M-D13: Welcome, one and all, to THE RULES OF NARUTO! This chapter, however, is not more rules but—
Reader: T.T –groan-
M-D13: … … … but … rather a special "interview" and "uncut" chapter! A.K.A… An actual storyline!
Reader: -gasp!!- o.o
M-D13: … … Yeah. So, anyways, in this chapter, we're going around and interviewing everyone, thus the title "Special Report Live From the Forest of Fan-Fiction!" For any of you that get the reference, good for you. You get a cookie (well, not really, but it's the thought that counts). If not, I'm poking fun at episode (what was it …?) 25 (or so I think), which is "Special Report! Live From the Forest of Death!" So, yeah. Sit back and enjoy the wonders of my god-awful "actual storyline" writing skills.
And for my sanity's sake (that and I'd get very bored with writing "Marine-Depths13" forever and a day… plus it just sounds awkward), I shall simply be "Marine" throughout this. Have fun, everyone.
Damn. Gotta do my own disclaimer.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own a lot of things… Like the characters in this FANfiction. I barely even own the chapter title D:
LET US BEGIN!! CUE TITLE!!
"Special Report: Live From the Forest of Fan-Fiction!"
Naruto looked up at the sky, confusion written on his face, "Sakura … I heard the sky talk…"
"You just took Kakashi-sensei's glaucoma medicine again, probably," Sakura muttered to him, distractedly, but intently, reading a book ("How to Get An Emo For Dummies" to be exact).
This caused Naruto's thought of: 'What's glaucoma medicine?' But that was quickly dismissed with a small shrug and a random (out loud): "Oh well!"
Sasuke, the sanity of the team (… well, at times), was sitting with his one knee drawn up to his chest, his back resting against a tree. He was being emo, basically (I'm going to get killed by the fan girl mafia for that… … even if it is true). The squad dubbed with the number 7 was hanging around in the training field, as per usual, and waiting, as always, for their sensei… who just happened to be 8 hours late that particular day. A new record… by 5 god-be-damned hours.
Anyways, Sasuke looked up from staring at a very interesting spot in the ground to stare at his teammate, and saw the boy randomly shrug and say, "oh well!" to himself. Again. "… Dobe."
Naruto's bushy head snapped over to Sasuke angrily, "What was that!?" Sasuke just muttered a "tch" and looked away like the hotshot emo he is. "… No! Seriously! What did you say!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM MY LOSS OF HEARING DUE TO SAKURA CONSTANTLY SCREAMING AT ME, DATTEBAYO!!"
Sakura whapped him upside the head with her overly large book, causing him to whine like a child as he gripped the spot where she hit him, "The world can hear you!! SHUT UP, NARUTO! CHA!!" 'He sure does say "dattebayo" a lot … He's so annoying! I don't even know what that even means! Probably some secret code or something …'
"But Sakura-chan!" Naruto whimpered. 'She sure does say "cha" a lot… I like her and all, but it gets annoying… I wonder what it means… Probably some secret code or something …'
Sasuke just groaned and slammed his head against his knee, sighing. God did he have stupid-ass teammates… And a stupid (not to mention late)-ass sensei … And a stupid-ass life … and a stupid-ass older brother… The Uchiha boy's "emo moment" was disrupted as a cry of "YOU'RE LATE!!" and "YOU'RE REALLY LATE!!" echoed through the training area, chorused by both Sakura and Naruto, as always.
"Sorry, guys!" Came the familiar, easy-going voice, causing Sasuke to lift his head with annoyance. "I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life (A/N: But we all know what that really means XD) …" He smiled (presumably) under the mask, but then muttered something quietly, "and man did I score well with that one woman!"
"What was that last part, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked curiously, not having heard him.
Again, the sensei grinned (presumably) under the mask, "Ohhh, nothing Naruto."
"Tch," Sasuke grumbled from his place against the tree as he stood up. "Why don't you tell us why you're really late?" 'As if sensei could really get a girl … '
Sakura nodded in agreement as she always does when Sasuke says something as "Prince Charming" (A/N: …) himself strode over, "Yeah, Sasuke's right… Kakashi-sensei, why were you 8 hours late?"
"Did the path of life's road signs change?" Naruto asked obliviously, blinking. "I remember you said that they did that before."
That comment caused the other two genin and jounin to slowly turn to stare blankly at the fox. There was a long pause before Sasuke was heard sighing and the two genin hung their heads.
