And here it is— 100 or so more rules. – is totally exhausted- Well, anyways … I'm too tired to talk much. Suicides ... as in the exercise type... really kill. No pun intended... so... OY! SOMEONE DO THE DISCLAIMER!

Naruto: Oh! I'll do it! Dattebayo!

M-D13: Do then… -dies on desk-

Naruto: All right! Disclaimer! Any and all character references and/or suggestions belong to the appropriate creator. Marine is in no way responsible for any damages or copyright infringement made during these rules! Dattebayo! -grin-

Sasuke: What the hell was that, dobe?

Naruto: The disclaimer! Duh!

Sasuke: It sucked. A simple "she owns nothing" could've worked.

Naruto: -anime vein- FINE THEN NEXT TIME YOU DO IT, HOT-SHOT!!!

Sasuke: I will. –scoff-

M-D13: ... Hm. Oh, hey, Sasuke, here's a job for you now.

Sasuke: Tch...

M-D13: Do the warning.

Sasuke: … Oh. That. –sigh- Fine. SOME RULES FEATURED IN THIS FICTION MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS OR OTHER LEAD ONS. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY RUINED IMAGINATIONS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. There. Happy?

Naruto: Oi, that was awful, dattebayo...

Sasuke: -twitch- Why you little -- You're so annoying! ... Dattebayo. -smirk-

Naruto: Grrrrr!! -anime vein-

M-D13: -just sighs- … Lord. This is what help I get? I asked for decency. Not idiocy… Anyways… read on, fellow Naruto-fan (more than likely… otherwise, why the hell are you here?), and embrace the next shit-load you need to memorize…

Any questions regarding the rules (such as ones you don't understand), ask me. I'll be glad to clarify them for you.

• Make fun of the Rice Country's name and Otogakure villagers (and various others) might kill you.

• Kabuto's hair is naturally white. So, do not call him "Mister Graying-All-Ready" unless you want to be killed.

• The sound ninja team consisting of Kin, Dosu, and Zaku, are not a low-rate band. Zaku does not honk his hands, Kin does not jingle and/or ring her bells, and Dosu does not use his arm as a flute.

• None of the Uchiha (or Kakashi) have "red-eye syndrome". It's natural. Trust us.

• There is no possible way to "drink" the Tea Country.

• Hayate has a bad cough, however he has always had it. Offering him a Ricola will probably not help.

• The stick in Genma's mouth is not a lollipop, sucker, and/or any other sort of candy.

• Do not tell any of the ninja "not to run with kunai" because they'll "gouge their eyes out if they fall". They're not 5, and kunai are not scissors. And you are not their mother or father.

• Argue with Ino or Sakura and you're likely to go around in circles.

• Shikamaru is not Rudolph.

• … nor is he related to Iruka.

• I will not throw a bucket of water on Iruka and claim that you "thought he was a beached dolphin".

• Never ask Gai to help you train— you'll end up doing 500 laps around Konoha… on your hands.

• Contrary to popular belief (and in the denial of the leg-warmers) Gai is not trapped in the Hippie Decades of the 70/80's. Take a note he doesn't say "groovy". At all.

• … and neither is Rock Lee.

• I will not use the (non-existent) jutsu "1,000 Years of Love" on anyone.

• I will not use the (non-existent) jutsu "1,000 Years of Hugs" on anyone.

• If you (somehow) end up working for Kakuzu, do not ask him for a tip afterwards.

• … nor should you ask him for a raise. Actually, you're probably working for free.

• A windmill shuriken is not to be used as an actual windmill.

• Kakuzu is not an octopus.

• … nor is he Doc. Oct.

• Do not whisper "snake-rape!" in Sasuke's ear. You'll make him cry.

• Yes, while it is humorous to cut off Hidan's head and replace it with a pumpkin (or just cut off his head in generally), it is not a good idea.

• … and if you do, his head might bite you.

• Tobi's mask is not a lollipop. It does not taste like a lollipop even though it looks like a lollipop. Do not lick him.

• I will not steal Tobi's mask to make "pumpkin pie".

• Tobi is still a good boy.

• Jiraiya is not secretly related to the Hypno Toad. That's a different show.

• Screaming and running away from everyone and everything is not an appropriate ninja way.

• TenTen is homicidal.

• Piss Tsunade off and you'll likely be killed or, if you're lucky, left within an inch of your life.

• Do not throw water on Gaara to see if his sand will turn into mud.

• … nor should you (if and when it does work) laugh and go around telling everyone.

• Do not go up to Gaara in a swimsuit and ask him if he'll provide a beach for you.

• I will not sing "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting" to Lee.

• I will not ask Neji if he's secretly a girl.

• … nor will I ask him if he's secretly in love with Hinata.

• I will not ask Sakura if she's secretly a transvestite.

