"Goodnight dad," I said.

He laughed and let go of me. "Fine. At least you ate something. Now go off to bed."

I turned around and started to ran up the stairs, but not before hearing Charlie say, "I swear that boy is going to die!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What did you say?" I asked.

"What? Um…I didn't say anything sweetie. I thought you were tired," he hinted.

I turned around and looked him straight in the eyes. "I might be upset right now. I might be depressed, and messed up, and angry. But that doesn't mean you have the right to do anything to…Edward." Saying his name hurt, but I forced it out.

"Bella…"

"I might be mad, no infuriated at him right now, but that doesn't mean I don't still love him," I said calmly.

Charlie gasped. "Bella, he hurt you! He hurt you so badly! How in heaven's name could you still love him?"

"You don't think I know that?" I yelled. "You don't think I know how badly he hurt me dad? He hurt me. I know that! But yes, I still love him. No matter how angry I am at him, I will always love him!"

"I can't believe you Bella!" Charlie yelled. "So does this mean you forgive him? Does this mean you two are back together?"

I lowered my head. "Just because I love him doesn't mean I forgive him," I said quietly.

"So you two aren't back together?" he asked in relief.

"Don't sound so happy about it!" I yelled. "I most definantly am not!"

"Well if you aren't happy, then why don't you just get back together with your two timing boyfriend? Get back together with him even though you know he doesn't love you or care about you! Get back together with him even though he thinks you are a worthless piece of crap!"

I gasped. That was below the belt.

"Bella, I didn't mean that," Charlie said quickly.

"Stop," I whispered.

"I love you Bella. I care about you. I don't think you are a worthless piece of crap."

"But he does," I whispered so quietly I wasn't sure he heard it.

"Bella…"

"If you will excuse me," I interrupted quietly. "I will be in my room."

I walked into my room and slammed the door behind me as tears began to cascade down my face. This was going to be a heck of a night.

My alarm clock went off at exactly six thirty. I shut it off and didn't get up until six fifty-five.

When I finally did get up, I only had enough time to brush out my hair making sure to cover the new bald spots and get dressed. I didn't care what I looked like though, so it didn't really take that much time.

I ran downstairs and was surprised to see Charlie sitting at the kitchen table with his head lowered. When I walked into the room, he looked up at me with sad eyes.

"You are going to school?" he asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked just as quietly. Charlie and I had never fought like this before. It was awkward.

"I just thought…oh never mind."

"I…uh…well I have to go now," I said.

"Bella, I want to apologize for what I said last night," he said quickly.

I did not want to talk about this right now. "I really have to go now," I said.

"Bella, please…"

"Dad, I don't have time for this. We can talk later." Then something clicked in my head.

"Why aren't you at the station?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

"Dad…"

"No, I didn't go kill that boy last night. I wanted to, but I didn't."

"Then what are you doing home?"

"I took the day off."

I frowned. Charlie never took the day off. "Why?"

"I was up all night thinking about what I said to you. I'm tired."

"Well then why don't you go to bed?" I asked. "I'll be back later. We can talk then."

"Bella…"

"I really can't talk right now!" I yelled immediately regretting it. The look in Charlie's eyes was enough to bring me to shame. "I'm sorry dad. I just…can't talk about this. Not right now. Not until I am ready. Later okay? I promise," I said in a softer tone.

He nodded his head and stood up. "You better go. You are going to be late."

I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door completely aware of Charlie staring me down.

I pulled into school with one minute to spare. I practically had to run not to be late for my first class.

When I did get there, I wanted to turn around and run back to my truck as fast as possible. He was there. Edward…I cringed…was there.

Slowly, I made my way into the classroom only to find that the only seat left was next to him.

I stopped in front of the room. I couldn't sit by him. Not now after everything that had happened.

"Ms. Swan, is there a problem?" Mrs. Hansen asked.

"Um…there aren't any seats left," I said even though I knew very well that there was a seat for me.

Edward frowned at me, but I looked away at the teacher.

"Yes there is. There is one right next to Mr. Cullen," she said.

I mentally cursed her. Stupid teacher! "Oh. I must have looked that one over," I said.

"Well, take a seat then. Class has already begun."

Slowly, I walked over to the table I was obviously destined to share with Edward. I stood on the side staring at him for a moment. The look in his eyes! It made me cringe. I couldn't do this. I almost turned and ran right then.