Cue "dooooommmmm" sound effect and swiggly lines.
Kakashi thought for a moment before nodding, hand cupping his chin idly. "I guess I could tell you. I'm actually late because I—"
A black-haired girl with her left eye covered by a large bang strode out from the bushes, "Kakashi-san! I still have one more question for you! I just thought of it after you had—" She noticed the jounin was surrounded by kids her age, if not a little younger. "Oh. Are these the three you had talked of?" (A/N: there's a picture of "Marine" on my DA account… technically she's known as "Tempest", so take a look in my profile for the DA link if you're curious of her actual appearance.)
The three genin looked at the new arrival curiously (with even Sasuke showing "some" curiosity). "Uh… Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto finally asked after a moment, "Who's that chick?" He asked, pointing slackly at the new ninja, who huffed, obviously offended at being called a "chick", even if she was a girl. I don't blame her (A/N: wait, isn't that blaming myself?), honestly. I hate being called a "chick", but I digress.
"This 'chick', Naruto, is Marine." Kakashi explained, smiling (again… presumably). "She was interviewing me. That is why I was late. I was accompanying her as she interviewed various shinobi."
"I've gotten nothing thus far," Marine muttered angrily, showing a blank notepad with a flip-up cover. "All of the ninja I've interviewed haven't been … exciting enough. And damn is that saying something when you interview ninja."
Kakashi sighed, "Sad, too. She was looking to make two of the shinobi she met into stars."
That perked Sakura and Naruto's interest. The thought running through both of their minds were "All right!! I can finally show them up and prove I'm better to win my love's heart!!' Tch. And they say they don't think alike.
"Don't make it sound better than it is…" The black-haired girl scolded the jounin, "I just need information for a report." Marine corrected, sighing. "All the jounin that Kakashi introduced me to were dull and boring… Again, that's saying something if they're a ninja."
Naruto lit up, grinning, "Well, dattebayo, we could be interviewed…"
"Hn, really now?" Marine asked, pulling out a pencil from her pants pocket. She looked semi-interested in the blonde boy. "Well, I guess you do look the most interesting out of the group…" She looked him up and down carefully, and then tapped the pencil against her temple thoughtfully. "Are you colourblind by any chance?"
Sasuke, who had taken Naruto's compliment as a challenge (after all, he has to better at everything…), strode up a little closer to the new girl, trying not to make it look like he was wanting the attention instead (even though technically he was, however we won't tell him that!). She glanced over and noticed he had moved nearer, and looked him up and down as well in a contemplative manner. Sakura puffed out slightly, twitching, thinking the girl was checking him out for another reason. She took a few steps forward, and then Marine's eye snapped over to Sakura at the movement. She examined her for a minute.
"I guess I could interview each of you," Came the response after a moment. "Do you know of any other shinobi that might be of interest?" Marine asked, looking over to Naruto. The blonde boy grinned,
"Plee-enty! Give me five minutes! Dattebayo!"
… … SIX MINUTES LATER … … (Naruto: Okay, okay, so I took 60 seconds longer! Sue me, dattebayo. Sasuke: -starts the paperwork-)
Naruto had rounded up all the shinobi he knew (well, that he cared about at the moment … such as the rest of the rookie 9, Gaara's team who had been visiting and got un-willingly dragged into it, and Neji's team … … and … somehow the … Akatsuki members?) and then all of the group had gathered in the un-used chuunin exam arena, for no good reason. All of the ninja that weren't rogue were keeping away from those that were, and everyone was on their guard. Sakura, upon spotting the Akatsuki (and Sasori mocking her by waving, smirking, just showing off that "hey! I'm alive by a loophole!" which pissed her off even more), stormed over to the cause of the problem.
"Naruto! What the hell are they doing here!?" Sakura snapped in an angry whisper, tugging on Naruto's ear violently. Naruto whined and muttered,
"But Sakura-chan! They're being perfectly behaved basically," Naruto defended, "I saw them and I just figured that …" 'Maybe they'd kill everyone off and I'd be the only one left and be totally awesome!' went unsaid.
The Akatsuki members were just off by themselves in the corner of the arena, somehow next to a conveniently placed coffee machine and water cooler, hanging about it and talking idly. Every now and then there was a shout of something random and then they'd all start laughing, causing quite a sight indeed.