• I will not ask Ino if she's secretly a transvestite.

• Shino is not blind.

• … and Kiba is not his seeing-eye dog.

• Hinata did not dye her hair from brown.

• … nor did any other Hyuuga clan member dye their hair from dark violet.

• I will not name a bird "Neji", put it in a cage, and then set it free outside.

• I will not ask Kiba if his two-headed wolf jutsu is painful for his skeletal structure.

• I will not ask Sakon if Ukon ever leaves him alone.

• … nor will I ask if they have "separation anxiety".

• I will not ask Temari if she will fan me.

• I will not break Tayuya's flute.

• … nor will I ask her if her summons respond to a harmonica.

• Sasuke is not a monkey and Itachi is not a weasel.

• … nor do they chase each other around a mulberry bush.

• Itachi is not, in no shape or form, related to Shadow the Hedgehog.

• … and Orochimaru is not Eggman.

• I will not bring up "conjoined twin separation surgery procedure" with Sakon and Ukon.

• … nor will I take them to a medical expert and tell them you've found the cure to separating conjoined twins painlessly.

• I will not sing "We're Family" from James and the Giant Peach to any of the Akatsuki members.

• Challenging TenTen to a contest of "who can get the first bull's-eyes" is utterly pointless. She'll win.

• Do not attempt to upgrade Temari to an electric fan. Even if she likes it better, she'll have nowhere to plug it in.

• I will not ask Kankuro how he does not get heatstroke from living in the desert with a full black body suit.

• I will not ask Shikamaru to do my math homework.

• … nor any other homework I may have.

• Going into the Forest of Death by yourself will most likely result in death.

• I will not make TonTon into bacon.

• … nor will I put TonTon's head on a stick and call him (her?) the "Lord of the Flies".

• Akamaru can and will bite you if ever anger him.

• I will not throw a tennis ball and tell Kiba to "fetch".

• … nor will I attempt to "puppy-train" him.

• Rock Lee is not a turtle, so do not go up and ask him where his shell went.

• … or attempt to make him into turtle soup.

• As hard as it is to believe, Rock Lee is not related to Maito Gai.

• I will not ask Neji and TenTen if they feel like sometimes their squad is a "two-man team". You might make them cry.

• I will not refer to Neji and TenTen as "kid #1" and "kid #2" of their team.

• I will not ask Gaara if he dyes his hair.

• Kisame is not a smurf.

• Choking Kisame to see what colour he turns is not what one would normally consider a good idea.

• To Harry Potter fans: Orochimaru is not, in any way, shape, or form, related to or secretly Voldemort.

• Though (most to all) ninjas can successfully walk on water does not mean any of them are Christ.

• … and none of the Akatsuki is the Anti-Christ.

• Kisame does not live in a "pineapple under the sea" or have any relation to any Spongebob characters.

• Kisame is not related to that shark from any of the JAWS movies.

• Kakuzu is, in no way, related to Squidward.

• I will not ask Konan if she could mail herself.

• Kurenai's dress is not made of toilet paper.

• While she has black hair and red eyes, Kurenai is not an Uchiha.

• Kakashi is not Sasuke's father.

• … and Kurenai is not his mother. I thought we established this.

• Kakashi is a master of the "Stalking no Jutsu".

• … however he will not teach it to you.

• Kankuro does not do free puppet shows. Kankuro also does not do free "puppet" shows.

• I will not ask Konan if origami is her only talent.

• … nor will I ask her if she ever plans on debuting in Paper Mario.

• I will not play double dutch or jump rope with Naruto's Kyuubi's tails.

• I will not wrap Gaara up with a bow and/or ribbon and send him as a Valentine's Day card (y'know … because he has "love" on his forehead?)

• I will not give Deidara play-doh or silly-putty and say it's better than clay.

• "Durable" is not a word that exists in Deidara's dictionary.

• I will not make fun of Peine and call him an "intensified case of excessive bi-polar multiple personality disorder". He and the other 5 Peine (Peines? Peini?) will kill you.

• Sakura did not dye her hair.

• I will not draw on Konan.

• Abiding to these rules will most likely allow you to live in the Naruto Realm without death, injury, or other terrible obscenities. Choosing to ignore any of the above rules will most likely result in … well, death, injury, or other terrible obscenities. We strongly recommend you follow and abide to these rules and … well, just don't piss anyone off and you're good to go.

And there you have it. Rules approximately 201-300! Whew. God, this is really long. But I'm proud! . I'm very proud! I'm almost at my goal of 500! GO ME!

R&R please. Any and all flames will either be ignored, returned appropriately, or given to Sasuke for his various fire-related needs.

Sasuke: Must you constantly say that?

M-D13: Yes. Yes I must. Anyways, thanks for reading -wave, wave-