"Ms. Swan, I said take a seat," Mrs. Hansen said more forcefully this time.

I dropped my bag to the floor and slowly sat down making sure not to look at Edward. That would hurt too much.

"Thank you. Now, let's get started. If you could all take out your textbooks and turn to page 453…"

I blocked the teacher out concentrating all of my might on ignoring Edward. I could feel his penetrating gaze though. It nearly tore me apart.

"Would you like to tell the class what is so interesting about Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen?" Mrs. Hansen asked.

Everyone in the room snickered, but I cringed. I could feel Edward take his gaze off of me. "No Mrs. Hansen. I am sorry. Please go on with your lesson."

His voice brought me to a whole new level. I nearly threw up right there from the stress.

"As I was saying…"

I put my head on the table and tried to clear my mind. I couldn't do this. I wasn't strong like Angela thought. I couldn't handle being near Edward anymore. He had hurt me so badly and he continued to hurt me by just being here to remind me.

A cold hand began to stroke my hair. At first, it felt nice. But then I realized whose hand it was. I jerked my head up and jumped up.

"What is it now Ms. Swan?" Mrs. Hansen asked frustrated.

"I…I don't feel well. Could…could I go to the nurse?" I asked nearly crying.

"Well, if you really don't feel well…"

I shook my head.

"Would someone like to take Ms. Swan to the nurse?" she asked.

Edward immediately stood up and came to my side. "I'll do it."

I mentally cursed her again and quickly walked out of the room with Edward following closely behind.

Once we got outside, I took off running. There was no way I was going to be alone with Edward. But of course, he was too fast and caught up with me. He put his arm around my waist and whirled me around.

"Bella, stop," he said.

"Don't order me around," I whispered through my tears. I jerked away from his touch and began to walk to my truck.

"Bella, we really need to work through this. Please let me talk to you," Edward begged.

"I c…can't talk to y…you," I stuttered.

"Why not?" he asked keeping up with me easily. I got to my truck and turned around.

"You hurt me Edward," I said quietly. He smiled as I said his name but I cringed. "You hurt me. Can't you understand that I just need my space?"

"Bella, I know I hurt you. I will never forgive myself for that. But don't you think you are being a little irrational about this? I apologized to you and I meant it. I love you Isabella. Can't you accept that?"

I gasped. "Irrational?" I said. I was surprised I was keeping so quiet. Normally, I would be yelling by now. "Edward, it killed me when you left. You can't come back and expect me to get over that pain," he cringed, "right away. It is going to take some time. Please understand that," I begged.

"I do understand that Bella. I know I hurt you terribly. I understand that it is going to take some time. But I need to know one thing. Do you still love me?" he asked.

I looked down. I thought back to my fight with Charlie last night. Yes I still loved Edward. But should I tell him that?

"If you don't love me anymore, I will completely understand. I have put you through a lot. I just need to know. If you don't love me anymore, I will leave you alone." That statement made him cringe.

I sighed. "I love you Edward. I love you so much." I looked up and couldn't miss the huge smile spreading across his face. "But that doesn't mean I forgive you." His smile turned into a frown. "At least not yet."

"I will earn your forgiveness Bella. I will win you back," he said with determination.

"I am not a prize to be won," I said.

His eyes widened in shock. "I didn't mean it like that Bella."

I sighed. "I know. Anyway, you should probably be getting back to class now."

He frowned. "You aren't coming?"

"I will in a minute. I…I just can't be around you right now."

His body stiffened. "Bella…"

"I will come in a minute and I will sit by you in class. Isn't that enough for you?" I nearly shouted. I lowered my voice. "I just need time to calm myself down. I can't be around you right now. It is too hard." My voice cracked on the last word.

"Oh Bella." Edward tried to pull me into an embrace but I jerked away.

"Please just go Edward. I will come back in a minute."

He frowned deeply and couldn't hide the pain in his eyes. I was hurting him, but he had hurt me. No, I wasn't trying to get revenge. I just needed him to understand how deeply he had hurt me.

"Fine. I will earn your forgiveness one way or another," he said as he walked off.

I slumped against my truck as soon as he was out of sight and began to cry.

Wow! That was long! I hope you enjoyed it!

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