"They aren't causing any harm…" Naruto eased. Sakura scoffed, but what she was about to say was cut off by a certain raven-haired boy,
"Yet." Sasuke muttered angrily, scowling. He was in the same room as his brother who was not allowed to kill at that moment— of course he was in an even bitterer mood than before.
Naruto looked around skeptically, "… Is anyone besides me hearing voices from nowhere?!"
"I told you to stop taking Kakashi-sensei's glaucoma medicine," Sasuke mumbled and walked off to go be emo in the furthest corner away from Itachi he could find.
Marine spotted the Akatsuki members, and waved to Deidara when he looked over. Deidara noticed the girl, recognized her faintly (but he couldn't remember where for the life of him), grinned and waved back. Marine nodded in his direction, sparring a small smile of her own, before turning to Naruto,
"So. Uzumaki Naruto, was it?" She asked, clipboard in hand. The blonde nodded and grinned. "All right. You're my first interviewee. Follow me."
The black-haired chica led Naruto into a small room through the hallway, which Naruto quickly recognized as the hallway he and Shikamaru had traveled down once at the Chuunin exams (and effectively bumped into Gaara, who was clinically insane at that time period) and shuddered gently at the memories. He was led into an empty room (which had brooms and other various cleaning utensils varied about it— as well as a few blood spots here and there and a dead body in the closest) where there were two chairs in the middle.
"Sit," Marine commanded and sat down in one of the chairs. Naruto looked at the chair he was to sit in, and noticed it looked as if it was going to break at the slightest touch. Either way, he sat down like the good dog he was and the chair made a creak of protest. The Kyuubi squirmed nervously in his seat. "All right, so, I'm gonna ask you a few questions. They're pretty straightforward, with little thinking required— more than likely that's your style. Stop fidgeting, the chair will not break on you." Naruto stopped immediately. "Now, first off, who's all your team?"
"Oh, easy!" Naruto grinned, "First, there's the lovely Haruno Sakura… She's the best, dattebayo! She's smart, pretty, and she's so—"
"I asked who was on your team. Nothing more. Give me descriptions of the posse later."
" … Sorry. And then there's Uchiha Sasuke…" Came the grumble of obvious spite.
Marine nodded and scribbled down something on her clipboard: Uzumaki Naruto— Blockhead; Sakura Haruno— Whore; Sasuke Uchiha— Pretty boy whore. Was written down as the girl looked bored already. "Right. Now give me your opinions on them. Spare me too much detail please."
"Well… Sakura's pretty, and smart, and kind—"
Liar was written down next to Naruto's name.
"—And she's also really strong! You should see her in action! Dattebayo!" Naruto drawled, blushing as he grinned widely. "But she likes Sasuke." Naruto groaned. "It's not fair! Sasuke's such a show-off and he always gets in my way—"
Over-confident was written down.
"—And even worse is he always shows me up! It's not FAIR! It makes me so mad! Dattebayo!"
Childish and says "dattebayo" too much— may be a sign of mental issues was written down.
Marine glanced up from her notes on the blonde— which was the true purpose of the question, "That it?"
"… Yeah I guess so," Naruto muttered softly. Marine just nodded and jotted down one more note. A small line was put through the blonde's name. Obviously she had ruled him out for getting re-castment (it's a word) (however he did not know that, for he had conveniently forgot, just as Sasuke had done) for her fan-fiction aid.
"Thanks, that's all I need," Marine muttered as well, standing up and brushing her legs off idly.
"Huh? Really? No … questions about me or anything?" Naruto asked with confusion as he started to stand up as well. Marine paused for a moment, wrote down the word conceited next to his name and glanced back up with her dull, pupil-less gray eyes.
"No, that's all I needed. Thank you for your time." Marine pushed him out of the room, and then screamed down the hallway, "All right! NEXT IN LINE! Uchiha SASUKE!"
A few moments a black-haired male came to the door, looking blank in the face, but upon looking into his eyes Marine could tell he was furious. "…"
"Uh… all right. Let's start the interview…" Marine said cautiously, as if one wrong move might make the boy blow up. She didn't want that … as much as she hated the boy already from the little she knew of him, she really didn't want to do the paper. The papers for spontaneous combustion are atrocious.
"Yeah, whatever…" Sasuke grumbled and sat down in the chair, arms crossed.
… … 25 minutes later … …
Notes:
Uzumaki Naruto… — Blockhead. Liar. Over-confident. Childish. Says "dattebayo" too much— may be a sign of mental issues. Conceited.
Uchiha Sasuke… —Pretty boy whore. Self-centered. Emo. Competitive. Obsessive. An… Avenger? Has issues concerning older brother and is intent on killing him.
Haruno Sakura… —Whore. Decent medical skills. Schizophrenic or multiple personality syndrome. Obsessive. Has "Teenage Girl Syndrome", for sure. Too pink…
Hatake Kakashi… — Pervert. Pedophile. Definitely out.
…
Rock Lee… — Contractions do not exist within his vocabulary. Looks like a miniature of Maito Gai. Determined, but kind. Reminds me of a hippie. Back-up plan…
X TenTen… — Good with weapons. Confident, but not too. Strong-willed. Reminds me of MingMing of Bakuten Shoot Beyblade, though. Considered nevertheless.
Hyuuga Neji… — Ditched me and knows it. Self-centered. Acts like a walking crystal ball. Obnoxious and has a weird voice pattern. Repeats self.
…
X Hyuuga Hinata… — Couldn't hear a word she said. Much too shy, but nice. Considered nevertheless.
Inuzuka Kiba w/ Akamaru … — A humanoid dog. Over-confident. Cocky. Enough said. He's out.
X Aburame Shino… — Quiet and mysterious, but nice. A good kind of "creepy air" to him. Much more mature than other candidates thus far. Cool shades. Considered.
…
Yamanaka Ino… — Blonde version of Sakura, only much more anorexic. Not a good head on her shoulders. Actually, worse than Sakura. Likes Sasuke… too much.
Akimichi Chouji… — Eats. A lot. Easily distracted with food … but nice enough. Probably would forget job, however. Back-up plan.
Nara Shikamaru… — Ditched me and knows it. He left the interview to "go sleep" and I asked him not even a single question. He's out. He'd never show up even if I did hire 'em.
…
Kankuro… — Looks like a transvestite… … A messed up one. Perverted. Wears too much make-up. Plays with dolls.
X Sabuko no Gaara… — Kazekage from Suna. Has tattoo of the symbol "love" on forehead— unsure of true meaning of the kanji… Ex-jinchuuriki of the Nibi/Shukaku. Good leader. Odd, but … sort of nice… Considered, nevertheless.
Temari… — Bossy and adamant. Sort of intelligent. A little … insane? Hair reminds me of a tulip garden. She seems to compensate for something with a large fan …
END NOTES.
Marine groaned and ran her hand through her bangs with irritation. She was getting nowhere fast. So far, she had only considered 4 people. While that was good (she did only need 2… 3 at the most), she was hoping to be able to chose from more candidates that just 4 (though that would make eliminating easier… but she worried what would happen if she eliminated Gaara, whether the others claimed he was "changed" or not). However, she still had the Akatsuki members to go through. 'This'll be interesting.' She thought bitterly as she waited.
A blonde walked into the room first, his Akatsuki cloak waving behind him gently—none other than Deidara.
"Hm. Deidara, is it? Hello…" Marine nodded to the new candidate. "Sit, please."
The rogue nodded and sat down in a comfortable position (which was hard) on the hard-backed wooden chair. He looked at the black-haired girl blankly but somehow curiously, "Have I seen you before, un?"
"Yes." Marine replied distantly, flipping through her pages of clipboard notes before finding the Akatsuki's page. "Just outside, about a half-an-hour ago."
Obviously that wasn't the answer Deidara was looking for, but nevertheless the Iwagakure rogue just shrugged it off. "Un. Whatever you say. So, you have questions? Shoot, un."
The phrase says "un" too much was the first thing written next to Deidara's name. Marine glanced up with her one-showing eye and looked the boy over carefully, "So, first things first. Your partner… Akasuna no Sasori, correct?"
"Yeah, un," Deidara replied, nodding. "Sasori-danna."
"You highly respect him?" Marine asked, taking note of the "-danna" tag (A/N: FYI, "danna" means "master").
"Gets on my nerves and on my tail about a lot of stuff…" Deidara replied distantly, staring at the ceiling, "He thinks he knows more about art than I do, and he's always playing with those stupid, grotesque dolls of his, yeah." He looked back to the girl absentmindedly, "We really contrast in our views on art… but he's like an older brother to me, I guess, un. Looks out for me. Yeah. I suppose I need it?"
"You certainly seem like the type," was the reply, which got one of Deidara's veins to pulse slightly in his temple. "So, tell me about the other members of the Akatsuki. You don't have the list them all, if you choose not to— just a few."
"Hn," Deidara grunted, "Well, first you have our leader … Peine. He's an ass. He's always telling us what to do and how to do it. I mean, un, I know he's technically the leader and all but… Un, I just don't like him. He did force me to join the Akatsuki, anyway, yeah."
"I see."
"Yeah," Deidara nodded, "Then you have Leader-sama's partner … Konan. She's the only girl in the Akatsuki, un."
Marine jotted down a few notes on Peine (i.e.: not very well liked by comrade and forceful?) and then glanced back up to Deidara, "So, do you feel she's up to Akatsuki standards?"
"Honestly I think it's just because she's doing the leader."
There was a long silence before Marine muttered "oooookay then" and the word whore was written down next to Konan's name. There was a brief silence, which caused Marine to look up at the silent blonde, "Aren't there more Akatsuki members than that?"
"Yeah, there's plenty more, un," Deidara replied, nodding. "There's also Hidan."
"Hmm," Marine jotted down his name. "And who would that one be?"
"He's the religious one, un. The one with the gelled back hair—"
Marine cut him off, "Is he the one who looks like a biker boy?"
"Yeah, un! That's him!" Deidara agreed, nodding and smiling. "Biker boy, un … never thought of it that way before. Very true, un!"
Marine just nodded idly. She stopped listening to him after he seemed to be talking to himself. She glanced up with a look that asked if he was going to continue. Deidara sweatdropped, then seemed to think.
"Then you have Kisame," Deidara started, nodding idly, leaning back in his chair so it was on two legs.
"Kisame?" The girl mimicked lazily, jotting down "Kisame" in her notepad.
"The big blue guy. The one with the big tampon on his back."
"Oh."
Deidara casually looked up to the ceiling, "He looks like a big tough guy, but he's not really that mean … Sure, I mean, un, I'll find an injured bird outside and a few minutes later I'll go and check on it and find it half-eaten by him, but …" The blonde stopped talking at the horrified look on Marine's face. He sweatdropped, smiling lightly, "He's not the cannibal, really, un. That's Zetsu."
Marine shifted nervously in her seat, "O … kay…" She jotted a few comments on Kisame (such as: possible cannibal?? and eats birds) and on Zetsu (like: actually a cannibal). "So … anything else about him?"
"He actually has a problem with his skin colour," Deidara nodded a few times, his arms crossed. "Yeah. He has a major problem with it, un."
"Interesting," Marine muttered absentmindedly as she wrote problem with colour of skin next to Kisame's name.
Deidara leaned back in his chair, "And then you have Shark-man's partner … Itachi Uchiha. I won't say much on him, un, just because I'm getting tired of talking, but I really don't like him!" He clarified, pouting, "I actually hate him so much that I created this—" The blonde lifted his long fringe to show off a robotic-looking device that was situated where an eye once was, "—to counteract the Sharingon he possesses, un!"
"That's something else," Marine nodded, examining his eye with interest, "But it's cool. I have a robotic eye myself, though it doesn't counteract anything."
"Rock on," Deidara said idly. "Anymore questions, un?"
Marine glanced down at the notes she took, flipped a page back to look at what she had written about the Rookies and co., and then shook her head. "No, that will be all. Thanks."
"All right, un, no problem," Deidara got up, "You do you want next, un? I'll tell them to come."
She didn't even glance up at the blonde, "Send in anyone, I don't care," she muttered, jotting things down on her clipboard. Deidara shrugged and stuffed his hands into his newly added cloak pockets (because, you know, those things really need pockets, no joke), walking out of the room. A few moments later, there was shouting and screaming, which caused the black-haired girl to look up and behind herself with confusion. There was another crash, some more screaming and "DON'T THROW THAT AT HIM" before a shadowed over male with only his eyes being visible in the least entered the room, rubbing his temple, and shutting the door noisily behind himself. Marine looked him up and down, with a raised eyebrow, and then turned back forward, "Uh, hello …"
"Eh," The male grumbled something inaudible and made his way to the chair, sitting down irritably.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Okaaay, well, thanks for coming," Marine jotted down something quickly, then glanced up to him. The shadowed man scoffed,
"That's no way to treat the leader of the Akatsuki," He snapped bitterly. "I really don't feel like killing you, just because this is a very easy place to get arrested."
"You're a walking shadow. I'm sorry that I find that bizarre," Marine muttered, seemly unaffected by the hollow threat of the shadow. The leader twitched,
"It's a disguise!"
"It's a walking shadow."
"ARGH!! FINE, FINE, FINE!!" The leader did some weird motion with his hand, grabbed his cloak (presumably) at the shoulder (presumably), and tossed it off like a super hero (wait…) or a super villain's evil (no, I thought the super villain was good! Damn was I off! –end sarcasm-) disguise. The shadow fell to the floor limply and lied beside him, discarded. Suddenly all the features were noticeable and lit up, from the bright orange hair to the 15 piercings that decorated his face. His eyes had a dull orange glow to them, with rings lightly boarding the inside of his eyes. He still wore a large black coat adorned with the Akatsuki clouds, and his black headband reflected he once belonged to Amegakure. "THERE!! HAPPY NOW YOU STUPID PATHETIC HUMAN!?" He shook his fist at her angrily, vein pulsing. Marine didn't bother to mention he was a "stupid pathetic human" as well.
She just closed her eyes boredly and lowered her head to her clipboard, "Yeah, sure. So … if you're the Akatsuki leader, that makes you … Peine, right?"
The man stared, dumb-founded for a moment, before snapping out of it and glaring, "How did you know my name!? What are you?! Some sort of spy!? Listen, I don't care what they told you, I did not have anything to do with operation codename squirrel in pool!!"
"… Operation what?"
"I said nothing. You heard nothing."
"Anyways… I am not a spy in any form. Obviously you didn't pay attention. I simply interviewed one of your comrades," She replied, unaffected.
"No, no you did not!" Peine snapped at her. This response caused Marine to look up,
"Pardon?"
"I said 'no you did not'! They are not comrades, they are minions! MINIONS DAMMIT!!" Peine clarified, pouting and sitting down in his chair like a child. Marine stared at him, blinking, before muttering "alllllrighty then" and jotting down the word childish next to Peine's name.
She looked up at the orange-haired young male and met him straight in the eyes, "So, mind if I ask you some questions?"
"Yes, I do." Peine replied without hesitation, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.
Marine looked startled. She blinked a few times, confused. She realized the man was adamant and cocky, but she didn't honestly think he would reply like that specifically. She sighed, "Fine, then get out. I have no more to say to you," She jotted down a few notes on Peine and then let her arm motion to the door.
It was Peine's turn to look startled, "Hunh?"
"I said get out. If you don't want to answer any questions, get out. I don't feel like dealing with you," She replied boredly. Peine looked like he had been slapped across the face. Not even his minions, who were only a few years at the most younger than him, back talked him, and here was this girl younger than them talking back to him! He growled and glared at her. Leaving was just what she wanted.
'Ah-ha! If she wants me to leave, then staying will piss her off! It's perfect!' "Ah, I changed my mind," Peine started, smiling (wow what an image). Marine looked at him like he just said that the sky was green and the grass was purple (A/N: Itachi: It's red in mine … - Marine: Itachi, get out of my Author's Note. Now.).
"What was that?" Marine asked, blinking with confusion.
"I said … I changed my mind," Peine re-stated, sitting down in a formal, back straight, hands-on-lap position. Marine just blinked a few more times before snapping out of it, and looking down at the clipboard,
"Whatever you say. So," She jotted down a note on Peine (extremely indecisive and a walking shadow?) and then didn't even bother looking up. "Your com— minions." She corrected. "What do you think of them?"
Peine went through a whole explanation, drama and all, and ended up taking 25 minutes… talking about one person.
"And, you know, she really is a good ninja, even though no one else thinks so," The orange haired man waved his hand idly in a circular motion. "I personally think—"
"All RIGHT," Marine cut him off, rubbing her temple, not really wanting to hear the rest. "Listen, not like Konan isn't amazing or anything, but PLEASE talk about someone ELSE or get OUT." She was obviously losing her patience, and probably by the end of these interviewing processes, her mind. By the time Peine had left the interview room (forcibly and with much kicking and screaming), Marine had tossed her notes and was looking ready to pull out her hair. She couldn't stand anymore interviews, even though she had gone through all of two Akatsuki members.
"Oi," Naruto had walked into the room, after hearing all the fuss (and soon enough, seeing it— however Peine was soon tranquilized "accidentally" by Kakashi, who looked like he had been taking his glaucoma medicine), "Daijoubu, Marine-chan?" (A/N: "Daijoubu?" means "all you all right?", FYI)
"SHOOT ME." She ground out, placing her hands on the wall and bashing her head into it once. Hard. Naruto flinched slightly, recoiling a little. The trickle of blood running down the fox-girl's forehead must have been some indication that it hurt. The crack in the wall might have been one, too, but Naruto chose to conveniently ignore that.
"So, choose anyone for that thingy you were doing?"
"Aggghhhh don't remind me…"
The blood was now forming a small pool on the floor and a bright red line running down the wall.
Naruto felt it was in his best interest to leave.
And possibly call an ambulance.
Or Tsunade.
Probably Tsunade because ambulances don't exist in their world.
"WHY MUST I HEAR THESE VOICES FROM NOWHERE!? WHAT DID I EVER DO YOU TO YA STUPID CEILING!! … … … AND WHAT THE HELL IS AN ANBULANCE!?"
… … A few minutes later … …
Marine was bandaged up, looked like she was in a foul mood, and had thrown her clipboard at Sasuke and successfully started 4 fights. With one person. I can tell she's had a long day … Anyways, it was now time to reveal the new introduce… ers of the Rules of Naruto.
"All right," The black-haired girl growled at all the ninja lined up against the wall. Some of them were leaning over to each other and muttering "are we playing dodge ball?" and the person they talked to replied with "what's dodge ball?" Some of them were staring at Naruto as he ranted to Kakashi on how he heard "voices from the sky that told him of a wondrous thing called an 'anbulance' that ferried people to a large place with many woman", and successfully got Kakashi wandering away from Konoha in search of this "mysterious object". Anyways, basically they were all confused, and Marine cleared her throat to get their attention. "So, I interviewed all— … well, most of you, and I have come to a decision." She glanced to her tattered and scratched up board (it was now barely recognizable as a clipboard, really, and … it seemed to be now just simply a piece of cardboard) and flipped a page up.
"So who's gonna be a star, dattebayo?" Naruto asked curiously. Sasuke just looked at him and muttered "definitely not you" which caused a whole "I HATE YOU!!" shapheal that was effectively ignored and then silenced by Marine glaring heatedly at the blonde.
"Anyways… The three new ninja that will be assisting me in various projects will be…" She checked the paper again quickly, before flicking her eyes back up the anxious (or bored of out their mind) shinobi. "Aburame Shino!" The bug boy seemingly glanced over to her, and nodded lightly. She nodded back, then took her gaze elsewhere, "Hyuuga Hinata!" The shy girl looked shocked, and then fiddled with her coat, blushing and smiling nervously. "And finally … somehow … Peine of the Akatsuki."
Sasori looked shocked, "Seriously?" He asked, now looking confused. He had the said man currently slung over his shoulders, knocked out still from the tranquilizers used on him.
"Unfortunately, he seemed the … most interesting, even though he … may be clinically insane," Marine replied, throwing her clipboard behind herself. Sasori muttered an agreement, and then Marine spoke again, "Back-ups of these three will be TenTen and Sabuko No Gaara. And … the back-up of the back-ups is Rock Lee. So. Congratulations, and I hope you enjoy your job. Now leave me alone." She started to walk off.
It took the chosen ninja to realize something sort of important…
"She … never bothered to tell us where to go," Shino muttered, raising an eyebrow. Hinata just nodded, flustered at the shock of being chosen, and Peine said nothing because he was still tranq-ed out of his mind.
Lo and behold, here were the new introducers. Oh. Dear. God.
And if you're wondering how Marine narrowed it down …
She actually drew names out of a hat :)
Ah, hats.
We love you so.
Until you give us hat hair.
"SAKURA-CHAAANNNN I HEAR THE VOICES AGAIN AND THIS TIME THEY'RE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE HAT HAIR!! I DON'T EVEN WEAR A HAT!!"
M-D13: And there you have it. So, everyone, let's make Shino, Hinata, and Peine feel welcome.
Shino: …
Hinata: -blushing- … Uh, uh, t-t-thank you f-for ch-choosing me…
M-D13: No problem, kiddo… Hey, wait, where's Peine?
Sasori: -comes in with Peine slumped over his shoulder- Where should I put it?
M-D13: Ahh, just leave it in the corner. I'll get to it later.
Peine: -thrown into corner carelessly-
M-D13: Right! Anyways! I'll have the next set of rules (FIVE-HUNDRED FUCKING RULES! YES!!) up soon enough because I already have them done. So, I hope you look forward to it! THANKS FOR READING!!
R&R